I'M GETTING CUCKED
I'm no mindreader, but I think that I know what you guys are thinking. As you've read my harrowing account of witnessing my Queen Himiko getting violated by that vile ogre Mondo, you're thinking something along the lines of 'Psh! This punk is letting someone grope his girl? What a wimp! I'd never let that happen'. Or some variation of 'if it was me, I'd be throwing hands'. For you readers out there who think I'm a total pussy, let's just do a thought experiment for a moment.
What if, one day, you find out that your girlfriend has secretly been hanging out.... with Buakaw? As you scroll through her instagram, you discover that behind your back, she's been talking to Buakaw for hours on end, trading pics with Buakaw, buying Buakaw Nitro, playing Deep Rock Galactic with Buakaw, being Buakaws pocket medic, going to Buakaws mansion, being Buakaws sparring partner, and to your horror.... you even find a video of Buakaw clapping your girls cheeks. What do you do, then? Are you still going to 'throw hands'?
Oh, who am I kidding? This is Webnovel, no-one has a girlfriend here... I mean, I do, but as you can see, I'm sharing her. Anyway, the point is... Are you going to puff up your chest and go 'dont touch my girl bro' ... To Buakaw? Have you seen that man?
Wait a minute, that isn't a good enough comparison. This is an English webnovel, so likely, westerners would be reading this, and westerners aren't really into Muay Thai. Plus, thai guys are a little bit smaller, so I know for a fact that there's a few big guys out there, probably reading this in the Gym in their rest period inbetween sets, thinking,
oH iM 200Cm AnD i WeIgH oNe ThIrTy!!!11! AiNt NoBoDy gOnNa ToUcH mY gIrL bRo iLl RoId RaGe BrO
Fair point. Your weight does matter in a fight. Let's reconceptualize this scenario to both be more accurate to my current situation and to account for you big guys out there.
What if Bob Sapp did that, then?
What if Bob Sapp started playing with your girls asscheeks infront of you?
Anywho, guys. I don't mean to ask this of you, but are any of you in the mood to help me out? I need you to give a visual reference for the denser members of the audience. So they can understand what I'm talking about, go into the reader comments of this paragraph. This paragraph right here. Press it. Post Bob Sapp in the comments. If you're the first reader and there isn't a pic or gif of Bob Sapp yet, then do me a favour: search up Bob Sapp and post him in the comments of this paragraph. Trust me, I'd do it myself, but I'm too busy being cucked. Thanks a bunch, dude.
If there are photos of Bob Sapp in the above paragraph, dear reader, take a long and hard look at that comment section.... Visualise that giant, muscular fighter, grabbing your girlfriend's butt in one huge paw of a hand, calling her pretty, making her feel desired and loved even though she has fat rolls spilling out of her shirt. If you still think that you're going to puff your chest up and say 'Don't touch my girl or I'll give you a knuckle sandwich!', then I got one thing to say.
HAIYAAAAA!!!! ARE YOU CRAZY?!? He won't fuck your girl, he'll fuck YOU!
You wonder why I didn't draw upon my Afro-Japanese blood and use my 'crash-out' quirk on Mondo? IT'S BECAUSE HE'D FUCKING KILL ME!!!! I don't know how to fight! I'm not aggressive, hell, I'm like 5'6 and 50kg, meanwhile, Mondo is not only a genuine fuckin' psychopath, but he's also 6'2 AND muscular AND he did Muay Thai too!! I had never fought in my life, I blustered and smiled and 'thank-you'd my way out of every physical confrontation, meanwhile, Mondo literally had more fights than hot meals AND trains to hurt people AND in Muay Thai, too! The PAIN SPORT! What the hell was I supposed to do?! He wouldn't fuck Himiko, he'd fuck ME!
But as I sit against the wall of the dark hallway, listening to Himiko laugh and joke with the disgusting, filthy delinquents.... I get the creeping feeling that despite all the above reasoning.... Everything I just said was nothing but cowardly excuses. Maybe, you guys are right to think that... I should have done something. To be honest, I wish I did something, anything. I wish I could tell you that I preserved my dignity and won my girl back with my bravery in the face of danger, even it it meant I'd drink my meals through a straw for the next month.. But the fear...The overwhelming, numbing fear prevented me from moving an inch into that alleyway, my natural fight-or-flight instinct coming in clutch to save me from committing suicide by thug.
So, you know what I did? I did the only thing that I could do... I got up, the light above the double-doors on my back, and with my head hung low and manly tears trailing down my cheeks in salty lines...
... I simply walked away.