ARC 1: The Abandoned Lover’s Salvation (13) Chapter 13: Unqualified Lover

Augustine couldn't even remember how he got from the office to the hospital. He could only remember how he was scared to death when Eclaire suddenly passed out that he rushed him to the hospital using Camilo's car which is the nearest at the time.

After knowing his friend's condition is stable, Camilo already left, giving the two their own space and trying to calm his thoughts.

Augustine already heard the doctor said that Eclaire only passed out because of exhaustion and that he's already safe, but he still couldn't stop himself from worrying.

He's still sitting beside the bed, holding his lover's small hands.

Eclaire is such a small person.

He thought he already kept this small person safe. He thought that he already made this small person feel peaceful. He thought that he already made it known to this small person how much he meant to him.

Augustine felt so bad. He couldn't stop blaming himself. If only he tried to understand his lover more. If only he didn't argue with him in the first place. If only he just indulged him for life…

If only he wasn't such a failure of a lover.

Not long after, Eclaire finally woke up. Augustine hurried to rub his hair but Eclaire's eyes were empty. He kissed his hand and called, "Love…" receiving no answer.

He called again and again but his beloved remained silent. Eclaire's pale face and small figure looks like he's sunken on the bed. Just the sight of his state cut Augustine's heart to pieces. He didn't know how long he called before the psychiatrist comes and examines Eclaire.

He was told to stay outside first after he gave some details so he could only wait restlessly. After some time, the psychiatrist exited the room and told him that Eclaire is still in the state of shock earlier so he couldn't properly respond and was lost to his own thoughts.

Not only that, the psychiatrist also told him the she tried other methods that doesn't require a lot of talking and discovered that there's a high chance that Eclaire reacted that extremely because he was stimulated, usually this kind of stimulation stems from prolonged influence and manipulation.

When a person is being manipulated with or without knowing, even if the manipulation stopped, as soon as the trigger was pulled, the person will act according to what the manipulator wish for.

She told Augustine that Eclaire can be easily triggered just from hearing and recalling the event that Augustine told him to. It wasn't just the other person's blind jealousy, she found out that the patient is actually being influenced to act the way he did. Of course, Lumiere gave off many clues for her to find out.

Before leaving, the psychiatrist suggested that Eclaire should have schedules of psychotherapy. Augustine thanked her first before entering the room once again. This time, Eclaire is already sitting, still a bit dazed but with a better condition to have a conversation.

"Love…" Augustine called once again.

Eclaire's head turned towards him. His lips thinned in fear. He looked down to his hands, tightly clutching the quilt. With his small and hoarse voice, he spoke, "S-Sorry…"

Augustine sat on the bed and embraced him, gently patting his back, "Sshh… I'm not angry, don't be sorry."

"I… didn't mean to… scold you… or…" Eclaire's voice grew smaller and smaller until he couldn't help but clench his fists tighter and only whisper, "D-Don't abandon me… I beg you…"

He doesn't dare touch the man in front of him. He doesn't dare annoy him. He doesn't dare make him hate him more. As long as he isn't abandoned, he'll look away.

"I-It's f-fine if… G-Gus wants Jen too… just… just… keep w-wanting me…" he whispered, "I w-won't complain… any… more…"

"No." Augustine spoke firmly, "I don't want that, okay?"

Eclaire only looked away, trembling slightly, nodding obediently.

Augustine wanted to say more when his phone rang. He answered it and it was Moran's voice. He then faced Eclaire and instructed him to take more rest.

Eclaire immediately obeyed and fell asleep almost instantly.

Augustine stepped outside the room and asked coldly, "Who did it?"

Moran answered, "Once we conducted the investigation, the guards caught Nanny Betty trying to run away. We've detained her for now."

"Good." Augustine's eyes were murderous as he spoke without a care, "While I'm still not around, show her how hospitable the Lughrenoir household could be."

"As you command." Moran answered before Augustine hang up.

Upon exiting the hospital, he found a familiar car. Lowering the window, a face similar to his popped up, "Hello my dearest younger brother! Missed me?"

Augustine opened the door and sat beside Clementine, looking so downcast.

"What about Richie?" Augustine wondered.

"Don't worry about him. I borrowed some of your trusted guards to accompany him in a theatre nearby after I received Moran's request of cooperation." He said with a smile, "So? How's Eclaire?"

Augustine's face turned darker even more, he sighed and said, "Not good."

"I see…" Clementine's face is still facing the road. They went quiet for a second before he continued, "Did you actually cheat though?"

"I would never!" Augustine, as if provoked, answered loudly.

"Then… does that mean that Eclaire doesn't trust you after all these years of being together?" Clementine wondered which hit Augustine's sore spot.

He's also wondering the same thing. Eclaire continuously says that he'll trust him, his actions, his words. So why…? Why did Eclaire choose to listen to someone else instead of him?

"Brother… do you think I'm unqualified to be with him?" he finally asked.

Clementine is still smiling, not even sparing him a glance. After all, he's driving.

"It's not that you are unqualified, Augustine." He spoke, "Rather, it's because our dear Eclaire is too innocent and pure that he's easier to corrupt and break. For example, fake calls, fake texts, fake images… he perceives them all as the truth."

Clementine even thought that if he pretended to act similarly to Augustine in front of Eclaire, that cinnamon might actually mistake him as his brother and obediently roll with him under the sheets!

Augustine stopped his pessimistic outlook abruptly and faced Clementine, "What do you mean?"

Clementine, on the other hand, didn't change his expression nor his tone, "When you ordered Moran and Sheena to investigate everyone, I suddenly felt like investigating as well."

He drove to a U-turn before continuing, "Before he left in a hurry, I saw some abnormalities in his expression and actions. He also suddenly couldn't look at me in the face. We look similar so why, indeed? I was planning to ask him when he returns home but then I received the news of him kicking up a fuss."

"So I entered his room to do some investigation myself and guess what I found?" he reached for the compartment in front of Augustine and opened it before focusing on driving once again, "There, his second to the last call log was you. However, the time is a bit suspicious. After all, we're supposed to be messaging each other."

Augustine grabbed Eclaire's phone which has no password and opened the call log. It's true. He didn't call Eclaire at all. Furthermore, the phone number used is the phone number he only used for the company. A spare number. He saved it on Eclaire's phone just in case.

Then he noticed the stack of photos. Upon looking through them, he almost want to rip them to shreds.

These are all edited! And poorly at that!

He calmed himself first and tried to look for other clues from Eclaire's phone when he saw a recording of their call.

The call that he didn't make.

He gulped and pressed play. Just listening to the first few words, he wanted to vomit already. He doesn't want to believe it, but the only person who would and could do these things… it's Jen.

He even edited his words!

When Augustine said, "You're way out of his league, how can he compare?" he was actually saying that to a close business partner who actually has low self-esteem. He said that to cheer him up! That's it!

When he said, "Let him hear. It'll be faster for him to realize things this way. I can't believe he's so dumb, couldn't even keep up with the pace." It was actually addressed to a newbie from his company, who's sitting in front of him, being scolded because he couldn't do things right. Especially when he's all talk and easily blames others for his mistakes. That's it!

When he said, "Then he should just hurry up and die. Stop wasting my precious time, it's annoying." He was talking to other business partners, and they are sarcastically roasting their enemy company owners while drinking lightly and eating barbeques! That's it!

How come his words became insults to Eclaire all of a sudden?!

But then he suddenly trembled upon realizing something.

He faced Clementine, panic-driven, he shouted, "Brother! Go back! We need to go back to the hospital!"

Clementine's smile froze upon hearing Augustine's trembling voice, "What's the matter?"

Augustine, "I… I told Eclaire to only listen to my words… if…" he gritted his teeth, "If he truly believes this conversation and kills himself when I'm not there! I'd go mad! Turn back!"

Clementine couldn't keep his calm anymore. His careful and law-abiding driving style instantly shifted and drove as if he's in a death race competition. He also started to panic a bit.

If Eclaire died, Augustine might follow him to his death. Of course he couldn't just let it happen! It's better to pay a fine from driving too fast than losing his brother's life!

Augustine can only pray in return. If something happens to Eclaire… how could he bear it?

He shouldn't have left him alone! He should've just waited beside him, comforting him until he feels safe once more!

"Ugh…" Augustine covered his eyes with his palm. A warm stream of tears flow down. His brother can only comfort him lightly.

Upon reaching where they started, Augustine hurriedly entered the hospital and went straight to Eclaire's room.

Just as he thought, the moment he slammed the door open, the drinking glass was already shattered on the floor and Eclaire, sitting on the ground, is actually cutting his own wrist.

Surprised, Eclaire looked up and shivered upon seeing Augustine, "G-Gus…?" he uttered helplessly with awkwardness in his voice. He bit his lower lip and hid his hands behind him.

"Y-You're back? I… I…it's not…"

Augustine, the one who's trying to calm down since earlier, finally snapped, "It's not what?!" he shouted.

Eclaire trembled, scared-silly, he was approached by Augustine after he slammed the door closed and locked it so that doctors and nurses couldn't disturb them.

Augustine yanked his bleeding wrist and Eclaire was forced to stand, hissing in pain.

"You want to die?! Do you want to die that badly?! Do you want to fucking leave me?!" He asked and threw him on the bed.

"Ahh!" Eclaire trembled. His Gus right now is very scary. Although he didn't get hurt when he was thrown on the bed, Augustine's eyes and voice is more than enough to scare him.

"N-No… I don't want… don't want… G-Gus…" he sniffed, already crying.

Augustine then pulled Eclaire's bleeding wrist, "Then what the fuck is this?! Why are you cutting yourself?!"

"I'm s-sorry… hic! I'm sorry… u-uwaaaahhh!!" Eclaire bawled, trying his best to sit down, he grabbed on the hem of Augustine's polo desperately.

"I won't… I won't do it anymore Gus… hic! If you don't like it… I won't do it! Gus! Please! I'm s-sorry! I was wrong!" he cried.

Augustine's tears fell down once again, "Dammit! Dammit Eclaire!" he cursed and hugged the boy in his arms tightly as if he's holding onto his last bit of sanity, "I told you I love you many times! I told you I only want you many times! Those fucking bullshit like that, don't fucking listen to them! I still haven't loved you enough! Not enough! I'm yours! I'm all yours! I'm only yours! If you kill yourself, how can I go on living alone?!"

He planted a kiss on the crying Eclaire, fearing that his lover might not be listening. Even though the cuts on his wrist weren't deep because of some hesitation, Augustine still shivers, "You can't leave me! I won't allow it!"

He leaned down and put his ear towards Eclaire's beating heart. Only then can he slowly calm down.

He stayed that way listening to his beloved's thumping heart. Eclaire, on the other hand, wrapped his arms around Augustine's neck, still sobbing pitifully.

*****

The situation outside was pacified with the help of Clementine and soon, it was already quiet. Eclaire's wrist is already bandaged while both of them is still hugging each other, lying on the bed. He couldn't help but smile as he calls his lover's name, "Gus…"

"Yes, love?" Augustine answered.

"Hehe…" Eclaire giggled foolishly and called him two more times which Augustine replied sweetly every time.

Augustine looked at his little fool warmly. This time, for sure, he'll make it so that Eclaire won't get hurt no matter what. He wouldn't forgive nor let the people who hurt his beloved go unpunished.

"Darling…" He called.

"Hmm?" Eclaire answered.

"Want me to massage you?" Augustine asked.

Eclaire blinked in a wonder, "Right now?"

"En." Augustine smiled gently, his eyes turning dark.

"M'kay…" Eclaire gave him his best smile. Augustine sat up while Eclaire lie on his front. His hand traced his lover's back and a subtle possessive smile escaped his lips.

This time, so that his lover won't try to do the same stupid thing, he'll make his Eclaire know how much he means to him… through actions, of course.