Vol.3 Ch.51- Respite.

The remaining journey to Nactus seemed to be taking longer than it should have. After our fight with the bandits, the attack on the soldiers, and the odd confrontation with the Twilight Knight, all of us were thoroughly drained.

With the help of the farmers, we doused my flames, counted the dead, and piled the bodies of the fallen for cremation. We decided to take a majority of the bandit's loot since it was technically our spoils now. It's also not like the dead merchants would come looking for their stolen goods anyway. We left a majority of the soldier's equipment with the farmers so they could make a profit. Well, that's what Dem said at least. It's more like he doesn't want to sell gear from dead soldiers on the open market. A wise decision.

The farmers were kind enough to let us sleep the day away at their house and we gladly accepted their kindness. I'm sure sleeping in my oversized sleeping bag on the cold ground would not have let me recover as much as a warm bed. After a day's rest at the farm, we set out for Nactus at daybreak.

None of us have really talked about the aftermath of our battle with the soldiers. Dem ended up executing the mage commander after all of us agreed unanimously to do so. We might have gotten a bounty for him but more than likely a man of his status would have been able to worm his way out of punishment. And if he could do that he would be able to seek retribution on us.

Besides, the mage deserved death. But this also means we won't be able to link House Stav to the bandits. But that was only a small possibility in the first place.

House Stav is powerful. They could easily manipulate their way out of the bandit situation just like how the mage can use his status. And Sandervile would be unlikely to believe a group of adventures over a noble house even if we provided hard evidence. If the mage himself testified House Stav would just cut him off, most likely citing him to be a rogue element. That's just the way the world works.

But I was more thankful that we wouldn't be getting involved with Sandervile's internal matters. I needed to distance myself from that place as much as possible after all. If karma existed, then House Stav would pay for their wrongdoings soon enough. And luckily for House Stav, I wouldn't be a force for karma.

But this little adventure left me with a whole lot more questions than answers. Dem is apparently a Wyrm Slayer. Then there is the Twilight Knight and why he was interested in Sylvia and me.

This Twilight Knight was an enigma to me. He was only interested in Sylvia and me, but why? He asked both of us to take our masks off and both of us shot him down yet he didn't complain or push his request.

The possibilities are endless. He might be looking for me but on behalf of who, I can't say. Then again he could just be looking for somebody completely irrelevant. If he was also looking for an Elven boy then asking Sylvia didn't make sense, she was obviously a girl. Well, it was obvious to me at least.

Best to just leave it as is. If we ever cross paths again maybe we can have a conversation.

I also wanted to ask Dem about his title but after the initial shock ran its course an odd air seemed to hang over our group. Even Anna, the usual light of the party, seemed awfully dim recently.

But tonight I will have a chance. I offered myself up for guard duty tonight with Dem and Alce. I was still tired and my body ached but I had done a lot of sleeping the last day and a half. We still had many days of traveling until we reached Nactus and would be stopping in a small village to get some proper rest and turn our quest in.

Normally I tried to stay in camp as much as possible but today I thought I would go with Alce for a little bit. The ranger tended to wander around the campsite instead of staying in one place. I also figured I would let Dem stew a bit in silence in hopes that the normally talkative warrior would feel like conversing a bit.

"It's unusual for you to join me on one of my walks, Voker. Have you recovered already?" Alce asked me in Elvish.

I think she was genuinely worried about my health. After this battle, I felt a bit closer to this ragtag group of adventurers. Perhaps they trusted me a little more as well. Or maybe they were just afraid of me or taking pity on me. Who knows?

"I'm doing okay, just a little tired. I've been cooped up for too long. If I could walk normally, I'd be doing the same thing as you," I said honestly.

My mouth felt a little weird from speaking Elvish. I hadn't held a conversation in Elvish in years but it just felt… normal. Almost, like it was meant to be. I never did have that kind of feeling in my previous life. At least, I think I didn't.

"Is that so… Your leg, you weren't born with that were you?" Alce asked me.

"No, I was injured in a fight. I haven't found a healer who has been able to heal me yet."

"Oh… And your hand?" Alce said quietly.

"A monster took it," I said simply.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. It was worth it."

Alce gave me a look of concern but chuckled, "You are an interesting one. Don't think I've ever heard somebody say losing a limb was worth anything."

"So I've been told," I said.

"Is it true that you wear that mask because you think you are ugly?" Alce asked me.

I looked over at the blonde ranger and tried to gauge if she was just curious or questioning me. I'm not sure if I've gotten better or worse at understanding people but I feel like she was just asking out of curiosity again. Or maybe she just wants to know more about the person she is trusting her back to. I can understand that.

I mean I used to have a datapad with every ounce of information about my squad. I knew everything about their past. Every mission. Every test. Every medical examination. All of it. Things were easier back then… but I don't miss it. Maybe just the people that made up all of that information.

"Yes and no. The truth is I'm disfigured. In more ways than one. I don't want people seeing my face," I said calmly.

"I get that," Alce said while nodding her head solemnly. "Nobody is perfect. And I understand wanting to change the way people look at you. Even if that means changing how you look. Not that I've ever had to do that…"

"Dem told me you are from the Republic of Elshara. What's it like over there in your homeland?" I asked.

"Did he now… Going around telling people my business, that man…" Alce groaned. But then she looked over at me and smiled, "But I don't mind you knowing. Just wished Dem told you to ask me. And as for what it's like… peaceful, I guess? I spent the first century of my life in that forest. I didn't leave and I spent most of my life thinking I would never leave it. I got bored. Living the same kind of life day after day. I needed a change so I left the Magical Forest. And well the rest is history."

"Century?" I choked out.

Alce looked at me with her swirling cold blue eyes and tilted her head, "Mmm? Yeah, why do you sound surprised? Can you not tell how old I am or something?"

I looked at Alce and blinked a few times. At times like this, I was glad I was wearing a mask. I'm sure I had a dumb look on my face as I tried to discern her age. I could not tell for the life of me how old this Wood Elf woman was. In Human years she would barely be in her early twenties. But obviously, that's not the case.

"Uh, no… I can't. Should I be able to? Can you tell how old I am?" I asked, unable to hide my concern.

Alce looked at me and blinked a few times. "Really?"

"Really," I said back seriously.

Alce looked away with a face of surprise and amazement. "I have always been able to tell how old another Elf is. Regardless of if they are Dark, Wood, or High. I mean I can at least get it within a decade or so. And so has everyone I've ever known. Like… I know you are barely over a decade old. Since I can't see your face it's hard to tell but… I'd guess you are either eleven or twelve?"

"Yes…"

She turned to me with a look of concern, her short blonde hair swaying with the motion, "And you really can't tell how old I am?"

"No…"

Alce pursed her lips then shrugged, "Well it's a big world I guess. First time for everything, right? Just… don't take it to heart, okay?"

"I won't… doesn't really bother me," I grumbled.

Alce winced and gave me a pat on the shoulder. It did bother me. Why was it that I couldn't discern the age of Elves? Yet I could tell if an Elf was mixed or full-blooded. Most people apparently had problems knowing the gender of Elves but for me, it never seemed to be a problem. Was it because I lived a previous life as a non-Elf? Has that somehow hindered my development as an Elf? Who am I kidding? Of course, it has. I'm the furthest thing from normal…

"Voker, relax…"

"I'm fine."

"You don't have to get all pouty, I guess you are around that age though. But It's not a big deal, really. " I wanted to defend myself but I just stopped. Alce chuckled either at my plight or my reaction. "You know, even though I can't see your face, I can almost always tell how you are feeling?"

"You can? Am I that obvious?" I said somewhat surprised.

"Yes… yes, you are," Alce said with a warm smile. "And that's not a bad thing. I mean unless you are trying to go for the whole mysterious guy appeal. If you are trying to do that then I'll be the first to tell you that you are doing a terrible job," she chuckled.

"Thankfully I wasn't trying to be… mostly," I admitted.

Alce laughed and even I let out a small chuckle. It was odd seeing her like this. I thought Alce to be the cool, calm and collected type. Maybe even a little on the aggressive side of things but it doesn't seem to me that she is. She is actually very nice and caring. Maybe it's those eyes of hers? Her facial features don't help much. Most of the time she looks dead serious or maybe even slightly annoyed at things.

Huh… is this how Padraic sees me? Judging a book by its cover…

But I had a question on my mind. It was a question that I don't believe I've ever asked anybody for as long as I have been alive,

"What do you think of me?"

Alce tapped the tip of her chin and hummed, "What do I think of you?"

Seemingly coming to an answer she spoke, "Let's see… You're serious. Very serious but you aren't emotionless. Even though you are young you don't act your age. I think maybe life forced your hands… uh, hand, that is," She chuckled nervously. "You act standoffish but I don't think you really are. I think your past is hurting you and you just aren't ready to talk about it. And if you ever want to talk I'd be more than happy to listen." She stopped and rubbed her eyes.

I guess the ranger is more perceptive than I thought.

"Ummm… You are a reliable team member. Despite only being together for a short time I feel like I can trust you. Perhaps that has to do with the forest bringing us together. And I think when it comes to how we decide things, you and I are similar and uh… yeah. Was that what you were asking for? Nobody ever asked me what I thought about them before… it's kind of embarrassing."

"No, that was just about what I was expecting. It is a little odd hearing somebody say those things about me but, thank you," I said honestly.

A small warmth spread through my chest. I didn't particularly care what others thought about me but It felt good and somewhat awkward hearing those things. I'm not sure if me being serious was what I wanted, but I'd rather be serious and trusted than mocked and hated. Also, not having to look over my shoulder all the time feels pretty good. But there was a problem that extinguished the small fire in my chest.

The problem is they trust Voker Winterheart, not Kaladin Shadowheart. But I guess I'm not Kaladin right now, so… I… I don't actually know. I let out a deep sigh and stretched my neck.

I think for the time being at least, I'm okay with this arrangement. Not happy, just okay with it. And being okay with it feels better than my previous situation at Sandervile.

One step at a time.

Alce was looking at me in concern once more so I decided to fill the silence with a question,

"Say, Alce, I never did ask you. That magic you used when we first met. What was that?"

When Alce first found me in Gilcour Thicket she used some kind of magic to make her voice bounce around. Almost like she was a disembodied voice. But it didn't hide her presence from me.

"Oh, that? I can't use any schools of magic, it's just my magic item. It's a C grade and I got it from a dungeon a long time ago. It's pretty useful against less experienced people or monsters that rely on their hearing," Alce said while taking something out of a pocket on her vest.

She handed me a small sliver that was made out of what just appeared to be iron. It didn't look like anything. Just a fragment of iron that was perfectly sliced off of something. I rolled it around in my hands and it was smooth all around. It was warm but other than that there didn't seem to be anything particularly interesting about the item.

"It doesn't look like anything special. Let alone a magic item," I said.

"Nope, it sure doesn't. I took the head off of a skeleton and found it in its pocket. I almost discarded the thing thinking it was nothing more than a piece of metal but thankfully my party member at the time told me to keep it. Turns out it was a magic item. To use it all you have to do is put it in your mouth like a toothpick, feed it a little bit of mana, and then speak like you normally would."

…This has been in her mouth?

"Good to know," I said quickly while handing back her magic toothpick.

Alce took her magic item back and while putting it away asked me, "Do you have any magic items? It's a shame the gem broke on that mage's staff. It would have been a nice conduit for your spells."

"Yes, it would have. I've been wanting one but I don't want to spend all my money. At least I can sell the steel wand… wasn't even made of real gold, cheap bastard," I grumbled.

Alce laughed, "Most aren't. A master craft wand or staff costs a fortune. I've seen a wand with a shard of a dungeon core go for three or four large gold and it wasn't even constructed with cobalt or mithril, let alone a rare monster part."

"Four large gold… that's a lot of money…." I mused. "But what's this about dungeon cores? I've never actually seen one."

"They are some of the best conduits for mages, didn't you know that?"

"Well, yes, I knew that. But aren't they incredibly rare?" I said.

"They are but they aren't impossible to find. Small dungeons pop up occasionally. Those tend to only be a few floors and clearing them isn't too hard if you have a good team. Not every dungeon is like Dragons Rest or the Iron Citadel nor are they as difficult as the guild makes them out to be. And whenever you break one of those dungeon cores it shards itself into a bunch of gems. It's an odd experience. The more floors the dungeon has the more "pure" your gems are. That shard on that Sandervile mage's staff was really pure. It probably came from a dungeon with double-digit floors," Alce said.

"I see… I didn't know all of that."

If my memory serves me correctly dungeons are rated at a threat level of 150. A threat level of 100 is a danger to a village or town and 200 is a threat to a city. And I remember Squeaks telling me about Dragons Rest. It's a dungeon in the eastern part of Amoth in the mists. That is the reason that area is even called the mists since it leaks a mist out from it. Dragons Rest is one of the oldest in the world and all attempts to clear it have failed.

"Something the matter?" Alce asked me.

"No, I was just thinking. Alce, why did that Twilight Knight call Dem, Wyrm Slayer?"

She sighed and stretched her shoulders. "Unlike Dem, I don't like talking about other people's pasts. If you want to know you are going to have to ask him about it."

"But it's something serious, isn't it? It's got everybody in some kind of funk. And I have a feeling I'm not the only one who doesn't know why. Well, maybe me and Sylvia," I questioned.

"Maybe. But I won't be the one to tell you. If you want to know so bad just go ask him? He's sitting by the fire alone and I'm sure everyone else is asleep already. I mean I can hear Ilme snoring from here," Alce said playfully.

"Yeah, I think I will."

"Don't worry, I can handle the rest of the shift. Go get some sleep. You are growing after all," she said with a dismissive wave.

"What?! Am I really?!" I squeaked. And much to my own embarrassment, my voice cracked as well. Seems that has been happening more lately.

Alce looked at me with a raised eyebrow. She seemed to be observing me but then she started laughing.

"That's what gets you excited? You are an incredibly powerful mage but you getting a little bit taller makes you that excited?" she choked out between giggles.

"I… uh… I guess?"

Apparently, that was not the right answer as Alce continued laughing at me. I felt my ears heat up as I turned around to walk back to camp. And of course, this only made Alce laugh even harder as she fell to her knees in a laughing fit,

"Oh…oh… I can't believe this, haha, my sides! Voker, don't be mad please, haha, I'm sorry, Voker!"

I felt the heat rise in my face and ears as I ignored the pleading Alce. And I made a decision…

I take everything back. I hate it here.

—

I left Alce and returned to the campsite. We were just camping out under the stars in a wide-open meadow. Anna and Sylvia were sleeping in the back of the carriage while Ilme's snoring was enough to rumble the earth underneath her. Silent was tucked away into his sleeping bag seemingly oblivious to the sleeping dragon next to him. Or maybe he just had a lot of practice.

Dem was sitting on the ground in front of a dying fire repairing the links on his chainmail. It was unlike Dem to let the fire get so low and even more so for him to be sitting in silence. The normally young outgoing warrior greeted anyone who approached the fire but today that heavy atmosphere still lingered around him like a thick fog.

I sprawled down on the ground and stared up into the night sky. The night sky was beautiful on this planet. I've seen many night skies like this but they never did make me feel this way. I guess it makes me feel more at home. I've never stayed under one for this long before.

The single large white moon was basking the campsite in its light. The largest moon of this world was surrounded by four smaller ones. Although the smaller ones were still relatively large. If I'm not mistaken the second largest religion of this world is based around the moons. It's a High Elf religion but plenty of Humans and even Beastmen follow it. It's more common across the mountain range but I've never paid too much attention to it. Their clergy seem less active than those of Amon-Ra. But I wasn't here to be thinking about this kind of stuff.

Dem must have been watching me as he was the first one to speak, "Ever wonder if there is more out there?"

For your sake. And the sake of everyone on this planet. I sure hope not.

Apparently taking my silence as an answer Dem continued speaking in a solemn voice, "Makes you feel small. Like no matter what you do you just don't matter."

"That's the wrong way to look at it," I said flatly.

I sat up and looked at Dem. He was looking at me but it didn't feel like he was all there.

I filled my lungs with the cold night air and gazed out into space, "If anything you should gaze up at the stars and be thankful that you exist. It is because you are alive and here right now that you can look up into the cosmos and dream about the unthinkable. Sure you could be out there but if you were, you wouldn't be you. You would just be a speck of stardust in the vast nothingness. Enjoying the night sky is a privilege of the living and the intelligent. A sign that we are something more."

I looked back down and Dem was just staring at me listlessly, "You know… every time I think I start to understand you the more I realize I know nothing. But glad to be alive, huh?"

Dancing around the bush wasn't going to help. I decided on a frontal attack. I brought the dying fire back to life with a bit of magic and looked right at Dem,

"Why did that knight call you Wyrm Slayer? And why are you so down about it?" I asked seriously.

Dem blinked a few times and stopped repairing his chainmail. He rubbed his stubble a bit and wiped his brown hair off his face. Dem wasn't very old, twenty-one or two at the oldest, but he looked a lot older right now for some reason.

Dem sighed, "I might not understand everything about you… but at least I know that you are so damn persistent. It's not some heroic story or anything. I killed a juvenile Wyrm with my old party six years ago. And it was just the finishing blow too… not like it even matters anyway."

"Why not? Isn't a Wyrm the cousin of a dragon? And most Wyrms are juvenile since they compete with each other. Adult Wyrms are rare after all. So shouldn't killing one be cause for celebration?" I asked.

Wyrms lacked the intelligence of dragons. They were dangerous monsters at a threat level of 150 the same as dungeons. They were more akin to giant serpents than winged dragons but they were still massive in size. Adult Wyrms were almost as legendary as dragons since nobody ever saw them.

"Because I had nobody to celebrate with. Killing that Wyrm cost me everything. My entire party died fighting that thing," Dem said with a mixture of anger and sadness.

"I see…" I trailed off.

But Dem continued, "You remember that situation I had you imagine? The grieving mother showing up at an adventurers guild wanting to avenge her child? That's what happened to me… to us."

Dem had a far-off look in his eyes as he began to recount his story, "My party was made up of some of my best friends from my village in Whieland. We had just ranked up to Topaz. And we felt invincible. But we were just a bunch of kids, barely even had hair on our chests. Sure enough, some crying mom comes in begging for somebody to kill the monster that killed her little boy. Us being the heroes we thought we were, we decided to go kill the monster, free of charge with no quest. We didn't know what we were getting ourselves into. We found the monster in a cave but by the time we realized we had just walked into a Wyrm nest, it was far too late. I could only watch as it instantly ate two of my friends for breakfast. I couldn't tell you how long we spent down there in that hell. I was the last survivor and the only reason I'm still alive is that another group of Sapphire adventures found me before I was killed. With their help I managed to kill the thing but… it didn't matter."

I listened closely to Dem's story. It was an unfortunate tale that plagued many people of this world. Especially young people seeking the dangerous life of being an adventurer.

Dem was suffering from survivor's guilt. Which is something I've witnessed plenty of times in my lives. I could tell him that it would all be okay and that his friends wouldn't want him to be down on himself like this but Dem didn't want to hear that from me. He wasn't crippled by this guilt, it seemed it was just a part of him. For the most part, it seems he has come to terms with it somewhat. He is just remembering a painful incident from the past. Something I'm all too familiar with.

I broke the awkward silence. "I understand. I've lost people close to me as well," I said solemnly.

"We should go to bed. The next village is only a few days away. We will rest there," Dem said quietly while putting away his chainmail and getting his sleeping equipment ready.

"Yeah, that would be for the best," I agreed.

Without speaking to each other the both of us prepared for bed. The night air was cold and I fell asleep easily. It was just the staying asleep part that was the hardest.