Chapter 42

"…I really was like a beggar." I realized weakly, looking back at the past.

Maybe it was much better to be the "fake princess" that I was now, than the old me I used to be.

"Don't think on it anymore, that's all in the past."

I jumped out of bed. At times like this, I had to move my body. Staying still only made my gloomy thoughts worse.

I put on a shawl and left my room. Taking a walk a outside around the mansion surely would clear my thoughts.

Just as I was going down the stairs across the hall…

"…My Lady."

…I happened to run into Pennel, the butler, who was coming down from upstairs. He called out to me with astonishment.

"Where are you going?"

"Outside the house."

"Are you going to East Hill to see the fireworks?"

"…East Hill?"

I asked, before remembering where it was. It was the small hill I had been taken to by Derek not long ago.

Penelope must have gone there to watch fireworks on the last day of the festival every year. I suddenly understood why the Duke asked about it in the dining room.

"No."

I shook my head straight away. I wasn't in a romantic enough mood to go all the way there just to see fireworks.

"Then where are you going to…"

"I'm bored."

Pennel's face twisted in confusion. It may have been quite incomprehensible to see an immature girl who had been predictable to a point suddenly change her attitude for no apparent reason.

But it didn't matter. A wicked woman was bound to act however she wanted on a whim.

"To celebrate the victory in war, the finale of this festival will be much bigger than last year. The fireworks will be everywhere."

I don't know why the butler was holding me back and telling me this story. It was very uncomfortable to face him because he was also at the luncheon earlier.

"Very good, well then…"

I brushed right past him.

"Lady Penelope."

I was once again stopped from going down the stairs because of the butler's urgent voice.

"…What?"

Already having stepped down a few steps, I stopped and looked up at him. The old butler hesitated for a moment before opening his mouth.

"…I'm on my way back from organizing the attic under the direction of the Duke."

"..."

"I was on my way to deliver the key to you."

"To me?"

I wondered why the butler was telling me this. The passage to the attic was at the end of the corridor on the third floor. So I had never been there since transmigrating here.

"Why?"

"…Didn't you often go up to the attic when you were young? When you first came to the dukedom, you loved to see the fireworks from the attic window."

"..."

"The Duke probably told me to clean up the attic because he remembered it."

"What are you going on about, Pennel?"

I cut off him coldly, then continued sarcastically.

"Surely I'm not in the position where I could go up there even if I wanted to. Thanks to a certain someone who doesn't like me approaching the third floor, I surely can't go anywhere near the attic."

"..."

Pennel shut his mouth. I wouldn't have normally been this aggressive but the butler had happened to catch me at a bad time. It mostly because he had stopped me who was on my way to try and calm my anger that had been amplified by the fact it closely overlapped with situation in the past.

The butler's forehead wrinkled leaving deep worrying lines.

"… Mrs. Donna was fired immediately. Miss."

His face darkened and he carefully opened his mouth again.

"The Duke was so angry that she was kicked out with only the clothes on her back and without a penny of severance pay."

"..."

"There is no worse punishment for this woman. Because she has been working at this duchy for such a long time, and because of her own arrogance, her family has fallen in status and she has made many enemies."

I opened my eyes wide at the unexpected news. Pennel calmly continued.

"Master Derek came forward and burned her employment contracts and letters of recommendation, so she won't be able to find a job in the aristocracy ever again."

"So? Do you want me to thank you?"

I blinked and asked back in a cold tone.

It was a little surprising, but it wasn't exactly a story I wanted to hear. Why wasn't this solved long ago before it had become so bad?

'What was with these late measures that Derek had taken? Last time when Emily was feeding me spoilt food, she was simply threatened to live quietly in some corner of the house.'

When I recalled Derek at that time, I felt this situation was even more pathetic. Too little too late.

"You don't have to give me the key. It's not really my attic anyway."

"The Duke was heartbroken by what happened. He seems quite concerned that you seem to be skipping meals."

So what do you want me to do? I stopped the words from spilling out of my throat and forced up the corners of my mouth.

"If I go down to the dining room and eat now, will my father feel better?"

"Princess."

It was then…

"Today was all my fault."

…the butler suddenly bowed deeply in front of me. My eyes went wide.

"I am the biggest at fault as I haven't been able to faithfully support you under the pretext of being busy. If you wish to punish me for my insolence, I'll take it quietly."

"..."

"But please my Lady…could you accept the Duke's sincerity?"

I looked at the butler, who was bowing before me, with a cynical glance.

"After leaving the dining room like that, the Duke thought a lot about how to make you feel better about what happened. Then he remembered that you liked going to the attic when you were young.

"You know it's very rare for him to withdraw an order once he's given it."

What the butler said was true. It had already been six years since he locked up all the doors on the third floor and banned Penelope from entering due to a small commotion that took place shortly after she was adopted.

But now he wants to withdraw his order. It must have really shocked him to see his abused foster daughter suddenly show her broken heart.

Pennel shuffled closer. Seeing me thoughtless and silent, must have given him hope that I would accept the Duke's gift.

"The Duke opened the third floor himself, and asked the attic to be arranged in a way that would please you. So please, my Lady…"

"..."

I looked at the butler with a blank face and didn't answer.

If it was really Penelope who was here now and not me, I'm sure she would have been so happy.

One of the humans who led the bullying on her had finally been fired and the family's attention was drawn to her true situation. How satisfying would this situation have been for the previous owner of this body, whom I had always felt sorry for?

But…

It was too late.

I wasn't Penelope.

Why didn't you do this for her at least once before I came into this body? If so, this stupid, pathetic little girl would have forgiven everything that had happened to her, unlike me.

'It's too late.'

At the moment, the butler's pupils, who found my face distorted in distress, expanded greatly.

"Oh, my Lady?"

The embarrassed man stood up straight with sadness.

"…Yes. How can I ignore my father's sincerity?""

Pennel quickly looked at my face, surprised by my sudden change of heart.

"I was just on my way out for a walk, so it wouldn't be a bad idea to go and have a look up there after a long time."

Pennel looked like he was going to cry. I quickly went back to my arrogant Penelope face and said,

"Take me to the attic."

*******

The Duke did not seem to have fully opened the third floor. Crossing the hallway, I noticed that a large two-door room was still tightly locked with a chain wrapped around it.

'That's the Female Lead's room, isn't it?

Penelope's room was pretty good, but the FL's room was clearly on another scale judging from the size of the doors. Apparently, that was not meant to be offensive or upsetting.

'I mean how can a real daughter and an adopted daughter be treated the same way? Everyone needs to know their place.'

As I passed in front of it, the butler observed me intensely. Of course, the expression on my face didn't show anything.

When I opened the small door at the end of the corridor on the third floor, a spiral stone staircase was revealed. It was likely an old turret built in preparation for an invasion, but it was much too poorly maintained to be used as such now.

"Be careful with the high stairs, my Lady."

Pennel warned me as he went up the stairs first. I grabbed my skirt and carefully followed.

The attic was situated at the top of an old, narrow stone tower.

'A secret place like this is definitely something kids would love.'

Pennel climbed and climbed the spiral stairs which seemed to have no end in sight. After a long time, the stairs stopped suddenly and a landing with an old door appeared.

The butler opened it up with familiarity and went inside. Before I entered, I honestly didn't have high expectations. The attic had been roughly made and was more recently used as a warehouse after all.

Oh.

But the place I entered was surprisingly welcoming. It was like a small study. One side of the attic was filled with books, and the other side had a cozy couch and a small fireplace.

There was a large, round window in the middle of the wall and through the open window a cool breeze came in and tickled the bridge of the nose.

"Do you like it, my Lady?"

The butler asked me with a satisfied face as I looked around.

"It's nice." I answered mildly.

"May I bring you some refreshments?"

"No thanks. I'd rather stay here alone until late evening."

"Of course you can. The Duke has already given permission for you to spend as much time as you want here."

I really liked it here. Feeling a little better, I spoke in a softer voice.

"Thank you for bringing me here Pennel."

"Don't mention it. Then make yourself comfortably, my Lady."

The butler bowed to me and left the attic down the stairs. I walked around slowly inside, looking around the quiet interior once again.

"…. Penelope was the one who deserved this."

It was comfortable and desolate. When Penelope was just adopted as the Duke's daughter, this place was perfect for a hated child to hide when she was having a hard time.

I walked to the front of the large open window and glanced out.

The Duke's land was very large and vast. As a result the city streets were not as visible as they were from the hill which I had followed Derek to the other day. Instead, the attic had a wonderful view of the endless sky and beautiful scenery as there were no buildings high enough from this vantage to block the view.

I took the blankets that covered the couch and dragged them to the bare floor flopping down in front of the window frame. The sun was setting outside the window. I watched as it set, staring blankly beyond the horizon, where the red glow from the sun seemed as if it was overflowing.

Clack- Suddenly, I heard a sound from behind my me.

"What….?"

~~~~~