Can't Ignore

"I can't directly look at people, even immortal beings, directly in the eyes."

Lilith still looked at him. However, even though the mask hid his face, she could tell by the tone of his voice how heavy it is to tell her this information.

"Because if I do look at them, Lilith... they'd die."

It was heavy on the Grim Reaper's tongue. As they stood in silence, Amon felt a little emotional as he decided to tell this to Lilith, who was once a little girl when he met her.

He knew that if he told her this when she was young, she wouldn't understand. The thought of Lilith understanding now is what makes it difficult for him to express himself because Lilith--he knew she's smart.

Amon didn't know why but maybe it's also because of the alcohol giving him this emotional feeling. With him being influenced by the wine, he wondered if it is a wise choice to be open about him and how he felt.

However, somehow, being beside this young lady even though they don't know each other well, gave him comfort that at least, he could tell her something and not feel judged.

How is it even possible that he even felt that way? He only talked to Lilith recently today--yet he can freely say what he wanted to say even though the words had not yet left his mouth?

Is this what it felt like--is this what people meant when they say that there are some strangers in your life that you know won't judge you?

Amon is close with Gregory, yes. Amon is close with the king, with his son, and with his adviser.

But to Lilith... why does he seem to trust her so much when he saved her as an infant, had not helped raise her, and only met her now?

It is indeed mysterious and unexplainable. It made the Grim Reaper think that maybe it is the fault of the alcohol.

But yet again, it is indeed his own fault since he was the one who decided to drink...

"Amon."

Lilith broke him out of his stupor when she called out to his name. With him now still looking at the painting, Lilith asked him a question. This time, her voice softer and gentler, no longer pushing him to share if he didn't want to.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Huh?"

The Gim Reaper turned to his side to look at Lilith. With their eyes locking with each other's even though he was wearing a mask, he felt scared that maybe on wrong move, he might hurt--rather kill Lilith.

He deeply wished she won't stare and drown further into her eyes.

Lilith... is just too mesmerizing and too beautiful especially when you look directly into hers.

"I know that this is a serious topic now. I'm sorry becaues I kept forcing you to answer my question and now I understand why you don't want to talk about it. It is heavy, isn't it?"

Amon couldn't believe it. Lilith also has an understanding side like this?

A scoff came out of the Grim Reaper, making Lilith blush as she knew why Amon reacted that way.

"C-come on... I can be caring, too, you know! I can also respect people's privacy, too, you know!"

"I know."

Amon then took a few steps closer to Lilith, now extending his hand towards her to give her one pat on the head.

Doing this gesture was uncalled for, making Lilith's heart race in her chest as she further listened to him talk.

"Thank you, Lilith."

Lilith didn't move. As she was subtly looking at him as she raised her head, her eyebrows knitted together in worry.

"So because of your mask... you can only have a limited view."

"Yes."

"And as a result, we only have a limited view of your face, too."

"That's right."

"But you're still cautious because you don't want to hurt them, right?"

Amon let out a chuckle. "You're smart. Indeed."

"But... to what extent are your powers if you don'd mind me asking?"

Hearing her quesiton, Amon withdrew his hand from her. With him letting out a sigh, he answered her anyway.

"If I look at people straight in the eye, especially when it is time for me to collect their souls, my powers get to choose if they will die peacefully, or if they are to suffer."

"Oh!" This immediately piqued the interest of the young lady. "What do you mean by that? Like your eyes have their death judgment?"

"Something like that," Amon answered, further explaining it to Lilith. "Put it simply: if you lived well, you get to have a peaceful death of your memories flashing before you--or your dreams. If you lived your life full of sins, then you're punished by getting insane until it kills you."

"Oof..." Lilith nodded approvingly, the young lady cupping her chin in between her index finger and thumb. "That is indeed awesome."

"Not really." Amon then turned to his side, leaned on the wall in between the paintings and stared nonchalantly on the couch before them. "It makes me cautious of being around people. It makes me want to avoid them. That is why I act this way."

At the same moment, Amon remembered his promise to Lilith's mother. He remembered right here and then the look of pain in her eyes as she gave her all in giving birth to Lilith.

He remembered how she screamed--he remembered how she gave every last ounce of her energy to Lilith.

Amon remembered how desperate her mother sounded, grabbing him by the hand and asking him to take care of her daughter.

22 years had passed... but he still remembered it as of yesterday.

"I'm sorry."

"Huh?"

Lilith didn't understand why Amon is suddenly apologizing to her. With Amon's voice now laced with sadness and at the same time what it seemed like guilt, he further explained what he was apologizing for.

"I didn't mean to keep you and make you feel like a prisoner. It's just that I can't ignore your mother's words. She asked me that favor of protecting you and raising you as if her life depended on it."