GROUNDED

25th March, 20??

Grounded.

Dear Dia,

My days just keeps getting better and better. If you are wondering what happened now, then I must tell you that I mean that ironically.

After my last entry, I tried to bid my time before dinner but dad won't hear any of it. His bellows suggested that if I didn't come down, he would have to come drag me down himself.

Left with no choice, I dragged my ass out of the privacy of my room. Descending the stairs, I was once again struck by the simplicity of the house, it's size and everything. Our former had been a single-family cottage built on private property but close to those of others like nosy-ass Mrs Jones. It had dormer windows, stone walls and a bigger, nicer relaxing porch. Whereas this one was a Italianate condominium, with it's low-pitched roof, wide eaves and painted wooden walls.

Even the interior was mostly wooden, as opposed to our marble floors and smooth stucco walls. It's like an average family house, though the yards are bigger than most.

I still don't know what happened to our former house, but considering that mom's things are here, that can only mean one thing… Dad sold it. And settled for this normal building in a normal neighborhood, in a quaint little town.

I was almost through with the stairs when Henry said,

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the most popular girl in town"

Dinner smelled great, I've got to give it to her, the bitch Felicia can cook. Something mom wasn't very good at, perhaps it was due to her condition, but we rarely ate homemade food. It was usually takeouts, pizza and anything orderable. I liked our lives then, how we would sit in front of the Tv, watching our favorite shows as we ate pizza or Chinese takeouts. Whenever she wasn't feeling well, we would eat in the dinning, she usually had cereals while I was free to order whatever.

The steaming inviting smell of pasta and meatballs hung in the air as I made my way to my seat pretending not to have heard Henry. We had a unique seating arrangement. Dad sat on the far end of the table, Felicia on the other, both facing each other. Henry and I sat on the sides, opposite each other and beside them. Dad was on my right and Felicia on my left.

I had thought I had no appetite, especially after the chocolate muffins, but looking at my steaming bowl of pasta, I salivated and my stomach grumbled. Thankfully, no one heard, since Henry was busy telling Dad how his day went and Felicia was listening eagerly.

Sometimes, I feel jealous of how close Henry and Dad had gotten, like he had always been his son. Who knows he might actually be, but until I can prove it, that will have to remain under wraps. We used to be like that. I may share a deep connection with mom, but dad was a great friend. He wasn't always around, but whenever he was, I was the center of his world.

Then, there were days that we wouldn't see him, but now it's weeks– months even. I was his precious jewel and he was Dad. With him, I felt special, loved and safe, but when mom's sickness started, he retreated from our lives and ceased to matter much to me.

Just watching the three of them, giggling and laughing. I felt totally alone. Henry was funny. I have found myself laughing in spite of myself in the past at his jokes, and now he was telling another as Dad and Felicia laughed out loud. They seemed happy and I… a stranger, an oddity to their perfect happy lives.

Dad said the grace with a voice still laced with laughter, and before we dived in, I heard Felicia ask,

"How are you doing today, dear?"

Why does she even care? I have never liked her, and she doesn't seem to take the hint. In an effort not to respond, I shoved forks of pasta into my mouth. It tasted just as good as it smelled; spicy, filling and delicious.

With the food in my mouth, she didn't inquire further… at least. Dad saw and heard but pretended not to, whereas Henry threw another query,

"Yeah, how is Miss Iconic doing?"

Seeing that I couldn't sidestep this one, not when everyone seemed to be waiting on my response, even as they pretended to be totally engrossed with their meal. And Henry's hint at something cause calling me popular twice in one night was unlike him. He knew something and wanted me to show a bit of interest before he would spill the tea.

Henry has always been like that, he's rarely angry. Always happy and cheerful, no matter how snappy or fun-ruining I am. I would have loved having him as a baby brother if mom had birthed him.

If civility was the price to pay for Henry to spill the beans, then so be it. Looking up from my plate, I said,

"I'm fine, but I doubt my birthday incident is enough to crown me 'Miss Popular'."

He smiled at my response, dad's shoulders relaxed and Felicia let out a breath, I doubt she knew she was even holding.

"You are right about that, but it's your last visitor at the hospital that has the town murmuring"

My raised eyelids were enough to get him talking,

"I swear it's true, your name is on everyone's lips, they no longer care about your birthday spectacle. They are more concerned about why Liam Denvers visited you and if you are to be his new girlfriend."

I almost choked on the glass of water I had on my lips. How news travel in this town? How could they even suggest something like that when it hasn't been up to six months since Liam broke up with Mia. Shrugging it off, I said,

"It's not even like that, he only came as a friend and said something about trying to help because he knew hospital was a trigger for me, especially after…" I swallowed the lump that rose in my throat at that and felt silence settle like a chill in the room before I continued,

"I don't know where people got that assumption, but we are just friends… can I even say that we are when we've spoken like what– two or three times?"

Henry gave me a look that said he doubted my words, and before I could emphasize more, he added,

"I don't know about that, but it's everywhere. It was even published on 'The Column' today, and it's all everyone could talk about at school today. People even cornered me to ask if I knew anything about it. Imagine that, a nerd like me being cornered. I guess I owe that to you. I don't know what it is but you have my full approval" he said, chucking down a meatball.

I laughed at that, genuinely surprised that this boy I have always been snappy at could want anything good for me. Could he be right though? Was I famous, that damn Josephine Boldface, couldn't she find something else to publish? Now I've been thrown into the spotlight with just a visit from Liam, what will happen if he continues to speak to me? Perhaps they would call us a couple.

Needing to extract every bit of information he had, I looked at him and said,

"That's so kind of you, but Liam and I aren't a thing – I doubt we'll ever be. Was it just months ago that he broke up with Mia, and he hardly looks at me when we pass in the hallway, so that's very unlikely"

Again he gave me that doubtful look before he spoke again,

"I doubt a guy visits a girl in the hospital just as friends. Besides, who's to say he wasn't smitten by you on your birthday with your gorgeous looks and all… if I can remember, weren't you guys speaking that day before I came to call you for cutting the cake"

He was making sense, but guys like Liam Denvers hardly fell for girls like me, not that I doubt myself, but I wasn't exactly a model like Mia Hover with her blonde hair, scarlet lips, perfectly arched brows, rosy cheeks and Barbie-doll body.

When he saw that I wasn't going to add anything, he added,

"Just be careful though, Mia is kinda territorial when it comes to Liam, no one who so much as receives a smirk from Liam gets away with it. The last girl he almost dated the last time they broke up had to transfer to another school after Mia and the Divas were done with her."

Before I could add that I didn't care, after all, Annabel Mace can take care of herself, his mom said,

"Yes dear, be wary of those monsters. They're behind your anaphylaxis and if she could do that just because you threatened her spot on number one with your birthday announcement, how much do you think she would go if you date her ex?"

I shot dad a look that clearly stated that he was mostly at fault. But how could Mia have known that I was allergic to vanilla? Only the people in the room and you, Dia, knew… oh wait, that stupid waiter at Jerry's place also knew. I will have to do something about his loose lips the next time I go there.

"I hope you know I would never do anything that will hurt or harm you in anyway…"

She reached for my hand then, and I don't know if it was the gesture or my civility running out, because I snapped, saying,

"I wish I could believe you, but I can't, not when you, waltzed your way into our lives and please can you stop the 'dear' crap, we both know I'm anything but that to you. Who knows, perhaps your intention was, with me out of the picture, you and dear Henry can inherit everything."

Her face drained of color at my sudden outburst, making her freckles stand out in her pale face. Henry's fork clattered noisily when I finished and dad was pissed. I could tell from the square set of his jaw and the way his teeth gritted. I didn't care, these people should be reminded of their place, lest they think a few polite lines were enough to be on my good graces.

"Forgive me dea… um… Annabel, I was merely trying…" She had started, but I couldn't let her finish.

"You were what exactly– trying to look out or protect me, because you are my mother or what?" Then with a voice cold and piercing, I tacked,

"The sooner you realize you can never be, the better"

That was it. I could tell I had gone too far. She had dropped her cutlery, raised her hands and opened her mouth to maybe rebuke me, but then, she settled back down. Shutting her eyes, she took a deep shuddering breath.

Henry kept silent, barely looking at me, but the expression on his face when he met my eye said it all, "I was just as monstrous as the Divas".

Dad, on the other hand, had dropped his cutlery and was dapping the napkin to his lips, he was about to stand when Felicia put out her hand towards him and said,

"Please, honey, not now. She didn't mean it like that… give her time… she will - she has to come around."

I knew firsthand of my dad's anger. He may never have struck me but through his actions I knew. Felicia maybe be scared, but I wasn't. I have waited a very long time for this. To see him snap, to put away that armor of everything's-fine bullshit.

I didn't even cower when he roared,

"No, I've had it with her whiny attitude. If she can't respect you, then she should at least respect me. I won't excuse her insolence anymore, she must be punished, I will have to…"

Scrapping my seat back with enough force to silence him, I stood and yelled,

"You will have to do what exactly, punish me because of these people… well go ahead. It's not like you still love me anyway, not when you practically stay away. Tell me, is it me?- do I remind you of her or do you hate that she left me for you, ruining this perfect family you had here?"

Dad froze at my words, he didn't even blink, he just stood there, his hand pointing at me– hanging limply in the air. With something close to a sob, he sagged back to his seat and with a voice barely audible, he said,

"Is that what you think? That I didn't love your mom, that I cheated on her with my secretary… that Henry- here, is my son. Y-Y-You really think I did that to her, to the woman I would have done anything for… to the woman who, even in death, still clutches my heart…" He sobbed then, ran his hands on his dark hair and looked at me with utmost disbelief before adding, "I suppose you don't really know me, neither did you learn anything living with us"

I felt my heart break by his words. My conscience gnawed at me, I felt the tears brimming, but I couldn't stop… I should have stopped… should have taken pity on him, but with Henry and Felicia looking at me like I was the monster, I had to add,

"How was I supposed to know when you married this woman, just three years after she died." He tried to say something then, but I never gave him the chance, as I continued,

"Don't even give me that crap about marrying her for me cause we know that's bull, and yeah, I think she would be happy knowing that you sold our house and obliterated her and everything about her from our lives… so much for your love for her" I finished with a snare and dashed for the stairs as dad rose and lunged at me.

Before I closed my door, I heard him yell,

"Silly child!, so that's what you think. Well, you are grounded for as long as it pleases me!!!. Foolish child, can you believe that…"

His voice trailed off as Felicia hushed and shooshed him. My door closed then, fading it all away.

I cried myself to sleep that night, clutching mom's letter to my heart, desperately wishing she was here.

Having never been grounded, I don't know what it means, just that since last night I haven't left my room. Not even after Felicia called and called after me to come down for breakfast. That was after Dad silenced her by telling her to let me starve. Perhaps that will teach me some respect.

He is stubborn, but you know what? So am I. We will know who will give in first, me or him. And with my plan to stay here, in this room all day without food, I doubt it will be the former. Just wait, he will come and apologize.

It's barely noon and already, my strength is dwindling and he hasn't come, so I must end this entry here and preserve my strength for my hunger strike.

Till when next we speak, bye Dia.