Chapter 4 - You are beautiful

LIFE TOOK NO NEW TURNS as months passed by, swirling in the same dark hole, except for one.

Nights still screamed deafening silences and mornings demanded escape from the house.

Afternoons still went busy with studies and college but evenings had a new cue added to them in the past two months. They were always vibrant but now the setting sun brought many colors new to Ashna's life. Colors, she is not so sure of the shades of.

A week after Ivan had sent her the following request, Ashna had replied to a story of his. It was nothing. On a similar night when she was lying down on her bed, scrolling through reels and stories of people, she came across his story, the first he posted in the past week.

She had realised he did not post enough, a minimal following list which only had either standup comedians or artists and people who she guessed were his best friends, and followers that were mainly men from their class or people from the school and others she knew not of.

The story was, "ask a question," and what had made Ashna ask one was the little note he had added, "keep it a 2 marks question only."

It had brought a smile to her face and she had asked, "What's 8-6?"

He had replied with "2" and a screenshot of his calculation in the phone calculator. "It was a really hard question, I had to use the calculator," he texted.

That was that only. But it brought a smile so wide on her face as her heart felt so happy for some reason.

Ashna, in the small of her mind, had wished for him to say something at least. After numerous replies they made on each other's stories, most of her replies which he only left after liking, this was the first time they talked over text.

She did not know Ivan and it won't be false to derive that she felt the urge to know him. That could be called the beginning of what can not be made sure of. What had some other shades than the violet Ashna had known for all her life.

Even she does not know how she went from that little unremarkable question to talking to him for a remarkable time every evening. Even when she had not seen him clearly for once, not after school at least.

She did not remember him the exact way he was in school; she never heard anything controversial or had any sort of remembrance of him.

Except for the PPT and that his little sister was really good at studies which his friends had said, maybe once or twice in the class.

She had not met him even now despite having talked over calls for about a month, every time the sun thought of vanishing. It was nothing, for all they had talked about was classmates, their studies, etc. Random old talk, but with him, she did not feel tiring to tell those things.

He was quite acceptable towards everything, even things which may seem a little odd to other people. They went from knowing each other as strangers to close friends to like they were best friends.

Life took them from stories to texts, to a point where they had started to wait for that little hi.

Their little chatters, which sometimes dragged on for an hour or so, had brought her to the realisation that he was introverted. And he did not judge; hell, he was the least judgemental person she ever knew.

It was also true that he was a man who cared less and so avoided little talks and stuff as much as he could. No specific reason. Maybe, disinterest. But specifically, because it just went like that for him.

And through the other things he spoke of, she knew he was not introverted to everyone. Not to his friends, and probably, not to her.

Things twisted into a spiral when one evening, their fun talks turned heated; they debated and challenged each other so many times, it was one of those times.

She does not remember what led to it but she had asked for his number. Ivan, whose phone number only very few people knew of, gave it to her easily. She doesn't know why, but her heart had pounded tremendously inside her.

It was a challenge so she knew she would call but she had never talked to a guy over the phone ever, if it were not friends and family, not like this atleast, and that was countable itself too. He was a friend, yeah, but with the chaos rotting her house, she knew he would not be accepted as one at the time. And something tugged at her always, he was a little different from other friends.

Ivan's heart pounded steadfast inside him as he was out for an evening walk in the ground, his steps falling smaller.

His palms were sweaty as the phone rang. A number flashed on his screen he had doubted would ever appear. His mind had gone blank for a second and another second, it debated so many things. Nervousness had never grabbed a hold of him as it did now.

He still can not believe how things had paced so quickly. He never had been on the verge of a woman, especially when that woman was Ashna, calling her.

They had chatted about so many things, some even a little personal, yet he knew it was casual. He knew it was sort of a friendship and he was acceptable about it. That was who Ivan was, he never expected a lot. But little did he know his life was going to make him wish for so much more. And he might not get all of it.

"Hello?" Ashna had said, a whisper which came out as a question. In return, she had only got silence. 'Hello'.

She spoke again, her voice firmer this time but she knew not the person on the other side had his heart thumping fast inside his chest. A second later, the same word echoed back to her, hoarser. And she had to swallow a gulp.

Three hellos and two nervous-pretending-confident lines of winning the challenge were all this first call was about. Maybe not Ivan but Ashna was surprised by her inability to talk over the phone with the guy she had chatted with so much for the past few weeks. It felt surreal to her.

He barely spoke many words but his voice left marks on her. She realised it for the first time, one can be moved by voices too, particularly when they sounded like his.

This was how they had gone from texts to calls. Like two people who have known each other in one universe only needing a little intro in another universe. They grew habitual and wishful of hearing each other's voices.

They still talked of school and those of its controversies, teachers and their romantic interests, friends and their relationships, crushes and dramas, dreams and passions, experiments and experiences, love, like, hate and little secrets.

She had answered his query about why she never dated anyone even when some of the guys had shown interest in her in the school itself. She had lied to this one and to so many of the other things he had asked her.

But to her, Ivan had only spoken the truth.

He had told her things and shared ideas, which he never did with anyone. When his new close friend pestered him about telling at least one woman he was ever attracted to, liked or felt anything for, basically a crush, he had no option left but to answer.

He had avoided the question all this time because he was unsure if she would take it nicely, or if she would judge. Unable to avoid this time, he marked, "you".

To hell the words would go if false that it did not cause Ashna's almost dead, yet thriving heart beat harder inside her chest.

She had remained silent, her grip tight on the cellphone as she held it to her ear, her eyes stuck at the moon shining alone in the starless sky as she leaned on the parapet of the terrace.

The night was filled with artificial lights glimmering from all the houses around.

No words could she say but with every word he spoke, Ashna felt goosebumps rise on her skin.

"Class ninth, your birthday, you were wearing that red– skirt or something —" he said, intrigued as if it was that same moment.

"Palazzo," Ashna corrected, swallowing a gulp down her throat, her eyes fixed at the moon coming out of the veil of the clouds.

"Hmm, it's nothing, just that—" Ivan tried to say.

"What?"

His voice turned heavier as he whispered, "You looked beautiful."

"You are beautiful." He completed.