Chapter 2 - An old friend

ASHNA LOVED HER SISTER even when she pretended not to. But she hated how this love of hers drove her crazy, how it painstakingly crushed her heart and how so helplessly she had to see her dear dear sister be dragged to the doors of doom.

To avoid this pain that chilled her to the bone even more than the moonless night winds did, Ashna had tried avoiding meeting her sister altogether. Especially at her house.

House, because a home it could hardly ever be called. That house could be the most perfectly bounded-up space in the area but it was just a cage of hearth and dearth.

As Ashna walked down the street, the chilly winds of the night sharp at her pale skin, she only thought of what must be going on in the place of deafening dead silences she had just left.

It's ironic how the place had so much silence to it when all its walls had absorbed screams. The night must be carving daggers.

Ashna's heart had wilted. Her eyes were aching and her legs only somehow kept her walking, taking her far from the darkness her sister must be getting scorched out of the little life she had left.

It's frightening how one never realises how much life there is until, little by little, all of it is snatched away.

Maybe Ivanya deserves it. Afterall, she was herself the deer which just needed to run when she had the capability to. She had rather chosen to look behind, again and again, until she succumbed to becoming the prey.

The predator is not faster than the prey but it's the prey which looks behind again and again, thus falling into the fire of doom.

Ashna wrapped her arms around her body as numerous voices screeched inside her head. All those times of pure apathy and fear playing in her mind on repeat.

Days when she had seen her sister lying almost dead, the time she saw her most beloved sister being beaten like an unworthy animal in front of her eyes and she had just stood there. Stood there like a mannequin.

All those times her home felt like hell, all those times she wished she was just dead.

As little steps took her ahead and she saw some people gulping booze down their throats as they walked at the other side in the opposite direction, in a way as if no worry touched them, she deliberated if she should try alcohol.

So that all the voices could go numb. But she could not ignore the little voice that screamed in her mind every time she thought of it, won't it make you the same as them? And more than anything, she was scared of herself. What if alcohol makes her the same as them?

Her head pounded.

Her body feeling numb with cold, she did not even realise that in a hurry, she had forgotten her coat at the house. At this moment, Ashna yearned to cry and she could not. Today was the worst.

Somedays are pushing like that. They scrap at everything which could hurt you. It was one of those days for Ashna.

"Ashna?" A man called from behind and as if a shock jerked her, Ashna breathed a sigh before turning towards the familiar voice. She could see nothing, no one, only a shadow. "Ashna?"

"Su-- subodh?" Ashna stuttered, her body shivering, unconsciously taking a step behind, even when he's already steps away. Her worried and severely scared heart raced inside her chest, anxiety gripping her body making her shiver.

Even she does not know why this name. She could not see him through the fog, she does not know it was him but her heart pangs inside. The voice seems so known, and fearfully close.

Her heart pounds faster inside her, close to bursting out of her. She silently wishes it's not him, it must not be him.

As the silent prayers repeat inside her mind, again and again, a twinkle of a tear rolls down the black hole of her left eye.

'When will it end?'

A solid figure, of a man, stumbles her shoulder from behind in a rush of a moment, spilling water he was holding in a cup over her, uttering embarrassing sorrys as he tries to stabilize himself. His body frame, wider and taller than hers. Stronger.

Pulled out of the mist, Ashna stares blankly at him intimidated, her cold chapped pink lips parting in a sigh of relief. He was tall, with eyes dark like hers but not empty.

Even if she could not make the shape of his face clearly, she could see him enough in the light of the stand post to know he had features perfectly carved and beautifully handsome. 'He seems familiar. Hot and familiar. '

Ashna tries to look at him clearly or simply that she could not pull her eyes off of him. She was in light enough to recognize him. But she did not.

"Ashna," a soft whisper leaves his mouth as if unsure of who he was looking at, both hands trembling as they hold the now half-filled cup in nervousness. He swallows, the little Adam's apple bobbing in his throat.

"Ivaaan!!" The same voice from before drags, moving forward towards the guy who spilled the water and who he is calling Ivan and Ashna. Ashna does not shudder this time but swallows a lump, pushing away those deafening screams in the back of her mind.

She looked towards the man in front of her whose hands, strong and rugged, were shaking. Looking at his trembling hands, she wondered if it was the cold but he had more layering of clothes than her.

"He's calling for you," she mumbles, her eyes stuck at his hands. Even when trembling, they had some beauty to them. Maybe the beauty lay in the tremor of those large, sculpted and rugged hands.

Ashna wondered if the hands of Shekhar ever trembled before he hit daggers of hurt at his wife.

"Yeah," Ivan tries speaking, his voice hoarse and hell, it comes out rattled. Tightening his grip around the cup, he drags his eyes from the little frame of the woman he recognises so well, and finds as alluring as always, even when she does not recognise him, to his friend Sashi.

"Ashna," Sashi, a medium tall guy of the same age as Ashna, calls with familiarity, forwarding his hand towards her and with the same pitch to his voice even when he is standing a step away from her now. An excited boy of ten he sounded like, when a twenty year old man he was in reality.

Ashna, who had not recognised this man half a minute ago, became familiar with him. A smile made way on her perched lips, eyes crunching along with the smile. "Sashii", she exclaims, grabbing his hand and shaking it in happiness.

A large smile covers Sashi's face, warmth pouring out of his eyes. It might have never occured to Ivan before but this time something pinches at his heart. Maybe hurt, maybe pain.

Maybe because she did not recognise him when he did. But he never cared enough about it ever before until her. However, when does a man care for air until he can't breathe?

He thrusts the cup in front of Sashi, spitting no word, nothing, surprising Ashna and Sashi a little. He walks away immediately, not even listening to Sashi when he says, "Hey, it's Ashna- the toperrr, don't ya remember her?"

Ashna's eyes follow his frame until it merges with the fog and becomes a receding shadow only. A weird feeling of emptiness binds her heart for seconds before leaving it hanging in a soft pain immediately. "Hey!" Sashi calls and she smiles back at him.

"What topper, fucker," she punches his arm, laughing as she says.

"Well, that is what you were!" Sashi teases cheekily.

"Who-" Ashna ponders to ask but Sashi, like a blabber he is and has been through their school days answers through a cute laugh, "Kapoor".

"What?" Ashna asks, confused yet amazed.

"I mean, Ivaan," Sashi explains.

"Ivaan," Ashna whispers as she remembers him, a soft little smile marking the way on her face. Ivan, his name repeats itself in her mind.

Though extremely less and blurred memories of him fill her brain. He was the same guy she had presented the PowerPoint with in the CCA house competition.

"Humble house?" she asks to confirm, or maybe just to hear again.

"Hmm, Ivaan, " Sashi says, "ya remember, the PPT competition?! You two were the same team." He winks at her, making Ashna chuckle as she nods at him, humming.

"He must've got a call," Sashi lies stupidly for Ivan literally was standing in front of her a minute back and he definitely did not get a call. "Don't mind him", he covers for his friend.

Ashna nods agreeing, nonetheless.

"You've got a call too?" She asks with a straight face, her words teasing.

He laughs, before throwing a, "No, no, nobody calls me!" joke her way.

"I have got a lot of time to chatter," he tells as he types a message to somebody until she knows who it is.

A second later, she sees a name 'Ivan' pops up on the screen and below it is a plain, "okay".

'The guy doesn't even say anything.'

Ashna's eyes were lit with the sparkle Sashi was emitting. He had not changed a bit. It seemed as if he had preserved in himself the same goofiness, same understanding for all this time, same jokes even.

He still called her toperr and annoyed her. He still covered for his friends and saved them, still getting wildly happy at little things, be it as simple as bumping into an old classmate.

And for a matter of fact she knows, he could still be deep in a pit of screwed up things like always and yet hold hope, at least more than she did.

"How's life for you?" Sashi nudges, wrapping a hand around her shoulder, a pretty smile on his chiseled face. He was only half-an inch or one taller than her, with a cheeky bearded face.

"Good," Ashna utters as she could not help but wonder, 'what happened to me?'

She forces a smile even when he is not looking at her face now. Some lies need to be kept to one's own self too.

Sashi holds her hand as he exclaims dramatically, "My God!! why ain't you wearing something above this!?" He lifts a corner of her shirt at the shoulder and leaves it down, as he exclaims dramatically, "women's fashion!"

Immediately jumping to the next thing, "let's eat ice cream! It just tastes better in the cold!!" he says, dragging her along with him, towards an ice cream seller at the side of the street.

A loud laugh leaves Ashna's mouth at his childishness and Sashi looks shocked at her. "What!?"

''Nothing," Ashna manages to blabber through the laugh as they head towards the ice cream trolley.

Maybe the night won't shoot any more daggers at her except the cold now.