Insight

Partying, something I would have thoroughly enjoyed back when I was human, now? I find it rather boorish, blood bags walk around and have the time of their lives, doing drugs and having sex. It is something I find mildly disturbing.

I guess that makes me, boorish, a buzz kill, a weirdo.

To that, I would delicately answer, I am just a vampire trying to survive in a world where there is a plethora of Gods running amok.

I don't have time for parties.

"Lucas! Do you know where your brother is?" Laurel asked me

"Laurel, find him yourself," I replied taking a sip of my drink and walking off

She annoys me thoroughly, it is the very act of ignorance that makes my cold blood heat up. Ignorance of others' feelings, ignorance of the undeniable truth, and ignorance of those around her.

Sarah willingly went on that trip, was it a deplorable act of lust that my brother invited her? Yes, but she still went.

Now that we are back she acts bipolar, one second furious over what Oliver did, the next sad for what Oliver went through.

Not like I was on the island or anything.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that she makes me angry, I don't like her, I could place her below Iris, but still, she is annoying.

I went out to the poolside, sat in a recliner, and drank my whisky. Dembe was beside me warding off all undesirable meat bags.

"Dembe, do you think the sun is evil?" I ask looking up at the entrancing beauty of the moon

I could feel the strange look I received, "no, why do you ask?"

I hummed in acknowledgment, "do you think you could change that opinion?" I asked a faint smile tugging at the corners of my lips

"Sir, if you are asking what I think you are, I would have to receive all facts and then asses my options," Dembe replied in a serious tone, in fact, I think this is the most I have heard him speak in a while

"Dembe, why must you be so serious?" I asked a slight chuckle escaping my lips

Dembe sighed and took a drink, "you know my history sir,"

That I did, Dembe Zuma a slave at one point in his life, he was then sold to someone in Gotham, mid transport Dembe escaped and killed all of his captors. He then disappeared for a while only to come back as a bodyguard.

It is like a mashup of his Blacklist origin and a new one, I find it fascinating.

"And yet I still don't know what you did in those blank years," I said whilst I heard my brother fighting upstairs

"I worked for a man," he answered vaguely

The mystery man, even in his memories I find this man to be clouded in a thick smog of illusions. Though I did make sure he is no longer loyal to the man before letting Dembe in more.

I didn't reply, I just steadily gazed upon the star-blanketed sky, feelings of nostalgia filled my mind.

-Flashback/ narrator pov -

Lucas sat on a rigged rock, dry heaving as if he was trying to make himself vomit.

"Hahhhhhh,"

"Gahhhhh,"

Tears trickled down his eyes, he had just torn through twenty men and drained them dry of blood, he couldn't believe what he had become.

He held a gun firmly in his hand, carefully he took the gun and pointed it at his head.

He couldn't pull the trigger.

He couldn't get rid of the constant screams assaulting his head, the constant illusions haunting his very being.

"Gahhhhhhahhhhhh!" he screamed incoherently into the sky, the stars filled his teary vision

'Monster!'

'Save me!'

'Demon!'

'Ahhhhh!'

The voices riveted throughout his head, never leaving him a moment of silence.

Blood so much blood, he remembers every time he drained the life out of a person.

"GAHHHH!" he screamed to the stars, courage filled him as he pulled the trigger

*click*

The gun was empty.

Hollow, just like Lucas's now blank, hollow eyes, the reflection of the stars was the only thing present.

-Flashback end-

My eyes felt watery, I was weak.

Pathetic.

But now I'm not, I'm strong.

I will never be weak.

"Lucas are you okay?" Thea's voice broke me away from my thoughts

I got up from my seat and straightened my outfit, "I'm fine Thea," I replied my tone was colder than I intended

I saw her step back away from me, she felt it, the primal sense of fear all humans feel when faced against a predator such as me.

I paid her no mind as I walked toward the door leading back into the house, the party was over and they were now removing Oliver's tracker.

"Lucas! Oliver has been proven innocent," Moira said with a bright smile

I nodded and continued to move upstairs, "I see that,"

Once in my room, I dropped onto my bed and covered my face with my arms.

The memories, they just won't go away. Thea was lucky I can restrain myself, I truly felt like I was back on that island.

I considered draining her blood.

My own sister.

"Dembe, start searching for houses. I think it's time to move out." I told him

"Yes sir," he replied and left my room

I have been meaning to move out for a while now, having my own place is an intelligent move, I don't have to worry about making excuses for where I have been nor do I have to sneak out.

This will allow me to have more freedom.

-Oliver Pov -

Once the cops left Thea entered the room, Walter, Mom, and her all looked at me. It was like they were waiting for an answer, an answer I don't have.

"What?" I asked breaking the tense silence

"What's wrong with Lucas?" Mom asked with concern

I didn't know how to answer her, Lucas and I might have been on the same island, but it was like we were worlds apart.

I remember they talked about him like he was a demon sent from hell. Even Slade was worried about running into him. The brother I came to the island with, is not the brother that is home.

Just like how I am no longer the Oliver from before, I still have nightmares, and I still sometimes, think I am on the island when I put on the hood.

I gave them a sad smile, a broken smile.

"We are still adjusting," I replied and got up

"I'm going to rest," I added and began to walk off leaving my family alone

-Lucas pov -

I stood at my window, the stars were still shining bright, how I longed to savor this sight, savor the stars.

But, like all things, life must continue.

My emotions were still high, I just wanted to kill something, to drain the blood of someone, to forget about my past life.

I was a collector of rare books, it was what I enjoyed, what I felt passionate about, and now I'm a killer, and my new passion is the delectable taste of blood.

It's funny, in my past life people would say how they wished they were the arrow; how cool he is, how cool the island is.

I even said it.

I regret even thinking of such a fate, the island changed me in so many ways, the island changed a book-loving nerd into a killing machine.

A man that views humans as blood bags.

A man that is broken in so many ways.

FUCK DC!

FUCK THE ISLAND.

I would do anything to go back, to wake up from this dream, BUT I CANT, I can't go back, I can't do anything to remedy what I am now.

So I won't.

I will take the Dc universe by storm, I will live my life like I want! I will take what I want! I will stop at nothing to reach the absolute peak of my existence!

I swiftly took a box from under my bed, opening the lid a gun sat gracefully on a cushion.

The same gun from that rock.

I picked up the gun and gazed into the stars, pointing it at my head I pulled the trigger, *CLICK!*

Like a switch, my emotions died down.

My shoulders relaxed.

My thoughts straightened out.

A smile graced my lips.

I'm back.

-end-

A/N: to the beginning of a journey, a journey that will not be filled with easy wins. I'm trying to show a level of trauma from what happened on the island, from where Lucas became cold, became uncaring of human life.

Lucas is probably my most complex Mc. I'm excited to begin showing more layers to him. This chapter was dedicated to showing more of my mc, I was rereading and I felt he lacked the certain spark that shows a realness to a character.