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DC: I am Batman

Adam, a regular guy, gets flung not just through time, but through dimensions, and BAM! He's the Caped Crusader himself. Except, he didn't sign up for the genius IQ, the ninja moves, or the whole "saving the world" gig. And the cherry on top? He gets Batman's powers and memories, but they're all from parallel universes. .......... Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the fanfic i was merely translating this.

LIl_wretch · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
75 Chs

Protective Abduction

"I've been prepared for this."

Penguin listened as Batman spoke:

"The Joker and Scarecrow teamed up to kidnap Mayor Carlo, but their partnership fell apart and they turned on each other. When Scarecrow was beaten senseless by the Joker, Mayor Carlo broke free from the fear toxin's control and has since returned home safely."

"Although he's now suffering from neurasthenia and coulrophobia," Robin added from his nearby chair.

"However, based on my understanding of Scarecrow, he won't give up so easily."

Penguin recognized the familiar calm analysis of Batman - cold, calculating, like a machine, yet possessing an intimate knowledge of the villains' psyches, able to anticipate their every move.

This was the Batman he both feared and respected.

"We have to... have to..."

"Ding-da-da-ding-da..." Batman turned and barked at Harley Quinn, "Harley, if you play that music one more time, I'm throwing you out of the Batcave!!!"

Poison Ivy gave chase as Harley shrieked and ran, the two women dissolving into a chaotic squabble. Penguin barely maintained his composure.

"Therefore, I predict Scarecrow will attempt to recapture Mayor Carlo." Adam continued, "Scarecrow is an egotistical criminal, obsessed with fear. For him, fear that isn't maximized is imperfect."

"To brew the perfect cauldron of fear, Mayor Carlo, as the city's figurehead, is an essential ingredient."

"Especially since he's tasted this ingredient before, his pursuit of perfect fear won't allow him to tolerate a scenario without Mayor Carlo. Even with weapons capable of threatening Gotham, he'll still crave a more complete terror at any cost. It's the inevitable consequence of his mental illness."

Penguin heard Batman's voice again: "As you know, Scarecrow may possess another weapon that could pose an even greater threat to Gotham - we initially suspected him of stealing your nuclear device."

Adam presented Tim's analysis report to Penguin: "Scarecrow has both the capability and the motive."

Penguin recalled Scarecrow's silent appearance behind him, confirming Batman's suspicions. In Gotham, few could resist Scarecrow's fear toxin, and his talent for instilling terror granted him unparalleled skill in torture. If anyone in Gotham knew the nuclear device's secrets, Scarecrow was a prime suspect.

But he still didn't understand Batman's plan. "So... Crane will try to capture Mayor Carlo, and you'll set a trap at his house. But why involve me?"

"Well, while Scarecrow is deranged, he's not stupid. If we can anticipate this, we can't rule out the possibility that he's already guessed our intentions."

Penguin saw Batman cough lightly: "Therefore, if we simply set a trap at Mayor Carlo's house, Scarecrow might not take the bait. He could take a roundabout approach, forcing us to divert resources to protect other targets, and then strike when we're vulnerable, kidnapping Mayor Carlo when we least expect it."

"So...?" Penguin still couldn't grasp the crux of Batman's plan.

"So, to prevent Scarecrow from snatching Mayor Hill, we snatch him first."

"Wha–?" Penguin stared, dumbfounded, as Batman whisked away Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, who'd been frolicking on the sofa. With a flourish, Batman pulled out a massive drawer from beneath the furniture.

Penguin slapped his forehead. Inside the drawer was a bound and gagged man, Mayor Carlo. The poor mayor's eyes were squeezed shut, a tear track staining his cheek. He'd barely escaped Joker and Scarecrow, only to end up here.

"You've outdone yourself, Bats," Penguin muttered.

"Therefore, we need someone Scarecrow trusts implicitly. This person will claim to have Mayor, offer him as bait, and lure Scarecrow out."

The gears clicked in Penguin's mind. "You mean me."

Batman nodded. "Precisely. And given Professor Strange persuasive talents, we must anticipate he has other allies."

Batman led Penguin to a nearby cabinet, pulling out a bottle of murky yellow liquid. "A mud-softening solvent, specifically for Clayface. Once Basil ingests this, he'll be as pliable as pudding."

Next came a USB drive. "A virus tailored for Victor Fries' cryogenic suit. Get it close, it'll hack his systems and turn him into a boiled lobster."

Penguin shuddered, imagining Mr. Freeze's agonized cries. This was devious.

"A nuclear magnetic jammer for Garfield Lynns. This'll disable his flamethrower and armor, causing a spectacular malfunction."

Batman continued, "It'll also disable his flight systems. He'll plummet like a stone. Use it before he takes off."

"Sodium hydroxide solution. Highly alkaline, reacts with phosphorus to create phosphine gas. This much will make Dr. Phosphorus very, very ill."

"This serum? For Dr. Kirk Langstrom. One dose temporarily reverts him from Man-Bat to man."

Penguin's head spun as Batman gleefully revealed his arsenal of villain-disabling gadgets. The man was positively giddy.

"So, Oswald. Are you in?"

Batman's eyes gleamed. Penguin felt the weight of a dozen stares, like a pack of predators surrounding their prey.

He raised his hands. "Alright, Bats. I'm in."