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DC: I am Batman

Adam, a regular guy, gets flung not just through time, but through dimensions, and BAM! He's the Caped Crusader himself. Except... he didn't sign up for the genius IQ, the ninja moves, or the whole "saving the world" gig. And the cherry on top? He gets Batman's powers and memories, but they're all from parallel universes. Talk about a batty situation! .......... Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the fanfic i was merely translating this. ---This is a Translation--- Original Author: Mr. Bone Frame

LIl_wretch · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
42 Chs

Laughing Gas

Inside the National Guard Operations Command Room, Mayor Carlo sat frozen in terror. "Scarecrow..." he managed to croak. The Joker looked at Scarecrow with a mix of surprise and glee.

"Well, well, well! What a delightful surprise!" 

Scarecrow floated down from the windowsill, his tall, thin frame moving with unexpected agility. "I'm offended, Joker," he said in a raspy voice, "that you would seek out amateurs in the realm of fear." 

"You mean you, master? Of course," the Joker replied, spreading his hands with a childlike expression that belied his sinister intent. "But I thought perhaps I could control Cornelius Stirk, hmm?" 

"How misguided you are. A poor choice, Joker," Scarecrow's voice sharpened beneath his mask. "This displeases me. In fact, I'm tempted to give you a dose of my fear toxin."

"By all means, Scarecrow. I'm sure I'd find the experience... interesting. Ahahahahahahaha!" Scarecrow stared at the Joker in silence. The tense standoff lasted for a few agonizing seconds, during which Mayor Carlo, the only bystander, felt his heart pounding in his chest. Finally, Scarecrow spoke. "I propose we replace Scott—but this time, as equal partners. No one controls anyone."

The door creaked open, and Cornelius Stirk, the Ogre, entered. "Damn it! Scarecrow!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here?" 

"Stirk!" the Joker greeted him with a schoolgirl's enthusiasm. "Where's Captain Steve? The one I 

asked you to kidnap?" 

"Here," the Ogre replied, pulling out a large chunk of red flesh from his bag, along with other messy bits, and consuming them in front of the Joker without a second thought. Between bites, he mumbled, "That captain... adrenaline was delicious... a bubbly, delectable stress hormone, perfect for an organic fear stew."

"No, you idiot!" the Joker shrieked, grabbing his own hair in frustration. "You illiterate oaf! You were supposed to kidnap him, not eat him!" He slapped his own ears. "Damn it! I shouldn't have used Scott. He's too unstable. But then again, so am I! Ahahahaha! Lunatics belong together—who better to collaborate with than another lunatic?" 

The Joker composed himself. "No one else saw you kill Steve, did they?" 

"Uh... of course not!" the Ogre mumbled through a mouthful of food. "I hypnotized the guards on my way in. No one knows he's dead. Even if he is, our plan won't be affected." 

"Fine, fine," the Joker sighed, rubbing his temples. "We'll work with what we have." He scratched his head frantically. "I'm so thirsty! Stirk, hand me that glass of water on the table behind you." 

The Joker took the water from the Ogre, gulped it down, and then hissed in satisfaction. Scarecrow, who had been ignored for far too long, finally spoke up. "So, Joker, about our—" 

Crack! 

The Joker smashed the glass on the table, and in a split second, all the shards were embedded in the Ogre's throat. "Gah! You... you..." The Ogre barely had time to react. He fumbled for a blade in his pocket but collapsed before he could stand. 

The Joker lunged forward, drawing his own dagger, and straddled the convulsing Ogre. He stabbed him repeatedly, screaming, "Screw you, you worthless piece of trash! Waste of space!" Blood mingled with the half-eaten food, making it look like a gruesomely rare steak. The Joker finally stopped when the Ogre's body went limp, then wiped the blood from his face with his sleeve. 

"Well then," he said, offering a mocking bow. "Scarecrow, my dearest friend, it's time to show us what you're truly capable of." Scarecrow remained silent for a moment, then swiftly strode over the Ogre's corpse and walked towards the mayor. Without a word, he aimed his skull-shaped sprayer and released a cloud of mist directly onto Mayor Carlo's face. 

"No! Impossible! This can't be happening!" Mayor Carlo's eyes bulged, the chemical stimulant causing them to redden. "It's a nightmare... It's not real!" 

"Oh, but we're very real, Mr. Mayor. Super real," the Joker cackled. "If your guards could still talk, they'd vouch for us!" 

"No, no, it's poison!" 

"Poison? What do you see, Mr. Mayor? What's your greatest fear?" 

"Spiders? Snakes?" 

"Rotten sushi?" 

"No, no!" Mayor Carlo trembled under the influence of the fear toxin, like a helpless infant. "Snakes... snakes are... poisonous!" 

Scarecrow leaned closer. Mayor Carlo watched in horror as two venomous snakes slithered from his eye sockets, but Scarecrow acted as if he saw nothing. The Scarecrow's whisper filled his ears: "Snakes, Mr. Mayor. Pythons, vipers. Their flicking tongues taste the soft flesh of your throat, just before they sink in their hooked... hollow..." 

"Fangs!" Mayor Carlo whimpered. "Please... I beg you, what do you want?" 

"Well, Mayor Carlo," the Joker purred, "it's time to use your influence. Dance for us under the fiber optic lights, and bring this dreary city to its knees!" He laughed maniacally, like a child revealing the punchline to a joke. The despair, anger, and fear, followed by the helpless acceptance on the mayor's face, was his ultimate reward. 

"In addition to sending all twenty thousand of your men to the battlefield, I have a special gift for 

Bane—a little laughing gas, as a token of my appreciation for stealing Batman's attention!" 

..... 

Battered, bruised, and with a broken rib, Bane was nearly exhausted. He had never felt so weak, so vulnerable. But he was not dead yet. He looked down at the ever-increasing number of enemies swarming towards him. "Venom injection... maximum dosage." 

"Initiate."