Batman and The Joker

On his way there, the Joker envisioned countless scenarios of Batman's trap.

He knew Batman might be waiting for him at the address on the paper.

And what had he done? Nothing.

No hostages, no cackling piranhas, not even a bomb ready to explode.

He hadn't even killed anyone for the Bat!

He should have been standing amidst a sea of grinning corpses, applauding Batman's late arrival, offering Gotham's most beloved darling his daily greetings, then spraying him with acid corsages or hurling clown explosives, like a girl in love offering her lover a kiss.

Then his Bat would give him his favorite hard slap in the face, like a lover lovingly pinching a girl's delicate nose, and then send him to Arkham with a satisfying beating.

Maybe he would get some roses (beaten to the point of vomiting blood), a few kisses (a few broken ribs), or a climax that nearly strangled him to death.

But none of that was happening. No explosives, no hostages. It was like fast-forwarding to the end of a wonderful night, skipping the movie, candlelight dinner, romantic date, and fireworks, and going straight to the two of them sitting on the bed, staring at each other.

But it didn't matter, did it? Because this is what Batman wanted.

Mayor Carol was just a tattered dress. No matter how he (or she?) wore it, he couldn't seduce Batman.

So this dress was a failure.

The girl's heart was filled with anxiety. She felt her lover's love slipping away, unsure how to save it.

If even Mayor Carol's hollow black silk rabbit ear miniskirt couldn't seduce her lover, could hostages or explosives, candlelight dinners, or wedding wine win his favor?

But there wasn't time to plan a grand display like releasing laughing gas in the city center or reservoir, or blowing up buildings.

Oh, and Bane, that little minx, huh? A hateful third party, but she was a generous person. She wouldn't rush over and scratch her rival's face. She restrained herself. That would ruin her lover's mood.

Oh, so now the pale-skinned girl was a little entangled again, she felt that she seemed a little cheap, like those people waiting for business on the street, Batman waved and sent them up, without any reserve and shame.

But who could blame him for hating Batman?

The Joker couldn't stand being ignored by Batman, couldn't tolerate Gordon or those dull cops sullying his reputation.

So... if Batman wouldn't come to him, he would bring himself to Batman's doorstep, even if it meant looking foolish.

Even a cruel visit was better than the slightest hint of disregard.

And then... this.

"No."

The Joker stumbled backward.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

"No... no no no NO!"

The Joker lunged towards Adam. Adam didn't flinch. He saw this wasn't a hysterical outburst, but a desperate grasp for something familiar.

"Who are you? What are you? Give me back my Bats!"

"Ha-hahahahaha~"

"Don't you get it? I'm Batman."

Silver-white particles shimmered, and for a fleeting moment, the Joker saw Batman's face emerge, then vanish.

"You..."

The Joker reeled as if slapped. He watched as the pale figure with purple hair raised a crowbar high, raining blows down upon him.

There was no affection like Batman's, only cold, soul-piercing malice.

The comfort was gone, replaced by a deep, agonizing ache.

He felt Batman grab his collar, yanking him up. He was dragged across the room, helpless in Batman's grasp.

The Joker watched as Batman, or rather the pale monstrosity Batman had become, opened a wooden chest in the corner.

"A Batman costume?" The Joker muttered, "Oh, dear God."

His tone was flat and calm, his mouth downturned. Even though the scar at the corner of his mouth made him look grotesque in such a composed expression, the Joker didn't care. He heard Batman emit a twisted laugh.

"Hahahahaha—" A chill ran down the Joker's spine. He had never imagined his beloved's familiar laughter could sound so menacing.

"I've been thinking, Joker."

"Tell me, what is winning?"

The Joker listened as the pale monster Batman had transformed into cackled madly: "Let's cut to the chase, shall we? Black little heart, beating, beating, beating, why didn't I kill you?"

Then his head shifted back into Batman's, bathed in a silver-white light. The iconic bat cowl with its pointed ears sat atop the purple suit body, a mockery of everything they once stood for.

Even in Gotham's darkest nightmares, even in the Joker's twisted mind, such a horrifying sight had never been conjured.

"Because that way you win."

Batman's voice was low and gravelly, his beloved's call now raspy and twisted. He lowered his head, his face contorted in a grotesque imitation of compassion.

"Batman, it's you! What happened? What's wrong..."

"I... I can't control myself..."

"No, no! Honey, I'm here... Batman, you can't be defeated, you won't—"

The Joker reached out a trembling hand, his fingers gnarled and twisted from the brutal beating, resembling a mangled pretzel stick.

But the Joker felt no pain. As long as Batman was there, no matter what predicament he was in, Batman would always win, Batman would always triumph over him, over anyone!

He trembled, wanting to touch Batman's cheek, but only managed to brush against the upturned corner of his mouth.

In the next instant, Batman's voice dissolved into hysterical laughter.

"Ha, ha, he, hahahahahahahahaha—"

The raspy laughter grew and warped, as if choking him. The Joker watched as Batman's mouth split open, revealing a pale face beneath the cowl, mirroring his own.

"No! No!"

The Joker screamed in terror, nearly retching.

The pale monstrosity began to dress him in the Batman costume. Batman, his lower face now stark white beneath the mask, continued speaking, the upper half of his face flickering back to its pale state in the silvery light:

"Hahaha, I love that answer! That way you win, and I win! But it's different, you know? It's different. Now, this is how I win, little Bat, and I'm going to keep winning."

"You just said you didn't do it because it would make me win. That's the story you tell yourself, and everyone else, because you can't face the truth – and the old slippery slope excuse, am I right?"

"Batman kills the Joker, and then suddenly, who knows, what's to stop Batman from killing all the bad guys and going completely off the deep end?"

The Joker watched the pale monstrosity and grinned. "But I think that's a load of bull, Batsy."

The pale creature had meticulously dressed the Joker in a Batman suit, piece by piece, until half his pale face was hidden behind the dark cowl.

With a flash of silver-white light, the monster morphed back into the semblance of Batman, clad in the Batsuit, complete with pointed ears – well, almost. The face beneath the mask remained pale, with a mouth stretched into a grotesque grin.

Now, the two were nearly identical – pale figures adorned in Batman's garb.

"I mean, do you honestly think you couldn't just kill me, the Joker, and then stop? No one would know. You could find a secluded spot, do it in the dark. You could handle it, couldn't you? Afterward, just say something like, 'Oh, poor Joker, I knew him'?"

"No!" Batman cried out, "I would never do that!"

His Batsuit and cowl shimmered in the darkness.

Then, in an instant, it all vanished.

The hysterical laughter, the upturned mouth, the bright red teeth, and the vicious eyes were gone.

The Joker heard Batman plead, "You... you have to help me... I can't hold him back for much longer."

The Joker's neck was released, and he stumbled back, standing bewildered.

He touched his own cowl and cape.

"It's over there... the crimson cabinet in the corner... you have to go in and crawl inside!"

He heard Batman's desperate voice, "You have to go in, so you can change me back!"

.....

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