Ch. 17 – Blurred Lines

Chapter Seventeen – Blurred Lines

Grime and sweat. Under other circumstances, Hudson would've understood the appeal. As one of the young models wrapped his arms around a large rusty vertical pipe and looked at him, only his eyes visible over his shoulder, the rest of his face concealed, Hudson adjusted the lens on his camera, focusing on the erotic aspect of the display. The young man's penis was hidden from view, so that the enticing curve of his behind along with the keen look in his eyes were the focus of the picture. Those were all his artistic inputs, and so far, they had been acceptable to Watkins who, no matter what Jackie believed, wasn't the big boss. The evil mastermind behind it all was the mysterious man with a metallic voice that Jasper had overheard that time. According to his research, Hudson thought the man must have undergone a total laryngectomy surgical intervention and now talked only by means of an electrolarynx. The only good thing he could surmise was that he would be able to identify the man easily if they ever met.

And he hoped that they would meet only so that he could put him behind bars forever. That is unless he felt too tempted to wrap his hands around the man's throat and make sure he'd never talk or breathe again. Such dark thoughts veiled his mind as he continued to snap picture after picture.

"What are you doing?" One of the models had crawled on his hands and knees so that his head was now disappearing into the mouth of the large hearth at the base of the blast furnace.

The guy pulled his head out and stared at him. "The boss said that we need to show some initiative. That you're way too vanilla for the hardcore stuff."

Hudson balanced the camera in his hand. "You don't say," he said dryly. "And what's that supposed to mean? Do you think you're sexy if only your butt is sticking out of there?"

The young man glared at him, annoyed at being called out for his lack of imagination. "The boss said that he'd like to see some headless shots."

Hudson turned on his heel and put his camera back in his case. "I think we're done here," he said snappily.

That seemed to send the would-be model into a different state than earlier. "Come on, man," he whined, "I didn't mean anything by it. It's just that he said everything I just told you, and I'm on trial, so I don't know if I'll make it to the final selection and stuff."

For his sake, it would be good if he didn't make it to the final selection. However, Hudson couldn't risk another Jasper incident, not right now. The chances were that Watkins's long arm would be able to reach these boys no matter how far they ran. The only way to ensure all these guys' safety was by cutting that long arm off, figuratively speaking. 

"Looking to stand out?" he asked the young man.

The other nodded eagerly.

"You and him," he said and pointed to another guy. "Sixty-nine. Now."

If Watkins wanted headless shots, he needed to be a man – an evil one – about it and tell it to his face.

***

Jackie was picking something from under his fingernails and seemed engrossed in this grooming activity. He raised his eyes and stared at Hudson. "Did you say something, man?"

"We're done here. Ready to roll?"

"Yeah." Jackie looked at the group of young men, who were now engaged in various stages of different sex acts. 

Apparently, Hudson thought with wry humor, he did have something of a pornographic artist in him. By stimulating the models at hand to ensure that the pictures he took were as erotic as possible, it appeared that he had managed to stimulate other bits of them in the process, too. He could bet an arm and a leg that Watkins wouldn't be too pleased with his shots, but the asshole needed to show his hand even if it meant that he'd have to guide Hudson through it like he had only half a brain. 

"Damn, I think I need to get out of here before I do something I regret," Jackie said and grabbed his crotch with a hiss.

"If you want to get freaky, you can stay," Hudson suggested. 

"Nah, I mean, I thought about it, and no way."

The change in attitude surprised Hudson. "Why?"

Jackie winced. "Look at you, man. You have a boyfriend. I bet it's not because you like to fool around. And I need to be a guy with standards now. For Otis."

"What about those itches in your britches?" Hudson reminded him.

Jackie sighed. "I guess I can settle for my own hand for a while. I bet that guy's a blast in bed. The quiet ones always are. But they're so hard to catch. So, let's roll." He made quick work of calling the guys in charge of chauffeuring the models around.

Hudson touched the bottom of his case, pretending that a few of the things he had stashed in there haphazardly didn't fit properly, but Jackie didn't throw one strange look in his direction, his eyes gliding over his moves without registering anything.

Watkins had sent his gorillas to do his dirty work. Jackie couldn't have been on the team to search his apartment the night before. That was good to know. However, the way Jackie continued to yap his mouth about Otis was getting on his nerves, and he needed to control himself for the sake of the investigation. One way or another, there was a high probability that Jackie would find out about him and Otis, and managing the shitshow that would surely go down as soon as that happened was not something he looked forward to.

"Is this Otis of yours single?" he asked as they made their way back to the car, leaving the others behind.

"Yeah, he's single. What kind of question is that?" Jackie bristled as if he had just been poked with a sharp instrument. 

"A guy as awesome as he is," Hudson continued, "there's no way others haven't seen him, too."

"I saw him first," Jackie said, petulant like a child. 

"Just saying, man. I mean, prepare for disappointment, and it won't hurt that much."

Jackie stared at him over the roof of the car just before climbing inside. "You know what, Vegas? You can really be an asshole when you want to be. No, Otis is single. I asked him out. He keeps saying he can't date 'cause he has like online classes or some stuff like that and he's busy in the evenings."

"Maybe he can't date because he has a guy he's seeing," Hudson said with a thin smile. Why was he enjoying seeing Jackie squirm so much? It wasn't like him to be a sadist. That part about getting a hold of himself was turning truer and truer. He'd have to start on it and preferably, as soon as possible. 

"He's not seeing anyone," Jackie mumbled morosely and got into the car, making sure to slam the door on his side loud enough to make a point.

***

"Do you think I could make this using a crockpot?" Otis asked, pointing at an item on their menu. Since their manager allowed them to have some of the food made in the kitchen, he knew that dish to be very good. Sure, he could take some of it home and serve it to his neighbor, but he had made a promise to cook, and that he had to do.

Missy shrugged. "I have no idea. Do you have a crockpot?"

"Yes, a small one. It's energy efficient and came with non-stick coating," he explained. 

"I've heard that you can make basically everything in one of those. Ask the cook for some tips, and there you go." Missy smiled broadly and nudged Otis in the ribs playfully. "Don't tell me you want to put some meat on those bones for the sake of your temporary boyfriend."

A remark like that would have hurt him in the past because it reminded him that he was skinny and therefore, not very appealing for men who wanted to have sex with him. If they wanted that in the first place. However, he had two reasons why his thoughts didn't immediately take him there. One, Missy was his friend, and she would never hurt him, not on purpose at least, and two, Hudson already wanted to have sex with him and didn't appear bothered by his skinny self at all.

"No, that is not my purpose. But I promised my boyfriend," he said and giggled, because it sounded so funny to say words like that, "that I would cook for him."

"Wow, you're looking to get married," Missy teased him, and her eyes laughed along with her mouth. "And you're coming to me for advice when it's clear as day that you don't need no help."

That made him very happy. It meant that he was on the right path to make Hudson see that he was indispensable. The temporary position would soon turn into a permanent one, no question about it. Well, he did have questions, but that was how that expression went, and he liked it.

***

"Jackie's here. Do you want to take his order?" Missy asked. "Be careful when you tell him you got yourself a boyfriend."

"Careful in what way?" Otis asked, filled with curiosity. He was always as careful as he could possibly be, especially around other people. 

"You're going to break his heart," Missy explained and caressed his cheek briefly. 

"I don't want to do that," Otis replied. The idea of breaking plates horrified him enough; breaking people's hearts would be too much for him to bear.

"You know, at first, I thought he only wanted to get into your pants," Missy said with a pensive look on her face. "I mean, he's a bit of a city slicker, with that attitude, flaunting his money and everything. But no one is this persistent when he's told 'no' over and over again. He really likes you."

Otis felt his chest squeezing in on itself briefly. How was he supposed to get through such a thing? Never before had he thought about needing to learn how to… what? Reject someone? The concept was completely alien to him. He had only thought of learning about how to handle rejection from various self-help books that hadn't proven very helpful in the end. Could he recommend one of those to Jackie, seeing that he was bound to make a mistake when handling this situation, based on his lack of knowledge? But those weren't very good recommendations, now that he thought about it properly.

"Hey, where did you go?" Missy asked, staring at him and looking a bit concerned. 

"Do you think that recommending a good self-help book to Jackie on how to handle rejection would help?"

Missy laughed and shook her head. "Let's not go that far. I don't think he's going to need therapy over such a thing. And I bet that it wouldn't be the first time in his life he has gotten told that. Still, since I've seen that he isn't such a bad guy, let's figure out a way to get him to understand that you still like him, only not as boyfriend material. What do you say?"

He wasn't very sure he did like Jackie. He didn't dislike him, and in terms of like, he could only think of Hudson as a man he liked very much. He liked Missy as a friend, but Jackie had put it out there that he had an interest in him, and now that he thought about it, that thing had acted as an obstacle in the way of their becoming friends.

"I think I know, Missy. I will tell him that I would like him as a friend."

"That's always a good idea, but you know that, when people say things like 'let's stay friends', they usually don't mean it."

"That's a dishonest thing to say then. But it wouldn't be in my case. I will tell him the truth."

"Oh, you really mean it," Missy said. "It shouldn't be that big of a surprise with you. You are honest to a fault. Then, that is what you should tell him. The truth. And if he doesn't like it, that's too bad, but that's life." She shrugged, although she still seemed to be a bit concerned.

Otis felt compelled to ask. "Do you pity Jackie? Because I have to tell him about my boyfriend?"

"A little, maybe. But it's so easy for him, with those big eyes that look at you like a kicked puppy. And I bet that act has worked for him countless times. He's going to try it with you." Missy wagged a finger at him, to get his attention. She already grasped the situation fully. "There is one thing you should leave out, however."

"What is that?"

"Don't tell him that your neighbor is your temporary boyfriend."

"But I don't intend to lie to him."

Missy waved impatiently. "Just leave the word 'temporary' out. It's only going to make him think that he still has a chance with you, and that would be cruel on your part. Also, with your techniques, that sexy bad boy will be yours forever."

Forever. What a nice thought. Otis smiled as his chest expanded again to its normal size. 

"Now go and get the menu to him. I've noticed that he eats everything. Not a fussy boy, and also, he really does come here for the food."

Otis nodded and took the menu Missy offered to him. What a strange and upsetting feeling, to be the person to refuse someone else. Life was, indeed, full of surprises, and not all of them were pleasant. But that was how life was, his grandma had used to say. Not all bad, not all good. But you could choose which moments mattered the most.

***

As soon as he saw him, Jackie's face lit up with a big smile. "Hey, Otis," he said and winked at him. "You sure took your sweet time. I thought you were going to leave me here to starve."

"I am terribly sorry. I was talking to Missy," Otis said cautiously.

"It's all right," Jackie said and opened his arms wide while leaning back into his chair. "It's all forgiven, as long as you give me some sugar."

"What kind of dessert would you like tonight?" Otis asked dutifully.

"You." Jackie wiggled his eyebrows and grinned. Sure enough, he was an attractive young man, but Otis didn't see himself as being anything more to him more than a friend. And that he truly wanted. How many times hadn't grandma told him to go out and make some friends? But he had been so busy taking care of her during her last years, and also there were no people where they lived that wanted to be friends with him.

"Let's be friends," he blurted out.

Jackie gave him a disoriented look. "But we are already friends, Otis."

"We are?" When had that happened? How did people become friends, to begin with? With Missy, he had been surer when she had made it clear to him, but now, with Jackie, he felt as if the lines were blurred. That was another expression he was intrigued by; it served to show that a situation was confusing or not very well established. While he preferred it when things were one way or another, sometimes lines were, indeed, blurred. And that included the invisible lines people traced between them.

"Yeah, totally," Jackie replied, obviously unaware of the mental analysis he was trying to run while having this conversation at the same time. 

"Then that is great," he said.

Jackie leaned over the table, pushing aside the empty bread plate in front of him. He stared at Otis from below, and he did look like a puppy. The thought immediately took him to the muzzles and leashes hanging on Hudson's wall. It also made him blush.

"You're getting red in the face," Jackie pointed out and grinned. "That means that you know what follows. Ah, damn, I have such a good feeling about this."

"Nothing follows," Otis replied, confused by Jackie's words. "What should follow?"

Jackie bit his bottom lip and closed his eyes lazily. "Now follows the moment when I ask you, as officially as possible, that we add a little something to that friend thing."

"What?" Otis asked, eager to learn more about human interactions and their many mysteries. 

"The word boy," Jackie said. "Ah damn, that sounded lame, right? Let's be more than friends, Otis. Let's be boyfriends."

He should have seen that coming, Missy would surely say. Everything she had told him was true. Jackie was interested in him that way, and it was more than just sexual interest. Now, he understood why Missy told him that letting Jackie down would hurt the young man. Because, if he thought about it, if Hudson decided that they shouldn't be boyfriends anymore, he would hurt just as much, if not more. Definitely more.

Therefore, it was with a heavy heart that he eventually said, "I can't. I'm very sorry, Jackie, but I can't."

"What?" Jackie drawled the word, his smile never showing any signs of fading. "Why? Don't tell me it's because of those evening classes."

Otis knew exactly what Jackie was talking about. His lie about having to study online when he actually meant the dating advice he had hoped to get from Hudson. But, in a way, it wouldn't be that much of a lie to admit that it was so.

He looked briefly in Missy's direction. She was serving a nearby table, and the look she gave him assured him that he needed to be brave and rip the band-aid, like grandma always said. "I have a boyfriend," he said in a heartbeat.

"No, you don't," Jackie said with a snort. "Don't tell me Missy put it into your head that you should stay away from me because I'm some bad boy."

According to Missy, Hudson looked more like a bad boy than Jackie. He wore tight t-shirts that showed off his muscles and jeans, and he had gun tattoos and even that cute thing on his… Otis had to stop himself from making a mental inventory of all the body art inked into Hudson's skin. They were made of the same sweet stuff as pleasant dreams, and now he was at work and not supposed to daydream about tracing his fingers over those painted guns pointing at his neighbor's, no, boyfriend's intimate parts.

"You're not a bad boy," he said with conviction. 

"Don't tell me that's why you keep saying no. Ah, you're such a firecracker underneath that starched shirt, aren't you?" Jackie continued to smile, still oblivious to the fact that Otis was speaking the truth.

"I do have a boyfriend," Otis insisted. "His name is Hudson, and he has many tattoos." 

He must have said the last few words louder than his normal voice, because a few patrons turned their heads to look at them. That wouldn't do. This was a place where people came to eat and enjoy a pleasant calm atmosphere along with their food. 

"He is my neighbor," he explained in a lower voice. "I cannot be your boyfriend, too."

Jackie appeared to finally understand that Otis was telling him the truth. "I'll be damned. Hudson, huh?"

"Like the river," Otis pointed out. "Just as mine is like the elevator."

Jackie was working his jaw and he really did look upset. Missy had been right, of course, and now Otis had an unwanted place in the first row of seats for witnessing Jackie's hurt at his words. And he still didn't know what to do to make it better.

"Ah, well," Jackie said with a snort. "I guess I let you slip through my fingers. My bad."

"What can I bring you? Have you made up your mind?"

Jackie shook his head. "I guess I'm just not hungry anymore. See you around, Otis."

He stood up so abruptly that Otis had to sidestep quickly to get out of the way. And this was how they lost a patron, one who came there often and ordered the most expensive things on the menu. Their manager would be upset if he knew that Otis had caused that to happen. But it was more than that. Again, Otis felt that he came up short when dealing with other people was involved.

Was he ever going to learn how to be normal like everyone else?

***

Changing the locks had been at the top of the list of priorities once he got home, but that was barely a guarantee that would be the only time his space was invaded by Watkins's men. He didn't see the asshole himself getting down and dirty like that, but his gorillas weren't any better. No, definitely not a guarantee, but recent events were surely a reminder that this case was dangerous.

The soft knock on the door pulled him out of his dark musings. At least his laptop seemed to have resisted any attack. Not that they could find anything. Hudson followed a very strict protocol with regard to wiping his browsing history and not only that. Except for people on the force, and even among them only a few knew how to access the kind of information he was searching for with that seemingly ordinary device.

With a last look around the room, he walked toward the door. A look through the peephole assured him that there was nothing for him to worry about. Quite the opposite. In front of his door patiently stood the only reason why the fucked up situation he was in right now was bearable. 

"Hey, cutie," he said as soon as he opened the door, "what's up?" 

He leaned against the door, not wanting Otis to step inside a place where people with bad intentions had been less than twenty-four hours ago. 

"Hi Hudson. I know a new recipe for stew, and I will use the slow cooker tomorrow to make it. Do you think you would like to eat stew tomorrow? It's a vegetable stew, but it is very good. The cook at the restaurant where I work swears by it."

Otis's speech indicated that the young man was his usual self, but his eyes told a different story. He looked down, not that a thing like that made him look any less pretty. 

"Hey, what's the matter?" he asked gently. "Rough day?" He raised one hand and caressed Otis's cheek, lingering along the jawline and touching his lips briefly with his thumb.

"I had to let someone down," Otis explained.

"It happens," Hudson said. "We can't please everyone all the time."

Otis pursed his lips for a moment, but he didn't volunteer more information on the matter. "Can I come in?"

"How about we go to your place? It's a lot more comfortable. Just let me grab my laptop."

"Don't forget your gun," Otis said dutifully. "It's best to keep it close to you, because you're the one qualified to use it."

He wouldn't part with his gun in his sleep, given recent events. But, of course, in Otis's bed, he could relax for a bit and put his gun away, too. However, as always, Otis's logic made him smile.

"Can you also bring," Otis whispered and leaned forward, "one of those things?"

Hudson grinned. "Do you want me to put you on a leash?"

Otis blushed but nodded eagerly, without looking at him.

"Of course. Just give me a moment."

In less than two minutes, he was out of the place that now gave him the creeps. He wrapped one arm around Otis's shoulders as they walked down the corridor together. 

"Hudson, what do you think of blurred lines?"

The innocent eyes were full of questions, and Hudson felt that the question was a lot more pointed than Otis had intended to make it. 

"I'd say," he replied, "that you can't really make a living as a human being without having to deal with them from time to time. What do you think?" Otis's way of thinking, of seeing the world, was a breath of sweet air for him. It reminded him that there were still many good people left in the world.

"I think that it takes courage to cross them," Otis replied. "Just because things are not one way or another doesn't make them all good or all bad."

"That's deep, my friend," Hudson teased him and kissed him on the temple, as they waited for Otis to open his door.

"Am I only your friend?" The unconcealed blue eye stared at him, looking so startled that Hudson couldn't help thinking that he must have said something wrong.

"No, not only, and you know it. But the fact that you're my boyfriend now doesn't preclude the fact that you're also my friend."

A friend who probably saved his skin just the other night, just by being himself, innocent and untainted by the outside world.

***

There had to be so many things that boyfriends did together, but he wasn't very knowledgeable of many. The internet was not particularly helpful when it came to explaining what two people who didn't know each other that well did to fill up all the moments spent together. He didn't have enough money to invite Hudson to travel together, and although he had told Missy that he wanted to try wall-climbing, he had let that idea die on the vine. 

Also, they were limited by the fact that they only had this small apartment at their disposal, and their time together was very short. He had to work, and so did Hudson; Otis couldn't understand how people had enough time on their hands to go on vacations and whatnot, only to get to know each other better. 

But, according to other sources readily available online, they could spend some quality time together as boyfriends even if they didn't go out. If going out included only things like going to noisy places like clubs, Otis couldn't see how people could learn a lot of things about each other. At most, they could learn how to match their dance moves, and that didn't seem particularly important to building a relationship.

Why was he getting himself so worked up over such things? After all, he had Hudson here, and he was an expert. Otis wondered briefly if it were a good idea to ask him what to do about Jackie, but then he remembered that Hudson didn't like Jackie, although he didn't know why.

But if Hudson knew Jackie, why didn't Jackie know Hudson?

"A penny for your thoughts," Hudson said and pushed his hair away from his hidden eye, as he usually did when they were alone. "Did you change your mind about the leash? I'm good either way, just so you know. Between the two of us, you're the kinky one, in case you were wondering."

That was funny. Otis snickered, because that implied that he was a lot more experienced than Hudson, and that was ridiculous. Some of the heaviness on his chest, experienced ever since Jackie had left the restaurant tonight, his shoulders hunched, hands in his pockets, dragging his feet, lifted.

"It's good to see you smile. You should do it all of the time."

"I smile when I wait tables at the restaurant, but I don't think that I can do it all of the time," he argued.

"Smile when you're with me. That should cover it." Hudson leaned toward him and Otis understood right away.

That was one thing boyfriends could do when alone with each other. They could kiss a lot, and he didn't dislike the idea at all. He angled his head and met Hudson halfway. Soon, a hand was in his hair, and an arm was around his waist. They were in the hallway, so Otis managed to sneak a peek at the way they looked.

They looked good, like in the movies. Hudson was such a handsome man, he could play in blockbusters and even romantic dramas. But that would mean sharing him with everyone who would look at those motion pictures, because, without a doubt, a lot of women and men as well would dream of being trapped by those strong tattooed arms and kissed like that.

Possessiveness was not like him. Asking for permission was like him. And yet, at this very moment, he decided that he would do things differently. So, he chose to forgo asking for any kind of permission and opted for being possessive of his boyfriend for a change. He wrapped his arms tightly around Hudson and pulled him toward the bed.

There, a lot of things could happen, things that made two boyfriends very happy. They weren't talking, that was true, but they could do that in the morning, over breakfast, or later, when he would ask Hudson to taste his stew. 

Suddenly, he no longer felt so unsure. Even if he didn't know a lot about what boyfriends did together, he would learn. And because he had Hudson by his side to guide him every step of the way, he would be just fine.

Those were beautiful thoughts for the future. Otis didn't use to have many of them, and that realization made them all the more precious. 

That was the last thing he allowed his brain to dwell on. Hudson was doing wonderful things to his mouth, using his tongue a lot, and he needed to start paying attention. After all, one of his goals was to be so good a student that, maybe, one day, he would be able to surpass his teacher.

And that, again, was another beautiful thought to have tonight.

TBC