Chapter Twelve: A Distracted Heart

During the time that Michi embraced Chiyo, the two remained as they were for what felt like both a short and long time. Chiyo had been content enough to simply rest and take comfort in Michi's lap, while the girl providing the comfort was acting in a way that was surprising even herself. Her actions betrayed her words of hatred and spite. She loathed girls like Chiyo. She wished they'd all disappear. And yet, maybe that was the difference. This wasn't a girl like Chiyo. It was Chiyo herself.

Thinking even more on it, Michi wondered if she'd let anyone do what Chiyo was doing now. She believed she was close with Kanako, but if Kanako was in pain, would Michi lend her her warmth? "Why is it you...?" she thought as she stared down at the gal in her arms. She had yet to let go. Chiyo's cries had stopped, but neither girl had moved an inch. And, unexpected even more, was the fact that in that moment, there wasn't a single part of Michi that wished for it to end.

Was it out of pity for Chiyo or was it because the kindness that she usually received from her own friends had been lacking as of late? Or maybe, perhaps... she didn't quite hate Chiyo has much as she thought she did. "..."Michi's mind went silent at the potential revelation, not knowing how to process such a possibility. But then, instead of processing it, Michi did her best to push it to the side anyways. "I don't care about her," she thought, though those words rang hollow as she continued to hold Chiyo.

Finally, after both girls had had their fill of emotion, they removed themselves from the hallway and made their way downstairs to the front entrance. Neither of them had their bags, but with the way they had each rushed out of the library, followed by what had just occurred, they were both too embarrassed to go back for them.

Standing in front of the glassy entryway, Michi and Chiyo both stood quiet, both of them staring out through the windows in front of them. "...Thanks Mi-chan. For listening to my story," Chiyo said, breaking the silence between them. However, Michi said nothing back. Chiyo smiled at her, then went to leave. "I'll see you later Mi-chan. I promise I'll be back to normal tomorrow." And then, just as she was about to go-

"Wait."

Her voice was small. Why she spoke, she wasn't sure, but Michi was certain her mind had come back to its recent state of concern. One more thing still nagged in her brain and it was something that had yet to be truly addressed. Why Michi wanted to talk about it, why she thought she must say something, were both questions that hung in her mental queue along with the growing list of others that would someday need to be answered.

"Chiyo," she said quietly, but there was an increasing amount of conviction behind her impending words. "You should... stop... doing stuff like that..." Michi said awkwardly. "Doing stuff like what?" Chiyo asked with a tilt of her head. "You know... come on, do I really have to say it?" Michi muttered. "Say what?" Chiyo said, catching on that Michi was trying to bring something to light and now teasing her for it. Michi shook with annoyance, realizing she was being toyed with. And then, "THE SEX! STOP SLEEPING AROUND ALL THE TIME!"

Those words rocketed out of Michi's mouth, and she quickly slapped a hand over her lips as she became embarrassed at shouting about someone's sex life out in the open. Her reaction had been even more than Chiyo had expected, causing the gal to go wide-eyed a bit before returning to her smiling state. "...If it's for you, Mi-chan, I'll stop," she said. In response, Michi's face demonstrated her complexity of feelings swirling inside her at hearing such a thing. "I-I never said it was for me!" she finally huffed back.

"Mi-chan," Chiyo began again, her tone serious. Michi looked directly at her and was greeted by an expression that seemed to say nothing except "Save me." "If it's for you," Chiyo repeated. "I'll stop." Her gaze held Michi's. It was impossible to look away. "Why me...?" Michi wondered. "Why do I have to tell you to stop?" She wanted to ask those questions, but she wasn't sure if she'd get answers. Besides, even without asking, Michi's instincts told her that even if she couldn't put it into words, she already knew what the answer was.

"...do it for whoever you want," Michi said, barely audible. In her typical fashion, she refused to confront feelings that might drive her forward. But, just because she didn't face them, it didn't mean they vanished. If anything, their pushing seemed to only increase, forcing words out of Michi's mouth like the one's she had just spoken. They weren't yet true feelings, but for now, they were true enough.

Satisfied with Michi's response, Chiyo gave one last smile and a gentle wave before leaving. Michi stood in the entryway, watching her go. She had said everything she wanted to say and yet her mind still felt so muddled. Throughout it all, a singular idea permeated. It was the thought that maybe, just maybe, Chiyo Wakabayashi wasn't as bad as she had believed.

*****

As Haruna sat at the table, she found herself feeling very confused. The problems in front of her certainly posed a level of difficulty she didn't much care for, but her studies had dropped down her list of issues to worry about. At the moment, her confusion was rooted in wondering what it was that Akio was doing.

By all accounts, if one were to look at the two girls and one guy combination having a study session together, it would seem pretty normal. Akio was going back and forth, helping both Haruna and Kanako when they had questions. Getting the best grades out of the three, Akio taking on the role of teacher made the most sense. And, with the three of them being friends, it was only natural he'd want to help.

However, Akio's current actions strayed from what Haruna had recently become accustomed to. She had expected Akio completely ignore her and to fixate on Kanako instead. When Michi and Chiyo had been present, his "holding back," so to speak, was understandable. One wrong move and it was certain that at least Michi would've leapt down the boy's throat in fury. But, once those two girls had left, Akio's behavior had remained the same.

"Hm? Haruna-chan, are you stuck?" Akio asked, noticing Haruna staring at a page in front of her. "No..." she mumbled, making more of an automatic response rather than a conscious one. The whole situation felt weird to her because of how normal it was. "...That's kind of sad, isn't it," Haruna thought depressingly. But considering the normalcy gave Haruna an idea. Considering how well things had gone for her when she had gone out with Kanako on the girl's birthday, and the fact that Akio was acting like a normal friend for once instead of seemingly flirting with Kanako, it was the perfect opportunity to build on previous success.

Haruna thought that, but there was still an obstacle in the way. Namely, the boy currently sitting at the same table she was. "If I want to ask Kanako to do something together, I need to make sure Miyashita-kun doesn't hear," she thought. "Although, it's not like I have anything in mind anyways." Really, to Haruna, any time together with Kanako would be welcomed. Just hanging out at home was better than nothing. "Come to think of it, we don't do stuff like spending time at each other's houses very often anymore do we?" Because it had become such a rarity, Haruna decided that maybe a suggestion like that would be her best course of action.

Of course, just thinking that wasn't enough. She had to actually ask Kanako, which in the current moment, was difficult. "I'm sure if I just ask right now, Miyashita-kun will try to join in. Maybe I could try after we're done studying?" In this case, timing was everything. If Haruna tried before Akio was out of hearing range, it was easy to guess how that attempt would go. But, Haruna felt like if she waited too long, the two girls might end up parting before she ever got the chance.

"Haruna-chan, you look pretty distressed right now," Akio commented. "Shut up Miyashita-kun," Haruna muttered. Akio seemed to be taken aback for a moment before showing a small smirk. "Alright, I won't pry," he said quietly. "And anyways, it is getting pretty late. Should we call it quits for today?" Looking at the clock on the nearby wall, Haruna saw it was well past 5 p.m. For a moment she wondered about what had happened to Chiyo and Michi. "It almost looked like Fukuhara-san went after her... No, there's no way. Doesn't she hate Chiyo? Why would she do something like that?"

However, asking that question sent a dull pain through Haruna's heart. The question she was asking shouldn't have been "Why would she do something like that?" Rather, it should've been "Why didn't I go after her?" Haruna tried to come up with an answer that could explain it away, but she couldn't. That was because the real answer was already there: the awkwardness she still felt between Chiyo and herself prevented her from taking action. "I'm supposed to be her friend, so why didn't I..." Haruna let her thoughts trail off.

When Haruna and Kanako had fought in the past, it had turned out to be easy to fix overall. The wall between them had felt insurmountable, but once Haruna had been able to tell Kanako how their past fall-out had made her feel, the rest had come easy. Their friendship had been restored and with a little work, come up to an even better quality than what it had been before.

When it came to Chiyo, things were different. In her heart, Haruna knew Chiyo had done nothing wrong. In her own way, she had just been trying to help, and, when the situation had become something she didn't agree with, Chiyo had distanced herself, putting Haruna's feelings ahead of some scheme. That was something to be appreciated and a quality to be treasured in a friend. And yet... Haruna had lashed out at the girl that had helped her so much already. "I really messed up didn't I?" she thought sadly. To Haruna, it felt like the damage had been done, but unlike with Kanako, there wasn't a fence to mend. It was more like the two girls were just standing next to each other, but neither could actually connect their hands together if they tried. The gap just felt that wide.

Haruna wanted to fix things with Chiyo, and knowing that the possibility existed that she had basically let Michi take care of the gal instead of her made Haruna annoyed at both the short blonde-haired girl and herself. "Why can't I just talk to Chiyo and apologize?" Was it the feelings of awkwardness? The uncomfortability of admitting you're wrong? Or maybe, it was guilt. In her hopes of winning Kanako's heart, Haruna had leaned so much on Chiyo already, and now, even with that gap between them, she still wanted to reach out for Chiyo's help. "God, how selfish is that..." Haruna thought.

Before she could go any further with her thoughts, Kanako and Akio stood up. "Haruna? Aren't you leaving too?" Kanako asked. "Oh, right... yeah," Haruna said, moving to put her things in her bag. Once she was done, the group of three made their way through the school and out the front doors. As they walked by, Haruna took a look around, subconsciously hoping that maybe she'd spot Chiyo, but she had no luck. "I guess... I'll see her tomorrow."

The walk home was fairly uneventful on the outside, but inside Haruna's head, there was a major split. One side was dealing with her feelings about the situation with Chiyo. The other side was trying to figure out the best way to ask Kanako to hang out. "It feels a little weird to just ask like that when I haven't done so in so long," Haruna thought.

Then, before they knew it, the group had arrived in front of the houses of Haruna and Kanako. Usually this was the point that Akio would leave, but for some reason he lingered, adding to Haruna's agitation. "Just go already," she thought angrily. But as luck would have it, her emotions showed on her face, allowing Akio to take notice. "Is something wrong Haruna-chan?" he asked. Whether or not his intentions in asking such a question had been pure, Haruna had taken it as a prod. It felt like the boy was trying to force her to say what she wanted to say without him leaving. There was always the option of refusal, but Haruna got the feeling she wouldn't get off that easy. Akio's eyes were fixed on her, the anticipation gleaming in his pupils.

"...All I wanted was to see if Kanako was free after school tomorrow," Haruna mumbled. "H-Huh? Well, I-I don't have anything planned," Kanako said, surprised by the sudden mention of her name. "And what about me?" Akio chimed in. "I'm free too you know?" "No one cares that you're free," Haruna retorted. "How hurtful," Akio said, though he didn't look hurt at all.

Watching the exchange between them, Kanako began to get nervous. "I hope they don't start fighting again." As she thought that, Akio turned his attention to her. "How about it Kana-chan? Should the three of us hang out like old times?" "I don't want you there you jerk!" Haruna exclaimed. Kanako though was somewhat enticed by the idea. "The three of us?" she repeated. "Yep. Although, I don't know what Haruna had planned," Akio said. "...I just wanted to hang out at her house..." Haruna mumbled even quieter than before. "How scandalous," Akio joked, putting a hand up to his mouth. "N-Not like that!" Haruna yelled, understanding what he was implying. "Scandalous?" Kanako repeated. "Just ignore him Kanako."

"O-Okay... um, if we're at my house, then-" As Kanako tried to list things they'd be able to do at her home, she had a sudden realization. "If I have them over, and we go into my room, wouldn't that mean Akio-kun would be in my room?"

When they had been growing up together, Akio had come over to Kanako's house a fair amount, and had even been inside Kanako's room before. Him being at the house wouldn't be anything new, and it wasn't like Kanako had anything to hide either. However, as time had gone on, Kanako had been more and more reluctant to let Akio go that far. If their families were gathering, that was one thing, but for Kanako to allow Akio into her room of her own accord, it just felt a little... frightening, for some reason.

The fear was both good and bad. Bad, because a part of Kanako couldn't help but wonder what might happen when inviting a boy into a girl's bedroom. Good, because it was mostly fear of the unknown, and more specifically, an exciting fear of learning what it would be like to have Akio get closer to her. "It's not wrong to think that is it? I mean, we've been making progress, haven't we? Like on my birthday," Kanako thought, trying to justify her rationale.

But, even if she could justify it, something told her it just wasn't right. For one, Haruna had only said Kanako's name, meaning she probably wanted it to be just the two of them. On top of that, Haruna and Akio hadn't been getting along, so the idea of having them together in a small space seemed like a poor one. Then, there was one other thing. It was hard to say if Kanako really noticed consciously, but there was a look in Haruna's eyes as the girl stared back at her. They seemed to say, "don't let him join us," in a sort of pleading fashion.

"A-Actually, um, Akio-kun... I, uh, w-well..." Kanako wanted to turn him down, but it hurt her to do so. This was the boy she was in love with. Any opportunity to spend time with him should be viewed as a good one. That should've been the case, but Kanako couldn't shake the feeling that it would be wrong to allow him to hang out with the two girls. "I think... I would prefer it if it was just Haruna and I..."

The thought of Kanako, Haruna and Akio all playing together like they used to was an alluring one to Kanako. It brought about a sense of nostalgia that she found easy to long for. Combining that with her feelings for Akio, and it should've been an easy yes. But instead, she said no to her long-time crush and that decision seemed to bring relief to Haruna's face.

As for Akio's expression, he was surprised, but quickly transitioned into a smile. "If that's what you want, Kana-chan," he said. Kanako had no idea what that smile could mean. It certainly wasn't a normal reaction to being turned down. Then, with that said, Akio turned around and left.

"...Thanks," Haruna said softly. "F-For what?" Kanako asked, confused, but Haruna just shook her head. Instead, she just looked at Kanako, and then, with a gentle smile, said, "I'll see you tomorrow." Kanako watched Haruna's back as she walked away, and she couldn't help but focus on the rising heat in her cheeks.

*****

When the next school day came and went and Haruna and Kanako began making their way home, they held hands. The more Akio had been showing up, the less they had been doing that, but surprisingly, he wasn't around this time. "Maybe he'll actually stay away for once," Haruna thought. She gripped Kanako's hand a little tighter than usual. Not being able to hold it as much as she had become used to had been its own source of irritation for her.

"S-So what should we do at my house?" Kanako asked. "Umm, I don't know," Haruna said blankly. "You don't know? Wasn't this your idea? I thought you'd have something in mind," Kanako pointed out. "Y-Yeah, well..." Haruna stuttered. Her idea had been last-minute, along with her planning. Kanako let out a small sigh, then made a suggestion. "How about a board game?" "A board game? I haven't played one of those in a while," Haruna said. "Then let's do that. It'll be fun!" Kanako said happily. "Cute," was the first word that came to Haruna's mind.

Once they arrived at their destination, Kanako rummaged around in a closet for the game she was looking for. "Here it is!" she proclaimed victoriously as she pulled a box out from the bottom of a pile. "Hey, Kanako-!" Haruna tried to warn the girl, but it was too late. "Huh?" Kanako said, as an avalanche of stuff came down on her. "Kyaa!" she squealed, then, "Owwie!" as a light box from the top of a stack hit her on the head.

"A-Are you okay?" Haruna asked tentatively as Kanako rubbed her head. "Y-Yeah..." she said. "I guess I should've been more careful." "At least you didn't get hurt," Haruna said. "What about this bump on my head?!" Kanako whined. "Geez, I know it doesn't actually hurt that bad, but it still feels sore..." "Want me to kiss it and make it better?" Haruna said, half-joking. Kanako laughed. "That would be nice-"

As Kanako finished speaking those words, Haruna took several steps toward Kanako. "H-Haruna?" Kanako said, confused by Haruna's sudden movement. Then, slowly, she leaned down to Kanako's head and planted her lips on the spot that the girl had had her hand over a moment ago.

"Pain, pain go away. Don't come back another day," Haruna whispered. Then she looked at Kanako, whose face had gone red across the board. "My mom used to do that for me when I was little," Haruna said. "So, does it still hurt?" "N-...no..." Kanako said in a very small voice as she made herself even smaller. "Good. So, we gonna play?" Haruna asked. After taking a second to get past her embarrassment, Kanako nodded.

While the two girls sat at the table in the kitchen and set up the board game, Haruna found herself in a very good mood. "That was totally embarrassing, but I'm glad I did that, if only to see Kanako's reaction," she thought. The birthday date had been a major success, and despite Akio's advances, Kanako appeared to have chosen Haruna over him. She felt like she was riding an unstoppable wave of momentum. "At this rate, maybe I really do stand a chance." Haruna thought she had found the perfect balance: be forward, but not too forward. Little by little, get Kanako to notice her feelings, and her plan would surely end in a relationship.

Haruna felt like she was on Cloud Nine, but as the minutes ticked by, her mood lessened. She began noticing that the responses Kanako was giving to the things she was saying were very short. Mostly ���yeahs" and "okays." It was clear she wasn't paying much attention to the game either, as she was completely losing. And then, Haruna began to wonder if maybe something, or someone, was on her mind.

Of course, while they played, Kanako was definitely distracted. She couldn't stop thinking about the reaction Akio had given the previous day. "Why did he look happy that I wouldn't let him join us?" she wondered. She kept thinking that maybe it would've been better to have Akio around. "If he was here, maybe Haruna and Akio-kun could make up while playing this game." She knew a solution like that would be too easy. Nothing is ever that convenient. But she hoped that if she got the two of them together to do things like playing together, then maybe it would help to fix their friendship.

That was what Kanako wanted, but... "What if it goes too well, and they start really getting along..." While Kanako wanted her friends to be friends again, she couldn't dismiss that worry in her heart. If Haruna and Akio did stop fighting and were friendlier with each other, would Haruna end up being the one to win Akio's heart? The deal was no longer in place, but that didn't mean there wasn't a prize up for grabs. "It sometimes feels like she doesn't like him anymore, but if Haruna does still have feelings for Akio-kun, then..."

But, before Kanako could finish her thoughts, Haruna abruptly stood up. She was scowling. "Haruna? W-What wrong?" Kanako asked. "...Nothing. I'm going home," she said flatly. "W-Wait! Aren't we still playing?" Kanako said. "Look at the board dumbass. I already won," Haruna said angrily. Kanako looked down. Sure enough, her piece had hardly advanced and the items she had started with were now on Haruna's side.

"O-Oh... I guess I wasn't paying attention..." Kanako mumbled. "Yeah. I noticed," Haruna said sharply. Looking at her eyes, Kanako thought she could see pain in them. "A-Are you mad?" Kanako asked. "I-!" Haruna was about to yell, but stopped, instead letting out a long, long breath. "Whatever. It doesn't matter... Bye." Then Haruna quickly grabbed her things and left before Kanako could say another word, leaving the girl to wonder what she had done to hurt Haruna.

*****

"Stupid, stupid, stupid! Kanako, you're so stupid!" Haruna screamed into her pillow after arriving at her bedroom. She had nearly run into her house and slammed all the doors behind her as she went before ending up in her current position.

Haruna was sure she knew what Kanako had been thinking about. "It had to be Miyashita-kun. That's the only thing ever on her stupid brain," Haruna muttered. She had no way to confirm, but a gut feeling told her she was right. "Looking all distracted like that... You're supposed to be spending time with ME, remember...?"

Haruna had been certain the wave she had been on would carry her into Kanako's heart. Whether it had been just being swept up in the happiness or sheer naiveté, Haruna had begun to think that her odds were only going up, never once stopping to think that they might still go down. And now, after everything that she had done so far, a simple evening of playing a board game had seemingly destroyed it all.

"...I even kissed her on the cheek... and she still only thinks about Miyashita-kun... That's really... not fair."

End of Chapter Twelve.