Chapter 3

Rey POV

His darkness is beautiful. Even though it's evil and sinister, it's something that takes my breath away. Everything about it appeals to me. Perhaps my light needs his darkness, and his darkness needs my light. It's disgusts me to say so.

Ever since I saw what Kylo was thinking,  the possibly of his return to the light and the part I take in that journey has been on my mind. It wasn't an option I had seen before. It wasn't anything I had even thought was possible due to the fact that I really didn't think he'd ever give in but now I have and it won't go away.  I've done so much thinking. The images of Kylo and I together at the resistance cloud my logic.

My mind is screaming no but my heart is whispering yes. It's like my heart has decided something but my mind opposes it. I want him to help but I can't stand the thought of being with him. -Here I am sitting in my room. It was just two nights ago that Kylo had dinner with me, though it feels like an eternity.

He hasn't come back to see me. He knew I saw what he was thinking. I'm not sure if he is angry or embarrassed. It's hard to deny anymore that there isn't something between us. Like we are tied together in some crazy spiritual way. I can feel it even though I'm trying so hard not to.

I want to see him. It's crazy what this situation is doing to me.

Maybe I don't have to let this get out of hand. Maybe I can just get him back to the light. Maybe I can return him to his mother as he obviously wants to. He just frankly doesn't have the guts.

I could better him by going along with this. But when I looked into his eyes I saw all the people he murdered. How do I deal with that?

Almost on cue Kylo walks in. His presence stops my heart. I stand up quickly, breathing slowly.

He walks with uncertainty. He stops, takes off his mask and sets it on a nightstand.

"Is there something you want?" I ask quietly.

He turns to look at me, his eyes boring into me. My heart quickens by every second.

"You know very well what the situation is." His voice is shaky and deep.

"I'm not sure what you'd like me to say." I mumble.

"Don't act like you're innocent in all of this. You feel it too." He turns around fully.

"I don't know what you mean."

"You feel the connection, as if we are meant to be in each others lives. I don't want it and I know you don't either. I've stayed up late at night trying to forget you. Trying to forget your face. It makes me weak. I'm unable to be the leader I need to be for the First Order because of you. I just want it to go away."

He seems so certain though we have only met once before he took me here.

I stay silent unable to speak.

"Everything about you is beautiful to me. I've never experienced this strong of a presence of the light before. It's happening whether I like it or not."

"It doesn't work like this, Kylo. How am I supposed to trust you?" The lump in my throat aches.

"I don't expect you to trust me. I could never ask you to do that." He looks directly at me.

"How am I supposed to help you when I know you don't want to be helped?" Hot tears stream down my face. Not because I'm sad but because I am so conflicted I can't understand what's happening.

"I've always been empty inside. There was something missing. I thought there was something wrong with me. Then I met you. My anger outbursts have been settling slowly. I'm getting better. I'm not miserable anymore. I had a dream about my grandfather a few nights ago. He told me to follow my heart and let the light lead me. I'm not sure if it was my imagination or something real." He steps closer to me. The tension growing with every breathe. "The force is binding us together for a reason. I can feel it." I cringe because I know he's right.

He steps up to me again. Our faces are inches apart. My mind is screaming at me to walk away but my body refuses to move. I've never wanted something  so much in my entire life.

I push my lips into his. He kisses back, hungrily. I never want to stop. My lips move smoothly with his. We fight for an advantage. I run my hands through his hair.

It's like I'm not me anymore.

I bite at his lip, my heart racing faster than it ever has.

When we break apart he stares down into my eyes. I want to kiss him again but I resist.

He gently rests his head on mine. A few days ago I hated his man. I would have been horrified with the thought of kissing him I would have wanted nothing more than for him to die a painful death, but for some reason I don't see Kylo Ren anymore. I can feel Ben's presence directly in front of me.

I embrace him while a sorrowful feeling in my heart. He stands vulnerably in my arms.

I smile softly.

Suddenly everything comes to screeching halt. Everything tells me to run. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. I can see a clear image of the man he's destined to be, but I can't shake the images of what he still could be.

I stand still closing my eyes tightly hoping for him to leave.

"Rey?" He asks suddenly.

"What?" I say unsteadily.

"I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to ruin your life as I did mine." His voice shakes.

I look into his eyes and see a strong man who has power, crumble in front of me. I see a man who is driven by hate think of someone else's wellbeing.

"Rey, I hate what has happened. I used to be so strong and couldn't care less about anyone or anything that didn't associate with the First Order. You brought me to my knees. In how many days? Three? I'm helpless. I find it difficult to do anything and it's because-" he pauses wiping away tears. "It's because of you."

"This wasn't my doing. You've had it in you all along to do what you truly wanted. The connection between you and I was only a push for you to realize what you're truly capable of. You've found yourself. Now please come back with me." I plead.

"Found myself? How do you suppose I go back to the light? I've killed innocent people. No one would ever forgive me. I don't deserve to be forgiven." He head sinks into my neck.

I put my hands on his shoulders, still uncertain of him. Can even forgive him?

"Think not of your past, but of your future." I run my hand down his cheek lightly.

This is so unlike me. I would never act like this before. Is the light guiding me? Is this what it has in store?

Whatever it may be, I can feel it. It's positive. I've never felt so alive. I place a kiss on his cheek as we stand in the darkened room.______________________________