RTYY 309 - A Matter of Time

One thing was sure, RyuXin might act all submissive in front of the others, calling them brothers and sisters back and forth, but ZaiWin knew better. He was too used to the dissimulated and deceiving performances of nobles and royals at court, not to recognize the familiar pattern from miles away. RyuXin may act as if the others were important to him, but ZaiWin was sure that he wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice every single one of them, if that meant that he could save himself. He wondered if Snow could see it too. Taking into account his behavior so far, probably not, he considered with another sigh.

Even though he was mostly initially suspicious of the entire world around him, deep down Snow was still too innocent, easily believing in other people's intrinsic good-will. ZaiWin was sure that that was exactly how they'd ended up in that fucked up situation. Those bastards had approached him in Woodbridge, with that ridiculous talk about how they could help him get rid of their bond. And sure, ZaiWin wasn't exempt from blame in that. If he hadn't cornered him so much, if he had been less of an asshole and had actually treated him better, he was sure Snow wouldn't have even stopped to listen to a word out of their mouths. As things stood, that idiot had actually thought that he had found the solution to their problem, and had almost killed himself in the process.

ZaiWin gritted his teeth, his mouth tasting bitter at the thought of how close he'd been to losing him. And yet, even though they had almost killed him, Snow had never blamed them.

Once again, ZaiWin had failed. He should have clearly talked to him about that, about what had happened. Told him that he shouldn't trust people that were willing to risk his life just so they could pursue some fanatic idealism. But, back then, he had been just too relieved to finally have him back. He had been too desperate to get Snow to forgive him, to show him that he regretted all the things he'd told him, to convince him that he meant it when he said that he wanted to stay together from now on. He had been so focused on himself, on his need to make sure he would never leave him again, that everything else had been cast to second place.

Still! Freeing all Celestials from their Chosen One's influence? They were fucking crazy! For good or for worse, the Celestials were the ones doing the choosing! Not the other way around. No one forced them to choose anyone. Those fuckers, preaching about how they wanted to protect and keep all Celestials safe! Wasn't their empty idealism going against their precious Celestials' nature to begin with?

Even if Snow might have wished to embrace the idea of being free from their bond. ZaiWin was sure that the golden-haired dolls living at the Palace would never willingly part with their Chosen Ones, no matter how poorly they were treated. That was just the way they were. And what was that fucking way to help? Giving them poison to drink? Fucking fanatic bastards! ZaiWin was sure they would rather see them dead, than to know that they were still bound to their Chosen Ones. Hadn't Snow realized that at all?

ZaiWin sighed.

Even if he had realized it. Knowing him like he did, ZaiWin was sure Snow would still think that what happened in that cavern was his fault and his fault alone. That he had chosen to take the risk. He had told him so himself, that the old man had explained to him what might happen, and that he had still chosen to drink that thing. So, in Snow's eyes, these people hadn't done anything wrong. Not until he had opened that door and seen ZaiWin standing there. ZaiWin had clearly seen the change in him at that moment, his pale eyes turning ice-cold. Now he probably felt he had been deceived by them. But what ZaiWin just couldn't understand was how they had managed to earn his trust in the first place.

Sure, Snow had probably been a little bit desperate, back at Woodbridge, and they had clearly taken advantage of that. But still … To just believe what other people told him was hardly in Snow's nature. Surely he hadn't just believed that load of crap, about how they were like him and so on. There must be something else, ZaiWin considered. Something Snow had kept from him, which really, really pissed him off! After all they'd been through, after all they'd shared, ZaiWin had thought that he had finally earned Snow's trust … Apparently, he had been wrong.

When they made a stopped at midday, and he was allowed out of the cart so that he could take care of his personal needs, his gaze immediately found Snow. And it was all he could do not to push the bastard standing watch over him and rush to his side. He had slid off his horse, but was obviously feeling so sick that he could barely stand.

MaoHan shoved ZaiWin's shoulder.

"Hurry up and do your business or get back inside the cart!"

ZaiWin forced himself to avert his gaze from Snow, and put in an extra effort to keep his face from showing his true feelings. Oh! He was going to enjoy killing that bastard!

Obediently making his way to the nearest bushes, he kept his ears focused on what the others were saying.

"He needs to have a decent meal!" the younger woman was saying.

"Don't worry, Snow. I can probably get you some of those roots you like to eat," RyuXin told him, probably concluding that Snow was in no condition to procure his own food like he always did.

"Just tie him up and shove some real food down his throat!" HuaQin insisted. "I assure you he'll feel better in no time at all."

Thankfully none of the others paid her any attention, or ZaiWin might have just had to kill them after all.

"If … you're … going … to … look … for … food … for … him… take … one … of … the … kids … They … always … go … with … him … They … probably … know … where … to … find … it …" ZwaKin offered, and RimJan sighed impatiently.

"He doesn't need food! Why won't you listen to me? Snow is sick!"

"Sick with what?" RyuXin asked.

"That … I don't know."

"Sick or not, he still has to eat," RyuXin decided.

Once he was finished with his business, ZaiWin calmly went back to the cart. He was in urgent need of a bath, he thought, his skin feeling itchy.

Looking outside, he saw RyuXin walk away, taking the little girl with him. Taking into account the present situation, he doubted very much that they would be able to find anything eatable around there.

Snow was sitting on the ground, leaning against a dark tree, his eyes closed as if he'd simply fallen asleep. He was so pale that he looked almost inhuman. RimJan was simply standing beside him, watching him attentively with eerie dark, listless eyes. She didn't try to talk to him. She didn't try to wake him. Which was good, ZaiWin thought. Snow was probably trying to realign his markings. That would certainly help him feel a bit better, although it could never solve the problem itself. And ZaiWin knew without a doubt that it was only a matter of time before he collapsed.

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Hmm, poor Snow. He's definitely not feeling good. And ZaiWin, he's so sweet. I guess he just can't be angry with him for too long 😊

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