Chapter 108: A Suggestion

                       ***A SUGGESTION***

After a little while, aunty Paula was set to go home, she picked up her portable purse and mumbled:

"I have to go, there are some things which I must do before Cynthia's father returns home."

"Ok, go well, take care of your family, it is all that matters dear. Family is all we have."

Mom explained in a bewildering manner. It was obvious that aunty Paula just wanted to leave our place, she was so hasty in living, I'm sure she will take an exhale once she left the door. I noticed her reaction when I came out, I met her holding one little Lewis Viton purse when I saw her, I came to greet her, but she seemed irritated or rather dreading, she just tried to stylishly avoid any contact with me, the message was clear to me, but why that, I had no idea, all I could possibly think of was that mom might have reported me to her and she was mad at me. Well, it's true, mom actually reported me to her, but I had little or no idea about what or the words mom had let out about me to her, I'm just sure that she told her things about me which even I dont know. So she left in a manner which I could almost describe as running.

"Mom, I'm sorry."

This I confessed once again immediately after locking the door behind aunty Paula. Mom just called me to her which I obeyed and went, she made me sit on the chair where she sat in a way that I will rest on her. She pets me by the head, stroking my beautiful gold-colored hair which might soon be decaying six feet under because of my stupidy.

Right now I felt so stupid and selfish. Just because I wanted to be loved by a girl, because I wanted to selfishly impress a girl, that was why I had to do something that will kill me and leave my mom who loves me the most all alone, my mom who loves me even more than she does love herself. Mom will definitely die if anything happens to me. I wondered what could be her fate if I die, she might as well die too.

"It's ok baby, we will find a way through, there is no way I'm letting to go, absolutely no way."

You see, even though mom makes things so scary, I still have this strong conviction that she can't let any harm befall me, she has always protected me, there had never been a time that she failed to protect me, you know I always see her as an assistant God when it comes to protection, care, love, and many other things.

The next morning. It was Sunday, mom didn't get enough sleep last night, she couldn't even sleep at all, she was up almost the entire night, she just lay down face up. She said I must be sleeping in her own room henceforth, she needs to have her eyes on me, she thinks that as far as she is seeing me that no evil can be wrath on me. For a fact, mom made it so scary and full of superstition. She kept saying some confusing things, making funny comments like: "no one will take you from me, You are not a fish, you are a human." All these kept confusing me I dont even what which she was saying. 

That Sunday morning, mom and I were preparing for Church when aunty Paula knocked at the door.

"Who is with there?"

Mom asked as I rushed to go get the door. When I opened the door, behold it aunty Paula. I noticed something strange about her reaction towards me, it almost came out like she was scared of me, she seemed so scared and terrified at the sight of me.

"Good morning ma."

I greeted but she never answered, instead she asked of my mom.

"Is your... mom...  inside?"

She asked in a seemingly scared tone. "Or is she irritated by me? Maybe mom told her about my skin reactions." So I thought to myself after observing her reaction.

"Yes, she is."

So I responded and she quickly scurried her way inside as she made sure we never had a contact.

She was already dressed, she was in a blue gown made of the native Ankara, she was elegantly dressed, her gown was long with a flay which flowed down to the floor and tight on the body, it just exposed her endowment, now I see where Cynthia got her beauty and physics from.

"Oh my dear Cynthia, what if I die, I'm going to leave her and just die? That's not fair, I just can't leave her to herself, she is going to so miss me."

Just imagine what I was thinking, imagine the kind thought which I shelter in my head, how can I possibly be thinking of a girl when I'm about to die. Who does that? Common, I can be annoying sometimes, even to me, I can be annoying. And this is me who have the full knowledge that it was because of her that I got into this predicament, I'm so disappointed in myself, seriously, I could even beat myself if I could.

Now she was in, my mom must have heard her voice that was why she must have left her makeup to scamper out to the sitting room.

"Good morning Paulina, how are you doing today?"

Mom asked, but instead of aunty Paula answering the greeting, she rather made a gesture suggesting that I should leave their meeting. I understood the gesture apparently but I hesitated until mom gave me her own signal. What are these two ladies discussing that they dont want me in? I evidently understood that whatever they were discussing was about my situation, but what I dont understand was why make it a secret to me, I'm the one dying here, mom does not know that all those things she did only killed me even faster, because it aroused a lot of fear in my mind, giving me the false conviction that im apparently going to die, and not just anytime later but soon.

It's a very scary thing to think that you are neighboring with death itself. You fear every single feeling, it could be the symptom of death, even sneezing could be the death call