12 11 - Not Such Tenacious Guys, After All.
With how many uncountable worlds there are, anything and everything was possible.
Such was the variety of Goblinkind.
In some worlds, they are but somewhat short humans painted green.
In others, they're ape-like creatures that are intelligent enough to wield weapons stolen from men but aren't much of a threat by themselves.
In the most idealistic of worlds, they are spawns of twin war gods, eternally in search of a good fight and get what they want due to the grim dark nature of their world.
And in the most depraved of worlds, they are disgusting rapist midgets.
Fortunately for the Angel and anyone with a clean mind watching, Zelda was no such depraved world.
Well, of course, if Nintendo started to create such content, then pigs would start flying, and politicians would start to care.
Bokoblins, this world's equivalent of Goblins were indeed maneaters, but their interaction with humanity stopped at just that.
Which was fair, considering how many man-eating beasts and monsters there are in the multiverse, something about human flesh was probably quite appealing to their type.
And it wasn't like it was cannibalism or anything similar as these Bokoblins resembled pigs more than they do the common man of Hyrule.
The image of a petite, green-skinned, pointy-eared scoundrel with yellow or red-eyed, and minimal clothing was probably what you would think when faced with the word Goblin.
But the damn Bokoblins are very far removed from that archetype.
Your average Bokoblin is a large figure, not so much tall, but very wide. They have a hunchback, which makes them appear somewhat shorter, but they should be as tall if not taller than you if standing with a straight posture.
They have a monstrous yet somewhat humanoid face with the snout of a boar and the ears of an elephant. They were covered in crimson red skin that shared the texture of scales more than it did the skin of mammals.
A single, stubby horn decorated their completely bald head. Their eyes had no pupils and were of a sapphire blue colour, and they had little to no clothes on.
Suffice it to say, these Bokoblins were the type to goblin deez nuts...
Okay, bad joke, but that's not really important. What was important, was the obstacle that stood between him and his destination.
Alexander gazed through Sylone's pebbles, the ancient monument that was the sky-scrapping Sheikah Tower in view.
That tower was the thing that announced the starting point of the Hero's journey. Considering that it had already been activated, Link must have already awoken by now.
Alexander wanted to climb that thing, to get a better view of the area and to check out the wondrous Sheikah technology. Yet dozens of primitive tents and huts made of dingy material blocked the path.
Naturally, it was an encampment of Bokoblins.
There was no possibility of stealth with the Talus's titanic body, so the pair merely jumped down from a hill above and landed near the camp to confront these humanoid monsters.
During the time it took for the Talus to travel to this locale, which was half an hour, Alexander had taken it upon himself to give the rock giant a little upgrade.
Now both of its limbs were vaguely humanoid, he had also guided the Talus to make itself some opposable thumbs, thus allowing for even greater dexterity.
The Talus's central body, which used to literally just be a giant unsymmetrical boulder, was now a more well-shaped torso that vaguely resembled the letter V in its outline.
He was now in the process of giving Sylone better legs, though that could wait for after these Bokoblins after taken care of.
Sylone released a frankly unnecessary loud rumbling roar of crashing rock as his elongated arms met against the ground, his posture hunching forward as if he was a giant gorilla made of stone.
Panicked porcine yells could be heard as the Bokoblins witnessed a huge threat that had just appeared in their backyard, seemingly in search of a fight.
A quintet of the largest and bulkiest of the Bokoblins ran forward with clubs or spears in their hands and undisguised fear in their bulging eyes.
Sylone didn't react, quite used to the sight of terrified Bokoblins, as Alexander's tendrils reached out before he phased out of the Talus's featureless face, nearly giving these pig-faced men heart attacks.
Alexander gazed down at these mortal monsters with a hybridization of pity and confusion in his otherwordly eyes. He would have thought the minions of a supposed Demon King to be more tenacious, but perhaps their fear couldn't be put to blame.
Without warning, an abnormally-shaped Talus radiating power just randomly decided to pick a fight with you and your family completely unprovoked, only for a strange, alien parasite to come out of its head.
Yeah, that must be quite scary, especially for tribals such as these...
Next thing they know, Alexander was gonna probe them for their banana organs!
"Don't be so afraid, are you lot not the monsters...?" He said casually, eliciting a Bokoblin to actually start pissing their loincloth as the freaky alien just spoke in an even freakier language that they somehow understood.
Well, maybe that wasn't the best idea. Alexander began to contemplate how those guys in the Bible did it, just saying 'be not afraid' seemed to make it even worse...
Maybe that's why most Angels that like to interact with mortals choose to get humanoid bodies, this would be a real bother if everyone's first reaction to his appearance was Lovecraftian fear.
"We are not your enemy, nor the enemy of your enemies. Let us pass, or we shall be." Alexander said, giving these Bokoblins a choice with a genuine threat in between.
Why the Angel had decided to speak like some biblical prophet was simply because it was much cooler to do so.
It also felt weirdly natural, he hadn't even meant to do it when he first opened his mouth. But, hey, why not?
A pregnant silence was kept for a few more inseminating seconds before the Angel widened his eyes at the sight before him.
Virtually, all of the swine men collapsed onto their knees and started begging like the heavily abused slaves of an ancient pharaoh, dropping all of their primitive weapons and instruments of violence onto the ground in primal submission.
"Spare, Mercy!"
"Mercy, God!"
"God, Spare!"
"God, God!"
"God, God!"
They chanted as if witnessing the second coming of a prophesized higher being, making the Angel rub his closed eyelids in contemplation and frustration.
"Shut up!" He shouted, and as if it was a divine truth ordained by a God, the Bokoblins quickly halted their chant, looking like they wanted to cut their tongues out.
"...Remain as you are, I am no deity and I do not want worship from your kind." The Angel said as he unfurled his wings, the wonder in their pupilless eyes evident as they witnessed his literal holy visage.
"My name is Amon, remember it well." He uttered, almost possessed to do so before turning back to his earthly Vessel.
He tapped the stony surface of Sylone's 'skin' as he gazed into the Talus's form with his many eyes.
"Stay here, I want to go up there for a bit." He said, pointing up to the Sheikah Tower with a tendril as he proceeded to float upwards.
The Talus simply stayed silent, understanding the Angel's desire as it sat on its mountainous ass.
Alexander considered the Talus for a hot second before he fully spread his pure white wings and zoomed into the sky, faster than any bird that has ever evolved in Hyrule.
...Leaving the silent Talus with the confused Bokoblins.
"God...Stone God...?"
"Stone God!"
===
A/N: Has my writing increased in quality?
I'm not depressed and insecure anymore, so the magic in my writing might have dwindled.
I also don't use as many ridiculous jokes as my past self, instead focusing on the plot as well as world-building.
The only factor that has not changed is the fact that I let the story itself play out instead of controlling it, and also my language, which has stayed unusually archaic.
I used to go really high up the ranks, why now did it change? (Besides the previously ridiculous update schedule.)
Has my writing quality increased? If not, what can I change about it?
