Two Lives One Limbo

I… don't like being alone.

Paradoxical to my desire to be left alone, I know. But I have never liked being alone on my own. When I am, I am alone with my own thoughts.

…I don't like my thoughts.

Darkness as far as the eye could see. Earlier I could still hear Grandpa, but now, there's nothing. I was alone in the cold darkness.

My world had always been hidden behind a thick black fog.

At night, when you blow the candle, it becomes dark and the moon hides behind the clouds, there is nothing.

When this happens, I would remember the time of my death. Floating in the darkness, cold and alone.

The only difference was that Ista and Mother were always by my side. Accompanying me at all times.

But this time… I am alone. Without anyone.

In the darkness, I exist.

Without anyone.

I desperately kept my eyes closed.

I don't want to be reminded that I'm alone again.

"Open your eyes." a voice echoed in the darkness. A deep voice.

'Am I hallucinating? Am I creating voices in my head again?' I stymied a laugh, 'What kind of name will I give it this time?'

"Do not doubt your mind, child, You are not alone. Open your eyes and see for yourself."

But the voice claimed otherwise, and against my fears, I was compelled to follow its commands.

And far away… there was someone.

A giant with six arms, chained down in the darkness.

Alone, unable to leave.

In his right hand was an oh-so-familiar hammer.

I was in awe-struck.

I was well-aware this was not the same world as my previous one. It was a land where the dead would return as walking dead when they are not blessed with a burial.

Where Griffons fly over your village. Threatening to swoop down and take the Elderly.

But… this was something I did not expect.

In front of me, there was clearly a giant. And in that instance, I just realized one important thing, 'I can see clearly again!'

"This world is somewhere within you, and outside existence. The eyes you possessed in your first life can be retrieved here. From what I can retrieve from your memory, you can call this place Limbo…do you even remember me, child?" it asked me.

I cannot understand his meaning, Limbo? The edge of hell? I want to understand, but I have no strength to inquire. I simply decided to answer him.

"Of course, I do remember, are you not the devil who hit me with the hammer soon after my death?"

That's right, it was the devil that possessed those terrifying black gold eyes and the giant hammer. Its massive figure was wrapped in an ephemeral light, his finger bigger than my body, and its right hand was a worn-out hammer.

To his left was an anvil and the four arms on his back held different kinds of flames. Each having a different color, illuminating the darkness.

He had no mouth, and nose, but from the one side of his face that was not covered with hair, was a peculiar eye. A black sclera and a golden pupil. A beautiful yet ominous pair.

"Are you scared of these eyes?"

He noticed I was staring at him, and asked.

Quickly, I shook my head, "No… they are beautiful."

"Beautiful? Hah-Hahahahaha, beautiful she says." the giant laughed, creating waves in the darkness, "What do you fear, then?" he asked.

The figure extended its left hand. It touched my face and gave me a questioning gaze.

"If I remember correctly, did you not say you hate the sun? Then, you must love the darkness. Right?"

"I don't like the sun. It is too bright for someone like me, it burns as though it hates me, but I do not hate it. However, as for the darkness, I loathed its existence… no, I am more scared of it."

"…explain."

"Why should I? Can you not retrieve those from my memory? From what I can tell, you pulled some information from me just now. How can you know how I don't like the sun then? So what use is telling you? Do you like playing with me?"

"What I gathered from you is nothing but information. Memories are hidden in a place protected by their psyche. Come on, tell me a good story; it's going to be a while until you awaken."

"Don't want to. What do I get for telling you my story?"

"Look at this. Bargaining with a being that could erase her from existence. You are truly something. But you are right, You gain nothing. Maybe passing the time, we are both in Limbo, after all. Hmm, if you want to know, then, I could tell you what I am and how you got here."

"Really?"

"I do not lie, child." he said.

Weighing the options. And how it was in the darkness without anyone, I took a deep breath as I began retelling a story, "When I was young, I was a loner."

There was nothing else to do. So, I started where it all began.

"My eyes looked fierce and children my age didn't like playing with me. Saying that my eyes were scary. They called me names, and would throw stones at me. Saying that it was to defeat a villain. They even said that I will always be alone. That no one would play with me… a laughable past, remembering the ferocity of a child's words.And what's even more laughable is that I accepted what they said.

"And so, I just gave up. I became alone, and those around me laughed because they needed someone to pour their insecurities on. Children, am I right? But when I reached middle school, I found someone who extended her hands to me, someone who wasn't turned off by my eyes, someone who was willing to become my friend. That person was Julia.

"One time, I broke into a fever. My parents were worried so they went out to get medicine…then they never returned—I heard they were hit by a swerving car was the report..

"They went out to buy something for me… I know that's the reason. But I refused to know what it was they had with them. I was afraid of knowing that it was my fault… even when I already knew that it was.

"So, I locked myself in my room. I started thinking. Started blaming. Started crying. The more I thought of the fight I had with them, the more I grew angry with myself. And as a result, I pushed everyone away; I was left alone, huddled in a single corner of a dark closet.

"I couldn't bring myself to raise my head, I was ashamed, and most of all felt guilty. I covered my eyes as if afraid to see others, and I covered my ears, afraid to hear judgment.

"I was afraid, and being in the dark did not do me good. Slowly, I spiraled into depression, losing myself to the darkness that led me to almost losing my way. Help cannot come, was what I thought. That no one can help me. I pushed everyone away, no one could help me, and only then did I realize how scary the dark truly is.

"I understood then how it can swallow you if you are not careful. How it would make you remind yourself of your mistakes. Of your regrets. It made me know that if I wasn't sick, they wouldn't have gone out that day. That if I wasn't alive, it wouldn't happen. That if I was gone, I wouldn't trouble anyone.

"Despite my desire for isolation, one person stuck with me, and that was Julia. My only friend helped me stand up again. She showed me the light and pulled me out of the darkness. I overcame the darkness with her by my side… and now that she's not with me, I feel scared again.

"I am afraid of being alone… fearful that my own weakness will swallow me… I become paranoid of how others would look at me. My insecurities surface, my thoughts clouded... my mind devolves to ideas I cannot stomach.

"When in the dark, I fear my own self-loathing will cause me to do something I know I will regret. I fear the darkness within me more than anything else.

"Julia was my anchor before, and now my family. And if I am to fall in this darkness… I know that I will lose my life by my own hands. Ha, that might be why she brings me to her vacations more often than not... I never even got to thank her for that. Haha, it is not so much a happy story now, is it? Well, that's everything I have within me."

A long winded story. Something that had no good ending.

Even at the end of my life, I never did anything right.

"A tale of self-loathing I see, stemming from the death of one's parents and carrying the hate to yourself, it seems like the two of us are not different."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

What was he talking about? One look and anyone could point out one glaring difference.

"I obviously do not mean our height, human. Stop actins so foolish."

"How did you…."

"Your face, human. Your face. I didn't need any mind reading ability ro know what you were thinking. Anyway, I cannot speak of it entirely, but I will tell you my story as well. To keep it short, due to my greed of wanting my parents to come together, I caused their deaths; my father had his head claimed by a warrior and my mother captured and tortured. A tale of youthful stupidity. And that is all, well, I have to uphold my end of the bargain then—"

"He-Hey! What are you doing? " I shouted out of fear.

The giant had let go of two fires and dug out both his eyes.

"Stop! Are you really planning on dying after I just told you a story about attempted suicide!?"

"HAHAHAHA~ No such thing, young one. I am merely upholding my end of a deal."

"What!? I never asked you to dig out your eyes! Don't make me the reason why you're going to die!"

"You are correct. It was not you I had a deal with. But, someone else."

His laughter echoed in the void and caused it to shake, his eyes showed glee, but I am left unsure, for he had already dug out the two jewels in his eye sockets earlier. With his left arm, he extended his left hand in front of me.

When his hand appeared in front of me. Instead of two giant eyeballs, there was an ordinary pair hovering right before me.

I tried raising my arms to give it back to the giant, but I soon found out that I lost my ability to move. And slowly, the two eyeballs approached.

"He—hey! What's happening!? Why can't I move!? Why are these eyes approaching menacingly!?"

But all I heard was the Giant's laughter.

"HAHAHAHA! So, you truly will become my only true descendant. So, it was right of me to answer her prayers at the same time even if it risked my destruction—"

"Stop, laughing! Stop them! This is disgusting!"

But the bastard did not listen.

"Lily —no, Fay-Aine, remember that you are unlike the rest of this world. When you return to the other side, you will be given a wonderful gift. This gift will be useful to you and how you use it will surely dictate the world's future…."

The giant said as he started raising the old hammer.

"Hey, don't raise your hammer yet; that means you're going to send me out of this place, right? You haven't told me what the hell is happening! No… stop the eyes… they are getting too close for comfort!" His eyes were inches away. I tried blowing them away, but they did not budge, "He-hey, what happened to telling me what you are and how I got here?"

"Oh yeah."

"Right, so, why not stop this and explain it to m—-"

"Your eyes were stolen by the underworld. And I am the God of the Undying Forge — Ystavious."

"...What!?"

BAM!

Thus his hammer descended upon me a second time.