Chapter 5

Indigo

We strolled towards the library, and my heart raced with anticipation. Today, we might uncover the mystery of my second spirit animal.  Fingers crossed, We'll hit the jackpot!

The compatibility class has sparked a new interest in finding my spirit animal. And let me tell you, I'm psyched to compete and show off my skills with extra help from my second spirit animal.  Who knows what powers I'll be able to unleash with their guidance, ability to shift, and maybe something even more awesome.  Let the hunt begin! 

The guys informed me the library has a vast collection of books on the subject, and I was eager to see what I could find. The guys seemed just as excited as I was as we talked about the prospect of what my spirit animal could be. Walking through the bustling hallways, I could hear other students chattering about the upcoming competition. 

When we finally reached the library, we made a beeline for the section on spirit animals.  The shelves were packed with dusty old tomes, and I felt excited as I began to browse through them. As we browsed the shelves, there were so many options, but most were about specific spirit animals that we were already aware of.  We are looking for something that lists all the different spirit animals recorded in history. 

I looked around me, taking in the school library; it was located in the oldest section of the building, with stone walls and arched ceilings that seemed to echo the whispers of the past.  The shelves were tall and lined with books that had yellowed with age, their spines cracked and worn from years of use.  The wooden tables and chairs were old and worn but sturdy enough to support a student's weight and a pile of books. 

The library smelled of old paper, leather binding, and dust, giving it a musty ancient quality.  The windows were large but covered with thick curtains that kept the sunlight out, creating a dim and eerie atmosphere.  The only light source came from the flickering candles placed on each table, casting long shadows on the wall.  It must be to preserve the books, as I can think of no other reason to keep the light out. 

Many nooks and crannies were in the library, including hidden alcoves behind bookshelves.  They were often used by students who wanted to study solitude or were looking for a quiet place to read.  The shelves were also filled with books written in different languages, including Latin, Greek, and Old English, adding to the library's mystique. 

As I scanned the library shelves, I couldn't help but feel discouraged.  Every book I picked up seemed too complicated or irrelevant to my research.  Just as I was about to give up, my eyes landed on a section labeled "Rare and Mysterious Spirit Animals."  The books in this section looked like they had not been touched in ages, covered in a thick layer of dust.  I hesitated momentarily, unsure if this was what I needed, but something inside me urged me to pick up one of the books, so I did. 

As I flipped through the pages, I couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement.  This was precisely what I had been looking for all along!  I quickly grabbed a few more books from the section and returned to my friends, struggling to find the right resources. 

I carefully placed the book in my backpack, ensuring it was hidden amongst the other resources I had packed up.  Something about it told me that its discovery was meant to be kept a secret.  Perhaps it was the worn cover or how the pages whispered as I turned them.  Whatever it was, I knew I had to keep it to myself. 

As I joined the others, I resisted the urge to share my findings with them.  Instead, I kept quiet and focused on the task at hand.  After all, we were on a mission, and there was no time to be distracted by mere books. 

We gathered our books and walked back to their dorm, each with a stack of books from the library.  We were all eager to dive into our new finds and send the evening lost in the pages of spirit animals. As we walked, we chatted and laughed, discussing the names of the books we found and the ones we put back, thinking they would be of no help. 

Just as we reached the entrance to their dorm, we were stopped by Prudence, the girl who tried to scare me with her tactics, but it didn't work.  She had been trying to get Dane's attention for days now, and it seemed she wouldn't give up anytime soon. 

"Hey, Dane!" she called out, running up to him.  "I've been looking for you everywhere!"

Only in some places because we were very clearly just in the Library.  Although, by the looks of Prudence, she probably never went near a library.  She probably had her minions doing her work for her.  So, she would have to be seen in a library.  Yep, it's official I'm a snarky bitch!

Dane turned to face her, a polite smile on his lips, "Hey, Prudence.  What's up?" 

"I was wondering if you wanted to grab a drink with me later?"  Prudence asked, twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

Dane hesitated for a moment, trying to find the right words.  "I was just about to head back to my dorm and study.  Maybe another time."

"It's because of her, isn't it?  That's why you won't go out with me?"  Prudence yelled, her voice rising with each word.  I had half expected her to stomp her foot like a child having a temper tantrum. 

Dane' sighed and ran a hand through his hair, trying to keep his frustration at bay.  "Prudence, it's not about her.  It's that I don't think we're a good match."

"But why not?  We are compatible, and our families have been friends for years.  We have so much in common."

"It's not just about having things in common, Prudence. I just don't feel a spark to be with you." 

She crossed her arms and glared at me while she addressed Dane.  "So you're saying I'm not attractive."

"That's not what I'm saying at all.  You're a beautiful girl, Prudence.  I don't think we have the chemistry to create a successful relationship." 

Prudence lets out a frustrated huff and turns away.  "Fine!  Whatever!  I'll just have to find someone who appreciates me for who I am."

As she stomps from us, I can feel my inner sarcasm building. 

  I silently chant, "Don't say it," hoping to stop the word spillage from my mouth.  But unfortunately, the work spillage occurred out loud when River turned to me and asked, "Don't say what?" 

"Oh, nothing, it's just sometimes the need to say what is on my mind takes so much self-control, I need a nap afterward,"  I said, stifling a laugh. 

Dane raised an eyebrow, his eyes darkening with interest. "Come on, blue, spill it,"

I hesitated momentarily before letting it out. "Fine,"  I said with a chuckle.  "I was thinking, but didn't say, that I want to cancel my subscription because I don't need her issues." 

We all laughed until our stomachs hurt.  It's moments like this that I am happy I came here. 

Dane struts over, his hands grabbing my hips as he leans close, "Hey there, blue, you better watch out.  Your mouth is writing checks your body can't cash."

I meet his gaze with a sly grin, "I guess that depends on who's making the withdrawal." 

As Dane's lips met mine, sparks rippled across my skin, and my heart raced with the need for more.  Our lips intertwined in a fiery embrace while someone else started kissing my neck from behind, and then two more sets of hands entered the mix, caressing my arms and sending shivers down my spine.  The thrill of it all was like nothing I had ever experienced before.  Eight hands on my body should be taboo, but instead, it felt like the missing puzzle piece to my pleasure.  It was perfect. 

Pulling away from the passionate kiss, I gasped for breath and looked at Dane with surprise.  "What was that for?" I ask, still trying to catch my breath, my men surrounding me. 

"Existing," he replies, eyes falling to my lips as the others agree. 

I feel my heart flutters at his words.  "That's not a reason," I say, trying to hide my smile. 

"It is for us," he says, and somehow, they surround me even closer, the heat from their bodies radiating off and warming my soul. 

"You have this unexplainable draw, and we can't help ourselves," Ashers says, holding my head. He turns my face to his and kisses me like no other.  I agree it's like a magnet is pulling us together, and I'm unsure if anyone else has ever felt such a connection. 

"I hate to be the cockblocker here, but we need to discuss the competition and see what we can learn about Indig's spirit animal.  Cedar says as he gently pulls me from Asher and kisses my lips. 

As Cedar interrupts the steamy moment, I can't help but feel frustrated.  But at the same time, I know he's right.  We must concentrate on the competition and gather as much information as possible.  I try to push down my desires and focus on the task. 

But hold up, before we begin our wild goose chase, I must address the elephant in the room.  I'm practically bursting at the seams, her folks.  The mere thought of an Indigo sex sandwich has my panties melting off.  Yes, I said it.  Don't judge me.  You were thinking about it, too. 

We sit in the living room and discuss the upcoming competition.  We discuss our strategy and how we can work together to increase our chances of winning.  It's important to us to do well, for the competition and the four of us.  We're all invested in seeing where our connection can lead us.

"The competition is about strength, endurance, and intelligence."  said Dane,  "I think it is safe to say that we will need to focus on strength training  and running to increase endurance."

"I agree," said River.  "But also, I think they will have some tests requiring using our element.  We should practice our elemental power to increase how long we can use it without draining all our energy."

"That's a good point," said Asher.  "And most likely, we must understand riddles and problem-solving for the intelligence section.  I doubt they would have us take a written test."

"Definitely," I replied, nodding.  "We need to be prepared for whatever challenges they throw at us.  And I agree with riddles and testing our ability to escape sticky situations."

Cedar smile.  "Glad you agree.  And speaking of being prepared, we should also focus on our nutrition.  We must ensure we have enough energy to sustain us during training."

"I couldn't agree more," Dane said.  "We should add more protein and clean energy to our diet.  Maybe we could even get our hands on some Fae bread.  I've heard it's amazing at giving you energy." 

"I completely agree," said Cedar, looking at each of us.  "We cannot afford to lose sight of each other.  We must work together to get Dane and Indigo to the winner's circle."

"I couldn't have said it better myself," chimed in Dane, his eyes looked into mine.  "We had to be a cohesive unit and support each other every step of the way." 

"I know it won't be easy," Added Asher, "but we have to stay focused and keep our eyes on the prize.  We can do this if we work together and stay committed." 

As we were wrapping up our strategizing session, I suddenly blurted out, "Holy crap, this means I'll be a princess!"

Dane smiled and said, "And one day, our queen."

My mind started racing as I thought about what it meant to be a queen.  "Wait, can a queen even have more than one partner?  Has it ever happened in history before?"  I asked, my panic growing. 

Asher looked at me and said reassuringly, "Indigo, you will be our queen. You can have whatever you want.  And you are ours, so yes, you will have more than one partner." 

I see his dragon swirling beneath the surface of his skin. I found solace in its presence.  But then, a terrible thought struck me.  "What do you think will happen if Dane makes it to the end and I don't?  I asked my guys.  "What if another girl makes it to the end and chooses Dane?"  My anxiety grew with each passing moment. 

And having been fiercely independent most of my life.  I was struggling to have all four of these men in my life.  I've always had control of my emotions, and I don't like this feeling of vulnerability. As I tried to push it away, or the more I wanted to ignore it, the stronger it became.  As if some force inside me was driving me and I had no control. 

Cedar looks at me with a knowing expression.  "It's okay, little Gemini.  You don't have to fight it.  It's natural to feel possessive over the people you care about, especially in romantic relationships." 

I sighed, "But I don't want to feel this way.  I pride myself on being independent and not needing anyone else to complete me."

Asher interjects playfully. "Ah, the sassy Gemini twin rears her head.  But it's okay to want us, to have a connection with us.  It doesn't make you any less independent.  Besides, we have the same feelings inside us."

Dane exclaims, "My wolf is howling. He wants to mate with you!  He's a horney one, but oh, so happy when he is around you." 

"I think it's all our spirit animals.  All I have to do is think about the day we saw you climbing the stairs, and mine, Phoenix gets all "mine." River adds.

"Oh, you mean the day I made an ass of myself gawking at you four,"  I replied. 

"Yeah, well, we were gawking right back, sweetheart,"  Cedar added.  "If the halls would have been empty, we would have approached you then." 

"It's true," Rive chimed in. "Our spirit animals knew from the moment we saw you that we were meant to be together.  We just needed a little push, and that came from you in the combat arena." 

The Dane reminded us of the second reason for our gathering.  "We need to get back to the second reason we are here.  To go through these books and see if we can find anything that will explain what her spirit animal may be and maybe get clarification on when we all feel like this," he says, gesturing to the pickle of books in front of us. 

We each grabbed a book and began flipping through the pages, searching for any information that could shed a list on the mysterious one we shared and my spirit animal.  The silence was only broken by the sound of pages turning and the occasional murmur of excitement or frustration as we came across something interesting or unhelpful. 

After hours of scanning books and finding nothing, I shut the book and let out a frustrated sigh.  "This is useless," I muttered under my breath.  "I've been searching for hours and still haven't found anything helpful."

My stomach grumbles loudly, reminding me I hadn't eaten since breakfast.  "I'm hangry," I said, rubbing my temples.  "I need food and a break.  Sitting for so long is exhausting.'

The guys laughed at me but grumbled about finding nothing and needing food.  "Let's go get some food," Dane said, holding his hand out to help me.  I gratefully took it, dusting off my pants as I stood up.

"Yeah, I could have some burgers and fries," River said, rubbing his stomach.

"Thought we were eating to fuel our bodies," I playfully taunted. 

River shows me a sly grin. "Oh, I know just the thing that would fuel me up," he replied with a wink. 

"Nope, not until I get actual food,"  I retorted.

"But after we eat?" he prodded, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

I couldn't help but laugh and shake my head as we went to the canteen. 

"I have the worst case of blue balls," River grumbles.

As we load our plates with food, we spot Salem and London.  We park ourselves at their table.  Who do we see strolling by as we dig in and having a blast? Prudence.  And what does she do? She curls a "bitch" my way as she passes.  As if I care what she thinks of me. 

"Seriously, Prudence? I'd have to care what you think of me for your insult to affect me.  And I don't.  So call me whatever you want.  Also, it's okay if you don't like me. Not everyone has good taste."  I say loud enough for those around us to hear. 

"But let me tell you something, honey.  The King's opinion is the only one that matters, and he's already approved for Prince Charming and me.  And as for the competition, bring it on!  I'm ready for you.  And you can bet a whole gang of us is just as determined to make that happen." Prudence throws at me, and I'm stunned. 

The King has approved a union between Prudence and Dane.  I look at him, and he is avoiding my glare. 

Straightening my shoulders, I look her in the eyes and say, "If you're waiting on me to give a crap, you better pack a lunch. It is going to be a while." 

Prudence huffed and walked away, angry at her lack of ability to get under my skin.  But little did she know a door was now open, and I'm sure the guy's wish would have otherwise stayed closed. 

"So, the king approved of Prudence.  When were you going to let me on this tidbit of information?" I pointed to each of the guys. 

"It's not like that,"  Dane said with a sigh.  "Being a prince means making certain alliances; unfortunately, my father thinks Prudence's family would be a good alliance.  I don't want anything to do with her, but since she is compatible, she is in the running."

"Oh, I understand the why.  My problem is what you are not bothering to tell me.  Did you think that someone like Prudence wouldn't resort to any means to turn me against you?"  I said.  "What I don't enjoy or appreciate is being blindsided, especially after our chat back in the room.  If you will excuse me, I'm done with all this." I whispered, trying to keep my voice from the prying eyes and ears of the academia.  I rise from my seat and exit the canteen. 

As I return to my room, I feel the anger boiling inside me.  How could the guys keep something like this from me?  I thought we were all on the same page and in this together.  But now, I can't help but wonder if they all have families waiting for them, too. 

I reach my room and let out a frustrated sigh. I grab my bag and slam the door shut.  I need to be alone to process this.  To decide how I feel about everything.  I toss my bag on the floor, and it spills over. I bend to pick up my scattered books, laptop, and notes.  I noticed the text from the library. 

Holding the old book in my hands, I couldn't help but feel a science of mystery and intrigue.  Its pages were worn and yellowed; no title or author was listed on the front cover.

I hesitated momentarily before opening it, unsure what I might find inside. 

But as soon as I began to read, I was transported to another world,  The world of the Indians.  The pages spoke of a legendary spirit animal, a creature that was said to possess the power of storms and thunder…. Thunderbird. 

The Thunderbird is an influential and revered creature in Native American mythology.  It is often depicted as a large bird with blue feathers, a wingspan as wide as the horizon, sharp talons, and lightning bolts emanating from its eyes and beak.  The Thunderbird is believed to be a messenger of the creator and has the power to control the weather,  particularly thunderstorms.  Its wings flapping are said to create thunder, and its lightning bolts are seen as a symbol of its Strength and power.  The Thunderbird is respected and revered by many Native American tribes, particularly the ones in the Great Plains and Pacific Northwest regions.  It is often used as a symbol of protection and is believed to bring good fortune and blessing to those it favors. 

Whoa, is this my spirit animal we're talking about? I've never even heard of a thunderbird being a spirit animal before!  It is, why me?  What's so special about me that I get to have such a badass spirit animal?  And like, seriously, why would we even need such a powerful spirit in a seemingly safe world? 

I pondered these questions and realized I was meant to keep this a secret.  It was as if an invisible hand placed the knowledge in my mind, warning me not to reveal the truth to anyone.  The mystery only deepened, and I couldn't help but wonder what other secrets my spirit animal held. 

I knew I had to tread carefully from now on.  The thunderbird may be a powerful ally, but it is also a secret that could bring danger if revealed.  I resolved to let my spirit animal guide me, but I would keep it close to my heart for now.

As I changed into my sleepwear and settled into the bed, I looked forward to a peaceful night's sleep.

However, before I could close my eyes, there was a loud knock on my door.  I heard the guy's voice, asking to come in and talk, but I wasn't in the mood for any talking. 

I considered getting up and telling them I needed some alone time but was too exhausted to deal with them and their comments.  Instead, I made the mature decision to ignore them and hope they would eventually give up and leave me alone. 

As I lay in bed, I could hear their muffled voices outside my door, but I tried to block them out and focus on relaxing.  I knew I would face them eventually, but I just wanted to be left alone. 

Finally, the noise outside my door died down, and I could tell the guys had given up trying to talk to me.  I felt a twinge of guilt for ignoring them, but at the moment, I was just too tired to care.  I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep, hoping tomorrow would be better. 

I groaned as my alarm beeped loudly, signaling the start of a new day.  I had set it early because I wanted to run before starting my day.  I dragged myself out of bed and quickly changed into my running gear.  As I tied up my laces, I felt a sense of anticipation.  Running always helped me clear my head, and I found that I could solve almost any problem while pounding the pavement.  But as much as I enjoyed helping others, I would never seem to solve my problems.

I stepped out in the fresh morning air, feeling invigorated and alive, pushing the thought of the guys aside.  The sun was just beginning to rise, casting a warm glow on everything around me.  I started to jog down the path, feeling my heart race. I picked up the pace. The cold air hit my face, and I felt alive and free. 

As I finished my run, my body ached from the exhaustion, but my mind was refreshed.  As I approached the entrance to the school, I saw Purdnece standing there, not today, satan, not today.  It seemed live every time I saw her. She managed to get on my nerves.  I tried to walk past her without saying anything, but she couldn't let that happen. 

"Hey, you!" she said, waving her hand.  "What's your problem?" 

I took a deep breath and turned to face her.  "My tolerance for idiots is low today.  I used to have some immunity, but obviously, there is a new strain out there."

I stared at Prudence.  People need to start appreciating my effort in not being a serial killer.  But I knew better than to say that out loud.  So I just crossed my arms and continued to stare.

"Oh, it seems like the witty comments are gone now that the crown prince and his court aren't here to save you."  Prudence sneers, acting like she is winning this ridiculous confrontation. 

"Never mistake my silence for weakness.  Nobody plans a murder out loud." I grit.

"I'll gladly toss your sorry ass in the trunk and help people looks for the body." 

"I don't understand what anyone sees in you,"  Prudence says.  "But Dane is mine."

"You know there is someone for everyone out there, and the person for you is a psychiatrist."  I sneer.

"Well, I guess you'll never know because you won't be around to see it."  Prudence laughs. 

I can tell you I sensed my fatal mistake right then and there.  Prudence was a freaking distraction to whoever was behind me, but I felt the prick to my neck before I could react.  I swung around, but it was too late; the effects kicked in, and my vision blurred.  I had to reach the wall just to keep from falling over.  And then the darkness closed in around me. 

"Don't worry, you won't suffer much," Prudence says.  "But with you out of the way, I'll become the next Queen.  And then I can finally eliminate Dane and all those other losers. 

I knew I had to warn the guys about what was coming.  The thought of her gaining control of the monarchy was terrifying.  But I also was so exhausted. My mind was racing, but my eyes were heavy.  I struggled to keep them open, but the darkness was calling me.  I fought it,  trying to focus on the well-being of the kingdom.

The kingdom's safety was at stake, and I couldn't fall asleep until I warned them.  I tried to shake off the drowsiness, but it was overwhelming.  As my vision blurred, I knew I was losing the battle.

As I slowly opened my eyes, I found myself in a place unlike any I had ever seen before.  The air was filled with a sweet, floral scent, and the light that filtered through the trees surrounding me was soft and gentle.  As I sat up, I realized I was dressed in a beautiful flowing gown of pure white. 

Looking around, I saw I was in a garden filled with flowers from every hue.  I heard running water in the distance and followed it until I came to a crystal-clear stream.  I knelt and cupped my hands to drink from the cool water.

As I did so, I caught sight of my reflection.

It wasn't my reflection that shocked me, but the reflection of my spirit animal- the Thunderbird.  It seemed to shine from my aura, and the blue feathers were so vibrant and beautiful that they were alive.  I felt a sudden surge of energy inside me as if the thunderbird had infused me with its power. 

Well, folks, it looks like the end of the road for me. I had a good run, but I thought it would be longer.  I thought there were worse places to go out than in a beautiful setting like this.  At least the scenery is perfect. 

As I kneel here on the ground, I can't help but wonder if my parents made it to this afterlife party.  They always said they would be waiting for me on the other side, but knowing them, they probably got lost on the way.  Hopefully, they show up soon so we can catch up and reminisce about the good old days.  Until then, I'll just enjoy the view and wait for the afterlife cocktail party to start.

I spin around, my heart racing as I face a vision of beauty.  She speaks with a voice that is both soothing and commanding, and I am left feeling comforted and intimidated. 

The goddess smiles at me, and suddenly, I am filled with a sense of peace and calm,  "My dear child, you are so unique," she says.  "This world is not worthy of your spirit, but they will get to enjoy it all the same."

Her words confuse me, and I wonder if I am still alive or have not somehow passed into the afterlife. 

"What do you mean?"  I ask, feeling anxious. 

"First, you're not dead, but yes, you are in the spirit realm,"  the goddess explains.  I needed to bring you here to heal and to discuss your future, Indigo Journey.  As to my previous statement, I was referring to how you look at the world and what happens to you.  Here, you think you are dead and make light of it.  Not many in your place would be so accepting of such a fate." 

I looked at the woman standing before me, her lengthy hair flowing in the gentle breeze.  I tried to remember my education on the Gods and Goddesses.  "Aphrodite? The Goddess of love?" I asked, my voice filled with disbelief. 

She smiled, nodded, and gracefully said, "Yes, my dear.  I am Aphrodite, the Goddess of love, beauty, and passion." 

I was taken aback, unsure of what to say or do in the presence of a deity.  Do you think my crown prince encounter was a cluster?  This is way worse.  "Why are you here?  What do you want with me?"  I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. 

"Your destiny is to become the queen, my child.  That much is certain.  But how you get there is up to you.  You can either be marked by love and become a queen from that union, or you can face death and become queen through the following circumstances,"  The Goddess, Aphrodite, explained, her eyes holding a glint of something I couldn't quite decipher. 

"Marked by love? But what does that even mean?"  I asked, feeling a sense of panic rising within me.

"Sit, my child. I must share a story with you."  The Goddess said, and a set of chairs appeared before us.

I leaned forward, eager to hear what she had to say.  As she spoke, I was transported to a different time and place.  She told me of King Magnus and his visit to an oracle seeking an answer to a question and how he erased mate bonds due to that visit. She explained mate bonds and how they were a gift from the goddesses. 

My heart sank as she explained that I was now tasked with correcting the curse that the King had brought upon the supernatural world.  I had to get Dane to mark me, as he was my Goddess-given mate, and if he chose not to, I would have to kill the King to break the curse and give the supernatural creatures back their goddess-gifted mate bond.

The Goddesclrified that upon visiting an oracle, only the exact question asked can be answered.  Unfortunately, the King asked the wrong question.  Rather than inquiring about his lineage's reign, he inquired about his own. The response was accurate, but it left him to make a mistake. 

The Goddes also explained the severing of mate bonds is the reason for our inability to shift into our spirit animals. This gift was only recently restored by adding a second spirit animal.  The mate bond between spirit animals is essential for their fulfillment, and removing the bond would create immense suffering.  Therefore, the Godeeses removed shifting to spare our spirit animals while waiting for the King to rectify his mistake. 

"You see, my dear, you were always meant to be the Queen to those four boys, but the bond was removed, and now, to restore the future for all, you must make a decision."

Goddess gravely stated. 

"Are you saying they are all my mates?" I asked incredulously. 

"Yes, my dear. You require all four of them to balance your Gemini spirit," she replied matter-of-factly.

"I wish I had known this before I walked out on them.  My current relationship status is sleeping alone,"  I said ruefully. 

"I understand, and I will handle it," The goddess replies, speaking in a severe tone. 

"Should I be concerned about the implication of that?" I ask. 

"No," is all she says before continuing.  "Owaisssa is the name of your Thunderbird.  She is not to be revealed until the appropriate time.  When you awaken, she will be present with you and signal when needed to aid you.  I cannot risk anyone attempting to harm you again.  It requires significant power to transport you here and heal you.  Therefore. Be cautious and do not disclose the knowledge of your spirit animal or the mate bond to anyone. 

I must seek Dane's love but can't reveal the reason.  The looming prospect of murder and the potential loss of my mates is distressing.  What sort of mate would want to be with someone who commits parricide?

"Indeed, he must prioritize his love over his loyalty to his father to break the curse,"  spike the goddess with solemnity.  "As for what follows, it is a matter of free will.  The individual may accept or reject the mate bond by vocalizing the person's name and title, followed by the phrase "I reject you as my mate."  If the rejection is chosen, all parties will be granted a second chance, mate, due to your sacrifice.  However, under normal circumstances, a second chance mate is not offered after rejection has been finalized." 

"This is a fate worse than death,"  I respond. 

"Yes, it is a grave and unfortunate situation, but your resilience and fortitude are why you have been selected," the Goddess declares in a somber tone,  "During this period, you must remain here until your body is restored.  Utilize this time to cultivate a deeper connection with your spirit animal and fortify that bond.  This is where I must take my leave."