Please..Talk to me Kenma..

⚠️WARNING the following includes: Self harm/suicide attempts and thoughts ⚠️



                                         EATTTT!!!!! I cant stress this enough it matters so much!!                                                                             Wash your hand and be Sakusa during this pandemic please!!!!

Kenma POV:

I heard people Yelling my name but I wouldn't look up. They saw them. They both saw the thing I keep hidden most. Kuroo.. I want Kuroo right now. I didn't bother looking up but tugged on Akaashi's shirt. "Kenma.." Akaashi said I could hear his voice crack. "Kuroo...I want Kuroo.." I barely said that without hyperventilating again. "Kuroo's almost here Kenma..now I want you to take my hand a squeeze it." Akaashi said I could tell he was crying already. Akaashi and I had always been friends, and always will be. I did as he said to. "Do you want me to continue holding your hand and squeezing it occasionally?" I asked barely making sure he could hear me. "Yes that would be nice.." Akaashi said softly. Akaashi doesn't really show emotions other than alone with Bokuto so this is a strange sight to see. "Why..?" I asked not understanding why. "Because..If you can still squeeze my hand..your still alive.." Akaashi said you could hear how much he was holding back tears. "KENMA!" I heard someone yell from a bit far away. Someone was infront if me now. "Are your cuts deep do you need stitches again!?" Kuroo said panicing. I just started crying again. Kuroo pulled me into a tight hug making me let go of Akaashi's hand. I could feel my shoulder starting to get wet where his head was. "Kuro.."Was all I was able to say. "Kenma please.. please talk to me..I want you to live and smile I want you to get through this..so please...just talk to me" Kuroo was holding me so tight. I started crying at the thoughts that came into my head. "Kenma go to sleep Kuroo will carry you back." Akaashi said you could tell he was crying. "Why" my voice was so dull and lifeless. "It's gonna make anything your thinking about and I know there not good things go away for a bit.. I Promise." I knew Akaashi was right so that's what I did, and soon I was sound asleep on Kuroo's shoulder.

Sidenote: this is how Kuroo carried him back)



Kuroo POV:

I was scared not gonna lie. I got the call and thought he would be bleeding out and need stitches. I started carrying Kenma back. Iwaizumi and Bokuto had come and we're comforting their boyfriends. Akaashi looked like he was going to collapse any second from all the crying. And Oikawa had just stopped crying but he was never crying that hard like Akaashi. I decided to check Kenma's wrist to see how many and how deep they were for myself. Lucky us Kenma only reopened 2 cuts. They weren't deep enough for stitches and couldn't make him bleed out so I let them be. While I move his head and hair back and kissed him on the forehead. "You are so precious to me Kenma.." Some people stared at me while I said that. I didn't care if people were staring anymore, I just wanted Kenma to live as long as his body would let him. I put my headphones on and plugged then into Kenma's phone. Kenma had my favorite playlist and just likes soft and sweet songs.

Afterlife Slowed and Reverb (I just wanna be loved meme)

Sidenote: I actually love this songs)

I clicked on this song it was Kenma's most listened to. I held him even closer has I heard the lyric's. Why didnt he tell me how much he was suffering.. I was basically running back to the gym I heard people talking when I stopped at the crosswalk. "Is he kidnapping him." "No hes crying while holding him close kidnappers dont kidnap during the day." The girls were gossiping as usual. So I decided to say "I love you Kenma" they both started walking away pretty quick after that. the next song that started playing after that was.

I'm so tired slowed and reverb by: Troye Sivan

Damn Kenma was probably crying to these. I thought as I ran across the crosswalk. I was almost to the gym when I saw Lev Hyperventilating and Yaku trying to calm him down. "God its my fault everything is my fault." Lev was yelling in frustration. "Yeah Lev this one is but I though you would have gotten used to it already." And then I heard a smack I looked up to see Yaku on the ground with Yamamoto standing with his hand slightly up. "What the heck Yamamoto!" Yaku was yelling at him. "Lev its ok calm down I see Kuroo with Kenma in his arm." Yamamoto said trying to calm Lev down completely ignoring Yaku. I was infront of them now panting. "He should be fine with comfort and time alone." I said and started panting again. "He didnt do it again did he.." Yamamoto said with his voice cracking. "He..he reopened some cuts..but hes still breathing and hes not bleeding anymore."  I said checking his arm. I held the back of his head and put it on my shoulder like I was protecting him. Yamamoto started crying. Kenma was really special to him. He was the first one to not hurt him at all. Im gonna take him to our room if coaches ask send him up to the room.." They both nodded and Yaku opened the door I felt eyes on me as I walked on the sidelines. I opened the door with my back and headed upstairs. I opened the door to Nekoma's room and set down Kenma. I made sure he was snuggled up in blankets just in case he got cold. I did take his jacket to check the pockets to see what he used to reopen them but found nothing. I heard a knock at the door. "Come in.." I said getting up to sit with Kenma his head in my lap. It was Akaashi. He asked if he could hold his hand and I nodded. "Why do you want his hand though?" I asked curios. He just lifted his hand over and showed he had 2 fingers on his wrist. "His pulse.." Akaashi said quiet and sad. My eyes widened at that. "That's smart" I said shocked but expected. "When he was still awake I had him squeeze my hand ever now and then letting me know he was still breathing." Akaashi said only loud enough I could hear him. "You guys really are close" I said sounding a little jealous. "He gets me and I get him we got close in a matter of 2 sentences, we would give our life for the other." Akaashi said rubbing his thumb on Kenma's hand while still holding it. "Y'know he would give his life for you right Kuroo?" Akaashi said looking up at me. My head shot up. "Theres no way he would especially when hes happy." I said with disbelief. "He really would Kuroo" Akaashi said still holding his hand. "Where's bokuto" I said leaning down and kissing his forehead. "Explaining this to the coaches. you guys will probably have less games then us." Akaashi said letting go and getting up. "Well im gonna let you sleep keep im calm for me please." Akaashi said waving and walking out. I laid down with kenma in my arms and soon fell asleep a few tears still running down my cheeks.

Hiiiii sorry if this chapter was triggering to anyone!!! I felt like this fit but it made me sad to write something like this :(( I think im going to be switching in between Kuroken and bokuaka or I can just make a whole other book for Kuroken. if you made it this far THANK YOUUUUU!!! Anyways Stay safe be Sakusa if you have to and drink water!!!!

~word count 1405~

-your sarcastic short person

-Jenny