Chapter Seventeen: Despair

Alexia wakes up from her time in the game, takes off the goggles and wipes the sweat off of her forehead with her sleeve. She's now eighteen years old, but even so, she's small enough to be mistaken for a thirteen to fourteen year old. Her snow white hair is also just as long as it's ever been, and has gotten even longer in the past six years. Her bright red eyes sparkle like gems in the light of the sun piercing through her hospital room window. And with her porcelain-like skin, she almost appears to be a large doll.

She struggles to sit up on her bed. Recently her body has been getting weaker and weaker as the days pass, making the young woman slightly nervous. She breathes a heavy sigh, then reaches and picks up a book resting on the nightstand next to her. Alexia opens up the book and begins to read fervently.

"I hope that Arthur gets here soon. I'm supposed to get my hair cut for the first time ever by Erica and I want to show it off. She better not screw anything up otherwise when I die, I'm coming back to haunt her."

At this point in time, Alexia knows that her time is almost up, and has accepted that fact. With all the tests they've run, the doctors in the hospital neither have nothing in terms of a cure for her illness nor do they have a way to prolong her life any longer. Alexia had been told this several months ago, and her brother was also told. That being the case, Arthur decided to spend as much time as he could with his sister. Arthur was saddened, but Alexia showed no change in her behavior when she was told. She knew that this year was probably going to be her last, and she too wanted to spend what little remained of her life with her family.

Even with the shadow of death on her doorstep, Alexia reads her book excitingly, and tries not to worry about what happens after. Her eyes fill with excitement with climatic scenes in the book, she almost sheds tears with the emotional scenes, and her face becomes flushed red when she reads some of the more steamy and passionate scenes. She continues reading into the afternoon, but becomes increasingly worried as the sun starts to sink below the horizon.

"Where is he? Shouldn't he be here by now?" Alexia asks with a concerned expression.

Meanwhile, outside of her door, Lauren and Erica are talking, "This is horrible," says Erica softly so as to not let Alexia hear.

"What are we going to do? What are we going to tell her?" asks Lauren with a face that looks as if it's about to be brought to tears.

"I don't know. If we tell her, it's going to crush her heart. But, she'll probably learn about it eventually, with how much fun the press is having with it."

"Maybe… we don't tell her. Maybe we can say that her television needs to be replaced. If she finds out, there's no telling…"

"I know Lauren," says Erica clenching her fists, "But… I'm like a mother to her. Her real mother is probably drowning in her tears right now, so I have to be the one to tell her."

"Erica, you said it yourself. If you tell her, it's going to break her. She's already been through so much. I don't think she'll be able to take this," Lauren pleads.

"She's not dumb, Luaren. Even if we tell her a lie now, she's going to learn about it later. You should go. I've known her longer than you and she views me like she views her mother. This is my responsibility," Erica says solemnly.

Lauren nods her head, and walks away. The nurse reaches for the door to knock, but then pauses inches away from it. She grits her teeth, takes in a deep breath, and finally works up the courage to knock on the door.

"Come in!" she hears from the other side. Erica opens the door to see Alexia sitting up eagerly on her bed with an excited smile on her face, "Hi Erica. Huh?" Her excited smile quickly turns to a confused expression, "Um, where's Arthur." Alexia watches Erica as she closes the door, and then notices the sad frown on her face, "Erica, what's wrong?"

The nurse sits down on the bed with her, "Alexia… there… isn't exactly a… great way to tell you this. But, your brother isn't coming."

"What's wrong? Did he get held up at work or something? Because if he did that's totally fine…"

"No. He wasn't held up. He was... in an accident."

Alexia freezes out of fear, "Is he alright?" Erica doesn't answer. Instead she just looks at the floor, "Erica, is my brother okay?!"

The nurse clenches her fists and shakes her head, "When the ambulance got to him… he was already…"

"NO!!" Erica looks up to see streams of tears coming from Alexia's eyes, her fists are clenched, and her face has contorted into an angry expression, "Shut up right now!! My brother isn't dead!!" Erica can only look away from Alexia, "He can't be… he can't be dead. He's the only true family that I had left. He's the only one who comes to see me." Tears continue to flow like waterfall down her cheeks as she becomes swallowed by despair, "No… He's alive! I know He's alive…"

Finally, she can't hold it back anymore. She sinks her face into her hands and begins to sob uncontrollably. Her wails of sorrow can be heard by every other room in the hallway her room was a part of. Erica quickly embraces Alexia, and Alexia does the same as she cries into her shoulder. Erica grits her teeth, but is also unable to hold back her own tears.

Alexia continues to cry for hours. She's now laying down on her bed with a red, expressionless face, and seemingly lifeless eyes, devoid of light. One can see the marks on her face where she had been crying, and the tears continue to flow out of the corners of her eyes. Erica stands overtop of the young girl, and can't help but be reminded of a doll as she looks into her lifeless eyes and expressionless face. Erica knew that this news could shatter Alexia's heart, but not to this extent. Her eyes contain no light, no love, no hope, nothing but despair.

Alexia herself, who was already worried about her upcoming death, is now trapped in the pits of hopelessness and anguish, "He was coming to see me," she thought to herself, "Why? Why did he die before me? He was coming to see me because I asked him to come over today. Does that mean that it's my fault?"

"Alexia, I know what you're going through. I know that you're in pain right now. But you still have me don't you?" Alexia doesn't say anything in response, "Alexia…"

"Go…" the girl mutters, "Please leave me alone."

"If you need anything, please just call me," she says, walking out the door.

Alexia is left in the quietness of her room, trying to absorb all of the emotions that she's feeling