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Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific

[This world is steeped in mystique.] [Vampires, werewolves, technology, magical potions, ghosts, bioengineered beings, divination, and puppets; every terrifying element you could conceive of, exists in this world.] [One must carry a lantern when stepping outside.] [One must never wander far.] [Ten meters beyond the gates, darkness will consume you.] [Whether attending to humans, ghosts, or stitched monsters, one must maintain composure at all times.] [Should you ever lose your composure, it will give rise to malicious intent.] This is the translation of the Chinese novel "Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific". It's a horror comedy with more comedy than horror. I hope you enjoy it.

Fish9527 · Book&Literature
Not enough ratings
100 Chs

He's Force-Feeding Himself!

The constant alerts echoed in Lynne's ears. In less than two hours, Lynne, following the potion book, concocted over a dozen terrifying and peculiar potions. To improve the taste slightly, Lynne dug out a bottle of aged wine that his master had treasured for years. Everything was set.

Lynne dragged out a rocking chair, placed it in the backyard, and reclined comfortably on it. A sip of the viral potion, followed by a sip of the old wine, his expression relaxed (* ̄︶ ̄), swaying gently with a contented demeanor.

[Ding! You've been poisoned! Your life is rapidly decreasing, expected to perish in 20 minutes.]

Gulp—

[Ding! You consumed a healing potion, granting a temporary boost to your life force.]

[Ding! The virus is violently ravaging your organs. You're expected to succumb to various complications within 15 minutes!]

Gulp—

[Ding! You consumed two potions, granting a brief revitalization to your life force.]

In merely a matter of minutes, Lynne, smirking, stretched out his arms, feeling the myriad of indescribable symptoms ravaging his body.

There were over a dozen different types of pain alone, not to mention the itching, burning, melting, freezing, and fever. It felt like countless ants crawling within him as if someone was relentlessly pumping air into his chest.

"Heh, heh, heh—If it were any normal person, they'd have died ten times over by now!"

Lynne sneered, grinding his teeth. It was now a battle of sheer willpower.

Lynne started the stopwatch. He set it for twenty minutes. If there's no reaction in twenty minutes, then another twenty minutes it would be!

...

Soon, the first twenty minutes were almost over. Apart from the numerous complications coursing through him, Lynne hadn't felt any other irregularities within his body.

With gritted teeth (〝▼皿▼), Lynne chugged down bottle after bottle of antidotes and recovery potions.

Thud—

He slammed the table, grabbing more potent toxins nearby.

"Another!"

...

Time swiftly slipped away, approaching the end of the second twenty minutes.

Lynne's left hand twitched sporadically, but he hardly noticed, as not only was his left hand shaking, but his entire body was trembling too. His complexion oscillated between shades of red, orange, green, blue, and purple.

"More... more!"

With trembling hands, Lynne weakly consumed yet another antidote.

...

The third set of twenty minutes.

Lynne, in a paralytic (((;꒪ꈊ꒪;))) state, lay rigid on the rocking chair. The terrifying simultaneous outbreak of symptoms all over his body was almost comparable to the infamous tortures. His left hand, twitching, exuded a strange yellowish liquid.

But in his (((;꒪ꈊ꒪;))) state, Lynne was entirely oblivious to the abnormality of his left hand. There wasn't a part of him that seemed normal anymore. He was nearing his breaking point.

"More... more... still..."

Unable to articulate, he still bravely reached for another bottle, preparing to pour it down his throat.

...

Finally, nearing the end of the fourth twenty minutes, a distinct, slightly shaky system prompt echoed in Lynne's ears.

[Ding...??? Fear of you +...+10... ]

His left hand had long been twitching, with foam bubbling from the palm. But Lynne, in his (((;꒪ꈊ꒪;))) state, was unaware.

"More... more... I can still... go..."

Lynne, in his (((;꒪ꈊ꒪;))) state, tried to reach for the pesticide bottle placed a bit farther away. The system alerts in his ears became increasingly frantic.

[Ding! ??? Fear of you +10]

[Ding! ??? Fear of you +11]

[Ding! ??? Fear of you +12]

In an almost uncontrollable manner, his left hand violently grabbed the armrest of the rocking chair, wrapping around it tightly. The center of his palm suddenly split open.

Blargh—

Endless foam poured from the mouth on that hand o(x﹏x)o. Clearly, it was at its limit. Overdose! He had overdosed!

But Lynne, in his (((;꒪ꈊ꒪;))) state, had fully short-circuited. He stubbornly crawled forward, dragging the chair with him, reaching out for that pesticide bottle.

"I... I can still..."

System: "!!!"

Left hand: "Waaaaah! (ΩДΩ)!!!"

[Ding! ??? Fear of you +15]

[Ding! ??? Fear of you +20]

Just as Lynne was about to grab the pesticide, his frantic left hand OДQ frantically pulled in the opposite direction, spewing copious amounts of white foam, leaving a long, slimy trail on the ground.

He's overdosing! He's really overdosing! Is this host a maniac?! It had never encountered a host that was so keen on destroying itself. Antidote! Antidote! It couldn't take it anymore OДQ!

Finally, the trembling left hand lunged forward, elongating its wrist just enough to reach the antidote. It desperately unscrewed the cap and began pouring the liquid o(╥﹏╥)o into its mouth. Halfway through, it instinctively turned its gaze towards Lynne on the other side.

Left hand: "Whaaaaa! (ΩДΩ)!!!"

Its fur instantly stood on end. While it was hastily guzzling the antidote on one side, Lynne, on the other side, was relentlessly pouring the pesticide down his throat.

Glug—glug—

And judging by his pace, he was doing it even faster. Damn it! It felt like the entire hand would burst.

[Ding! ??? Fear of you +10]

[Ding! ??? Fear of you +10]

In this crucial moment, time was of the essence.

The left hand grabbed the antidote bottle, tremblingly pouring its contents down its maw. Even if it wasn't particularly susceptible to the effects of the poison, the overwhelming quantity being forced into their shared system was excruciating. Overdose can create problems even if there aren't any to begin with!

At last, after finishing the antidote, the left hand lay exhausted, its tongue hanging out as if it were malfunctioning. It hoped to recuperate for a moment. But suddenly, it sensed movement from the sinister body behind it.

"Eh?"

The hand instinctively turned with trepidation.

To its horror, it saw Lynne (((;꒪ꈊ꒪;))) desperately wriggling on the ground, reaching out towards an unopened bottle of poison from the nearby collection.

Witnessing such an unwavering determination to end oneself could bring tears to anyone's eyes.

Left hand: "Waaaaaaah! (ΩДΩ)!!!"

[Ding! ??? Fear of you +20]

[Ding! ??? Fear of you +20]

In that instant, the left hand desperately clung onto a nearby pillar. With a crackling voice, it screamed: "Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!!!"