The servants' passages
After the fabulous lunch, the Duke and I walk back to our quarters in silence.
I can sense his stares, from time to time, but I don't turn even once. This time, I am the one ignoring him.
The Duke opens his mouth to say something, but he changes his mind for the umpteenth time.
«How long will you avoid looking at me?» he asks, in the end.
«I'm not avoiding you,» I reply, and I turn to him to prove my words. I look into his eyes with a cold, unemotional expression, and I don't waver until he moves his gaze away.
«I wish I could explain,» he whispers, maybe not to me. He's staring at the distance, lost in his own thoughts. His desperate expression is flawlessly in place, showing me a gentle aspect I don't believe is genuine.
«Why would you?» I utter, annoyed by his behaviour. I am the victim here, but he is whining and complaining about my heartlessness.
«Because I don't want you to think of me as a monster. I had my reasons for not stopping the war, Theodora. I indeed asked the Emperor to let you live, but I didn't win a war only for that.»
«You don't have to explain anything. I am your prize, and prizes don't ask for explanations.»
«Would you have liked more if you were executed?» he mumbles, now slightly upset. «Is death better than staying with me?»
«I've never had a choice, your grace. And an execution sure is shorter than this. It ends after a few minutes, while marriage is supposed to last years. That if you don't get tired faster.»
«I won't get tired of you.»
«Even if I'm as cold as now?»
«No, I won't change my mind. I'll let you have all the freedoms you want but one.»
«Let me guess: leaving.»
«You guessed correctly. At least, until I figure out something that has been bugging me for quite some time.»
I wait for a few moments, hoping he will tell me what that something is, but he stays silent.
«Why me, though?» I inquire, trying to find out how crazy he is. Does he have a rational motive, or he just wanted an ex-queen?
He walks me to the door of my chambers, where I find my maids waiting for me.
«We've prepared the bath for you, your grace,» Patricia says, curtsying. «I added lavender aromas, as your grace instructed.»
The Duke leaves after pecking my cheek as if nothing was wrong between us.
After the bath, I dry my hair near the fire while reading a book. I ask for some paper, and I scribble on it absent-mindedly.
I remember an old poem that lovers use to read one to the other. It was actually written by a general to declare war. Yet, since it's pretty short, it gives space to many interpretations.
I write it down and tell one of the maids to deliver it to my husband. Let's see what he interprets.
I lie down in bed early, claiming that I'm tired. It has been a busy day. My schedule for once wasn't empty, so the maids don't doubt me for a second. They turn the lights off and leave the room in silence.
I count up to a hundred, and then get up.
I change into one of my comfortable gowns and light a candle with the flames in the chimney. I've seen the doors the help uses to travel around the castle, and tonight I'm going to explore them.
It's still early, so the maids and servants must be working full-regime. I walk fast as far as I can from my chamber, and I only relax when I start to see strangers' faces. I reach a region where my face is unknown, and I slow down. I still attract the stares of these people because of my exotic dress, but at least they don't dare to approach me.
Soon, the hallway is warmer and darker, and I start to scent food being prepared. I haven't eaten enough at noon, and I skipped dinner because of my complicated mood. It looks like a wise idea to visit the kitchens.
They're not different from those in Polis: huge, crowded and noisy. The perfect place to pass unnoticed.
I look around and see one of the Duke's servants waiting for his master's food. I turn around a corner before he has time to recognise me, and I glance back to check how much food is he carrying.
When I'm sure that the Duke will eat alone, and not try to involve me in his dinner, I sigh relieved and continue to explore.
I look at the way the cooks cut the meat and the hurry of the servants delivering supplies or ready meals. They run as fast as they can, but this Palace is too large for them to arrive before the food is cold.
At least, the Duke's wing is close to here, so our food is always warm and delicious.
I open a random door, and I step in with the most natural movements a human being can have.
I observe the stairs with suspicion, but in the end, I go down.
I arrive in a cellar full of barrels. On each of them, there is a year and some signs for the servants to know what's inside.
In a corner, there are thousands of dark bottles. I grin, examining them with a keen eye. I catch a couple and head back to my room.
At the end of my exploration, I've found the way to reach the kitchens and what will become my hidden source of wine.
I've chosen what looked like the best quality among the bottled wine, and I hide one in a piece of furniture that is to my exclusive use.
I open the other bottle and sit in front of the fire, looking at the flames and sighing in peace. I fall asleep after the first glass since I've already had one for lunch.
The tolerance the Duke mentioned is still too far for me.