I believe I've written enough to ask for your honest opinion on this novel. Write a review about these first fifteen chapters. Things are going to pick up from here so I want to know if there is anything I should be wary of going forwards. And any mistakes looking back. Alright that's all, hope you have a good read.
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The gloom was quiet for a moment, its silence laced with incredulity. It was as though I had spoken some sort of backwards language and expected an answer. Or maybe I am exaggerating a bit.
[Are you an idiot?]
Nope never mind I got it perfect.
[I asked you if you had chosen yet. Think about the context of a question before asking useless questions and just answer me.]
I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the level of hostility I was receiving from the gloom. However, remembering our first meeting I realized it was likely we wouldn't ever get along.
So instead, let's just placate it for now.
"I have, it's the pile to my right. Can you see or locate that?"
I was slightly unsure of what it was going to do but I assumed it would do something like what it did with the meat that Tyvelia had given it during our first encounter.
Key word, I "assumed".
A hatch on the strangely shaped locket popped open, revealing an empty black interior. For a moment, both Scola and I waited silently for the gloom to take the items.
As seconds became a minute I began to become skeptical as to whether it needed help with something, however such skepticism was a waste of my time.
*FWOOOOOSHHHHH!!!*
A black smog spilled forth from the locket, rushing out of its depths with the deafening roar of gushing flames. I took a step back to reach up and fumble with the locket; however the tips of my fingers touched the black fog and were torn off by the sheer pressure the fog was being expelled with. The skin around my neck burned as the silver wire it was attached to began to burn up, causing my skin to smoke.
"AAAGGHHHHHHH!!"
"SCOLA! YOU NEED T-!"
As I screamed to Scola, hoping to have her cut the locket from my neck, I saw that she was eerily calm. She showed no fear. Not a single ounce of worry.
Her mouth parts calmly moved together as her raised legs continued to undulate like normal.
So I grit my teeth, focused my energy, and redirected it all to the points where the necklace was in direct contact with my skin as the roar of the spreading fog surrounded me.
Then, moments later, it stopped.
The burning rush of fog simply and abruptly stopped.
The fog simply floated on the cave floor as I slowly stood up, I wanted to take the necklace off and throw it in the pool. However I could feel that returning without it might be a poor choice.
The green glow coming from my neck didn't stop though. I was guessing that the locket was going to recall the black fog, and when it did it would be just as bad as when it expelled it.
And so my prediction came true as the locket began to siphon the fog, roaring black clouds collecting beneath my feet and enshrouding me like a cloak it inhaled every single wisp.
The now cool steel began to burn cold, my pores freezing over as my skin once again steamed.
I clenched my hands so tightly that my nails cut into my skin. The veins in my arms began popping up as muscles within my palms cramped and spasmed. I could hear my teeth grate as I clenched my jaw shut as to not bite my tongue.
However I didn't even let out a whimper.
Nothing could compare to the overwhelming pressure Tyvelia had exuded.
Nothing.
Then, the black stream of fog that rushed back into the locket disappeared. And with little more than a click and a clink, the locket snapped shut.
I gasped in a breath as I tore my fingers from my cramping palm, a viridescent brilliance lighting and closing my wounds.
I was on my hands and knees as I barely managed to suck in my next breath.
After a few moments of heavy breaths, I manage to move into a sitting position, looking up at Scola.
She came in close, her black eyes holding a candle of warmth as she laid her head in my lap.
I couldn't smile, but I breathed a sigh of relief. Her gaze was congratulatory.
Whatever just happened, I was definitely not supposed to remove this thing at all throughout it.
"Haaaahhhh"
For the third time today, I exhaled steam. Is this even healthy? Actually do I even follow the human definition of health anymore? I don't even have a heart!?
"Forget it" I whispered in a low voice. Now that I wasn't in agony, I had a couple of questions.
"Gloom."
Without even the slightest questioning of its place in Tyvelia's cave hierarchy, I called its name.
"First the orb incident, then this. Why do you interact like this with me? Is pain a language to you? Because if I ever find out I can inflict it on you we'll have a fluent discussion."
Silence pervaded the now empty cave. The glooms fog had taken everything silver. And given how full the bag looked now I am guessing it took my stuff into the locket and placed everything else back.
However none of that explained why there was a need to put me through all of that.
Then, the glooms voice sounded out through the cave.
[It is because Tyvelia ordered this. And the orb incident was out of my control. If one cannot comprehend my form, I appear as an orb. But the information relating to my true form is still perceived, thus causing you to freeze up as your mind abandoned lower functions such as movement in an attempt to understand me. I had no part in any discomfort caused by that.]
Its voice was no longer apathetic, instead slightly wary in nature. As I slowly turned over and digested the information, I heard a wet squelch.
One of Scola's bladed arms pulled something out from the side of the bag, revealing that she had impaled a round green and yellow fruit. She then placed it on my hands, blue juice dribbling out the opening and down onto my fingers.
I pulled it off the sharp tip, tearing the fruits skin on some of the bumps and ridges before taking a bite.
It was sweet, yet tasted a little sour below the skin. The skin itself was indeed edible as well. There was also no core full of seeds, and instead there was just a bunch of tiny strawberry sized ones littered throughout the "meat" of the fruit.
Feeling a little bit refreshed, I patted Scola's head, causing her to move off my lap. I then stood up carefully, feeling for any pain or residual issues.
However I couldn't feel anything out of the ordinary.
I lit up the green glow in my hand, illuminating my slightly blue fingertips. This power really didn't disappoint. Though I'm not sure about freezing up and having to concentrate when I need to use it heavily.
It at least gave me a chance. A little chance to make a difference at the right time.
"Alright Scola, let's get back. That fruit started up my stomach, and now I'm beginning to get hungry again."