Hanging out with friends

Friends.

How do you even define friends? Does getting to know each other count as friends? Does it require certain qualifications to be friends with people? Was it based on pure emotions or a cold or cold calculating beneficial relationship? The time spent with one another? Eating lunch together chatting about things that doesn't really hold real purpose? When in trouble you help them and get helped in turn?

I don't know. If there's anything closest that I could call my friend, it would be my online friends in an MMO. But with my admission to this school, even contact with them is strictly prohibited. I'm pretty much a loner at this point.

"...so that's why. Can you help me, Amami-kun?" A cute girl with a pleading gaze look into my eyes.

This girl's name is Kushida Kikyou. The most popular girl in our class talented in studying, sports, and social communications. It is not n exaggeration that if you ask anyone who is the most trusted person in class, the answer would be Kushida. Even Hirata is not at that level since most of the boys envied his popularity. Kushida is on another level of popularity being in good terms in both boys and girls alike.

I was invited by her to eat wth her during lunch. She even declined her friends just to have exclusive lunch with me one on one. It earned the girls fantasizing about our relationship. If a boy and girl that aren't in a relationship goes to lunch just the two of them together, it would only be natural to think they're going to be a potential couple. It even wouldn't be exaggerated to call this a date. The reality is that Kushida just wanted to ask for my help.

"Oh yeah, I spaced out a bit. What was it that you want?"

"Geez, you're not listening aren't you?" Kushida pouted cutely with her hands on her hips.

"Sorry, sorry, forgive me this time." I raised up half a hand on my face with one eye closed asking for apology.

"Well I guess I shall forgive you." Kushida said smiling again.

In other words she wanted me to set up a meeting that Horikita and Kushida might get to know each other and became friends.

"That sounds simple enough. But are you really fine with me? I think Ayanokouji would be better candidate for this. I think he's much closer with Horikita than I am." I said.

"It's fine. Didn't you know Amami-kun. You are in the top of the hot guy rankings. Congratulations! By the way, Satonaka-kun in Class A is in first place. Hirata-kun's in second. The third and fourth place boys are in Class A. I feel like Hirata-kun gets lots of points because of his looks and personality." Kushida said.

Maybe she thought I was self depreciating myself. So Kushida's trying to cheer me up. I appreciate her efforts, but I'm not unconfident of myself.

I have a love-hate relationship with my appearance. I don't really hate how good looking I am, in fact I love it myself. I just had insecurities on how other sees me like a girl.

I think it started when I confessed to a girl I liked, but they couldn't see me as a man because I'm too beautiful and feminine than her. After that I swore to myself to be more manly. I even researched and practiced the way I speak, my body movements, and worked out my muscles.

"What's up with that? You have rankings?" I asked.

"Well, there are lots of different rankings, you know? The hot guy rankings. The rich guy rankings. The creeper rankings. And—"

"Okay, that's enough. I don't think I want to hear any more."

I've heard about Sotomura ranking the girl's bust sizes, girls I'd want to date, and girls for fap material. I never thought we also got rankings like that from the girls.

I managed to catch an eye to one of the rankings listed on Kushida's phone. In there there's a ranking for "Boys Who Should Die".

I shuddered to think about it, girls are terrifying creatures.

"Anyway back to the topic. I don't really think even with my help, Horikita would agree to be your friend. For me I just happened to get along with them. I could say for myself, if there's one thing I'm confident in, it would be my luck." I said.

"I see. That means that won't do huh." Kushida looks saddened by my words.

"Like I said earlier, why not ask Ayanokouji? He's perfect for this role, don't you think?"

"Mm! Thank you very much for hearing me out, Amami-kun!"

And so we ate our lunch together.

•••

One afternoon when going home.

Hirata invited me out to hang out with some of our classmates.

We interacted and chatted anything that comes to mind. I'm not a good talker so I mostly keep quiet to myself, only speaking up when somebody asks a question or for my opinion on things. It's like I'm physically there, but my mind is somewhere else.

'I want to go home and watch the latest episode.' I found myself thinking this way.

For some reason, I found myself not fitting in with this kind of socializing. I think it's just not for me.

Kushida is amazing to even had the ability and drive to socialize like this like it's natural. For me I found myself pushing myself too hard to fit in.

"Are you alright Amami-kun?" A girl came asking me with concern on her face. If I remember it right, her name is Matsushita Chiaki.

"Oh, yeah. No worries." I deftly answered.

And so the peaceful days continued.