webnovel

Cosmic Janitor

A man on a hospital bed was offered a job by a god. Said god introduced himself as a "god of amusement and entertainment." The man unhesitatingly accepted; what was the reason? He was bored. Having lived his life to the literal fullest—parachuting, skydiving, racing, boxing, and other adrenaline-pumping activities—left him exactly in his condition—a crippled, sick, BUT bored man in his middle thirties.  Join him in his wild adventures as he battles devils, zombies, and all sorts of crazy stuff you can dream up while lying in bed. Updates: It depends on my workload. Also, on my cat's mood. Suggestions: I've got some "worlds" planned, but feel free to suggest a game or anime world that needs some serious "cleaning." Disclaimer: The characters mentioned are not mine, except the OCs. Especially not the Book Cover.

ChrisTian3421 · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
80 Chs

Dual Wield

(Katsuo POV)

Waking up the next day, I sat up in bed feeling groggy, my head pounding slightly from the previous night's celebrations. As I rubbed my eyes, I felt a movement beside me. Turning my head, I saw Lisa with her striking blue hair spread across the pillow and her naked figure partially covered by the sheets.

"Morning," she said casually, stretching and yawning as if this was the most normal thing in the world.

"Is this... normal?" I asked, still processing the situation.

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Of course. I mean, with our line of work, you'll accumulate stress faster than normal, you know. And besides," she added with a smirk, "I've read your profile, playboy."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "Touché. Still, I didn't expect to wake up like this."

She grinned and sat up, her demeanor completely relaxed. "Well, now you know. Sometimes it's just easier to unwind this way. No strings, no complications."

We spent a few more minutes talking, sharing light banter and teasing remarks. Despite the unexpected start to the morning, the conversation flowed easily, and I found myself enjoying her company even more.

"Oh, one more thing," Lisa said teasingly as she stood up and began getting dressed. "You're in for a surprise when you get back to your 'home' world."

I raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "A surprise? Care to elaborate?"

She shook her head, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Nope, you'll just have to wait and see. Let's just say things have changed a bit while you've been away."

"Great, now I have something else to look forward to," I said with a grin, getting out of bed and stretching.

Lisa finished getting dressed and headed for the door. "Come on, get ready. I have a lot to do today, and I can't wait to see your reaction to your 'home' world."

As she left the room, I took a moment to gather my thoughts. The past year had been a whirlwind of training, missions, and unexpected events. Now, with a promotion to B-3 and a mysterious surprise waiting for me, the journey ahead seemed even more intriguing.

With a deep breath, I got dressed and prepared for the day, ready to face whatever came next.

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A bit later, I found Lisa in her office, busy with her usual tasks. I knocked on the doorframe to get her attention.

"Hey, Lisa, I've got a question," I said, stepping inside.

She looked up from her desk, raising an eyebrow. "What's up?"

"What was the grade of my previous mission?" I asked, curious about the challenge level.

Lisa leaned back in her chair, a thoughtful expression crossing her face. "That was a low-tier B mission. Why? Was it too easy for you?"

"Honestly, yes," I replied, a smirk playing on my lips. "It felt like a walk in the park."

She sighed slightly, shaking her head. "That's thanks to your half-devil physique and your cheat-like skillset. With Shunpo, Summoned Swords, Earth and Lightning Manipulation, and not to mention your Judgment Cut and Rapid Slash, you have abilities that go beyond what most agents can even dream of."

"Well, I appreciate the confidence boost," I said, crossing my arms. "But I need something more challenging. I can't improve if I'm not being pushed to my limits."

Lisa stood up, crossing the room to stand in front of me. "I get it. I'll talk to the higher-ups and see about getting you something more suited to your... unique talents. But remember, not every mission is going to be a cakewalk. You'll face tougher challenges soon enough."

"I look forward to it," I said, my eyes gleaming with anticipation. "Bring it on."

She chuckled, giving me a playful shove. "You really are something else, Katsuo. Just make sure you're ready. The next mission might not be as forgiving."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," I replied, my excitement palpable. "The tougher, the better."

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With a spring in my step and a new challenge on my mind, I made my way to the simulator room.

The Threaded Cane, a recent acquisition, hadn't gotten its debut in my last mission, and I was eager to test its capabilities.

Entering the simulator, I keyed in my settings, summoning a horde of orcs. The room transformed around me, becoming a dense forest clearing filled with the guttural growls and heavy footfalls of orcs. I gripped the cane, feeling its weight and balance, then with a flick of my wrist, transformed it into its bladed form.

"Alright, let's see what you can do," I muttered to myself, eyes narrowing as the first wave of orcs charged.

The orcs, towering and brutish, crashed through the underbrush. I took a deep breath, centering myself, then launched forward. Shunpo carried me into the midst of them, the Threaded Cane slashing out in quick, precise arcs. Its versatility was astounding—switching from a cane to a whip-like blade allowed me to maintain distance while delivering lethal strikes.

I spun and dodged, using Rapid Slash to cut through clusters of enemies, the blade moving so fast it left afterimages. With a quick shift, the cane snapped into its extended form, wrapping around an orc's neck and pulling it into a fatal slice. The horde seemed endless, but I was relentless.

"Judgement Cut!" I shouted, creating a burst of slicing energy that tore through a line of orcs, sending limbs and weapons flying.

The battle raged on, my movements becoming a blur of lethal precision. Summoned Swords darted around me, impaling any orcs that got too close. The kill count on my interface ticked upward rapidly, each number a testament to the Threaded Cane's deadly effectiveness in my hands.

As the last orc fell, the forest clearing fell silent save for my heavy breathing. I stood amidst the carnage, the Threaded Cane returning to its cane form with a satisfying click.

"Not bad at all," I mused, wiping sweat from my brow. The cane had proven its worth, and I felt a sense of accomplishment wash over me.

Feeling a surge of confidence from my recent triumph, I decided to push my limits further. The idea of dual wielding both the Adamantine Tachi and the Threaded Cane had been tickling the back of my mind. Why not give it a shot? After all, the simulator was the perfect place to test new techniques.

With the Tachi in my right hand and the Cane in my left, I approached the simulator's control panel. This time, I set it to summon a hydra—a formidable opponent with multiple heads, each capable of spitting venom or fire.

The room shifted around me, morphing into a dark, swampy landscape. The air was thick with the stench of stagnant water and the distant roars of the hydra. I took a deep breath, steadying myself.

The hydra emerged from the murky depths, its multiple heads swaying ominously as it regarded me with cold, reptilian eyes. With a battle cry, I charged forward.

The hydra lunged, its heads snapping at me with terrifying speed. I used Shunpo to evade the first strike, appearing on its flank. The Tachi sliced through one of its necks in a clean, precise cut, while the Threaded Cane extended to wrap around another, pulling it into a devastating slash.

As expected, the severed head began to regenerate almost immediately. I had to act fast. Summoned Swords appeared around me, launching themselves at the hydra's heads to buy me some time. The combination of weapons allowed me to maintain both distance and close combat, switching between defensive and offensive tactics seamlessly.

"Judgement Cut!" I roared, sending a wave of slicing energy towards the hydra. Several heads were severed, but I knew they would grow back quickly.

The hydra retaliated with a spray of venom from one head and a burst of fire from another. Using Rapid Slash, I darted between the attacks, the Tachi and Cane moving in harmony. I struck with the Tachi, then used the Cane to deflect and control the hydra's movements, keeping it off balance.

Earth manipulation came into play, creating barriers and platforms that allowed me to maneuver around the beast, striking from unexpected angles. Despite the hydra's regeneration, I was relentless, cutting down head after head, each strike more precise and powerful than the last.

In a final, coordinated assault, I used both weapons simultaneously. The Tachi delivered a deadly horizontal slash, while the Cane extended and twisted, slicing through the remaining heads in a whirlwind of steel. Summoned Swords delivered the finishing blow, piercing the hydra's body and finally bringing it down.

Breathing heavily, I stood amidst the swampy battlefield, both weapons dripping with the hydra's blood. The simulator deactivated, the landscape fading away to reveal the pristine training room once more.

Lisa was waiting, as usual, her expression one of impressed amusement. "Dual wielding, huh? Ambitious."

I shrugged, wiping the sweat from my brow. "Had to see if I could pull it off. How'd I do?"

She chuckled, handing me another towel. "Not bad at all, Katsuo. Not bad at all. You've definitely earned those 300,000 points."

I grinned, feeling a sense of accomplishment. "Thanks, Lisa. Can't wait to see what else I can do."

"Just don't get too cocky," she warned, albeit with a smile. "You've still got a long road ahead."

"Don't worry," I said, sheathing the Tachi and retracting the Cane. "I'm ready for whatever comes next."