2. I Don’t Wanna Love You Anymore

Sunshine feels so hot in his skin. James wakeup in the middle of the day. Walk stager to the bathroom. Threw all the liquor he drank last night. Still in the tux, he wear to the party last evening. Wash his face and realize that he drinks 2 bottles of wine to get over his ex. Everything was scattered on the floor.

James sits on the couch and looks in the corner while his mind flies away reminiscing Christy, the woman who supports her for almost 2 years. His phone ringing so loud and break his daydream. He didn't pick it up and just look at it till it stopped. Waiting until five minutes and look at the notification bar. There was Ed, he called and sent text almost 10 times.

James was too deep in his dream. He looked at the phone but his mind still a mess. There's a voice note from Ed, he played it with a loudspeaker and left it playing while he back to his couch.

"Yo, James. I've finished my job today and there's a reporter who wants to interview you. I can't give them your address but I give her your number. Get yourself out of your goddamn apartment and fresh up your mind. You act weird last night, called me if you need everything okay? Catch you later."

Silent, James think about it for a second. He just wants to lay down all day long. For 15 minutes he just looked at the ceiling. Is this over? Something so innocent is this the end? His mind is in a total mess. He gets up and walking to the bathroom, try to cool his head off with cold water. Water fell off from the shower simultaneously with tears feel from his eyes.

Opened the fridge and get another beer. Turn on the computer and checked his recent mail. So many emails came but he didn't open them at all. James moves the cursor to the heart shape folder, opened up all the memories. Once again he hurt himself with the sweet memories, but it feels so bitter right now.

With all the smiles and the laugh that they spent together was just an old story right now. Why she's said that all of the sudden? He starts to gather all the courage and opened his last chat with Christy.

'James, I don't know what to say. I love you for sure, but I think we didn't belong to each other. Let us see our relationship this past year. We have our own business to do. We never hang out talked and I just it doesn't feel fun anymore. I'm happy at first, every minute that I spent with you is precious and there's no question about it.'

'You didn't do anything wrong. I just think we can't be on the same "train" again. I hope this doesn't make you blame yourself. We should carry on our lives and if you call me, I will help you whenever you need me as a friend. I love you from the bottom of my heart.'

James didn't want to cry again, he drinks his beer in one gulp. His finger wants to type in his little phone, are we gonna end just like this? But he changed his mind and get up. Opened the door and try to get rid of all the communication and go to the balcony. Watching the beautiful sky so bright but in the beauty of the blue skies, there are dark cloud came from the north. Make him remember, all the good things in this world came along with all the bad things.

Light up his cigarette and think about how to move on from his ex. Every time he tried to forget her, the more he remembers. Life is very paradoxical to think about. Every ironic thing happened in life.

His last cigarette starts to move closer and closer to his finger. While watching the sky starts to turn orange and the bird starts back to their lair. James put off his cigar and grabbed his jacket and sweatpants. Grab his phone and keys and headed out to the convenience store. Opened up the door and he was shocked, a woman is waiting in front of the apartment door.

He almost can't believe what he sees. Suited woman with an id in her neck. Her perfume is so sweet like maple syrup, very sweet and makes James speechless. He watches her from bottom to top.

"Excuse me who are you?" James asked if he looked for the wrong apartment.

"Oh, sorry. I'm looking for Mr. James Nathaniel" She gives him her ID.

"Mrs. Diana. . . Christie??"

"Yes, is something wrong?"

James looked at her ID for a minute, what a coincidence. Christie, why so hard to get away from that name. He mumbling in his mind, and still have no idea why she came to his apartment.

"I'm sorry, you didn't say anything for like 2 minutes. I'm the reporter, from the daily news."

Finally, he remembers everything, "Ah, you are the reporter Ed talked about. How did you know my address?"

"Mr. Edward send me your number but I called 30 minutes ago and you didn't answer my call, so I asked him again and here I am," she's so energetic even this is out of her work times.

James wants to let her came in but when he looked back at his place. It more likes a bunch of crap there. So he brings her to the café in the next blocks. Walking with her make James forget about his ex. A little chit chat in the road, makes his smile starts to appears. After an hour spent time crying until makes his eyes dry. At least a little bit of relief and realize what's done is done.

Suddenly James thinks about his Ex last word, we can't be on the same train. He looked at the skies and said to himself, 'Yes you're right. From the start, I never thought I said this before, but I don't wanna love you anymore'.