Chapter 1

Sometimes I wish to cut open my skull, find my fears and kill them.

Being Jacintha Fergus Kore, my life had always been pretty much apparent. Like, it seemed to be cool and peaceful but it isn't always the same as what joins the eye.

As the teenage age bodies are believed to be more generous in the terms of secreting hormones, kids my age often come up with illogical inquisitions that question one's sense of individuality and existence. And for some reason, I couldn't relate to that.

So far, everything had been predetermined for me. I never had to worry about finding my existence. As my existence, my name, my school, everything had never been selected my be but still miraculously be mine. I was, simply put, a high school senior who was adopted by Hemsworths' at the age she didn't even remember. And when my new guardians died, I was put under the charge of an unknown woman. And, indeed, I was made to take care of my pseudo brother. All without my affirmation or disagreement.

I don't care about 'who I am?' but 'Why I am who I am?'

Right now instead of cramming for my last year at school, I was playing the part of a good sister to my apparent brother, Zachary Hemsworth.

Or more like, I was the apparent one. The adopted one, the intruder, the parasite, because of whom this miserable boy's parents died.

I never got to know Laurel Hemsworth; she was deemed to be dead since I was adopted. But, Mr. Hemsworth was the closest thing to any father figure in my life. I may say, he wasn't my father and the reason I still stuck with Zach was only due to the money Iwas receiving for it. But, I really missed something perhaps, only the sense of security he provided. Or a feeling I never learnt a word for.

"I love you so get well fast." I squeezed the 15-year old's hand and made my way to my shift at the Shropshire groove, a nursery ran by the family of Tessa Shropshire, the character I was playing best friends with.

I was still underage and under the guardianship of some old woman called Kelly Ora, a distant aunt of Zach who didn't pay for anything besides the house and the electricity. So, even though the job of a babysitter was annoying and kind of disgusting, I needed the bucks it gave me.

I found Tessa's boyfriend, Josh leaning over her and kissing her, passionately.  Josh was a football player, the senator's son and to top all of that, extremely loyal and handsome, of course. Totally Boyfriend Material.

"Hey! Hey!" I screamed, "I announce, Ms. Kore has arrived. "

They both looked at me and Tessa smiled while Josh awkwardly bowed.

"Hey." He said and I smiled, " So, Tess, I gotta go. You guys have fun."

"Jac, I love you and all but are you-" She began. 

"Okay, okay. Enough of that. Now, where are the kids?" Josh was my boyfriend back in middle school. And then something happened which I couldn't remember and here we were. Tessa knew that and honestly, I didn't mind. He and I were over, long ago.

"Jacintha. I want to talk to you. " She once again began her rambles about if I wanted she would leave Josh.

"Tessa, baby. You know he loves you and you only. And I will assure you once again, I don't love him. And I will never love him."

She smiles and says, " I believe in you but I wanted to say that we might close the nursery."

I spun towards her and exclaimed, " What? Why?"

"Because Dad got a job in Seattle and we will be moving  there."

"Are you guys sure? Seattle is a very expensive place to live in."

"It's covered by the company. We will be getting a house and a little ration allowance. It's a nice opportunity. " She explained.

Don't get me wrong I really care about my friend. But I didn't have a say in how I feel at a moment. It's decided by an unknown party I never got the opportunity to meet and greet, it or them, whatsoever. I have a deep red sentiment lurking in my stomach. Needless to say, I don't want to feel dejected but they should have considered my condition before firing me so easily and that too, without any prior notice.

With an unwanted frown, I said, "Oh, That's good. But, you should have told me earlier." I gave her a dry smile.

"Look Jac, I am so sorry. But, Dad just got the notice. Yeah, I know you have bills to pay but please consider our situation. After all, we are best friends." Not to be rude, but I kind of feel I was doing this bestie stuff with her only because of the reason of us being best friends. You may say, Everyone does that because they are best friends.

But, I doubted that I wanted to continue this because I want to or because I just feel a need to do.

But, still, for the sake of seven years' memories, I said, "I am not mad. Besides, you guys can't stay chained just because I need your payment. You have your own life." That is the thing about talking. You can't always say what you choose. In fact, you always say what you think is good and nice to others' ears.

"I knew you would understand." Sounded like you didn't understand me at all.