Chapter 10: The type of world we live in

I felt paralysed. I didn't want to even remember what I had just read. I gripped my hand in my phone and stared at the email I had received.

"It smells good." Jane smiled and walked back to the room, holding two mugs in her hands. I glanced up at her. She had such a beautiful smile. "What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing, I just have to go. Sorry, sweetheart." I remarked and gave her a kiss goodbye. I pulled her closer and kissed her again in case this was the last time I could ever kiss her.

I must have read that email wrong. I rechecked it while I walked out. No, the leader of D.T.A. must have sent it to the wrong email. I reread it. Surely this couldn't be right. I threw the hood of my jacket over my head and started walking away from Jane's apartment. There was a new update in the mission.

Break her heart. That was all that the email said. Break her heart, I repeated in my head. It was a direct instruction from the leader. Short, simple and straight to the point. Why would they make me gain her trust just to break it in the end? I hadn't found any information on who might have killed my brother. Jane knew nothing and believed it was just an accident. There was nothing useful to D.T.A. going on in her life. Why did I even have to get involved?

The idea of breaking up with Jane felt worse than being stabbed. She had finally learnt how to trust me and believed that I would never hurt her. Now I had to break her heart. I looked at the infinity sign on my wrist and felt numb. I was such a fake. I didn't know who I was anymore.

Why? Am I being relocated? I'll just disappear and never see Jane Randall again. I need answers. She has nothing valuable to D.T.A., so she doesn't need to be hurt. I can start a new mission. Just leave her out of it. I typed and sent my response to that email. I walked all the way back to the orphanage but still no reply.

"Taine? You're home early." My mom smiled. I ignored her and walked over to my room. Not know, mom. "Honey, are you okay?" My mom asked. She had followed me to my room. I scratched through my draws and shoved my gun into my back pocket. What was I going to do? I didn't know how to feel. I was angry and bloodthirsty. Maybe if I kill everyone who knew about this mission, I won't have to hurt Jane. It was a solution.

"Taine." My mom stated and grabbed my arm to stop me from searching for my bullets. "You can't leave with your emotions all over the place."

"Do you know who the leader of D.T.A. is?" I questioned.

"No. Why are you asking about our leader?"

"The mission has taken a turn that I can't complete. D.T.A. ordered that I… hurt my target. Mom, I… love her." I cried and looked down so that she couldn't see my tears.

"Sometimes, you have to put your responsibility above your emotions. I know you feel this way about the target, but your job is more important right now. Your duty is to D.T.A., not your heart." She stated. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My mom was always all about love and sweetness, yet now she wanted me to obey my orders. I pushed past her and walked away. It was late afternoon, and the sky was overcast with grey clouds. A soft, dry breeze blew as cars drove past the orphanage. A white van skid to a stop and 4 men jumped out of the back. I didn't think much of it until they all stared my way.

"You are coming with us." The one-man remarked. I pulled the gun out from my back pocket, but they all charged and disarmed me. 4 against one? That was pretty unfair. Guess it's up to my lucky knife.

"You should have done your research before you decided to come after me," I smirked and prepared to fight. Did I practice these lines in the shower so I would sound cool? Yes. Yes, I did.

A man stepped forward and threw a punch. Another tried to grab onto me from behind. I kicked one guy while I dodged the punch and struggled against the guy behind me. Fists were flying. The men all grunted and swore. I was punched in the nose, which made my eyes tear up. Mother flippers! I tried to use my lucky knife, but they seemed to dodge all of my moves. My skin split on my knuckles, and some idiot punched my diaphragm, which winded me. My adrenaline was starting to act against me. I couldn't breathe properly; my heart was racing, and I was beginning to tire. Even the side of my torso screamed every time I moved. I managed to kick a guy in the jaw and break another's nose. These guys were professionals. Two grabbed me from behind and held me captured, I tried to break free, but I was too weak.

"Stop fighting." A woman shouted. I didn't even notice her climb out of the van. She stepped closer to me and pressed a gun to my forehead. She looked so familiar, but I hadn't met her before. Her straight brown hair reminded me of Jane. My gorgeous Jane. She was probably worried why I hadn't messaged her.

"What do you want?" I barked and groaned as I tried to move closer to her. The woman looked like she was in her 40's and smiled. Even her smile reminded me of Jane. I probably just had Jane on my mind.

"Tisk tisk Shiv. So demanding. I wanted to know why you had the nerve to question my instructions."

"What instructions? Who are you?"

"Who am I? Can you believe this boy?" The woman asked, and all the men chuckled. "I'm the leader of D.T.A., the boss of all the bosses. Bag him." She ordered, and the men shoved a black material bag over my head.

"Wait! Wait!" I shouted as they pushed me forward and shoved me into what I assumed was the back of the van. I disobeyed the woman's instructions. She gave me an order, and I couldn't complete it. I failed the mission, and now I was going to pay with my life. I guess there's no option when it comes to being an agent for D.T.A.

"Where are you taking me? Am I dead? Why are you here?" I questioned. The men held me down against the van floor. It was cold and probably metal. The smell of sweat filled the van as all the men climbed in. I was pushed to sit against the wall, and the bag was yanked off my head. The rain started and hit against the metal roof of the van.

"Listen, kid and listen well. You were given a mission that I chose you specifically for, now you decide to shove my orders up your ass. This mission will not fail because I chose the wrong person for the job." The woman started to explain. I opened my mouth to respond, but she held her gun up against my head. "Uh, listen. You have no right to demand that I explain myself. You work for me, got it? A simple bloody mission. Meet, date, breakup. It's something people go through all the flippen time in their lives. Yet," She chuckled. "I never would have guessed you decide to go ahead and lose your sanity over a girl."

"I wouldn't have guessed that either," I stated.

"You don't do the whole 'just listen' thing very well." She shook her head. "You will go break that girls heart. You will rip it out and shred it into a million pieces. You will ruin her trust for the rest of her life so that girl doesn't just easily open up to people ever. You will teach her how to permanently protect herself and never to rely on a man for her happiness. Taine, you will show my daughter how the world works when I cannot."

Daughter?! Did I hear that correctly? Jane's mom died in the car crash. What was this woman going on about?

"Ha, yeah. You heard me. I hadn't said that word in so long. Jane is my daughter."

"No, Jane's mother died 2 years ago," I remarked. This woman was crazy.

"To the world, I died, yes. My people dragged my body out of that car, and when I woke up, I was informed everyone had passed except for Jane. I wanted to go to my daughter. I swear that's all that I wanted. Yet, I knew she didn't belong in my world. My husband and I were always agents for D.T.A., and that made Jane a target. If our rivals believed I was gone, then they wouldn't go after her. I stayed away to protect her. Do you know how pathetic I feel not being able to teach my daughter how life works? I have to send in a child to do it for me. Now you won't even finish the mission! You know what? Fuck you." Jane's mom snapped and pushed the safety forward to diable it.

I guess she was right. Being part of D.T.A. meant that there was no space to be a good person. That's why I was pulled in. It's a life I wouldn't wish on anyone, even Nemis. That rat. I understood why her mom let everyone believe she was dead. It made life so much easier to be an agent and clearly was an advantage. I mean, heck, this woman made her way to the top. Jane was so good, and her innocence was something I loved about her. She would have never fit into D.T.A. Her mom had already lost her husband and two other children, so giving up her last child must have been horrible. That takes strength. An incredible amount of strength.

In the end, she was right. This world chews up good people and spits them out broken and alone. If there was a chance that breaking her heart would protect her, then fuck, it's a chance I'm willing to take.

"I'll do it," I mumbled, and Jane's mom looked confused. "I'll break your daughter's heart."

"Excellent. Why don't you do it right now?" She asked. The man next to me pushed me towards the back door of the van. It flew open, and I tumbled out. I landed in a puddle of muddy water, and the rain poured down on me. We were outside Jane's apartment, and the van parked in front of the neighbour's driveway. I got up and let the rain wash some of the mud off of my skin. My clothes were soaking wet, and the sky represented how I felt.

I walked over to Jane's front door and knocked. I used the rainwater to rub the infinity sign off of my wrist, then knocked again. The door flew open to reveal a beautiful, confused Jane.

"Oh, my soul! You're soaking come inside." She smiled. My heart ached at the sight of her smile. She looked so happy to see me. I was about to ruin that smile.

"No, just stay inside. I'm fine here. I… came here to… break up with you." I stated.

"Yeah, right. Come inside, silly." Jane laughed. I stared at her for a few seconds longer, and realisation dawned on her face that I wasn't joking. Her smile faded. "What are you talking about?" She asked, worry filling her voice.

"I can't be with you."

"What did I do wrong? Please, Taine, we can sort this out."

"Fuck it, Jane. Don't be pathetic and beg me to stay. I'm not even worth your tears. I can't open up to you, and I don't trust a single person in this world. I have and can only care about myself." I snapped. Tears started to run down her face, and my blood started boiling.