Special Chapter 32 Cloud Spiener Part 1

What am I going to do? Should I ignore her or not? They are not together for years besides Red is happy with Rackie so it should be okay however is it okay? She's my best buddy's ex-girlfriend. I can't say it to Air, I'm sure I'll hear some sermon from him who seems to have a frustrating dream to be a priest. I can't say it to Sapience, that guy will laugh at me and I can't say it to Radiance because he is Shine's ex-boyfriend.

Haist! What did I get into? Why did I fall in love with my friend's ex-girlfriend? Now, I'm problematic how will I date her, how will I go out with her without us being noticed. It's not that I'm ashamed when I'm with her, it's just that I'm confused about what will I do.

"Love, what are you thinking?" Shine asks me which made me go back to reality.

"Sorry, what were you saying again?" I asked.

"Won't you be disappointed if you knew that—"

"No!" I irritably replied. It's annoying to be asked the same question over and over again after what happened between us. "You explained already, I do understand. Besides, I'm not really into that and that's not what I want from you."

"But that's what I want from you!"

I crooked my forehead and looked at her. "What do you want from me?"

"For you to love me wholly." She said while crying.

I sigh. "I love you, Shine but I can't always show it in the way you want me to show it." Sometimes when we talk about it like this, I want to shout at her and slapped on her face how much I love her and she doesn't need to ask me over and over again.

"Why aren't you asking me if Red and I did it?"

Why am I not asking her that question? "Because I know Red…" I replied even though I saw how Red was out of the mood the whole day when he and Rackie almost do it but was stop. I turn to her and hug her tight. "Stop crying, okay?"  I said as I coax her and then wipe her tears. "Promise, I won't leave you. I just can't find the right timing to tell my friends about us but mom and dad approved you, so it's okay."

She pouted. "Your mom knew that I'm Red's ex-girlfriend, how can you say that she approves of our relationship?"

I hold her hand. "If not, she can't do anything about it."

"How can you say that?" she asks pouting her lips.

"It's like this…" I whispered the words I want to say to her. She slapped my arm. "Do you think they can do anything about it?" I said laughing.

"As if you can say that to them…"

I laughed. "Why not? They were young when they created my eldest sister."

She also laughs. "What if they found out what happened to me, my past?"

"They will understand. Not to mention that my mother is also female so she will understand."

"I don't want to be pitied." She suddenly said raising her voice.

"Huh? Were being sustained and living under that by the Lord." I said, I just said what Rackie said before.

"You know what, the moment you knew Rackie, she became a big influence to all of you."

I was stunned. "Is she a bad influence on us?"

She smiles. "No, I can say that all of you became better people when she came into your lives."

I smiled. "How can you say that?"

"Even though Red broke up with me before then became in a relationship with Rackie, Red and I became friends because of Rackie and I can sense that Rackie is a good person. Air stopped to be a womanizer, Sapie dared to say what he feels towards Levi then you, and you became close with your parents because of her." I'm surprised by what I heard. "You know what, that's my plan when Red and I were together however our relationship isn't that smooth like how smooth Red and Rackie's relationship."

I felt sad about what I heard from her. "Do you regret that you haven't done it and Rackie was the one who has done it?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm happy that she was the one who did it because I can't do what Rackie can and how can she maintain it that way even though she's not around you."

I smiled instead she'll feel jealous of Rackie, she admires her wherein the real reason why Red broke up with her was that Red fell in love with Rackie wherein no one knew just only us, his friends. "Aren't you mad to Rackie before?"

She thinks about it. "Maybe at first, I got mad however the moment I saw her being nasty to Red, my impression of her is wrong."                               

I nod as I agree with her. "Did you know that before Rackie became Red's girlfriend, she had this background checking from Red's past relationships?"

She looked shocked by what I said. "I can't do that. I'm feeling jealous if a girl asks Red what time is it then does a background check on his past relationships? I can't do that! She's unique!"

I chuckled. "You want to know what are the questions Rackie asks?"

"What are her questions?" she curiously asks.  

"How many girlfriends did Red have? What are the names of her ex-girlfriends? Is he friends with his exes? The reason for the breakup." I said. "If you'll be there that moment, you might be also got an interview, she has a lot of questions that we were all caught off guard."

Shine was shocked. She didn't expect what she heard. "What was her reaction while she's asking Red?"

"Hmmm… normal, it's like a normal conversation. We the listeners were all shocked but Red was annoyed by the questions Rackie asks before."

She chuckles. "What a waste! I should have been there so I witness all of your reactions!"                               

I am staring at her and eagerly want to kiss her but we were in a public place I can't take the risk, I don't want to receive a slap because she doesn't want a surprise kiss, especially on the lips. She's so cute that I'm triggered to kiss her right now.

"Why are you staring at me?" she said while smiling.

I bow down, it seems like I was caught my crush staring at her, and don't know how to avert my eyes. I scratch my nape then smile.

"You're thinking of something…" she said with her warning tone.

I shook my head. "Nothing, I just thought that why didn't I notice before that you're beautiful and so kind. Now, I'm hoping that I'm your boyfriend before instead of Red if I was the one who courts you."

She laughs. "Why are you so sentimental now?"

"I'm just annoyed whenever I think that Red was your first of all."

*It's been years since Red and Shine broke up but they are okay when they meet. Red is now happy with Rackie.

"Cloud, is that you?" someone asks from the hallway of the university where I work.

I crooked my forehead. At first, I didn't recognize her because I'm not used to her having ponytailed hair and wearing makeup. "Shine?" I ask to make sure.

She smiled. "You're teaching here?"

I nod. "You, what are you doing here?"