#17
[Note: *Asterisks* around a word indicate that it wasn't translated by his Polyglot skill.]
"You want a what?" I say incredulously.
"I want a saddle for Mittens." Apricot beams up at me.
"Oh, I heard you. I just don't understand why. You can fly, after all."
"Oh, just make her one." Amelia says. "It'll be cute."
"Sorry, little man." I reach down to pet the kitten on the floor. "One pixie sized saddle coming right up. What's next? You gonna have me dress him up in silly little outfits... Oh, I shouldn't have said that. I should not have said that." I do my best Hagrid impersonation after seeing the gleam in their eyes. "Run little guy! Quick before it's too late."
"Don't you dare!" Amelia scoops him up as I try to shoo the poor soon-to-be fashion victim outside.
"Ooh, I know!" Apricot lands on Mitten's head, and starts scratching him behind his ears. "Make him look like a little bunny, with floppy ears, and a fuzzy tail."
"A bunny, eh?" I snap my fingers. "Like this?" Nothing happens to mittens, but the girls get a bit of a makeover. Holographic ears and nose on Amelia, while Apricot gets the whole bunny girl outfit.
"What? Nothing happened!" Apricot says before looking up at Amelia who started laughing. "Hah!" She barks out. "Wait... Why are you laughing?" She looks down at herself. "What the hell is this?"
"What'd you do to me?" Amelia conjures an ice mirror that they both use to examine their new looks. "You forgot the horn." She says with a smile that sets her nose twitching.
"Sorry, keep forgetting rabbits have horns over here." A pearlescent pink nub grows in the middle of her forehead before swiftly spiraling out to ten centimeters long. "Better?"
"Much, thank you. And, not all bunnies, just the cutest, fluffiest ones do."
"You still haven't answered me." Apricot huffs. "What is this abomination?"
"It's called a bunny suit, or bunny-girl outfit." I explain, shifting her suit from polished black to bright pink. "Some nightclubs and bars would make their waitresses wear them to bring in customers."
"Nightclub? Is that like a brothel?" Amelia tilts her head causing her new ears to flop to the side.
"Not for the most part, but I'm sure some were, my world had a lot of stupid hang ups and laws about sex. Nightclubs are basically dark taverns where with a big dance floor, too loud music, and too expensive drinks."
I conjure an image of a stereotypical club. Dozens of people crowded around a bar, dozens more grinding along each other under multicolored strobe lights. Tables line the room with even more people standing around them. All the while, a half-dozen Apricot clones saunter around with trays of drinks.
"I was never really into the club scene, and this type of place would more likely have their wait staff in mini-skirts, or something similar." I change the Apri-clones. "But there was a place called the Playboy bunny club where they all dressed like that."
"That's fascinating. But, would you get me out of this ridiculous outfit already?" Apricot grinds her teeth.
"Oh, my." I gasp. "But, Amelia's right here..." A twinkle in my eyes at what I've seen and done to the pixie with Amelia right there.
"Argh!" She blushes before shouting in frustration. "Stupid bloody perverted lunkers!"
"Would you quit teasing her already?" Amelia says off-handedly while leaning down to examine the dancers.
"I thought you didn't want any more clothes." I tease her. Releasing the spells and replacing them with a dress up simulator for her to play with. "Just tap on the piece of clothing you want and it'll appear on the image of you. Or drag stuff around to mix and match."
"This is amazing." She gushes. "Why didn't you do this before? I thought you said you never paid attention to clothes from before."
"It's the last level up, I think I must have reached some sort of threshold for my mental stats." I explain. "My memory is so clear now, even on stuff I never paid attention to. So, recreating all these clothes feels like child's play."
"I'd be so jealous right now if I didn't have you to make all this stuff for me. Ooh, those gowns are beautiful."
"Remember the movies I told you about? The actresses would wear stuff like that to premieres and award ceremonies." I pause for a second. "The white ones you're looking at now are wedding gowns."
"Fashion on your world is so fancy." She breathes out. Even Apricot seems fascinated, so I make another dress up game for her.
"Ooh, do you now. And, Mittens." The tiny woman starts playing around with random combinations of clothing.. "You can make this stuff work with my wings right?"
"Yeah." I sigh. "Sorry little guy, I tried to distract them." I pet the oblivious feline. "Here's every animal costume or clothing I've ever seen."
"How are there so many?" The tiny woman gapes at the sheer magnitude of pet costumes I have locked in my mind.
"Ah, yeah. It's because of one of my people's great pastimes. Looking at cute pictures of cats. We didn't have magic but we could record and share images with anyone in the world. And, we mostly shared pictures of cats... And naked people, lots and lots of naked people." I make their dolls nude for a second.
""Hey."" They growl at the same time.
***
Screeee-Thud! "Oh, for fucks sake! Not again." I moan. "How is that cat still alive? It's like everything wants to kill it, and he's just running around completely oblivious to it all." This is the fifth attempt on his life, first hawk though. There's been two horned rabbits, a snake, and some weird fox thing. I put a shield on him after the first rabbit tried to skewer the poor guy, and have had to keep it up since.
"Damn, I was hoping for another rabbit." Apricot chimes in. "Those first two were tasty."
"..." Amelia just sighs and puts the remains in her inventory, then picks up the little death magnet from the seat beside me. She was completely freaked out after the first attack, and the second. Since it came seconds after he jumped out of her arms after she tried hugging him too tight. Now, she's barely got it in her to give out a resigned sigh. "Looks like you're having poultry for dinner, Mittens. Hope it goes well with the snake you had for lunch." Turning to me after placing him inside with a piece of string to play with, she adds. "Thank you for keeping the shield up. And, if I ever suggest stopping for lunch at "such a beautiful clearing" again. Please, feel free to ignore me."
"It's not your fault." I put my arm around her and she slumps into my side. "We both should've realized something was up when those boys told us he walked out where they were throwing rocks, instead of running away like any normal cat would."
"It's like he doesn't recognize danger at all."
"Well, yeah. He doesn't even raise a fuss when the two of you play dress up with him." I ruffle her hair.
"Hey." She waves her hand limply, like she wants to swat me but just doesn't have enough energy.
"Look, it's not your fault; something was clearly off about those critters. There's probably a new predator in the area that messed up the balance. And, just think of it as practice." I take her hand and kiss it. "Babies are pretty much the same way. Everything wants to kill them, and they're too stupid and weak to do anything about it."
"Ugh. I don't even want to think about babies, yet. So glad Temmie lets us turn off reproduction, and the bleeding, if we want. Thank you so much for that, Temmie-chan. You're the best!"
*Ding* A self satisfied tone.
"We've got all the time in the world." I tickle her belly with one of my vines. "But, your parents have already started dropping hints"
"They have?" She looks panicked.
"It's been subtle. Mostly some pointed looks and a couple comments when your mom is playing with mittens."
"Ack. How did I miss that?" She grabs hold of the vine that's now petting her stomach. "Can we even... you know... with the Plantkin thing?" She's more worried than panicked now.
"The option was on the list I read, but there was no information about them." I stroke her hair back and kiss the top of her head. "Given that Plantkin are all born Awakened, and well... their unique culture, and the places they tend to live. I just don't think it's ever happened before."
"Unique. Hah!" Apricot erupts in laughter. "They're a bunch of fucking weirdoes, even for walking plants."
"Hush." Amelia snaps at the tiny woman. "Sorrel's not like that, and our.. b-baby won't be either. Right?" She looks up at me, eyes wavering.
"Don't worry, I think that's mostly just how they're raised. If your parents treated you like a houseplant, you'd be a little weird too." I chuckle at the look of relief that shows on her face. "I am kinda interested in how *DNA* and genetics works here, with all the magic and everything. Will our kids gain some of my extra growth, or get the stats I would have had as a regular Plantkin. Any tips Temmie-chan?" *Ding**Ding* "What do you mean spoilers? Oh, fine."
"That's a good question, but what was that stuff you were talking about?" Amelia questions.
"Oh, spoilers are like when someone ruins the end of a book for you before you finish reading it." She just stares at me. "What? I thought it was funny. Okay, okay. Think of *DNA* as a list of instructions a creature uses to make itself. And genetics as the study of how those instructions pass along. Like how you have your mother's looks, but your father's eyes. It's really complicated, and even with my boosted memory; I still don't know more than the basics."
"Your world must have been so amazing; you were able to do so much, even without Magic. I want you to teach me everything."
"I plan to." I re-assure her. "And, I've been thinking about creating a library too, now that I can recall seemingly everything from my past life. I just need to find a good way to secure it. There's a lot of knowledge that can be very, very, dangerous. For every great thing my world had, there were dozens more that were much worse."
"I want to know more now, though." The pretty blonde woman whines.
"Me too." Apricot joins in.
"Yes, Ma'am... Ma'ams" I joke. "I suppose it all starts with the Scientific Method..."
***
"Mittens." Amelia sighs. "That is not your mamma." She walks over to the kitten that trying to nurse on an old hound dog, a male hound dog. "Sorry about him." She apologizes to the inn keeper.
"Don't worry about it Ma'am, old Butch there wouldn't hurt a fly." The man says from behind the bar. "He don't do much now, aside from sitting in front of the fire the past year or so."
"Aww. Sorrel, can you do something?" My girl pleads.
"Let me take a look." I stand up from our table and walk over.
"Don't stop the video; it's getting to a good part." Apricot says. Her eyes glued to the Tinkerbell movie playing in a virtual movie theater on top of the table. I even popped some corn for her and got some melted butter from the inn's kitchen.
She quickly lost interest in my science lecture the other day, so I decided to stretch myself and re-created the old Disney cartoon for her. Translating that in real-time while carrying on a conversation simultaneously was... interesting. A few new skills helped out once they leveled up, but it's still a bit of a drain. And, I had to be extra careful when changing fairy into pixie. It helps that fairies in this world look more insectile than the human-featured pixies.
She loved it so much that I had to tell her only one new movie a day, at least until I level up a bit more. I can replay the movie with ease once it's been translated, so she watched it on repeat until I went to sleep. And, bugged me for a new one as soon as I got up the next morning. Sticking with a theme, I gave her Hook next. She jeered at Tinkerbell's crush but blushed when she looked up at us.
Today she's on the C.G. origin story. Luckily my little sister made me watch all of these with her. Well, I didn't feel very lucky at the time, but if it keeps a pixie happy now, it was worth it. Not sure what I'm gonna do when I run out, though. Hope she likes the other Disney cartoons, I guess.
"Don't worry." I re-assure her. "Playback is easy; it's translating it the first time that takes focus." She just keeps stuffing her face with popcorn.
She still hasn't noticed the small crowd of children behind her, and didn't even care about showing herself to the inn keeper. I think I may have turned her into a movie addict, but it should be worth it if she can make some new friends.
"Hey there Butch, how ya doin', boy?" I kneel down and ruffle his ears. "Mind if I take a look? I might be able to make you feel a bit better." Questing out with my nature magic, I let it flow into and through the old dog. "You're an old one aren't ya, boy?"
"He'll be fifteen this winter." The inn keeper says, walking up to join us. "Afraid it might be his last." A hitch in his voice. "He's been a good dog. Can you do anything for him? I'll pay whatever you want."
"Age is age, and there's not much I can do about that. But, fortunately he's in fairly good shape." I smile at the man. "The big problem is his joints; it just hurts too much for the big guy to walk around much. But, I may be able to help there. Here boy, I've got something for you to drink."
I set a bowl on the floor in front of Butch and fill it with Healing Sap that's laced through with my nature magic. As the dog drinks, I guide the healing energies into his bones and cartilage. Strengthening and restoring them, respectively.
"That's a good boy, just a bit more. You're already feeling better, aren't you?" His tail starts wagging as he laps of the tonic.
Done with what I can do for him orthopedically, I guide the rest of the healing to take care of some minor issues. He's got cataracts, but I remember that's not a major issue for dogs, and don't really want to mess with the eyes incase I make it worse, somehow. So, I left his eyes alone while doing what I could for the rest of his body.
"There you go Butch, that's some good stuff, huh?" I turn to his owner. "He shouldn't be in pain anymore, but he's still an old dog. Take good care of him and he should last a few more years, at least. And don't worry about money, it's not really an issue for us."
"Oh, Sir Mage. I can't thank you enough." He drops to his knees and starts hugging and petting Butch. "If you won't accept coin, then know that you will always have a room here, free of charge whenever you need it."
"Sounds good." I say and give the dog one last pat on the head before walking back to the table, Amelia in tow. "And what are we going to do about you, little guy?" I address the grey tabby in her arms. "You must really miss your momma, if you were trying to suckle that old guy."
I take out my trusty bundle of cotton and fashion a stuffed cat based on a Siberian my mom had when I was a kid. Thing was a pain in the ass, but made up for it by curling up on me when it was cold out. "You still need some eyes, luckily I've got plenty of silica."
"Oh, it's so fluffy." Amelia pets the doll while I'm making marbles. "Look Mittens, this can be your new momma." She puts him down next to the doll just after I insert it's new glass eyes.
"Look at him go." I laugh. "Sorry, bud. But, she doesn't have any milk for you, and you're a bit old for that now anyways." He doesn't seem to care though.
"I've never seen a cat with such long hair." She keeps petting it as Mittens kneads and suckles at the belly. I made it as realistic as possible, so even the fur feels just like a real cat.
"I modeled it after a cat my mom had. The breed is called a *Siberian*, it comes from, and is named after a place with very cold winters." I explain. "Hers was a pain most of the time, but it was good for cuddling with. Seems that Mittens agrees."