Story 2: Her Mother's Story

Jessica stretched her arms in the air and smiled of the dream she just saw. Her dad walking again and mom sitting beside her eating ice cream as they were used to. She sighed when she opened her eyes and was shove off to my reality. The faded colour of the wall was visible through the torn wallpaper. It was the same wallpaper of lilies she and her dad put up three years ago. The same year her mother died. She died on her own birthday. If not to make things any more worse, the day she graduated from middle school. She looked up and realized what had waken her up. It was the not-working ceiling fan. She looked at the switch and it was on.

'Fuck! The power's gone again!'

She sighed again when she was reminded the things she has to do. She got up, went to her dad's bedroom who was sitting on the bed with his legs stretched straight. His legs were covered with the old brown blanket.

"Hi Dad." She greeted him while avoiding the dream she had recently in her head. Her dad was walking!

"Oh, hi Jessica!" Her dad answered.

She stopped walking when she looked under his bed and noticed the urine bag and it was almost full.

He must've noticed her looking at his urine bag, "Must be the effect of beer I had yesternight. It happened in night while I was sleeping. Maybe twice."

That explained why it was almost full. This was happening more often than before. He used to wake up from his sleep and shout out Jessica's name so that sje can make him able to go bathroom through wheelchair. But for the past couple of months, this was happening more and more.

She went to the kitchen and realized that it had been quite a time since she's cleaned this room. She had been so busy. With school and it's work and her own work didn't spare any time. She had to work even on Sundays for part time in that 24/7 Mart. The same day which was meant to be the cleaning day of the house. But since the start of this academic year, she is working more and more to save money for college.

She took the urine bag from the cupboard and went to her dad. She changed the urine bag wearing long-used dirty gloves which made it itchy. She immediately threw the gloves in the laundry bag. After doing that, she helped her dad to sit on the wheelchair and went in the kitchen to cook breakfast. Bacon and eggs with toasted bread. While the bacon was being defrosted, she had went to get herself a quick shower only to realize that the shower is not working properly now.

'Fuck!!!! I had to have a bath from bucket and mug!'

Soaps were out too so she had to use rest of her little left shampoo. Dad couldn't have a bath today. Good! I can reach work early. But he needed to have a bath after peeing in the urine bag. But no can do.

She came out covering herself from the towel. When the bacon was done being defrosted, she fired up the gas and put the bacon on a pan with some oil and spice. This reminded her that the gas cylinder will be out soon. While it was being cooked, she got ready wearing a deep neck, sleeveless green gown. The colour was fading out from the back so she wore sleeveless yellow jacket. The bacon was burnt a little but not so much. She knew she shouldn't have paid much attention to green spot on her jacket.

She made two plates and pushed her dad's wheelchair to the old creaky dining table where they both sat beside each other. She had some time so she didn't rush into eating her breakfast. Bacon and eggs with toasted eggs were fine. It was great at first but then it felt like nothing. Of course, this was an effect of eating it daily as breakfast. She still remembered the taste of chicken noodles her mom used to make. Those were her favorite noodles. And it was tasty too. She should've learned from her. Yet sbe couldn't make it since she barely have any time.

"Dad, there's some leftover of pigs blanket in the fridge. So heat 'em up if you feel hungry. While coming, I'll bring some cup noodles for lunch. U watch TV okay?" He gave me a nod. She kissed his forehead, wore her only footwear i.e. her black sneakers and went out of the house.

She started walking while listening music to school. The distance was though less, she really hoped to have a car or one of her friends to pick me up. But they all live so far away from her.

A song just played on shuffle and she stood still for a few seconds. It was Shape of You. It was one of the few modern songs which her mother really liked. She still remembered she and her dad dancing on that song after cutting the cake for my mother's birthday moments before we found out that she hung herself in the attic. She shuddered at the thought of bugs on her mother's toes and fingers in the attic. Things took a drastic turn after that. Her father couldn't feel his legs anymore when he fall from the steps a couple of days after they had buried her mom and hence couldn't work. Now all of the financial burden was on her head. Their house has got old. It creaks and stinks. There's nothing new from the past three years and hence almost everything reminds her and maybe her dad of mom. If they wanted to get over her, they needed some changes. But they couldn't afford it though.

She reached and saw that her friends' car isn't there so she stood there waiting for them. She noticed some people staring at her. Maybe because she wore that gown just three or four days ago.

'Fuck 'em! I am way over to care about people and what they think. I am seventeen. I can do what I want.' When Jo's car came and parked, she was thankful as it was almost time for her class. Chloe along with Martha used to come from Jo's car as their house was in the same way as of Jo's. She noticed Erica's cycle wasn't there and she didn't come too. This was odd. She used to come early. Earlier than the three of them.

"Where's Erica?" Jo asked when she along with Martha and Chloe joined her at the school's entrance.

"I dunno." She replied.

"Her cycle isn't here." Chloe mentioned to which they all nodded. Chloe was apparently a little dumb.

"Maybe she's skipping today. I dunno. Let's get to class. It's almost time." Martha insisted and they all went inside. Jessica honestly wasn't so fond of Martha. She wondered why was Martha even their friend. She once helped the four of them in a group assignment when Mr. Jopaz assigned them to do it together. And since then she used to hang with them.

They reached the class and just when Mrs. Rigenda started to call out the roll number, Erica entered in a rush.

"I am so sorry, Mrs. Reginda."

Mrs. Reginda gave her a nod to which Erica came in and sat beside Jessica in the first row second column. Apparently, Erica aced Maths and so Mrs. Reginda didn't mind Erica being late that much.

"Where were you?" Jessica whispered.

"I'll tell you all in lunch okay?" Erica snapped to which Mrs. Reginda shushed at them.

Erica was quiet in between classes and totally ignored her friends' questions like:

"Where were you?"

"Erica?"

"Is everything okay?"

"Are you gonna leave us hanging here?"

"Cut it out, Erica!"

Jo held Erica's hand to which Erica stated, "Everything's fine, Jo! I'll tell you'll in lunch break, okay!"

After this, no one said anything to each other.

It was lunch and the girls took their lunch and sat at their table. Apparently, Jo was more of a fierce girl so no one dared to sit at their table. Their group had every character:

Chloe- The dumb

Martha- The optimistic and free minded

Jo- The fierce

Erica- The secretive

Jessica- The caretaker

They all sat and looked at Erica. Erica realized it was the time she explain why has she been acting all weird.

"Okay. Um.. The reason why I was late was because of a hangover. Umm... I had a party last night." Erica tried to explain.

"Why didn't you ask us to come?" Jo asked.

"It was more of a family party..." Erica trailed.

"Family party? Since when do you be a part of family gatherings?" Martha asked which made Jessica frown.

"Yeah. The last time you were a part of it, you were bored the hell out of it!" Jessica said.

"It was more of a party which held between me and my parents only. We kinda celebrated me being a woman."

Erica said confidently.

"What do you mean Erica?" Jo asked confused.

"Yeah, you are already a woman." Chloe said.

"Erica. Be more specific." Jessica demanded.

"So... I um.. just came out to my parents....." Erica trailed.

"Came out?" Chloe asked while everyone gasped. "What?"

"I am speechless, Erica. You never told me!" Jessica shouted.

"Yeah, we were supposed to know this." Jo said.

"Yeah." Martha agreed which made Jessica's frown even bigger.

"What does 'came out' means?" Chloe asked and then shouted, "You're gay!"

"Guys, calm down." Erica said in a low voice.

"Yeah. Everyone could hear us!" Martha said.

"They've already did!" Jessica snapped

"It's not that I am worried about Jess. I mean I already did told my parents which was the hardest stage. I did that first so that telling you guys, being called names which all are the previous stages, I would feel okay to them." Erica explained. "I was scared to tell you guys. But not as scared as telling them. So I did that first. You know overcome the biggest fear types."

There was a moment of complete silence on the table as they looked at each other. And then Martha finally said, "Well, fine Erica."

"Wait. You guys are okay?" Erica asked.

"Of course we are, Erica." Chloe said.

"Yeah. We would've been a little more angry if you hadn't been so good at explaining things." Jo said.

"Explaining my ass. Erica, you should've told me this before." Jessica says this and stands up to leave.

"Jess, wait! You're only making this harder. Don't do this." Erica insisted.

"Erica don't! Leave it!" Jessica shouted and left.

Jessica was angry but not just because Erica came out to her friends. But because the first thought that came into her mind when she did.

'Does that mean we can be?'

Then Jessica couldn't stop herself remembering the things she wrote.

'It's the first day of high school and I was scared shitless. I was constantly worried about my appearance. Even though it was nothing to be worried about, I was. I was always worried whenever it was the start of something new. But I needed a change. My mom's dead. This is probably the hundredth time I am writing this so yes I needed a change. But how can I not be afraid if I know that the change I am seeking for will be changed by a new change? I thought I would die in my own circle of thoughts when Erica came to rescue me; as always. I can't even think of living my life without her. If she wouldn't be in my life, I would be unwilling to go school tomorrow. Because today sucked. It was boring. But still it is Erica from which I have the strength again to go school tomorrow. She made me laugh and was always beside me. She didn't care about the seating arrangements. She just sat beside me to comfort me. I'd seriously die without her.'

"Hey are you okay?" Erica whispered who was sitting beside Jessica; as usual in Maths class.

Jessica realised that what she said was in effect of her head and that she shouldn't be shouting at Erica.

"It's alright, Erica. I am sorry for shouting at you. Some things were going in my mind." Jessica whispered back and she gave her an apologetic look.

Erica rubbed Jessica's left shoulder with her right hand and gave her a smile.

A month had passed and Jessica couldn't help it but she was finding herself falling for Erica. Her feelings were deep buried with soil of Erica being straight. But now that she has come out, her feelings automatically surfaced and now floats in the air. She had several dreams involving her and Erica. And to not make matters any worse, she read the note she once wrote and hid it in her closet about her feelings.

Jessica woke up with the reason similar to the reason why she awake 45 days ago.

Oh great, electricity's out!

She woke up and stretched her hands in the air. She went over to her dad's room and again notice the full urine bag. This was happening very often now. But she ignored it, changed the bag and went to have a shower before making some eggs. Coming out and after wearing clothes, she toasted some breads. She ate that with her dad.

While walking to college, she was thinking how would she pay for the electricity bill. If she would pay for the bill, she won't be having enough for other expenses till her salary comes. She was in complete misery. She didn't like to ask her friends again and again for money. She was gloomy the entire day till lunch. She at all didn't like her father to live with no electricity. Her dad watched TV to pass time. So her dad would be just sitting getting all bored up. It was sad enough to be in condition like his and to be bored is just so worse.

During lunch she just ignored every question her friends asked in concern and lied to them that she is fine. She was not at all fine. She was very confused as to what to do next. She affirmed that she was okay to her friends when they asked again if she was okay when she said she'd like to skip the next lecture. After her affirming them, her friends went to their class and Jessica walked around the campus. She felt really lucky no one caught her.

Jessica noticed Rider, her ex-friend was standing outside the principal's cabin. He looked worried. Rider was his one of the close friends. Everything was fine until in 9th grade when he tried to give her drugs for fun. She realised Rider was a bad influence and since then tried to make some distance from him. Rider though being a dealer, was smart enough to understand that Jessica's reason to avoid him was him giving her drugs and respected her decision as he knew what he does is wrong.

Jessica felt a sudden bad feeling as she just shut herself from Rider without giving him any reason or understanding. He was a close friend after all. So she approached him. Rider gave a smile with a questioning look. He was obviously confused. Jessica who just disappeared from his life suddenly walked upto him.

"Hey." Jessica greeted Rider.

"Hey.." Rider greeted back in his own unique druggie tone.

"What are you doing here? Did you do something bad?" Jessica just asked innocently.

"I did a deal with some guy a few days ago. He was cool, you know. Now today, I find out he ratted me out. I surrendered because I do what I do and I am not ashamed of it. Hiding it would increase whatever I am gonna have as punishment." Rider said without showing any sense of regret.

"Standing outside principal's cabin, obviously not a good thing if he knows, does he?" Jessica asked in concern.

" 'Course he does." Rider answered rather normally

"Oops. Doesn't sound okay. He'll call your mother you know." Jessica informed.

"I know that. But I am least bothered about that. He'll give me a suspension for a week or two or make me repeat the year. That is no big thing. And my mother cannot care less about me since she's got my brother."

Jessica remembered the dynamics of his family. His parents only cared about his elder brother who was this bright kid. She could be there for him when no was is. He has no good influencing friends and not much of a relationship with his family.

"Maybe they'll care about you if you stop dealing and being with other dealers" Jessica suggested.

"Are you mad? Those are the only people I have in my life. For they are the only one whose gonna give me shelter when my parents are gonna throw me out."

"Did they tell you that? Your parents? That they are gonna throw you out?"

Rider shook his head, "No. But they'll eventually.(Jessica nodded) See. I already know what's gonna happen in my life. And I am not worried about my mom coming here. The thing has me worried is a promise to make a deal about now with someone." Rider said with a little hint of fear in the last statement.

"So you're stuck here now. You cannot go and deal."

"But the guy already gave me money and this guy is not alone. He has his group with him. If I fail to do my part of the deal, they'll hunt me down. These are some serious guys, Jess.(Jessica nodded) And I simply cannot go now. I don't know how long it may take.(Jessica nodded) Wait! Are you free?"

"I actually have lectures but I am bunking them so yeah, I am free. Why?" Jessica asked knowing his answer.

"Can you do this for me." Rider asked.

"What? No. You know I am against these things. I am not going to do this."

"Jess, they'll hurt me if this is not done. Like really hurt me. And after today, my mom probably will stop giving me money so I must be in my proper health to deal for money. Please." Rider said with fear reflecting in his eyes. He was scared. And Jessica noticed that. "Please. You can have this in exchange." He took out the money he was supposed to have after the deal. The money was enough to pay for her electricity bill. "Please Jess. For ol' times sake." Rider again begged.

Jessica could pay for the bill and could go through the whole month. But drugs she hated a lot. She despised them. But she had to do it. She must. She knew she shouldn't have repaired the oven. But her breakfast was always depended on the microwave.

"Okay.(releases a big sigh) What should I do?"

Rider at an instant took out more than a couple of small packets of molly and said while giving it to her abruptly,

"Just deliever to the guy who'll be sitting on the bench in our garden wearing a yellow cap."

"Is there some kind of code or something?" Jessica enquired.

"Yeah. Since you are not I am, you'll be needing a code. The code is blue whale emergency. We talked about this code and he'll understand the situation once he hear this code." Rider said while his eyes beamed uncontrollably. "I owe you."

Jessica took the money and said, "No, Rider. I owe you." Jessica gave a quick thankful smile to Rider and went to do her new job. Honestly, she was very, very angry on herself for doing this. But she brushed all of her thoughts aside and focused on to spot the guy in yellow cap once she was in the garden. She looked here and there and then it landed on one of the many benches of the ground. And to a bald guy wearing a yellow cap basically. He stared at her. When she started walking towards him, she understood why Rider was so scared of the guy. He looked so terrifying so he must be a thousand percent more in nature. He had a long scar on his right cheek which showed that he had an attack with a knife on his face. His right hand was almost burnt up indicating he has been lit on a fire. And one of his eye was swollen like being punched on it. But he was muscular as hell and was she could tell he was tall even though he was sitting.

Jessica didn't spare him another glance after noticing all those features. She sat hastily beside the guy though creating a good of space between them.

Jessica cleared her throat, "Uhmm... Blue Whale Emergency." She said looking here and there.

"Hmm... Terminate body." The guy said boldly in a cold voice but thick voice.

Jessica was dumbfounded at what he had said, "What? He didn't mention anything of this." Jessica stated nervously and boldly.

"Just give me the stuff lady!" He said rudely.

Jessica at an instant gave him the packets. He took it in his hands, examined it; gazed at it and then walked away.

Walking home she was having one of those days where she was out of her sanity. Like she wouldn't do anything insanely but she just wasn't in her mind properly. She did what what was related to something she hated so much. Drugs. The reason why her mother killed herself. She wanted to burn that last letter more of a suicide note so much but she just couldn't. It was her last letter after all.

Jessica loved her mother but reading her note, she was a little angry on her. Why wouldn't she? Her mother was always cheerful and supportive. She was less of a mother and more of a friend. Who doesn't want a mother like that? But little did she knew that behind her cheerful act, there was an addict. And honestly the note cleared so many questions. Questions like why was her mother most of the time not around. And why she used to be at her sister's for months. Rehab.

The first line which she cannot forget. EVER.

'I cannot take it anymore and can't fake it to you.'

Further the note explained the line. Her mother was basically a very bad addict. She joined rehab more than a couple of times but she would always manage to get back on square one. Her father knew about this and tried to help her too. But her mother always managed to never get that taste of drugs off her tongue. Her father loved her so he couldn't divorce her. Her mother knew what she was doing and what it would do to her husband and Jessica. After cutting the cake, when her mother went to get high, she realised she was so deep into this shit, she couldn't stop herself from one day. And she did it. Out of shame, guilt.

Her mother never tried to talk with Jessica about this. If she did, things may have been different. And that's why she hated her. And that's why she wanted to have nothing which was even close to drugs. But she mad e a deal today. Which reminded her of all the crying and sobbing, her mother's death, her father falling from the stairs and not feeling his legs. She that's why wanted to do get good grades and go off to a good college and make her future bright. And get out of this shithole once and for all. But deep down she knew, she might have to deal again.

A start of new day also couldn't give Jessica a smile. For whenever she tried to forget of happened yesterday, she'd remember of what did happen yesterday. She got up to check upon her father. He was awake but again his urine bag was full. She let out a sigh and changed the bag quickly. As she was on her way to have a shower, she just stopped at her place. After a couple of minutes of thinking, she went to his dad's room.

"Dad. I am spending the day with you." She announced cheerfully.

"What?" His dad asked with genuine confusion.

"You heard me. I am going to spend this day with you." Jessica answered sternly.

"Why?"

"Just feel like to." She said while hiding the true reason. She could t go back to the school. The school where she did something so bad. She wasn't ready. And going in that state won't help her crushing over Erica. Yeah! She finally accepted the fact.

"But you staying here won't do any good to you. If it is about me, then I will be fine as always. You go and fulfill your dream." His dad said with a smile.

Jessica took a chair and sat beside his bed. "I think my dream can afford a day off from both my work and school."

"But..." Her dad was interrupted.

"No but. I am going to spend the day with you. Period!" She said boldly

"You are just like your mother. There cannot be any argument. Okay. You spend this day with me." Her dad said.

The next hour was spent in eating breakfast and Jessica giving her dad a shower. Everything was just made in breakfast and nothing was old. They ate while laughing, relaxing which they rarely do. In morning Jessica would be in a hurry to school, in lunch, she'd be in a hurry for her job and in dinner she'd be too tired to laugh and talk while eating. She's also skipped dinner at times. This was new and was refreshing to the both of them.

The talking didn't only stopped at breakfast. Apparently they talked while Jessica was cleaning her home. Lunch was too fun. They both took a nap. But they had one more fun thing to come. Jessica dancing and his dad singing. In the old days, the whole family would sing and dance with each other but the given condition now, her dad just was able to sing and she dancing. But they did that too with so much fun and joy. This fun day was long due for both of them.

"So what? Why did you skip everything today?" Her dad asked when they were done.

"What are you saying." Jessica questioned back while catching for breath.

"Come on. Your old man isn't so old to not understand these things, you know. So, what is it?" He again asked when Jessica sat on the ground beside him while he was in a wheelchair.

"There's nothing dad." Jessica replied.

"Look Jess, there is nothing you cannot tell me. There is something clearly bothering you." He again tried to make her open upto him.

"Nothing dad." Jessica now said while looking here and there.

"Jess, we've got to be with each other now as much as we can. We've only got each other. For me at least. For me, you are the only one left in this world. Mom and dad died. Wife, well. Friend not so much and work friends stopped paying a visit after three months of this(he tapped the hand rest of the wheelchair) so yeah, no friends there either. I've only got you. And if you will also hide things from me, so from whom will I expect? If my own daughter would hide things from me, so you tell me would it make me feel better?"

Jessica hated this. She knew his dad used an emotional blackmail right now. But the effect had already stated. She felt guilty. For backing out his father like that. He deserves to know what is going with her. After all, he was the one who stood with her. That's what she thought.

"I did something which I shouldn't have." She said being now serious.

"Okay.(nodded) Was it a good od thing or a bad thing?" He asked.

"A bad thing." She replied while looking down.

"Okay.(nodded) Was it for a good purpose or you just did it for your own self for fun?" He asked.

"It was for a purpose. A good purpose indeed." She said looking at him, finally.

"Then it just doesn't matter. No matter how bad it was. It just doesn't matter. Because you did for a good thing. And that's the only thing matters." Her dad said giving her a smile.

"Okay." She smiled back.

"Is there anything?" His dad again asked.

She decided to let it all reveal now.

"Well there's something else too. I like a girl." She said blushing.

"Oh. It's that Erica girl isn't it." He asked giving a smirk.

Jessica gasped, "How did you know?"

"Just like I said before, I still can figure out. That girl of yours when visited here a couple of times, I then figured it out that there so something going on. The way you would look at her whenever she'd talk or the way you laugh at her jokes even when they're not so funny. You just look at her differently than to your other friends." His dad said with a proud smile.

Jessica scratched his temples, "You really are smart.(her dad chuckled) So you are okay with me liking a girl?" Jessica asked nervously.

"This is the twenty-first century Jess, why wouldn't I be okay with it? You do know that I am a lot cooler than you are!" His dad commented.

Jess let out a chuckle. "She is also you know, like me."

Her dad nodded and said, "Well that's great, isn't it? There's no chance you'll be heartbroken as she isn't straight."

"But there is a possibility dad that she won't like me back." Jessica said worriedly.

"Oh please. She likes you. Now that you've told me that she is like you too, I can be sure that she has the same look in her eyes." His dad stated.

"You think so?" She again asked

"Of course Jess." His dad assured her.

After having that conversation and eating their dinner, she tucked her father in bed and went to her room; sat laid down on her bed just thinking how they; Jessica and Erica got friends.

It was the first day of third grade and Jessica still didn't have any good friends. She'd always look at other kids with their friends and couldn't but just envy at them. Erica came during lunch one day and stood in front of her.

"Hey your name is Jessica right?" Erica asked.

"Yes." Jessica replied.

"You know our names rhyme, don't you?" Erica said.

"It does?" Jessica asked in innocence.

"Yes. See: Erica-Jessica" Erica said.

"Oh yes." Jessica chirped.

"Will you be my friend Jessica?" Erica asked.

"Of course!" Jessica said and that's when Erica sat beside her and they both shared their lunch.

Smiling on that memory, Jessica slept peacefully.

A new day. Jessica was happy with this new day. Because this was the day when she'll confess her feelings to Erica and Erica would for sure feel the same way. And they'll be together. She had a big smile plastered on her after two minutes she was awake which was unusual. Unusual because usually she'd go all sad and miserable after seconds she'd wake up from reality. But today, reality was about to change.

She went over to her dad and as usual he was awake before her and was sitting. But his urine bad was empty.

'Less work for me then.'

She went over to her dad and gave her a side hug and chirped good morning. She prepared a quick breakfast and showered fast as she couldn't wait to tell Erica.

Jessica reached school early to prepare herself. She already knew what she was going to say. She is a girl anyway. But she reached anyhow. She was waiting for Erica to come now. But again Erica was taking time to come. Her whole group showed up except Erica. And the first class was about to begin. So they went in; with Jessica disappointed. She along with her friends seated in class. When the teacher was about to take attendance, Jessica appeared with a girl. They both were late. Jessica let out a sigh of relief. Finally.

It was lunch. Jessica decided to talk in lunch as her topic was not something to be discussed between classes. For some reason Erica told them she'd join later at the table. So she was waiting. Waiting to prepare what she will say word after word. She doesn't want her to hesitate or stutter.

'Erica, I like you.'

'Erica, I love you.'

Jessica smiled

Finally Jessica came with a girl. Jessica noticed it was the same girl she came in the class with. Jessica along with the girl, who seemed like an Indian stood at front of them; Jessica and her other friends. They both looked anticipated and excited.

"Guys." She said excited smiling. "This is Ruth. I have to tell you something."

"Shoot." Martha said.

Even this didn't bother Jessica. She was far too happy to be angry on Martha.

Erica looked at Ruth excited at her right hand with Ruth's left hand; interlocked their fingers.

'Oh, fuck!'

"Oh fuck!" Jo shouted.

"Seriously?" Martha asked.

"Guys what's going on?" Chloe asked in confusion to others.

Jessica already thought her reaction.

"We're together!" Erica announced.

"Like seriously?" Jessica still couldn't believe.

"Yes! This girl here was the one who made me question about my sexuality." Jessica stated.

Jessica didn't know now whether to thank that Ruth girl or hate her. But she agreed the Indian was beautiful. "I've always liked her. She was the one who crossed my heart you know. In a good way and bad way too. When I saw her with some guy, my heart sank and that's when I knew. So this here right here (signalling Ruth) is the reason I confessed to you guys. And the reason I am who I am."

Walking back home, she remembered how she had to fake everything. Had to fake how happy she eas when her chest ache with pain. She had to smile when her heart broke. She had to hug that Indian when her dreams shattered. She so tried to despise Ruth but couldn't because Ruth made Erica happy. And she was the reason she was who she was. She was the reason Erica was out and proud. She couldn't hate her. But when she saw Erica so much happy with Ruth, she realised she should be happy for her. If everything would've gone as planned, it would be too perfect to be true. And even they happened, it wouldn't be good for her. Because she would be distracted and won't be able to focus and won't get any good grades and she couldn't be going to a good college and hence not pursuing her dream.

She unlocked her main door and opened and went in.

"Well dad you were wrong. You cannot see feelings from eyes." Jessica commented. She waited for an answer but she couldn't get any. She could hear the TV on so she went for the hall. What she saw made her heart beat ten times faster. She didn't know how but she swear was making it's way all the way from her forehead to her spine. She couldn't believer her eyes once she saw what she saw.

There she was; her father lying on the floor. That to in his own piss. That greenish yellow piss. Smelly piss. His father was definitely passed out. She immediately called a doctor. She was constantly trying to wake his father. She called him many times but to no avail.

------

Jessica was mopping the floor of the mart she worked. It was Sunday night. The radio was connected to all the speakers of the mart and thus she could hear a country music playing. She was moping the floor when suddenly she burst out in a fit of laughter. She was laughing so hard the worker who walked nearby to her, could hear her laughter. When the worker started walking to her, the manager told him not to and mouthed, 'She's depressed.' She was depressed.

Two weeks had been gone since the doctor came to visit her father. He woke up but the doctor clearly stated that he won't be living for a long time. Her monthly salary wasn't enough for his medicines. So she already dealt drugs a few times. She had to. She knew her father was going to pass away but she wanted him to live for as much as possible. After all, he was the only family she had left now. She also had to go through the whole day while seeing Ruth and Erica together. Im working so much, she also couldn't study much. She was depressed. For first, she was becoming like her mother slowly; dealing drugs. Second, her father was about to go. Third, the Erica problem and fourth, she wasn't having any time to study.

This may change but for now she knew, she was going to live her mother's life.

***

AN: I know you guys may have questions regarding Rider and his character. And that is why you're going to get your answers in an another story I am gonna write which would totally be like a novel type and not gonna be a part of this anthology and would be a spin-off of this particular story revolving around Rider...