Syrup Village Arc

It was a calm day on the ocean of the East Blue. There was not a cloud in the sky to be seen and the wind at their backs was smooth and strong, easily enough to push two boats strapped together thanks to both having their own sail. On these ships were the small crew of four, or three and one temporary companion if one wanted to get too technical with the semantics.

The bigger of the two boats, which held Nami, Coby, and their meager food stores, had a small cabin and a black sail with the emblem of the Buggy Pirates. The other held Luffy, Zoro, and the treasure under its plain white sail. They had started out with the treasure and the food places swapped to better protect the glittering jewels they had stolen from Buggy the Clown, but that was soon changed when Nami learned of the full threat Luffy posed to any food source within his ever-changing arm's length. With that danger mitigated for the time being, Nami set about navigating the ships while showing Coby a few tips and tricks to tie the crew over when she left them like she planned. They were on their way toward a small island a little over a day's sailing where they should be able to get supplies and one bigger boat.

Eventually they reached a point where Nami could sail both boats without help, leaving Coby to his thoughts. Seeing that the woman was no longer untangling the mysteries of navigation to the youngest crewmember of their group, Luffy saddled up next to the girl with a wide smile.

"So, Nami," he smiled, missing or ignoring the annoyed look she leveled at him out of the corner of her eye. "Why are you all the way out here? Where is home for you? What's it like being a girl? Do you poop?"

"Excuse me?!" the navigator roared, punching the dim-witted teen in the face as hard as she could. Luffy's neck stretched as the force sent his head backwards, ruining his balance in the unsteady boat, causing him to topple over the side. "You should never ask anyone that question to anyone, much less a woman!"

"Geblubbleub!" Luffy cried, his arms flailing on the surface of the water.

"Get back up here! I'm not done beating you for that!" Despite Nami's order, Luffy started to sink, his visible arms disappearing under the water until only his hand remained, even that slipping away. Realization downed in Nami as he disappeared. "Don't tell me you can't swim!"

"Captain Luffy!" Coby yelled as he remembered a part of the myth of Devil Fruits. He turned to the navigator. "People with Devil Fruit powers can't swim because the ocean hates them!"

"What?" Nami gasped, suddenly worried. She didn't like pirates, but that didn't mean she was willing to kill one. Without a second thought, she dove off the boat, blinking her eyes as the familiar pain of saltwater settled so she could see. Luffy continued to sink in her line of sight, his body still as he reached for the sunlight above. She kicked, reaching him in a matter of moments to wrap one arm around his waist and throw one of his over her shoulders. Having secured him against herself, the woman kicked her legs as hard as she could, the two of them breaking the surface. Both took a deep, thankful breath.

"Shishishi," Luffy chuckled. "I thought I was gonna die!"

"You moron!" Nami yelled.

"Captain Luffy!" Coby called from the ships, a fair distance from them now. He was waving a fishing net they had found in the cabin earlier. "Nami! Come closer so I can pull you in!"

"Ugh," Nami groaned considering Luffy was still limp against her. She started paddling, the two coming close enough for Coby to toss the net with a surprising amount of accuracy. Nami snagged it with her free hand as the boy struggled to drag them in. Zoro, growing tired of watching the spectacle, stepped forward after a couple minutes and yanked both captain and navigator out of the sea with one mighty tug.

"Shishishi!" Luffy laughed. "Thanks, everyone!"

"It's not funny, you idiot!" Nami shouted, grabbing him by the collar and she straddled his waist so she could shake him more effectively. "I could have killed you! Why didn't you say anything, your rubber-brained moron?! Do you know what it would have done to my conscience if you died from that?! How could I have looked my sister in the eye if I killed someone like you just because you can't swim?! What sort of pirate can't swim, anyway?! The whole ocean is a death trap for you and you choose to sail?! Answer me!" Nami stopped shaking the pirate, Luffy's head still rolling with swirls in his eyes.

"So you have a sister?" he muttered.

"That's what you got out of that?!"

"Meh, I didn't die, so it's all good."

"No it's not!"

While Nami showed herself to be the scariest person out of the four of them, Coby had slunk against the side of the boat, the adrenaline of almost losing his captain taking a toll on him. What did he have to offer this crew? Luffy was the captain and an excellent fighter, Zoro was like the personification of brute strength, and Nami's navigational skills were a must for any sailing group, but he contributed nothing. If he wanted a place on this crew, if he wanted a chance at his dream of being able to right any wrong and protect the innocent, he needed to get stronger. Building his resolve with Nami still yelling at Luffy in the background, he spoke up.

"So, Z-Zoro?"

"What is it, Shrimp?"

"I-I was w-wondering-"

"Don't stutter. Speak up."

"I was wondering," Coby said again, louder, "Could you teach me swordsmanship?"

There was silence for a moment. Both Luffy and Nami were now watching the discussion with interest. The question was so spontaneous to them that it made them stop, frozen with Nami's hands still holding Luffy's cardigan.

"You want to learn how to use a sword?" Zoro questioned.

"Actually, I want to use two swords."

"You want to learn Two Sword Style from me?" Zoro asked. Coby nodded in response. "Why?"

"Because I did nothing to help last time," the roset responded. "I want to be able to do something in our next fight. Even just now, I couldn't do anything to help. You and Captain Luffy are so strong, but I'm not. I can't really learn to fight from Captain Luffy since I can't stretch, but I can learn from you."

"I'll warn you right now that I've never taught anyone before, so if I do teach you, it would be the way I learned and taught myself. It will probably be harsh and make you want to quit. Still interested?"

Coby was visibly shaking, but he still nodded his head. "Y-Yes."

"You don't sound certain." Coby gulped, fisting his hands at his side as he raised his voice.

"Yes, I am! I'm certain! I want to learn!"

"Good. We can start right now." Zoro threw Coby one of his swords with the sheath still on. The boy was unable to catch it, something that did not shock the green-haired man, but he managed to keep it in the boat. "Lift it," the swordsman ordered.

The pink-haired pirate gasped the handle with both hands and raised the sword. He pointed it away from the viewers, not trusting himself to not accidentally hurt one of them, even with the sheath still on the blade. The sword shook and rattled in his unsure hold.

"That's a good start," Zoro commented, "but you've got a lot of problems. For one thing, that's a one-handed sword. Use it that way."

"What?" Coby asked. He was only holding it because he had two hands on it. He'd known he was weak physically, but that weak?

"Take your weaker hand off." Coby hesitated, but did as told. He removed his left hand. Almost immediately, the tip of the blade hit the deck. With visible strain, Coby tried to lift the sword with only one hand, but the tip only rose about seven inches. "Right," Zoro sighed. "That's not going to work."

Coby was put out. 'I'll never learn to use a sword, even with Zoro's help. I'm just too weak. I should throw myself overboard like Alvida always told me to so I don't burden-'

"Shrimp, drop and give me 50 push-ups."

Coby jumped. "B-but I can't do that many."

"Then do as many as you can," Zoro ordered. "Until you can lift one of these blades with each hand, I can't teach you the way of the sword. We'll see if I can get some bokken on the next island to start earlier since they aren't as heavy, but until then, we'll just have to whip you into shape." Coby was speechless. In the other boat, Nami realized the position she and the rubber teen were in, jumping off and throwing him away from her. "Well?"

"Uh, yes, Zoro-sensei!" The boy dropped to the deck and started exercising.

"Zoro-sensei," the swordsman mused. "I like the sound of that."

"Dammit, Luffy!" Nami yelled, breaking Zoro out of his thoughts. "Stay away from the food!" Zoro gave a hardy laugh as Coby continued to pump his arms up and down, a light sheen of sweat already starting to appear across his brow.

Four people spied on the ships that had just landed on the northernmost cape of Gecko Island. As they watched, three people, two men and a woman, exited the ships, leaving behind a panting boy who was lying in a puddle of sweat. The first male, a teen with a mop of black hair under a straw hat, yawned as he stepped onto the white sand. He wore a red vest and blue jean shorts with sandals. This teen also had a scar under his left eye.

"So this is the island you were talking about?" he asked, directing the question at the woman. "It's pretty small. I hope we can get enough meat."

"You never have enough meat," the second man remarked. He was dressed in long black pants with matching boots, a white t-shirt, and had short green hair with a sash the same color around his waist. He held three sheathed swords in his right hand and had a dark green bandana tied around his left arm.

"I'm more worried about Coby," the woman commented before rounding on the swordsman. "I can't believe you did that to him!" The female of the group had short orange hair, a horizontally striped blue and white shirt, and an orange skirt with raised sandals. "You pushed him way too hard!" She gestured the boy in the smaller boat.

The boy in question was short. He was dressed in a shirt that was reminiscent of Marine uniforms, had shorts similar to the first man, tennis shoes, and blue glasses. Straight pink hair stuck to his head and his skin shone like he had just gone swimming.

"He asked for it," the man shrugged. "How else am I going to train him? Plus, I warned him." He froze, gripping his swords before turning to the hiding place of the four, eavesdropping people. "We've got company."

"That's right!" a man's voice called, its owner rising bravely out of a bush to point down on the travelers with pride. He looked to be in his upper teens and stood on a cliff facing the intruders, his arms crossed and a look of superiority on his darker, tanned face. The teen was dressed in brown overalls with a white sash around his waist and brown shoes. His curly, black hair was held back by a green bandana and a pair of goggles, and a large circular satchel hung from his neck to bounce by his hip. A long nose stuck out from his head and was as plain as the nose on his... nevermind. Now that he had the attention of the three on the beach, the teen pulled a green slingshot from his satchel and loaded it with a pellet, taking aim at the intruders. "Don't you dare take another step or else my crew of 80-million men will attack!"

Behind the man, pirate flags rose from the bushes and trees in groups of three until the entire coastline was filled with them. The symbol on the flags was a skull with a long nose and a slingshot. "I am the brave Captain Usopp of the Usopp Pirates! And the town of this island is under my protection!"

"Usopp?" Straw Hat muttered, bringing up a hand to cup his chin as he stared into space. "I've heard that name before."

"You have?" the teen gaped, stumbling. He quickly found his balance again, pointing to the sky in what he probably thought was a cool pose. "I mean, of course you have! I'm famous across the world, after all! Now be gone, pirates!"

"80 million followers?" the woman scoffed. "Yeah, right. I bet the real number is three."

"Crap!" three voices cried out. "She knows!" Six flags that had been moving dropped to the ground and three boys ran away toward the center of the island, leaving the oldest behind.

"Wait! Don't leave me here alone!" Usopp yelled, turning back to the people on the beach like a rusty machine. He was visibly shaken, but the teen still pretended to have confidence. The boy in the boat hoisted himself up with difficulty and drug himself onto the beach to see what all the commotion was.

"So 80 million was a bit of an overstatement," Usopp conceded, "but they don't call me Usopp the Brave for nothing! I can rival anyone with a gun!"

"Do it then," the other teen ordered in a serious tone, his hat shadowing his eyes. The woman and boy stared at him in surprise. "Guns were made for action, not threats. So do it. Pull the trigger."

Usopp stood there, shaking nearly as bad as Coby had been when trying to raise Zoro's sword. Said swordsman smirked and prepped his favorite weapon, egging the sniper on. Thirty seconds passed before Usopp gave in, falling to the dirt.

"I'm pathetic," he whimpered, refusing to meet the eyes of the behatted teen. "I can't even protect my town."

"Shishishi!" Luffy Laughed, his heavy countenance disappearing. "I stole that from Shanks. Don't worry about it, Usopp. Oh! Now I know where I heard that name. You're Yassop's son, aren't you?" Usopp jerked and fell off the cliff, surprised. He tumbled, rolling down the cliff face until he faceplanted into the sandy beach, but he recovered quickly. Leaping to his feet, Usopp shuffled over to Luffy.

"You know my father?" he asked, grabbing Luffy by the shoulders. "How? What can you tell me about him?"

"I'll talk about it later," Luffy responded as his stomach growled. "Right now, I need some meat!"

"Well come with me. I know a place." Usopp replied, shoving his slingshot back into his pack. Gesturing to the crew that had landed just earlier that day, the local walked over to a bush and shoved it to the side, revealing it to be a convincing fake. The group of four stepped onto the path revealed, Usopp replacing the false flora behind them before taking the lead. "Trust me. Lucky's is the best bar on the island. Well, it's also the only bar on the island, but the guy who owns it is a good guy. He doesn't chase me with a broom."

"That's your label for what counts as nice?" Nami questioned as the group exited the underbrush.

"Well, I'm not too liked at the moment," Usopp admitted, knowing he couldn't get away from the stares and side-glances the others were sure to see when they reached the town. "People don't seem to like when someone says they want to be a pirate."

"I know what that feels like!" Luffy agreed with a grin, wrapping an arm around the long-nosed native. "In fact, your dad was part of the reason I wanted to become a pirate in the first place."

"You mentioned my dad before," Usopp nodded, ignoring the looks the group attracted from the closest villagers as they drew closer to the border. Alongside the hostile stares he'd grown used to, there was also confusion at a visitor with an arm wrapped around the village liar. "He left when I was young, so I don't know too much about him."

"He doesn't look too much like you," Luffy began. "His nose is different and his hair is lighter, but he's got eyes way better than anyone else!"

"Really?" Usopp grinned. "Mom always said dad was a marksman and I want to be like him. That's why I picked up a slingshot."

"Yeah, I bet you're just as good as Yasopp! He's part of a crew that docked at Fusha Village for a few months when I was little. I once watched him shoot the wings off a fly while looking in a mirror!"

"Woah!" Usopp's eyes widened as he and the pirates walked into their destination, Lucky's Bar in Syrup Village. The group took a booth, ordering enough food for the group. (Not enough for Luffy, but Nami punched him over the head when he tried to order more than they needed.) Zoro was content with beer.

The group sat there for nearly an hour, Luffy telling every story about Yasopp he could remember, much to Usopp's delight. Nami listened with wide eyes; hearing stories of pirates told in such a positive light challenged what she thought she knew, the girl quickly shaking the thought away and labeling the stories as bias.

"So my father is on the crew of 'Red-Haired' Shanks?" Usopp inquired after the most recent story. "The 'Red-Haired' Shanks?"

"More than just on the crew," Luffy answered, reaffirming what he'd said before. "He's their best sniper. And he's one of Shanks' best friends on the crew." These words got Usopp riled up, spouting about becoming a pirate like his father. Nami cut him off.

"Actually, we're here on a mission," the girl stated. "Is there anyone you know here that can help us get a boat?"

"Uh..." The self-proclaimed captain got shifty, suddenly refusing to make eye contact with any of them. "Nope! No one here. Not a single person."

"What about the people in that big mansion on the hill?" Zoro asked. "They seem wealthy enough to spare a boat."

"Don't you go anywhere near that mansion!" Usopp shouted, standing and slamming his hands into the tabletop before he could catch himself. He reeled. "Uh... I mean... Oh! Would you look at the time? I've got to go do something very important, SoDon'tFollowOrWaitForMeBye!" The teen bolted out the door, leaving four confused pirates in his wake.

"That wasn't suspicious at all," Nami snarked.

"Maybe he had some chores he had to do?" Coby offered, trying to give the lying teen the benefit of the doubt. He turned, expecting a response from his captain, but he found Luffy with a bulging stomach and an empty table, plates and all just gone. Luffy breathed out a satisfied sigh, patting his swollen belly. Zoro and Nami looked traumatized at whatever thy had just witnessed.

"I just blinked," Zoro muttered, glancing at his booze as if wondering if that was the cause of his apparent hallucination. He shrugged, downing the rest of the mug. It clunked back to the table, empty, as three boys forced their way into the bar, screaming bloody murder.

"Where is our captain, you dirty pirates?!" the three children yelled. Their eyes landed on Luffy and his unnatural proportions.

"Ah, that meat was good," Luffy sighed, much to the horror of the children.

"Your captain," Zoro smirked, amused with Luffy's choice of words, "was delicious."

"Uhh, yeeessss," Coby agreed, wanting to play along just to feel included. "Tasty, if a little... uh, stringy?"

"AHHH!" the three screamed as they turned to the lone female. "WITCH!"

"Why'd you turn to me?!" she yelled back. Their act came to an end when Coby broke into a fit of laughter. He was soon followed by his teacher and captain.

"Why are you laughing, you cannibals?!" the three cried.

"Shishishi," Luffy chuckled. "Usopp isn't dead. He ran off a minute ago."

"He seemed to get really defensive about that mansion on the hill," Coby explained. "Do you three know anything about it?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess that makes sense," one of the boys muttered. "It is that time of the day. We can lead you there. I'm Onion, by the way."

"I'm Carrot!"

"And I'm Pepper!"

"And together, we are the Usopp Pirates!"

Nami groaned, face in her hands. This was exactly what she needed, children thinking that playing pirate was a game.

"Well, lead us," Zoro prompted as he stood, the rest of the crew following the children out of the bar. Usopp had said he had a tab going, so the meal was on him.

"It's right around three o'clock," Pepper noted as the group started walking up a trail. "Captain Usopp always goes to the mansion around this time. Not that he lives there. His house is on the outskirts of town."

"Why would he be at the mansion then?" Coby questioned, hiking along despite his weariness from the killer workout Zoro had put him through that morning. "He told us to avoid it."

"He goes there to lie," Carrot responded.

"What?" Nami demanded. "That asshole goes there to lie to people?"

"The woman who lives there, Kaya, has had a severe case of depression ever since her parents died in an accident a year ago," Carrot elaborated, shrinking away from the scary woman. "Captain Usopp goes there every day to tell her stories to cheer her up."

"Well, then I guess that's ok," Nami amended, still miffed at the thought of lying to an innocent person. "It's better than just lying for no reason."

"Let's go ask her to give us a ship," Luffy reasoned. "She sounds real nice and she's a friend of Usopp, so she can be our friend, too." Despite the sighs, the group made their way to the large house. Its grounds were separated from the outside by a tall, concrete wall, a wrought-iron gate now standing between the group and the mansion. Zoro rattled the gate, showing it was locked.

"How are we going to get in?" Coby wondered aloud.

"Like this." The rubber-man jumped up and grabbed the top of the fence, letting his weight stretch his arms, much to the horror of the Usopp Pirates. "Gum-Gum-!"

"No wait!" Nami, Zoro, and Coby cried, grabbing Luffy in an attempt to stop him. The three children also grabbed on, not knowing what else to do.

"Pardon the intrusion!" All seven were launched into the air as Luffy's arms snapped back to normal length.

Usopp sat on the branch of a tall oak tree, a proud grin on his face as he listened to Kaya's musical laughter. "I'm telling you, Kaya, that goldfish was huge! I'd been watching the map while studying its shape in the distance, when I bumped into something in the monster's wake. And I said to myself, 'there shouldn't be an island here. There isn't one on the map.' But there was something there since I'd just run into it, big enough to be an island! The goldfish was getting away, but it was too far gone for me to catch that day. Being the brave warrior of the sea that I am, I had to investigate what I could, so I docked my ship and jumped onto the weird island, and it stunk to high heaven! It smelled terrible! It turns out I'd just landed on that monster's poop, which just goes to show you how big that goldfish really was!"

"Ahahaha!" Kaya laughed, bringing herself down to giggles. Kaya was a very pale, blond-haired woman dressed in a baby-blue dress. Her big, light brown eyes shone with a life that her sickly frame did not have, a light dusting of red over her cheeks as she listened to the long-nosed boy weaving tales for her "And you said you were five years old?"

"Of course!" Usopp replied. "If I'd done it at six, I could have caught that goldfish!"

"Pardon us!" a voice yelled from the sky, attracting the attentions of the two teens. Something hit the ground hard, kicking up a very impressive dust cloud.

"That was so much fun!" Luffy cheered as the cloud settled, jumping to his feet.

"No it wasn't!" everyone else shouted, punching him in the back of the head.

"Goodness!" Kaya cried, looking at the group worriedly. "Are you all ok?"

"Don't worry about them," Usopp tried to wave off. "They're just some... fans that wanted to join the Usopp Pirates."

"Nope," Luffy denied, knocking the wind out of Usopp's sails. "Not me. I actually wanted to talk to you. You're... Uh..."

"Kaya," Coby whispered to him.

"You're Kaya, right?"

"Yes I am," the woman answered. "And you?"

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy, captain of the Straw Hat Pirates, and these three are Zoro, my first mate and swordsman, Coby, swordsman-in-training, and Nami, our navigator."

"Temporary navigator," Nami interjected.

"It's nice to meet you," Kaya smiled, "but why are you here?"

"You sounded like a really cool person and we wanted to ask for a favor. We need a boat-"

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" a new voice demanded. Everyone turned to find a black-haired man wearing a suit. His hair was slicked back and a pair of round glasses rested on his face while black-and-gray striped shoes adorned his feet. He did not even try to hide his look of disgust when his eyes land on the form of Usopp sitting in the tree by Kaya's window. "On second thought, I don't care. Get out. You are all trespassing illegally."

"But Klahadore," Kaya tried to argue. "These people were-"

"I don't care what these people were doing." The man adjusted his glasses using the palm of his hand. "Their presence here is very detrimental to your health. You... eight must leave immediately."

"Actually Klahadore-"

"Not now, Miss Kaya," the butler interrupted. "When your parents died, your care was entrusted to me. I cannot have you associating with ruffians like this son of sea trash."

"Don't you dare badmouth my father!" Usopp ordered, jumping to his feet. "He is a brave warrior of the sea on one of the world's most famous crews! My father is a lieutenant of a Yonko!"

"Your father is nothing but a no-name outlaw. Even when not here, pirates still influence their children." Klahadore tutted. "It just goes to show that it is in their DNA to be lowlifes. I will say it once more: leave immediately."

"Cease this at once, Klahadore!" Kaya shouted angrily. "Apologize!"

"Calm down, Kaya," Usopp placated, going from 100 to zero real quick. "This is my argument."

"I have no obligation to apologize to the son of such filthy trash like this ruffian."

"Don't insult my father ever again," Usopp ordered, forgetting his own advice and losing his own temper as he slid down the tree.

"Usopp, wait-" Coby tried, but the sniper ignored him. He stomped toward Klahadore and, without warning, punched him in the face.

"Case in point," Klahadore muttered, sitting up with a bruise forming on his face, "he resorts to violence when words fail him. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?" Usopp reached out, grabbing a fistful of Klahadore's shirt and prepared to punch him again.

"Usopp!" Kaya cried. "Stop! Please, stop! I can't take any more violence. Please, Klahadore isn't a bad person. He's just misguided!"

"Fine," Usopp growled, releasing the man roughly. "I'm leaving. Happy now? You'll never see me here again." Usopp stomped away, not reacting to Kaya's apologies.

"That was very rude of you, Klahadore," Kaya stated after he'd gone, tears in her eyes. "You're such a buzzkill."

"Buzzkill is a title I will gladly bare if it keeps you safe, Miss Kaya," Klahadore responded, straightening out his uniform. "Now you all. Please make your way off the premises as well." The three children that would follow Usopp like lost puppies began shouting at the butler, calling him every name they could think of, but Coby's voice cut through theirs.

"Yes, sir. It was nice speaking to you, Miss Kaya. I hope we see you again. Come on, guys." The crew, plus three boys being dragged, exited the estate, startling the guards that had been unaware of their entry.

"Well that didn't work," Luffy commented, still with a smile on his face, but it fell with his next statement. "That butler guy was a jerk, though. He didn't even let us talk and insulted Usopp. Rude."

"I mean, we weren't supposed to be there anyway," Coby pointed out. "Pirates or not, we were trespassing."

"Well, he still shouldn't have said those things to Usopp." Luffy paused, causing the rest of the group to walk ahead of him. The turned to see Luffy with a thoughtful look. "I'm gonna find him."

"Who? Usopp?" Nami asked.

"Yeah. I know what it's like to be alone when people don't believe in you. I wanna check on him."

"Well, Captain Usopp usually goes to the cliff on the south side when he's sad," Pepper offered as the three local boys free themselves from Zoro's grip. "We'd go with you, but we have to get home. We still have chores to do today. If you wait right here by the road, then we'll find you when we're done."

"That works for us," Coby agreed as Nami pointed Luffy toward the south. He thanked her quickly before jogging off.

Zoro dropped his swords on the side of the road with a yawn, sitting next to them and leaning against a fence. "Shrimp, start exercising. Wake me up later."

The moment Usopp ran by the group sitting by the side of the road without even glancing their way, much less saying anything, they knew something was wrong. His faithful trio saying that he was wearing a very distraught expression just made it worse. They followed his trail back the way he had come to his special spot, the place Pepper said he went when he was sad or angry.

They found Luffy at the bottom of the cliff, his hat on the ground next to him. His head was stuck underneath his body at a very unnatural angle and he wasn't moving.

"Did he fall all the way from the top of the cliff?" Onion asked in worry.

"No doubt about it," Pepper sighed with a shake of his head. "He's a goner."

"Captain Luffy!" Coby cried dramatically, tears falling from his eyes. "Noooooo!"

"Zzzzzzz."

"What?" Nami wondered aloud.

"Heh," Zoro smirked, walking up to his captain's body. He poked Luffy with one of his swords.

"Zzzzzzz." Luffy shifted, letting out a yawn as he righted himself and stretched, in the normal way. "What a great nap."

"You're alive?" Usopp's followers yelled.

"Captain Luffy!" Coby shouted, running forward and hugging the teen. "We thought you were dead! I can't imagine if you were dead! I don't know if-" Luffy cut him off, punching Coby in the head. "Ow! Why'd you hit me?"

"Felt like it," Luffy answered with a shrug. "Oh. By the way, pirates are going to be attacking the town tomorrow."

"WHAT?!"

"That's not something you casually say!" Nami cried.

"Yeah. That butler guy is their captain and he was talking to this really weird guy with sunglasses. He said that he wants them to kill Kaya so he can inherit her money. I don't remember anything after that, though I think I yelled at them."

"Well it looks like we've got only one course of action," Carrot nodded sagely. "We've got warn the village and run."

"Yeah," Onion and Pepper agreed. The trio then ran away screaming like the Sea Devil itself was chasing them.

"We have to hurry," Luffy said, quickly jumping to his feet. "We need to get all the meat we can before the meat store guy leaves!"

"You mean the butcher," Coby corrected.

"That's not important, you idiot," Zoro chastised. "We need to get booze first."

"That's just as stupid!" Nami yelled.

"Why don't we find Usopp and get his help? He lives here after all." Coby suggested.

"Thank you, Coby," Nami agreed. "That's the first good idea we've had. Usopp seems to know the island pretty well."

"Yeah!" Luffy turned, beginning a march toward the town so that could look for Usopp, but said teen stumbled onto the beach from the foliage. He was in a bad state, multiple bruises and welts across his body and arms. His nose looked to be broken, bend at an awkward angle, and his left arm freely bled from a bullet hole.

"I... I tried to warn them," Usopp whispered, falling to his knees. Tears grow at the corners of his eyes. "I told them about Klahadore, about Kuro, but they didn't believe me. I've told so many lies; they think I'm lying again. I couldn't take it. I know Kaya's in danger. I couldn't just leave her there, so I..." Usopp choked up, the tears falling. "I told her what was happening and told her to come with me, but she didn't believe me, either… I just want to protect her. And I want to protect this island. They beat me with brooms, but it's still my home. H... Help me... Please…"

"I want to save this town, too," Coby stated. "Those people don't deserve to be overrun by pirates."

"I want all their treasure," Nami agreed, still greedy even if she was moved by Usopp's speech.

"I just want to cut something," Zoro answered, always up for a battle.

"I just want a fight," Luffy nodded, punching his palm. "These guys are messing with my new friends. They're going down."

"So, what is everyone good at?" Usopp asked, growing hopeful.

"Stretching."

"Cutting."

"Stealing."

"Getting beaten up."

"...and hiding," Usopp finished dejectedly. "We're screwed, aren't we?"

"Don't worry," Luffy told him, putting a hand on Usopp's uninjured shoulder. "We can do this."

"Alright, Shrimp," Zoro grinned, staring down on Coby. Luffy, Nami, and Usopp were out finding oil for part of the traps Usopp had devised, which left Zoro to do his best to get his new student combat-ready before the next day. "Time to learn. I can't teach you everything I know, like my Three-Sword Style. You'll need to find something just for you when the time comes, but until then, you will follow my lead."

"Yes, Sensei!" Coby straightened at his teacher's words, the two sitting in a clearing in the woods that Zoro had deemed suitable for training. In front of Coby was a bokken, a wooden sword a little wider than a normal sword. It weighed just a little more than half of one of Zoro's weapons, but it was the best Coby could manage at the moment. Zoro had acquired two, but there was no point in starting with both.

"There is one rule I'm giving you, and it's a belief I carry very close to me: Scars on the back are the shame of a swordsman."

"I don't understand, Sensei. What's different between a scar on your chest and a scar on your back?"

"A true swordsman will never turn his back to an opponent," Zoro explained. "Scars on your front are the signs of fighting a strong opponent, and there's no shame in that. In fact, there in pride in those wounds, but in a fight, turning your back is the same thing as running away. No real swordsman would attack a man whose back is turned, but there are plenty of pirates out there who will. Retreating and running away are different, but you must finish what you start. When you give up, when you give in, when you fail to protect your principles, those are the times when your back is scarred, and that shame lasts forever."

"I..." Coby swallowed, speechless. This was what he wanted, to have the confidence and conviction Zoro showed. "I understand, Zoro-sensei!"

"Good," Zoro nodded. "Every time you fight, every time you train, remember what you do it to protect and what goal you're reaching for, and you will grow stronger. Now stand up and watch my movements. You've got a lot to learn and not a lot of time to learn it. Well? Get up!"

"Yes, Sensei!"

The sun rose over the southernmost coast of Gecko Island the following morning, shining down on five people, three of whom were ready to fight. The narrow path before them shone, the slippery oil coating it reflecting the morning sunlight. Luffy stood at the top with his arms crossed and face shadowed by his hat, thinking he looked like Shanks just before fighting the mountain bandits all those years ago. Zoro stood to his left with his bandana tied around his head, Wado Ichimonji unsheathed and resting on his left shoulder. On Zoro's other side was his student, his new bokken prepped for battle (Zoro had made sure it was good enough to withstand at least one battle with real swords before buying it). Nami stood on Luffy's right, her bo out and held behind her and on her other side was Usopp who was trying to weasel his way out of battle.

"A-Are you s-sure you n-need me? I-I mean; you all seem w-way stronger th-than me."

"If I'm fighting," Coby argued, "then you're fighting too."

"B-but-"

"Shouldn't they be here by now?" Zoro questioned, gazing out at the open ocean. "He did say they would be here in the morning, right?"

"Kuro ordered them to land on the shore at sunrise," Usopp affirmed before he seemed to come to a realization, eyes widening. "Crap! He must've meant the north shore on the other side of the island!"

"You moron!" Nami yelled. "Our boats are docked there!"

"Everyone," Luffy ordered. "Get there as fast as you can." Luffy turned, a flailing arm hitting Zoro in the gut by accident. The swordsman grunted as he tried to move away from the arm, only for his back foot to step on the oil trap. He let out surprised gasp as his footing failed, dragging him down the cliff.

"Zoro-sensei!" Coby called.

"Go on, Shrimp. I'll catch up."

"No you don't," Luffy stated. He didn't need one of his Nakama to endanger himself before they were ready. "Coby, stay with Zoro and find a way to the other side." Luffy left, running after Nami and Usopp. Coby called an affirmative as his captain disappeared into the trees.

Coby let out a breath, trying to shake away or ignore the negative thoughts he'd grown so used to hearing, those same thoughts now trying to tell him that Luffy didn't want him because he was weak and useless. Luffy wasn't like that, and there was something he could do. He could be of use!

"Zoro-sensei, we can get there by following the beach around the island," Coby offered as he turned downhill. He stepped forward to try to slide down the path covered in oil, losing his footing in the process but avoiding any injuries.

"Got it." Zoro picked him up and threw Coby over his shoulder, starting to walk.

"Uh, Zoro-sensei?" Coby questioned after 30 seconds. "Why are you headed for the cliffs?"

"Obviously the forest is a shortcut."

"But you don't have any sense of direction. You'd get lost in a heartbeat."

"Says who?"

"Everyone," Coby deadpanned. "Here." The boy wiggled out of his master's grip and grabbed his wrist. "Let's go." With no imminent danger in sight, the pink-haired boy quickly led the wayward samurai around the island's the sandy circumference. The beach had an excellent view of the ocean, but the swordsman and student didn't have time for that, their speed getting them to their goal about seven minutes later.

The battle had already begun. Their captain fought on the front line on the slope to the beach, beating back waves of pirates with assistance from Usopp's long-ranged attacks. Nami was nowhere to be seen, but, if her obsession was anything to go by, she was probably somewhere on the cat-themed pirate ship grounded on the beach next to their own ragtag ships. The shore looked the same on the north side as it did on the south, though the sunlight now came from the sky to their right.

The swordsman jumped in without a second thought, blindsiding the advancing pirates from the left. Six of them went down before the others could perceived the newest threat, blood coloring the sand from their slashed torsos.

"Hey Zoro!" Luffy waved, punching a pirate with his other, stretched arm. "What took you so long?"

"Shrimp insisted on taking the long way around," Zoro answered through the sword in his mouth.

The sight of blood sent Coby into an automatic response, doing his best to hide by the cliff. Unluckily, two pirates saw Coby trying to hide and rushed toward him, not wanting to have to fight the two monsters instead. Coby very nearly panicked, but his limited sword training and the view of his teacher fighting a half dozen or so pirates alone was enough to get him to pluck up his courage. He slowly moved from his hiding spot.

"Come here, brat!" one of the thugs sneered, brandishing his sword. His companion carried a club half the size of the roset himself. He charged, swinging his club horizontally to splatter Coby's brains across the cliff. The young pirate's eyes widened, the pink-haired teen instinctively ducking under the wild swing. Using his limited knowledge of swordwork, Coby swung his bokken, impacting the club-wielding pirate's lead food. It wasn't enough to break the leg, but the force took the pirate's footing out from under him. Before Coby could capitalize on it, however, the other pirate drew closer.

Coby's sudden burst of courage ended and his long-ingrained fear took hold. He fled, avoiding the sword swinging at him and trampling the fallen pirate in the process. He ran to his master, hiding behind him and forcing the green-haired man to block and hold back all of his opponents.

"Shrimp? What the Hell are you doing?"

"I can't do this, Zoro-sensei! I'm not strong enough!" A pirate with a headband that looked like cat ears swiped at the child who jumped out of the way. In retaliation, Zoro pushed the enemies off of his left-hand sword and cut him down.

"Yes you can, Coby," the swordsman urged, blocking three men at once. "Just stay close and remember what I showed you." Coby hesitantly shuffled out from behind the 19-year-old, but hurried back before joining the battle.

"No! I can't!"

"You wanted to protect the town, didn't you?" Zoro demanded. "Then forget about yourself and think about the villagers. They can't save themselves, so will you help save them, or will you run away and scar your back?" Zoro knew he was playing with Coby's beliefs, but they didn't have any time to waste at the moment.

As per his intention, Zoro's words struck a chord. Coby wanted to protect the village. He couldn't stop now, not in the middle of the fight. He stepped out from behind his teacher with more confidence and charged the men attacking him.

"Scars on the back are the shame of a swordsman!" Coby yelled. The pirates were caught off guard from the boy's sudden determination and fell quickly from the combined efforts of Zoro and Coby (more so the former than the latter, but that was irrelevant). The two finished their last opponent and put away their weapons.

Jango the Hypnotist, a thin man with colorful clothing, an Egyptian-style beard, and red, heart-shaped glasses tsked at his downed men. "Meowban brothers! Get out here!"

Two men emerged from the Bowles of the ship. One was thin and dressed in the top half of a suit with the sleeves cut off, Jean shorts (that did not match), high socks, hiking boots, and a maroon bow tie. He had light green hair swept to the right and a hunch in his back. Alongside this walking insult to fashion, his brother was a large, black-haired man with no shirt, red-and-black striped pants, a purple-and-pink striped cape, and a bell on a choker around his neck. Both had little cat-ear decorations on their heads and clawed gloves on their hands.

"I'm She'am!" called the thin one.

"And I'm Moochie!" the other called.

"And together we are the Meowban Brothers! At your service." The two jumped off the ship, landing before their captain, and bowed. "You called, Captain Jango?"

"Yes, I did. I need you two to kill these morons in our way."

"What?" She'am yelled.

"B-But they're clearly t-too strong for us," Moochie whimpered.

"You better do it or Captain Kuro will kill us all! We're late enough as is!"

"Alright!" She'am cried. "Just stop yelling!" The thin man started running toward Zoro and Coby, tears leaking from his eyes and his arms flailing. He had all of the Straw Hats fooled.

All but one.

"Don't fall for it, Zoro-sensei!" Coby shouted. "That's She'am of the Meowban Brothers! He and Moochie are known for acting cowardly to catch their opponents off guard! Plus they are the main cat burglars of the Black Cat Pirates!" Suddenly, She'am lunged, but Zoro caught his attack.

"Damn," the brother cursed, his clawed glove pressing against Zoro's Wado Ichimonji. "That kid saved your life." She'am leapt back, two sheaths tied to his back. "But he didn't save your swords." He removed the weapon holders only to find them empty of their usual sharp contents. "What?"

"Looking for these?" Zoro asked through his favorite sword, the other two in his hands. "You might have gotten my swords if Coby hadn't given me that warning. Thanks, Shrimp."

"Just be careful, Zoro-sensei. If you died..."

"I'm not gonna die, Shrimp." In the distance, Luffy and Usopp saw Nami sneaking out of the Black Cats' ship with a bag of treasure over her shoulder. Luffy wanted to call out to her, but Usopp slapped his hand over the other teen's mouth.

"Che. So you won't be that easy to beat," She'am threw the sheaths aside and gestured to his brother who lumbered up to stand beside him, "but can you take both of us on at the same time?" The two charged. "Die!"

"Tiger-" Zoro growled, positioning himself so his hand blades were parallel with each other and perpendicular to both Wado Ichimonji and the ground. He waited until his foes were in range before slicing. "-Trap!"

There was no movement for a moment before looks of shock sprouted on the faces of Zoro's enemies. Blood spurted from their chests and they went down. Blood pooled beneath She'am at an alarming rate. Moochie, however, painfully pulled himself onto his hands and knees and tried to drag himself over to his captain. His path took him right past Coby who whacked him in the head, knocking him unconscious.

"What the Hell is going on here?" Everyone able to turned to the slope where Klahadore, AKA Captain Kuro, stood with his special gloves on. The man stared down at the battle, his army at the bottom with the exception of the dead and dying on the incline, and there were some dead on the hillside because of Zoro's sharp weapon. Their four adversaries, three on the slope and Usopp on higher ground, looked at the butler/pirate with surprise. "How have four brats halted you, Jango?"

"Captain K-Kuro," Jango stuttered. "W-well...T-There was another, as w-well-"

"Oh, I'm sorry," he sassed. "Five brats held you back. Listen well, you imbeciles. You have five minutes to end this fight. After that, I will kill everyone here."

"Oh," Jango squeaked. "Y-Yes, thank you. You're too generous, Captain. Men, look at me." He pulled out a small, circular disk on a cord, waving it back and forth. "On the count of Jango, you will all grow stronger and defeat those whelps. One... two..."

Luffy blinked, his eye shifted from the swinging chakram to the Black Cats' ship where Nami appeared on the deck with a bag slung over her shoulder, their eyes meeting for a moment.

"Jango!"

"AHHHH!" the living pirates yelled, their bodies getting bigger than they had been. The small hoard of cat-themed buccaneers rushed at the band of misfits.

"Shrimp! Usopp!" Zoro called and he lined up with Luffy. "Cover our backs. Watch Kuro." The two most-cowardly fighters did so, staring down Kuro who did nothing but stand there with his Catclaws (sword-gloves) hanging at his sides. "I hope you aren't afraid of blood, Luffy," the green-haired swordsman commented as the pirates approached.

"Nope," Luffy frowned, tightening his fists. "Do what you have to. Gum-Gum Pistol!"

"Brave Claws of the Demon Cow!"

As battle sounded behind them, neither Usopp nor Coby turned back for fear of what they would see. Kuro glanced at his watch every now and then without batting an eye at the bloodbath and Luffy and Zoro fended off his former crew.

"Time's up," he said simply after five minutes. The ex-pirate hunched over, wobbling back and forth, head down and eyes shaded. The Black Cat Pirates panicked, trampling each other to try to get away. Kuro suddenly vanished from sight with a burst of unexplainable purple smoke. "Out-of-the-Bag Attack!"

Deep grooves of five parallel lines started appearing everywhere: the ground, the cliff walls, pirates, even the ship. Everywhere, Black Cats cried and ran for their lives, as unhelpful as that was. The Straw Hats tried to track the movements with less panic, though Coby and Usopp were on the verge of panic like their opponents.

Zoro ran to his student, shoving one sword in front of the boy's face. There was the clang of metal-on-metal and Kuro became visible for a second, an expression of slight shock on his face before he blurred out of sight again.

"Please Captain Kuro! Stop!" one pirate cried before his throat opened.

"Why the Pussyfoot Technique?" another asked before he lost an arm.

"Why are you doing this?" yet another whimpered, curled in a ball on the sand.

"I don't want to die!" That poor soul didn't get his wish.

"Stop it, you bastard!" Luffy yelled, throwing his arm forward. Five cuts appeared in a small burst of blood, but Luffy's arm weathered the blow. Kuro was moving so fast he couldn't perceive the new obstacle in his way until he'd run into it. Luffy clotheslined the other pirate captain, Kuro tumbling due to his extra momentum. "Those are your friends you're killing!"

"Friends?" Kuro warbled, sitting up from where he'd crashed into the cliff head-first. Blood oozed from a cut hidden by his black hair. "They aren't my friends. They are simply a means to an end; nothing but pawns in a captain's game." So distracted and dizzy was the pirate butler that he didn't notice that his four enemies had approached him.

Luffy grabbed ahold of his left arm and both his legs. Coby claimed the right arm, yanking his glove off of that hand just for good measure. Zoro stood over them, a sword at the man's throat.

"Usopp," Zoro spoke in an emotionless tone. "Would you like to do the honors?"

"With pleasure." The long-nosed sniper lifted his slingshot and loaded a small orange pellet. "This is for Kaya! Exploding Star!" As the name implied, there was a small explosion at the point of contact. Kuro slumped forward, breathing shallowly. He would survive if he received medical attention, probably. Zoro and Coby backed off, the latter going to gather his sword sheaths. Luffy picked up the man's limp form and chucked it at the band of pirates at the bottom of the ravine.

"Leave this island and never come back!" Luffy yelled. The pirates scrambled onto their ship with their captain and pushed off, fading into the distance as quickly as their ship would allow.

"Usopp/Captain Usopp!" The Straw Hats turned to see four figures, Kaya, Pepper, Carrot, and Onion, step out of the foliage. Kaya's white dress was stained with dirt and bits of bark, which suggested her trek through the woods was not as comfortable as it would have been for anyone else. They ran to their village's liar, only for Kaya to trip when nearly there. Usopp caught her gently and held her as she began to cry.

"I'm sorry, Usopp," she muttered as her tears soaked the teen's shirt. "I'm so sorry! I should've believed you! You've always helped me so much this past year, but… But it wasn't until I found Merry bleeding that I realized. I'm so, so sorry!"

"It's ok, Kaya," Usopp whispered, holding the frail blonde carefully. "We had it handled. I kept the town safe. As long as I can help in, the words "pirate are invading" will always be a lie. It's fine. You're safe." Usopp's words, kind through they were, could not stop the rich young woman from weeping. Pepper, Carrot, and Onion surrounded the two, spouting about how they'd known he was lying about the attack being a lie. While this happened, Nami returned from stashing her stolen treasure and Coby collapsed from exhaustion, his adrenaline dropping rapidly.

"Please... never... again," Coby wheezed.

"I didn't miss that much, did I?" Nami asked, her eyes scanning the battlefield and the bodies thereupon. Her eyes widened at the motionless She'am and the red-stained sand below him.

"Don't worry, Nami," Luffy assured, either oblivious to or ignoring the body, as Zoro picked up his now-sleeping student. "We just kicked their asses. How was your haul?"

"They only had a million Beris on their ship," Nami replied, hardening her heart. They were just pirates, she told herself. "It wasn't totally boring. Four guards easily overwhelmed."

"Great! Now let's-" Luffy was asleep before he finished his sentence, flopping to the ground. Nami glanced around, finding Zoro and Coby in similar states as their captain and Usopp and the rest of the locals gone. She sighed, sitting next to the rubbery teen and running one hand through her hair.

"Saving an island, huh?" she whispered into the wind as the sun rose higher. "This is the second time, too. You gullible idiots need to stop being heroic or I'll feel bad."

The day and night passed quickly, most of the townspeople blissfully ignorant of the battle for their safety. Kaya invited the pirates (and Nami) to stay in her mansion for the night as thanks for saving her and the rest of the island, which the Straw Hats were thankful for. It had been a while since any of them had slept in an actual bed, so they woke the next day well rested and ready to depart. Usopp didn't show up either that night or in the morning, which seemed to make Kaya a little tense, but she tried to shake it off.

Kaya led them to the shoreline after a quick but filling breakfast, insisting that there was one more thing she wanted to offer. Waiting for them was her other, now primary, butler, a man with sheep-horn-like decorations in his puffy white hair named Merry. Bandages wrapped around his torso just poked out of his uniform, hinting to the remnants of Kuro's treachery within the mansion.

"This is the Going Merry," exclaimed Merry, gesturing the ship that bobbed in the water behind him. "She's a caravel, a slightly older model, but one of the fastest types on the seas. I built her myself many years ago for Miss Kaya's parents, but I'm afraid she isn't going to get much use here. We're sure she'll be happier with you. We've taken the liberty to stock her with a full month's worth of food to get you started."

Little did Merry know that his version of a month's worth and Luffy's version where very different. The small crew was too focused on their new ship to enlighten the butler, however.

The Going Merry was beautiful, with a red-and-white-striped cross sail and a sheep/ram figurehead, her brown horns a contrast to her white paint. The crow's nest was set at the top of the mast and the area over the crew's quarters was a wide upper deck that could be used for anything. A cannon pointed out under the sheep's head and another lay on the deck, kept from falling into the water by a white-painted railing that surrounded the top of the ship.

"Mine!" Luffy yelled, stretching himself onto the figurehead, much to Merry and Kaya's surprise. "This is the captain's seat! Mine only! Oh, what's that?"

"It's amazing," Nami gasped as her 'temporary' captain and their student swordsman inspected the vessel with excitement. "How can we repay you?"

"No payment is necessary," Kaya waved off as she chose to ignore how people's bodies should not stretch, stepping over to stand by her caretaker. "We only ask that you take good care of her. I haven't been able to travel with my illness, so I can't exactly use her."

"We will," the navigator nodded. "I can promise you that."

"Oh," Merry clapped. "Mr. Zoro. I heard that you are teaching the boy Coby, so I added a dojo under the crew's quarters with a full set of weights. Everything is nailed down, so it shouldn't go anywhere during a storm."

"Thank you very much," Zoro smirked, a slightly sadistic/slightly evil look coming across his face. "I'll be sure to train him well." On the ship, Coby shivered.

"HELP MEEEEEEE!" a voice cried. It seemed to come from Usopp, who was literally rolling down the road due to the large and overstuffed backpack he was using.

"Stop him!" Luffy ordered. "He's heading right for the ship!" The straw-hat-wearing teen jumped down before he and his First Mate lifted their left and right legs respectively. Usopp stopped when his face met their soles. On the bright side, his nose was spared thanks to the space between Luffy's sandal and Zoro's boot.

"Thanks," the sniper grunted, standing up and wiping the dirt off of his face. "Now it's time for me to set sail! I hope we meet again on the high seas."

"What are you talking about?" Zoro questioned as he climbed onto the boat. "Get on."

"We're friends, aren't we?" Luffy elaborated, stretching up to grab the railing. Again, Merry goggled. "You're on my crew, aren't you?"

"Yes!" Usopp cheered. "I'm a pirate captain!"

"Like Hell! I'm the captain!"

"Usopp," Kaya whispered, grabbing the teen's arm before he could start a pointless argument with Luffy.. "I… I know I can't stop you from leaving. You've been saying your dream was to be a pirate like your father for as long as I've known you, but I'm still going to miss you."

"Don't worry, Kaya," the sniper replied, placing a hand over hers and turning to face the blonde. "Just think; when I get back, I'll have true stories so outrageous they'll sound made up. As the old phrase goes: sometimes truth is stranger than fiction."

"I know," she sighed as she pulled out a piece of paper. "Here's my den-den number, so remember to call. Just... be safe. Ok?" Before Usopp could respond, Kaya leaned in and kissed him, freezing his world for a minute. She pulled back after a few seconds, leaving the long-nosed teen dumbstruck. He floundered, his eyes unfocused and his mouth flopping comically. The rich girl gave him a push to wake his brain up. "Now get going, you. Start having those adventures."

"R-Right," the sniper stuttered. "Right. Right! I'll travel the world before coming back to tell you about all my amazing adventures!" He climbed on quickly, jumping into the nearly-complete preparations for the Going Merry to leave.

"Set sail!" Luffy cheered. "To our next adventure!"

The ship departed, Luffy, Coby, and Usopp waving frantically as the island faded into the background.

"I'LL BE BACK, KAYA!" Usopp yelled, his voice echoing over the sea. "WAIT FOR ME!"

"Now let's party!" Luffy cheered. "TO ADVENTURE AND OUR NEW NAKAMA!"

"YEAH!"