NBT, Or Desperate Newbie?

Me and Anya both stop to look at each other. It's not unusual to hear the cry of a wild mob, either real or procedurally generated by the game's ambient sound engine, but this scream sounded distinctly human and quite distressed too.

"NBT?"

I say to Anya with a half-hearted grin.

Back in the early days of Co:De, it wasn't uncommon for Player Killing Guilds to set up traps where one would pose as an innocent, newbie player being terrorised by a big bad mob. This would entice lonely shut-ins to become their "Knight in shining plate-carriers," only for them to be pumped with copious amounts of virtual lead and have their bodies looted for any valuables. We usually call these types of traps NBTs, or neckbeard traps, to the detriment of their unfortunate victims.

"Not likely, the game's meant to shut down today who'd want to grab someone's loot if they're going to be keeping it for a few hours max, and plus, no one's really been NBT-ing since version 3.0 came out, since people stopped falling for it."

I scratch my head. She is right. I mean, I guess some people could do it for some sick-twisted fun, not that I have much sympathy for newbie-hunting neckbeards, but even then, most of the large PK-er guilds moved onto other tactics after version 3.0.

R-R-R-R-RUMMMMBLE

Before either of us can finish our train of thought, we were interrupted by the ground beneath us vibrating violently with earthquake-like strength, sending trees toppling over like barky dominoes and causing the birds nestled within their branches to fly erratically into the air. I scan my field of vision looking for the source of the quake, then I hear the distinct clacking and crumbling of falling rocks.

"Hey, Anya, Was that mountain always that...well...slanted?"

I ask rhetorically to Anya, who is currently rubbing her backside after being knocked over by the sudden force of the vibrations.

"I know Co:De has destruction physics, but... I've never seen so much land get obliterated at once."

Soon the cause of the devastation comes into our view: a mechanical monstrosity resembling a dragon. The creature was clad in black reactive armour around its back and joints, and on each arm it had mounted two 155mm railgun howitzers that shot explosive rounds at a fire rate of 10 per minute. Above it was a red HP bar as well as the mob's name in blue: 'EXPERIMENT 210: Zwierdia'

The mob itself was actually not all that strong; it was part of the second story quest in the game's official storyline. For a party of 3 or even 2, it should be no problem, and for solo players, an NPC party would have no problem taking the beast down.

"Uhh, Anya, correct me if I'm wrong, but that thing isn't usually supposed to just be waltzing through Liteyn Forest, no?"

"The only time it's allowed to leave the boss area is after the player triggers the flying section of the boss battle."

We both look at each other and nod, sprinting as fast as we can to the site of what appears to be a rather unique event. Was this some sort of closing event nobody was told about? Is that why the servers haven't shut down yet? But surely they would make an announcement about that, right?

We arrive near the epicentre of the devastation, taking cover behind a large rock in order to get a better scope for the situation. I peek my head slightly out of cover.

"Uhhm..."

And what I see can only be described as one of the most pathetic displays I've ever witnessed in my years of playing Co:De. In front of me, I see a player avatar with fiery blonde hair in jungle camo-dyed military overalls.

"AAAAHHHHH OHMA GAH OHMA GAH HELPDISSTUPIDTHINGSABATAEAT ME!!!!!"

waving her stock Beretta M12 around firing strays at poor innocent trees who just so happened to get caught in her wake of incompetent destruction and babbling incomprehensible nonsense as the premium cosmetic fox ears she's attached to her character flap in accordance with her erratic movements.

"A newbie?"

Anya's voice enters my ear from below; she too is now watching this event...unfold.

"Looks like it; what kind of person would buy a game on its closing day..."

Part of me wanted to laugh, but part of me sort of felt bad for her. She logged in on closing day, and now she's having the ever-loving crap scared out of her by an admittedly very intimidating-looking mob. It's the type of stupid story you would tell to your guildmates once you get better at the game, the type of story that would fill you with a longing sense of nostalgia looking back on it over the years, the type you would tell new players to make them feel better or inspire them. I wish she could have gotten to experience that, as so many of us did. It's sad...

"I'm going to go help her."

I say abruptly, Anya looks at me puzzled.

"She'll just respawn after she dies, you know."

"Yeah, and then she'll get frustrated--all that progress lost and not enough time to re-do it all. All the work she put in will be erased; all of this will become a bad memory, not a good one. I want her to remember this game, our game, as a good memory."

Anya still doesn't seem to fully understand, but she shrugs and says.

"I'm not opposed to fighting a boss if that's what you want. Do you remember the strat?"

"Yeah, I do, but... Anya, do you happen to have an RPG or something? Because I don't have one on me."

Anya shakes her head. Ordinally, the strategy for taking down Zwierdia would be to have one player to agro it, usually the tank, have one person serve as medic and heal the tank, and have another player DPS with a rocket launcher or anti-material rifle. The unarmoured sections are a red herring you want to try aiming for its spine, stripping away the armour to reveal it's reactor. A hit to the reactor will deal 800% damage, and it will also stun-lock the boss. The only problem is that me and Anya are both roughly DPS configured, and neither of us could pierce its armour.

"I have an idea."

"Hmm?"

I look down at Anya, who clasps her hands together, nodding slightly.

"Give me all your grenades, bar the EMPs."

I open my inventory and drag all the spare sticky grenades, ordinary frag grenades, and incendiary grenades from it. They land in a heap on the ground. Anya hovers her hand over the pile and transfers it to her inventory.

"I need you to agro Zwierdia and bring it into the forest. I'll brief you further once you're there."

Ever the mysterious one. Well, whatever, if Anya has a plan, then I can't let her down. I nod and roll out of cover, running into the path of the towering 3-story monstrosity.

"Hey you!"

The frazzled newbie girl turns to me, blubbering and sobbing, her face a mess of virtual tears and snot. Her eyes light up as if a messiah has come to save her from the jaws of certain death.

"THANK GOD, I'M SAVED. THIS MECHA LIZARD FREAKS BEEN CHASING ME DOWN FOR AN HOUR I THOUGHT I-"

The girl's blabbering was interrupted by a heavy ku-thunk as the "Mecha Lizard" loaded another shell into the howitzer of its right arm. The newbie looks up, staring her 155mm grim reaper in the face, hopelessly awaiting its highly explosive scythe.

"Watch it!"

I shoulder-charge her out of the way of the shell, which ejects dirt into the air as it narrowly avoids direct-hit insta-killing us; unfortunately, the shells it shoots also produce splash damage, which means I still end up with a considerable chunk of my HP drained. I feel a stinging pain in my side; this doesn't make any sense. I always play with pain simulation turned off.

I grab the girl's arm and begin moving through the forest with her in-toe.

"You know how to shoot?"

"Uhhh, not really."

"Huh? Not really?! Didn't you, y'know, play the tutorial? That teaches you how to shoot at least to a basic level."

"OK FINE I SKIPPED THROUGH IT BECAUSE IT WAS BORNING AND I THOUGHT HOW HARD COULD IT BE. WELL, TURNS OUT, IT'S REALLY DAMN HARD!!!"

"Ugh, Jeez, it's fine. We'll tackle that hurdle later. For now, listen to me carefully. There's about a 3-second window between when Zwierdia reloads and when it shoots. As soon as you hear that clunk, count three seconds in your head, then dash in the opposite direction. And make sure to keep behind me, got it?"

"Uh...Yeah! Got it..."

I wait for the familiar clunk and count up three seconds in my head: 1.... 2.... 3.... As soon as the third second finishes, I charge sharply to the right, activating the in-game evade mechanic, causing me to accelerate sideways just in time to avoid the shell that had upheaved the earth a few metres to my left. I glance over at the newbie, and surprisingly, she executed the instruction flawlessly; in fact, she even looked "in the zone." A secret rhythm game, god? I don't get much time to ponder the newbie's alter-ego as I hear Zweirda loading another shell into its monstrous cannons. In sync with the beat of the death machine's on Zweirda's arms loading their hulking metal projectiles, we dodge and weave through the trees, escaping certain death with milliseconds to spare.

After a few minutes of our impromptu death dance, I hear Anya's voice through the party chat.

"Commencing attack"

I look behind me, just in time to see Anya leap from a tall pine tree into the air, a few paces behind Zweirda.

She hurls a sticky grenade with spectacular accuracy right at the armour protecting Zweirda's reactor, near the nape of its neck. A small ball of flame erupts from the spot where the grenade lands.

"A tree?! How did you even get up there? Aren't you like 4'9?!"

"I Jumped"

Anya responded curtly, once again, my attempt at friendly banter and teasing is in vain.

I sigh, shaking my head as I focus on the terrain in front of me. In the distance, I spot a sheer cliff--a dead end?! I didn't even think about that! I could veer us to the right or left and avoid it, but that would mean Anya wouldn't have a clear line of sight.

"ANYA! BIT OF A PROBLEM...Well huge problem, actually. There's a dead end in front of us. What do we, uhhhh well, what do we do?"

There's a brief silence on the other end. I wait in anticipation, awaiting Anya's grand strategy. If I know her, which admittedly I really don't know her all that well, but if I know her enough, I know she has something spectacular cooked up.

...

After a long pause, Anya finally answers.

"Go big or go home."

"Uhh Anya That admittedly was rather bad ass sounding, but uh, what the hell do you mean by that?!"

I shout frantically at Anya; however, it wouldn't take me long to find out as I once again look behind me, just in time to see Anya leaping from another tree, holding what appeared to be ALL OF THE GRENADES in her arms and craddling them tightly towards her chest.

I watch in awe as she releases the explosive payload onto Zweirda like a human bomber aircraft. A huge plume of white and orange erupts from the back of Zweirda. Sparks shoot through the air and scatter on the ground like thousands of mini asteroids raining down onto the soft forest soil, lighting up the sable brown dirt in a warm, pulsating orange glow.

The explosion dissipates into a cloud of thick white smoke and ash as Zweirda enters its stun-locked state, crashing to the floor with an echoing thump. As Anya Lands next to the incapacitated behemoth's body firing rounds into its exposed neon blue reactor core, I glance up at Zweirda's HP. It seems like Anya's bombing raid really did a number on the beast, unsurprising considering she unleashed a whole inventory's worth of grenades onto it. Even still, one person isn't going to be able to widdle away that health bar to zero.

I spin around and sprint backward towards Zweirda, leaping over its outstreched arms and landing on it's spine. Simultaneously, me and Anya empty mag after mag into the reactor, slowly but surely widdling away the massive health bar, but unfortunately, the Co:De Devs are cruel and like to punish players who don't play by their rules.

Zweirda heaves its colossal body off the ground; it whips a scaly black tail outward, sending me flying into a tree.

"AAAAAGH!"

A shrill scream escapes my throat. A searing pain rips through my spine, like nothing I've ever experienced. It feels like every disc in my spinal cord is being crushed and twisted. I can feel myself going light-headed as my brain responds to the intense pain. Tears well up in my eyes as I sit slumped next to a tree.

As if sensing that its prey has been there since the weekend, Zweirda turns its head towards me, staring directly into my eyes with a ferocious, murderous intent. I should be afraid. I should be recoiling and shifting backwards, but my brain is so preoccupied with the agony that my back is in that it can't process the threat in front of me.

I shift my eyes towards my HP gauge, hoping to find some solace in the fact that I may still have some wiggle room for escape.

Oh...shit...1 HP left...