TALKING BIRD

I feel lightheaded, the world is zooming in and out. If this were an ordinary migraine, I'd blame it on exhaustion, but clearly, it is not.

Worse, I am now starting to hear the bird talk. "Hey, calm down. Mana deprivation is a very dangerous occurrence. First, start breathing in a steady rhythm."

I follow the bird's advice. In, out, breathe, in, out, breathe. My migraine starts subsiding. It works! I continue on breathing just at the right rhythm.

"Good," The strange bird continues advising me. "Now, close your eyes and think of absolutely nothing, just a blank space."

I obediently follow the bird's instructions. In the midst of nothingness, I feel a strange calm that embraces me with its silence. When I open my eyes, I feel my mana gradually rising back to normal levels.

The weird bird is still perching by the window. When it comes to strange birds, the first person I can think of would be Secre Swallowtail. However, Secre wouldn't be someone who'd nest in just a random person's crotch, wouldn't she?

Noticing my strange frown, the weird bird begins its clamoring. "Hey! You are thinking of something rude, right? Don't you dare, I will blast you with my magic!"

What is this childishness? "Yeah, says the perverted bird who was nesting in my crotch just some time ago."

The perverted bird is at the cusp of exploding. "I am not a perverted bird! I am Lu— ah! Damn it! Just call me Lu! And don't misunderstand, I was trying to use my magic, okay? It's just that it's difficult because of the state I am in. Anyways, how did you know it was me who was trapped just under your crotch?"

Lu, is it? I imagine the bird to be the legendary first Wizard King Lumiere Silvamillion Clover, but… that's impossible and too ridiculous. It is not like 'Lu' is a very uncommon nickname. Moreover, I don't remember the first Wizard King to have a personality like this.

I sigh in annoyance. "I knew it was you because I can sense Ki. That aside, how did you get out of your crotch-ly predicament." I make a nasty smile at the bird. It looks like I have the habit of teasing my savior, huh?

Strangely, Lu is unaffected. Instead, it has that naughty smile. "Well, a red-haired lass freed me from this crotch-ly predicament~"

"…"

Hmmm… I don't know why, but my brain is suddenly malfunctioning. Mereoleona peeking at the inside of my pants is damn ungodly. Wait, what if it's not Mereoleona? Maybe it's just someone who shares Mereoleona's hair color.

Lu without mercy continues teasing me. "She has blue eyes and a canine tooth. I think she got curious about your size, that's why."

Fuuuck! My dignity! I grab the bird and start squeezing it. "Die, you stupid! Die!"

"What are you doing?"

"…"

Mereoleona is looking at me strangely. Since when did she arrive here? And… what should I do? I stop strangling the bird, but I still didn't let it go. I direct it my killing intent. "You are dead, you stupid bird."

Lu with a begrudging look, starts struggling. "Beautiful lady, help me! The maniac is going to kill me! Help!"

Mereoleona as if she didn't hear anything turn her back around. "I will be waiting outside."

"W-hat?" I begin questioning my life. "What just happened?"

Lu as if losing half its life starts slumping its birdly shoulders. "Aw, shucks, looks like she cannot hear me…"

I catch on Lu's words. "What do you mean?"

Lu with a dull voice explains. "I've been a bird for at least half a millennia already. You are the first guy to understand my chirping. From what I can deduce, you must've awakened your second magic attribute, right? I believe the reason why you can understand me is because of this attribute."

Thank goodness. It looks like Mereoleona didn't overhear the embarrassing talk.

I exit my accommodation. I see Mereoleona waiting for me just outside near a horse carriage. "Hey there." I casually greet her.

With a business-only approach, Mereoleona starts attending to her duties. "I will be escorting you to the Magic Parliament. Get inside the carriage."

The insides of the carriage are stylish and fit a noble's taste. I can also detect traces of Vermillion nobility in the décor of the carriage. This is the power of high nobility. Clearly, Mereoleona must be doing this to impress me. She did try to recruit me yesterday after all.

Hmmm… I am really curious. "Miss Mereoleona, did you peek under my crotch?"

Mereoleona just looks at me with an apathetic gaze, no blushing, not even a look of disgust. "Yes, I did." What is this? This is too unnerving. The way she openly admits to it is scary.

I weakly raise my hands. "E-excuse me?"

Mereoleona without a change of her expression explains too calmly. "I got curious because it is bulging too much."

Sigh… I internalize my breathing, then place my palm to my mouth. This is my trick to cover my blushing cheeks. Fucking hell! This is all happening because of my encounter with that stupid bird!

Mereoleona not finding any abnormalities in our conversation continues at her own pace. "If you want, I can offer you the position of being my husband. In exchange, join my squad. What do you say?"

This is damn too tempting.

"Unfortunately," With a playful gaze, "Bleh~" I stick my tongue out.

I lick my lips in excitement. "You are not even Mereoleona, you pretender."

Then… "Crook, I must say,"

I raise my index finger, and without hesitation, "You are bold to come here," I unleash my "Dot of Singularity."