Lunchtime

"Kiyotaka-kun, you're extremely capable, aren't you?"

We took a break in a ruin devoid of any goblins. Chiaki had checked the vicinity and found them safe.

Each of us had brought our respective lunches. My attention quickly drawn to Kei's. 'That's still a bread, yes... But with all those supplementary ingredient, wouldn't that cost a price?' I probably should search an excuse if she asks me for money.

Anyway, during that peaceful session, it was Suzune who pointed that out.

"You think so?" I pretended as though I knew nothing.

The bread I ate tasted nothing spectacular. The price was worth the taste. I'd meant to save my money.

"I agree," Chiaki purchased the same stuff as me, adding extra ingredients in between as a flavor booster. "Kiyotaka-kun is doing reeeally great. I'm amazed that he could thoroughly drown out his noise with those iron gears, even went as far as leading the detached group all by himself." 

Ken nodded as he took a sip from his drink. "He's quick-witted in a fight. Our enemies have always been knocked down quickly whenever they confront Kiyotaka."

"I can say the same to you, Ken..."

He laughed it off. "I just didn't try to come up with anything but raw strength to overwhelm them."

"Yeah, sure."

I wouldn't think Ken was a muscle head. He simply didn't see the reason to devise his own plan to handle them.

"But, come on, let's be frank," Kanji nibbled on some dried meat he picked up. I don't think it was deliberate, but he had a funny look on his face. "Kiyotaka, you never once changed your facial expression in those times. What's wrong with that? It feels off... you get what I mean?"

"Yeah, I wondered about that too," Kei stared at me, her expression curious.

"Well..."

I've been wondering about this myself, though not as deep. 'What caused me to be different from them?'

I'm not a nice guy, that's for sure. Even if these assembled people were to die in front of me, I doubt I would feel a thing. They're not like me. They're good-natured folks.

I would neither claim I'm on the evil side. I wouldn't commit them for no reason, especially whenever driven by emotional urges. So, that puts me somewhere between good and evil. 

However, that's not the primary issue here.

What is it that led me to be that person?

I have few speculations. For example, I've been living through dangerous situations than this. That's the easiest answer and why I could feel indifferent about all this. There might be people dropping down, or dead, in front of my eyes along the way. And the reason I have exceptional abilities.

"...It's probably because of my circumstances— is what I think," I responded indifferently. "I can't tell. They were nowhere to be found. The memories. Still, it seems that I do have trouble expressing something. Or to feel them, perhaps." 

They didn't seem to know how to react. That's not a negative matter, by any means. I had no intention of giving a more thorough explanation anyway.

Suzune calmly intervened. "We shouldn't rely on him too much. That's not how a party work. Well, our opponents are too weak to give us progress either way."

"I get what you're saying..." Kikyou smiled, sincerely. She tends to get uptight with us. It seems that her attitude had eased up slightly. "Since I'm a mage, and often covered, I think I have a broad view of our teamwork."

Yousuke chimed in. "Me too— is what I want to say. Me and Kei-san are still taught self-defense skills, even in our basic training. While we aren't allowed to use sharp weaponry, we aren't completely useless in combat either. Sadly, mages have it worse in that regard. At least, initially."

"...You're right," Kikyou appeared disoriented for a brief second. She recovered immediately. "Um, first of all, I think Chiaki-san is perfectly fitted to be a thief. She isn't prone to panicking, and can withstand her enemies well despite her lack of experience and skills. With her versatile build, Chiaki-san managed to utilize them nicely."

Chiaki slightly chuckled, somewhat abashed. "I'm glad I did well."

"W-What about me?" Kanji blurted out, though judging by his expression, he was a little dubious about doing a good job himself. '...He is surprisingly self-aware.'

"Kanji-kun did well with the long-range strike," Kikyou put on a bright smile, vanishing his doubts in no time. "Panicking in such situations is natural. You can simply fix it over time."

Kanji instantly beamed. "Y-Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Kikyou-chan!" He was truly easy to please.

'Kikyou was perceptive. Not only Chiaki and Kanji, she could describe Suzune's plus and, minus, flawlessly. Suzune seemed surprised by that. I suppose that's a given.'

"Kei-san and Yousuke-kun didn't particularly helped directly in combat, but you two always fixated on our comrades' battle, ready to charged in whenever they are injured or cornered."

I hadn't seen them both so much before. Kikyou's words are pretty helping.

Kikyou looked Ken and me in turn. She was still smiling. "I don't think I need to say them anymore, do I?"

"I guess, yeah," I responded.

Ken shrugged.

"Since we have the time," Suzune began, grabbing the attention of all members. "We're going to changed our aim. If we only target groups of three to a maximum of five, based on the circumstances, Kiyotaka-kun and Ken-kun will be the only ones contributing to the battle. The remaining, particularly Chiaki-san and myself, won't get any experience. The goblins are too weak that our warriors could finish them off before Kikyou-san and Kanji-kun able to move. Even then, it's questionable if both of them are actually improving from it. Therefore, we will be taking a certain amount of risk, by concentrating the hunt on a group of six or so goblins. Any comments?"

"I totally won't object," Ken readily agreed. "I mean, it doesn't feel so great, slaughtering them one-sidedly and all."

The majority of the party members had no objections either. Majority of them.

"Is that truly necessary?" Yousuke questioned. 

Suzune returned his gaze. "For our party improvement, yes."

"It's excessive." Yousuke furrowed his brow. "That would mean you view them as self improvement means."

If I could laugh, I'd have laughed by now. 'What is he talking about?'

The other comrades had similar reactions, as though whatever he uttered was pretty weird. For one, Chiaki looked like she was about to sneer.

Suzune openly snickered. "That's not all, actually. Not only for self-improvement, we view them as our source of money, to make a living. That's what this job is all about. What point are you trying to make?" Yousuke fell silent. Suzune went on. "In the first place, we've killed them. Your views won't change the fate of those who died. Also, we aren't doing this murder voluntarily. You should've know that, Yousuke-kun."

The man lowered his head. "...I just don't want us to turn into some emotionless murderers."

Suzune went quiet momentarily. "...That's not practical. Like it or not, you must get accustomed to the lifestyle."

Yousuke clenched his fists tightly. I can definitely understand where he's coming from. 

We're effectively a group of people used as Alterna's instruments of war. We aren't even aware of what we're trying to accomplish.

Pretty much all the choice our clueless group gets is to fight. They don't have many options. They can't resist. There're no points.

They'll require an exceptionally advanced alternate skill to find any other option. That, or voluntarily being a slave of a corporation. Alterna's own circumstances weren't exactly kind, not to mention the fact that volunteer soldiers weren't looked upon positively, so the residents had trouble accepting them easily.

'My knowledge is still lacking.'

'To begin with, what does Alterna have to do with that tower on the hill? My instructor at the guild told me it was called the Forbidden Tower. A tower in which there are no entrances and exits.'

'That doesn't make sense. Yet, I am completely in the dark as to how I could exit the tower. Have I even been in that tower at all?' 

My memory felt like it was playing tricks on me. It was the most uncanny sensation I had experienced up to this point.

'Why am I even still alive until now?'