Trever's Frustration

『You have been killed!』

Trever died. Again. It was the third time this game already. Yet again, it's because Yuel wasn't there to help him.

"Where are you at?" Trever asked. "I can't 1v2 them!"

"But, I told you to play defensively..." Yuel said, averting his eyes.

"You saw how my previous fights went and you still leave the lane? Support please?"

"Sorry. I'll go defend Bot."

"Yeah, great! Come back right after I'm dead! Such helpful, so support!" Trever was losing his shit. This kid just kept screwing him all game! Fuck!

"Ugh." Yuel just hung his head without saying a word. Well, maybe Trever went a little too far. Yuel definitely deserved some criticism, but...

"Whatever," Trever shook his head. "Just make sure you actually support me next time, got it?" Seriously, what's wrong with this kid? Didn't he see Trever struggled in lane? Yet, instead of helping, he wandered hell knew where. It's as if every possible bullshit was out to get Trever this match.

Like, for real. The hell was wrong with this match? Ever since Trever got himself killed the first time, nothing went his way anymore. He was at freaking 0/3/0 already, a score for an exemplary feeder. If this were a Ranked match with some randoms, he'd be flooded with the insults by now. 『OMG feeder noob uninstall game』

How did this happen? They did such a good job the last two matches, he was sure they gonna dominate this one as well. The enemy changed their positions a little, but so what? StormBlitz was still stronger! They had this in the bag!

... yet, he got himself killed in less than five minutes into the match. How did that shit happen? Why the heck didn't Yuel follow up on his attack? Where was the supporting at, yo!?

Or, was that Trever's fault? Did he rush too much? Honestly, he was a little greedy when chasing the Elf back then. Yeah, maybe it wasn't exactly the smartest play ever. Yuel still could had supported it better, but okay, it wasn't just the kid's fault.

Anyway, that first death wasn't a huge deal. Everything would be fine once Trever redeems himself. It's payback time, yo! He'll wreck that annoying Elf & Warlock duo! An eye for an eye! A kill for a kill!

By scoring a revenge kill, he'd fully make up for his previous death. The team would no longer be at a disadvantage because of him. In fact, they' might even seize the momentum! Awesome! He'll get that kill for sure! At least, that was the plan...

Instead, he died. Again. He even announced out loud he was going after the Elf, yet Yuel still failed to protect him. Like seriously, the heck was Yuel doing? Kid was useless!

In the end, instead of settling the score, Trever fed the Elf even more. Awesome. The enemy just gained further advantage! Exactly what Trever wanted! Fuck.

Good job, he screwed his entire team. Shit, why was it happening? Why!? He was the senior! The captain! He was supposed to lead the others with his plays, not to drag them down! Not like this!

After all this, Yuel told him to hug the Turret and play safe. Seriously? [Seriously?] Trever lagged behind the enemy Carry after dying twice, yet all Yuel suggested was to turtle. Not to try resetting the score via kills, but to play full defense and let the enemy steamroll them. GG.

What a pain. No matter what people preached about the value of hugging towers when playing from behind, it never resonated with Trever. He had to go aggressive! He had to kill the Elf! That's the only way to come back from this situation. Yuel should had understood that too, as the guy who always came up with crazy aggressive tactics. Yet, Yuel advocated playing defensively? Was today the end of the world or something?

Well, whatever. Yuel declared he gonna defend Mid, so there's nothing Trever could do. He couldn't charge in without a Support, because that'd be a 1v2. Frustrating, but he agreed to sit under tower like a good boy. His chance to redeem himself would surely come. He just had to wait out. Just. Wait. It. Out. Gah.

Even though he stayed by the Turret, he constantly sought an opportunity to get a kill. Turtling wasn't nearly as effective when the opponent wasn't scared of diving in. Even while playing defensively, Trever had to be on the lookout for a chance to turn the tables around. He needed that kill! The team needed that kill! He had to score that kill to redeem his shitty performance!

As the thoughts swirled in his mind, an opportunity presented itself for real. He didn't miss it. He couldn't possibly miss it. The Elf got too greedy when pushing, getting his ass shot by the Turret. He dropped all the way down to 30% HP. Awesome! A huge chance to to finish him off! He even began retreating! This was the opportunity Trever had been waiting for!

He left the Turret and chased after the injured Elf. No way he gonna miss this chance But, then Eldritch Nightmare happened. The Warlock robbed him of his vision and slowed him down. Not only he couldn't pinpoint his target in the darkness, but even returning to the Turret was a challenge.

That's when it hit him: it was a trap. He was baited! Fuck! He fired arrows into the darkness, trying to strike an invisible foe. But, it was in vain. He was doomed. Another death, the third one already. Things just escalated from terrible to seriously fucking terrible.

Damn! If only Yuel was here! He could had protected Trever with Aegis until Eldritch Nightmare was over. Then, Trever could had easily pursued his prey and would had finally settled the score. But no, Yuel just had to be in Mid for whatever reason.

Dammit. Three deaths in a row without achieving anything, that's how Trever ended up with a dumb 0/3/0.. The game hadn't even reached the team-fighting phase yet, but he already screwed his team. Yes, him. The senior. The captain. Of all people. No matter how hard he lashed at Yuel, deep down he knew: the blame laid with him. He fucked up. Hard.

Why did it turn out like this? Why did he keep messing up in the most critical moments? He used to be a king of Classmancers back in grade school. After failing to stand out in the soccer club, he tried Classmancers and became a celebrity among his peers. That's what hooked him on the game. He forgot all about the unrewarding ball game and focused on Classmancers.

Being a Classmancers ace didn't exactly impress girls, but that's fine. These chicks were just too young to understand its greatness. Once they grow up a little, they'd see how amazing Trever really was. Until then, he kept playing and bettering himself.

At some point, he and Aron became the best players in class. Heck, the best players in the entire school! Especially, when they used their trademark "Double Jungler" combo - they wrecked all the other kids. It was awesome. [They] were awesome.

When they took StormBlitz's entry exam, they totally fazed the examiners. It was a breeze, everybody said they had the makings of pro players. Unsurprisingly, Trever became a core member of the first string and debuted in the regionals as a junior.

For somebody like him, today's scrimmage was supposed to be a walk in the park. It was nothing compared to playing in the regionals. Yet, here he was: conceding kills left and right. Such a disgrace.

Ever since Ellen joined the club, nothing went his way anymore. He was forced to surrender the Carry role, got demoted to the second string and his overall performance dropped. Aron gave him an earful every other day. Life became hell.

Why? How did it happen? Incomprehensible. It's not like he lazed around or anything. In fact, he trained harder than ever after losing his spot as a starter. He refused going down without a fight! He wanted to teach that damn chick a lesson and reclaim his rightful place!

Alas, none of his effort paid off. Despite working hard and improving a lot, he always blew it during important moments. For example, like how he lost it during Lars's entry exam and almost ruined the whole thing. It always struck him suddenly, without explanation. It was like a bad dream, an illusion. He always refused to believe it was really happening to him, until it was too late to recover.

To be blunt: he fell apart. No matter how strong he felt before the match or how decently he performed, he had a tendency to fall apart during critical moments. It's a curse which had been haunting him since forever, even all the way back in grade school. That's the main reason he failed to stand out in the soccer club. He was usually a strong forward, but sometimes he'd just miss every shot and waste every opportunity his team created for him. He hoped to escape that curse by switching to Classmancers, but ended up carrying over that bad luck.

These were just "bad days", that's how he called them. Sometimes, things simply didn't go his way. He'd become agitated, desperately trying to fix everything he messed up. But, the harder he worked to redeem himself, the more he screwed himself and his team in the process.

"It's just not my day." That's how he used to dismiss these incidents. There were some "good days" and some "bad days", that's how life rolled. Sometimes he was on fire and dominated everybody, other times he played like a noob and anybody wreck him. Shit happened, that's life for ya.

Even with this glaring weakness weighing him down, he was appointed as a starter by the end of the first year. Everybody recognized him as one of the best players in the club despite his occasional breakdowns. The breakdowns were pretty rare anyway, way rarer than the ones he experienced in soccer. Truly, Classmancers was the right game for him!

The more experience and confidence he gained in the club, the less frequent his breakdowns became. Aron still nagged about them whenever they happened, but everybody else just accepted them. Everybody had their off days, their "bad days". There's nothing special about it.

All in all, things were going great for Trever. That is, until that fateful entry exam. As a junior, he was in the shoes of an examiner this time around. The rookie he played against on lane was Ellen.

He vaguely remembered that nerdy girl, she was a year below him in grade school. Always wearing thick glasses and being kind of a weirdo, she probably didn't have many friends. Or, any friends. There also weren't many kids her age in the school who played Classmancers, so she tried mixing into Trever's gang. Pretty admirable, considering how shy and closed-off she seemed to be.

He didn't dislike the girl. In fact, he thought she'd be kinda cute if she took better care of herself. She sucked at the game, though. Coupled with her being the weirdo she was, it didn't take long before she became the laughingstock of the group. Everything about her was ridiculed, from her appearance to her speech to her gaming skills.

Trever also laughed at her, but not because he disliked her or anything. It's just that she was a weirdo and her desperate attempts to play on par with the boys were hilarious. She always came to their class during lunch breaks, only to make a fool out of herself with her poor skills. It was so dumb.

"You just ain't cut for it." Trever told her. "It's fine if you wanna watch, but I don't think you should play. I mean, your team always loses, no matter who you play with"

After that, Ellen stopped coming. He considered calling her over, but it was awkward so he gave up. That was the last time he ever saw that eccentric nerdy girl.

The next time he saw her was during that fateful entry exam. The girl who appeared before him was definitely Ellen, yet she looked nothing alike. Her big glasses were gone, probably replaced with contacts. Her long messy hair was cut shorter, giving her a wild and daring look. But, the most notable difference was her attitude: she looked strong, brimming with confidence. She walked with her head straightened and had no trouble making eye contact. She was a world apart from the shy girl he knew, who used to stare at the floor all the time and stuttered every other word.

In fact, she... She was kinda cute, Trever's heart even skipped a beat when their eyes met. How could this cool chick be the same weirdo he used to make fun of? It was unreal.

Contact between club members and examinees was frowned upon, but he decided to strike a conversation anyway. Based on how poorly she played in grade school, she's not gonna pass anyway.

"Hey there," he greeted her. "Remember me?"

"Oh, you actually made it into the club." Ellen replied with a foxy smile. "I'm so glad."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because it means I get to destroy you." She smiled like an angel, but her words sent a shiver down his spine. From her striking beauty to her sharp tongue, anything and everything was different from the nerdy girl he remembered.

"Um..." He had no idea how to respond to that greeting. She harbored a grudge against him, that much was clear. Well, he and his pals were kinda mean to her in grade school, so no surprise here. When he looked back on his actions, he felt he was kinda a scumbag back then.

But, too bad for her, because she not gonna get her revenge. Regardless of how poorly he treated her before, it didn't change the fact she was a weak player. He was like twenty leagues above her back in grade school and he got that much better since then thanks to the club. He was even gonna be a starter this year, he was killing it!

This bulletproof confidence was shattered to pieces during Ellen's entry exam. She was nothing special at first, he thought it'd be a breeze. However, slowly but surely, he felt a rope tightening around his neck. Suffocating him. Draining his life. Crushing him. He still stronger, yet somehow his strength turned against him.

Time and again, he failed to kill Ellen. And, after every failure, the next fight was that much harder. He was grinded to death. Slowly. Veeeery slowly. But, eventually, she killed him.

It was a "bad day". A [very] "bad day". He performed worse and worse as the match progressed, conceding kills left and right.

Ellen showed no mercy. She took advantage of his poor condition and fed on every last drop of his blood. He became a feeder on a whole different level, it was the most embarrassing match of his life. His poor performance destroyed the balance of the match, messing up the entire exam. Needless to say, Aron was furious.

Trever simply couldn't comprehend. Wasn't he a strong player? Didn't everybody say he had the makings of a pro? Didn't he completely wreck Ellen back in grade school? Yet, despite spending a whole year in a serious club, he was completely stomped by her. Even for a "bad day", that was too much.

"My, turns out you're a trash tier player. I'm so disappointed." Ellen told him that after the exam.

... What? He? Trash tier? How was that even...?

His whole world collapsed. The skill he thought he possessed, the great effort he thought he put into improving - all of it was stomped upon, by a girl who was a total scrub last year. The entire year he spent in the club's competitive environment was overshadowed by the progress Ellen made in that same time. It was unthinkable. Impossible. Yet, it happened.

Was that the extent of his skill? Was that as far as he could go no matter how hard he trained? His confidence took a dive. Every time he tried acting like a big shot, flashbacks from that match crossed his mind. It's like a curse was placed on him, torturing him at any opportunity it was given. Was that supposed to be Ellen's idea of revenge? Even though she called herself Athena, she was no goddess; she was a witch.

This bitter experience was carved onto his mind and popped up whenever he wavered in the slightest. Every time a game went south and he started questioning himself, the flood of negativity wouldn't stop. "Was it his fault? Was he too weak?" and so on and so forth. His concentration scattered all over the place and he performed worse and worse.

That's how StormBlitz blew the regionals in the first round last year. He lost himself in the first match and the enemy exploited that. He played so bad that the whole team ended up looking like a bunch of amateurs. What a disgrace. He made a laughingstock out of everybody.

And, the same exact thing was happening again right now in this scrimmage. The harder he tried to fix the situation by scoring kills, the worse everything became when he got himself killed instead. He knew: once things started going poorly for him, it only went downhill from there.

But, he refused to accept it! There had to be something he could do! There's no way the team gonna lose because of him! He was the senior and the captain! If he wasn't gonna pull through, who would!?

[Shit, what's wrong with me!?] Trever slammed on the table. His fists trembled, his breathing ragged and his forehead sweaty.

It was a curse. The witch's curse tortured him. Once it gripped him, it'll never let go. The only path he and his teammates will travel through will be one heading straight to oblivion...