CHAPTER SEVENTHEEN – The story of fake… 

"I`ll be in trouble if I don`t go back now but..." I walk towards the library. There was a note saying `Closed`, but the door is surely open. I was struck by the smell of dust and paper. The room where no one is supposed to be.

The window curtain flutters, and there was a girl there being exposed by the sun. She was comfortably sitting on the floor bare-footed, and she`s reading some book just like yesterday. Somehow, I feel relieved just seeing her. And as always, she`s surrounded by neatly placed books. And books that were scattered all around. Probably because of Sunohara. She sure has tremendous concentration if she didn`t even notice this. Or... she knew about it and all she could think of is ignore Sunohara purposely. 

"I pity him..." But it seems like I`m being ignored as well today.

"Hey..."I tried to approach and call her. No response.

"I`ve come. Don`t you notice me?" And of course, no response.

"Hey, say something." Flip...She flips the page with her slender finger. I was completely ignored.

"......" I watched her for a while. I look at her at point-blank range. Yet, she still continued reading. Her eyes are moving up and down, so it must be written vertically. Still, the way she reads the book so quickly is strange. Reading like that, is the content really entering her brain? Ah, she flips another page.

"Hey... am I really just going to watch you?!" Of course, she still ignored me even with my tsukkomi line.

"......"What should I do? I`ll say her name. I move my face closer to her ear. I can smell the scent of shampoo on her hair. Then I said it in a whisper.

"Hey, Kotomi." No response.

"Kotomi, Kotomi, Kotomi..." I try repeating it. Still no response.

"Kotomi?"I said it in the form of a question. But the result was the same.

"If that`s the case..." This is the last card...

"Kotomi...... chan." I gathered all my strength just to say that. And at that moment, her hand stops as she was about to flip another page. And at that moment, her hand stops as she was about to flip another page.

 She lifts her face up away from her book. She looks at me as if she has just awoken from a dream.

"Tomoya-kun." She smiles as if she`s really happy.

"Wait a minute, why did you notice me just now with that!?" She looks like she was the one surprised.

"You`re little late today."

"You`re very much late in noticing me too."

"??..." She surveys the surroundings as if she noticed something wasn`t right.

"Eh...?" She looks at library books that were scattered around.

"Eh, eh...?" She looks at me.

"...... You should handle books with care." She said that to me like a mother lecturing her child. She stood up and began returning the scattered books to the shelves.

"Well, I didn`t do it..." I realized that I was trying to explain myself.

"You were also cutting some pages though..."

"This one goes here and this one will be here..." She wasn`t listening. She carefully picks them up and put it in the shelves one by one. It couldn`t be helped, so I gave her a hand.

"All right..." I picked one and put it inside a not so full shelf.

"That`s not in that category." She then points somewhere.

"Here..." She accidentally touched my hand as she pointed to the proper place.

"Ah..." She quickly pulls back her hand. She looks at her finger tip as if it was scalded. She was acting really innocently. I realize that it was the first time I`ve seen her act girly.

"......" Anyway, I couldn`t even become of any use in sorting out the books. I just watch her silently. She bends her knees to gather the books on the floor. It seems she knows what kind of book she`s holding just by looking at the front cover. She gently pushed the books to their places without making a sound. I can see that she handles the books as if they`re really important to her. I wonder... do I have some precious things to care for? 

"Tomoya-kun... do you like books?" She asked that as she looks at me.

"I don`t like them. I don`t read a lot these days."

"I see..." She looks at little disappointed as she said that.There was a time when I liked reading books too though. It`s because I think if I find the words inside my heart, they might change me. Then I`d get tired right away. The books I bought that one time are in my room even now, collecting some dust. 

"You like books, right?"

"Yup, I really like them."

"Don`t you get bored just reading?"

"?"

"Do you know the meaning of going out sometimes to play with someone?" My words don`t really have a deep meaning to them, it`s just that I was planning to waste time by speaking to her.

"......" She became silent. I remembered Sunohara`s words.

"She`s completely beyond our level, she`s exempted from lessons since she can study by herself." She wouldn`t get blamed by anyone for not attending lessons, since she can do whatever shewants and still pass any university exam. It`s weird if I say so as well, but, something felt quite different.

"Well, you see..."

"You always bring books, right?" I changed the topic instinctively as I opened my mouth.

"Don`t you read the books here?"

"That`s not really why. I really like the books here but... I already read them all." She replied calmly. I tried surveying the whole library. From the window, to the center of the library, and to the high and well-organized bookshelves... You can see all sorts of books packed together. You probably wouldn`t be surprised if you compared it to a big library. But even still, I think there are like tens of thousands of books here. There`s no way she`s read all of them.

"If you`re joking, you should say it skillfully."

"???" Why is she reacting like that...? I watch her with an amazed face as she put the last book in its shelf.

"Now they`re back in their original places. They look happy lining up with their friends." It seems I`ve heard this line somewhere before.

"Umph..." She sits on her cushion. When I thought she was about to reach out to some book, she looked straight at me.

"Do you want to eat?"

"......"Why did it come to this...? 

"It`s already afternoon, right?"

"?"

"Well, you can also eat, whether or not it`s afternoon though..." I somehow made an excuse. She took the usual lunch box from her pouch handbag and opened its lid.

"Here."

"Yeah..." I accepted it as a result...

"I made it a little in the western style today. I have confidence in my chicken bacon roll. But I might have overcooked the omelet. The rice pilaf might also be a bit over cooked..." She tries her hardest to explain .She points to the contents of her small lunchbox one by one. The bacon, the omelet, the pilaf, they`re all inside the beautiful lunch box.

"......"

"?"

"You saved them all for me?" She nods as usual.

"Because I was full..." She smiles as she tilts her head. This half eaten box lunch wouldn`t fill my stomach. And I somehow don`t even know why I came here today too. I knew that there`s something grating in between my heart .It feels like I`m engulfed in the comfort of a familiar clothing that has thorns of faint guilt. That was the feeling if I would put my impression of her into words. I just couldn`t leave it as it is… I shouldn`t get involved with her any more than this.

"Well..." I scratch my head. You`ll get misunderstood if you`re too kind to strangers... I thought of preaching to her, but I changed my mind. Because she was looking at me with uneasy eyes as she waits for my reply.

"I`ll take some then."

"Okay! These are your chopsticks, Tomoya-kun."

"Yeah..." I receive a pair of black chopsticks. I picked up the chicken bacon that she offered to me, and put it in my mouth.

"... mmm." It`s quite good. And then, the omelet and after that, the pilaf... Just as she said, it was over cooked. But, I think she`s used to cooking, and it does have a nice taste.

"Is it delicious?" 

"Kind of."

"I`m glad." She then smiled as if she was relieved. She really does look happy. I stuff the other food inside my mouth as she watches me. I was thinking as I eat. Really now, I wonder who is this girl? Makes me think, `I wonder why did I come to see her?` The lunch box was really not enough. I soon finished eating all of it.

"That was delicious." I hand her the empty lunch box and the chopsticks.

"I`m really grateful." Those words came out naturally.

"Well..." She lets out a small voice as she hesitates to say something.

"Ah... I forgot to buy tea. I`ll go buy some..."

"Wait, wait, wait!" I quickly stop her from leaving. There`s only ten minutes before lessons end as I look at the wall clock .She`s different to an official class skipper, and I`m in the middle of searching for Sunohara. I think I should return or they`ll mark my attendance as absent.

"I don`t have time so I`ll be going..." I stand up and she also did the same as if I fished her out of her cushion. She stays still as if she`s waiting for me to say something. If I didn`t come, she probably would have been waiting the whole time. Together with her half eaten boxed lunch and surrounded by books that don`t speak. That`s what I felt.

"Hey..."

"?"

"I`ll be eating here next week as well. I`ll bring some bread with me. That`s why, you should eat all of your boxed lunch. If you don`t, your body will weaken." The girl was looking at me with her usual blank expression. Even still, it seems that all of my words went into her head. And then, she nods.

"Okay, that`s what I`ll do... But... I`ll also be happy if you eat my boxed lunch." Saying that, she narrows her eyes and look at me.

"Yeah. I got it. We`ll share it together with my bread."

"Share...Yup, we`ll share it..." She smiles like a kid as she repeats it. I feel like wanting to relax but, I don`t really have time now...

"See you then..." I turn around and immediately head to the door. And as I was about to open it the wooden sliding door...

"Tomoya-kun." She suddenly calls me. I`ve never heard her sound so serious up until now.

"What... is it?" I turn around and look at her. She doesn`t reply. She slowly turn to face me. And arranges her slender feet. She stands in front and gazes at me as if she`s in doubt. And then she says it.

"Day before yesterday I saw a rabbit. And yesterday a deer, and today, you."

".... huh?" I really don`t understand what she is talking about. Is it some line from some drama? It`s something I`ve never heard before. 

"What`s that?"

"Well... It`s nothing..." She gave me a smile. It was somewhat awkward though. It felt like she was a magician who had failed at her specialty.

"See you tomorrow." And in the end, she gave her usual farewell.

"Yeah..." I wave at her lightly and then closed the library door. Without delay, I started running. In this empty hallway, the only thing that echoes are the sound my footsteps. The afternoon light coming from the windows is completely illuminating the place like the bottom of the sea. As I notice it, I stopped. 

"Kotomi...chan." I muttered that to myself. It`s drawing something to me. A feeling of guilt that will never go away .Even though I feel comfortable there, I want to stay away from that place for some reason. Even on our first meeting, I also felt the same...

"...?" Realizing that there seems to be a question mark appearing over my head, I suddenly spring forward. I shouldn`t be spacing out in this sort of place. I began to run faster.