Chapter Eighteen: Hurry out the back

Home sweet home. Or should we say home away from home? He dumped himself into the couch as he let out a loud sigh. All day he had been held captive by the feeling. The feeling comprised of remorse, regret, repentance, and above all, love. He missed his wife. He had been as terrible to her as ceaseless rain in the place of warm sun. In order to find one's way out of a stupor, the first step is to admit one has a problem. Admission had him firmly clutched in its embrace. He longed for her soft touch and sweet assuring voice telling him everything would be alright, and they could and would work through and beyond any and every obstacle that hindered their journey. He longed to make amends and start the healing process, but he didn't know how to. He summoned his mobile device from his pocket, went to contacts, but gravity failed to pull his finger down and execute the much needed action. The finger just hovered over Elizabeth's number. Timidity was king. Not too far below was Hazel's number. He dialed and raised the phone up to his ear.

"You're lucky I was in town" Hazel said as she sipped from the coffee mug. "Now tell me foolish and cowardly brother of mine, what is it you have done?" she went on. "I messed up sis. It's just been really hard for me since Leila died. I've tried to get a grip on myself but it's just been hard. And for the past few months…" he paused as shame came and sat on his face, "…I have neglected her. Distanced myself when I should have come closer to comfort her. Sad thing is I pulled away when she was trying to be there for me." She gave him the 'Oh no!' look which made him sullen. "Please don't make me feel worse about myself than I already do" he said. "I am here to help you with your problem with Elizabeth, yes. But I am also here to help fix you up. When in time of grief, you never leave your partner. Ever!" Hazel admonished. Jake sunk further into the back of the chair. "Now it feels like we are in a military movie with the captain trying to give a motivational speech blah blah. Quit all of it. I know I messed up, I just need your help fixing it. I miss Elizabeth so much". Hazel looked straight into his eyes. There was genuine sympathy and she felt for him. "What do you need bro" she asked.

Nothing like a good night's sleep to cure a conflicted mind. His mind was as clear as crystal now and he knew what he had to do. He had to be a man. He got out of the car, took a moment to take in the early morning breeze with all its promise and potential. Now his eyes had to be focused, he had to be focused. He looked at the house and in his mind mental recollections of his time with Leila began to play making his step unsure. But he had nowhere else to go but forward. He took a deep breath and headed towards the front door pulling his keys out.

"Good morning sunshine" Lenny said as he saw Elizabeth's eyes start to open. What had happened last night? The question probably ought to be 'What didn't happen last night'. She awoke to a realization of grand proportion. She had just spend the night with a man who wasn't her husband. To make it even worse. It was her husband's friend. His best friend. "What did we do?" she said as she slowly rose to sit upright. Her hand went up to her head as if she had a migraine. Wide-eyed, looking all around the room where clothes were scattered everywhere, victims of the passion of their lovemaking, she couldn't locate the guts to keep her tears locked inside. Then she started punching Lenny in his chest and shoulder area from the side of her fists. "How could you let me do this?" Lenny just took the punishment. A part of him felt guilty because of what they had done, while another wanted to go again. He took her hands, held them firmly as she tried to wriggle free, and then eventually pulled her into an embrace. She sniffled and sobbed while in the arms of a man she, at that present moment, detested quite vehemently. But she needed comfort from how she was feeling towards herself. Their short moment was interrupted when they heard activity in the house.

Jake raised his hand to knock, then dropped it to his side. A part of him suggested that he had to act a servant, while another reminded him he was still a king. Even after making a mistake, a king still remains a king. He chose the latter. He would be a dignified royal on a quest to regain his kingdom, and his queen. He thrust his key into the keyhole and with a fresh burst of confidence opened the door and stepped in. He restrained himself from a 'Honey I'm home' but deliberately made an audible noise so she could hear him and come to where he was. He moved in the living room, then dining room, en route to the kitchen. The large parts of his mind were devoted to the task at hand, renaissance. But a small portion couldn't help but notice information which contradicted the mission. The dining table and the kitchen sink suggested there had been more than one person from the night before. Gladys, the cleaning lady hadn't yet arrived and the dishes from last night were still dirty. He still had not seen Elizabeth. He ventured to the bedroom area.

Elizabeth, upon hearing the noise, rushed to the window and saw Jake's car in the driveway. He must have arrived when they were still knocked out from last night's festivities. "It's Jake" she panicked. You have to go, now." Lenny was dumbstruck for a moment and a light slap from Elizabeth brought him back to the land of the living. She hurriedly collected his clothes and handed them to him, his underwear first which he had to put on while on the move. "Rush to the back door and get out as quietly as you can. Go now before he gets here" she instructed. All he could do right now was listen and obey.

Jake checked the main bedroom, there was no one in there and the state of the bed was pristine. Where was his wife? The wife he missed? He started checking every room, eventually finding her asleep in the room she had spent the night with Lenny in. "Hey, you're home" she said trying to be surprised. "Hey…been looking everywhere for you. Why weren't you in the bedroom" he asked. "I haven't been sleeping there for a while now. It feels wrong without you" she replied. Let the lying begin! Somewhat guilty from her remark, he moved towards her and sat bedside.

"I am sorry I have been away and for what I have not been to you lately. A husband. I am so sorry for everything Liz" he said as he dropped a couple of tears to the ground. "I never should have shut you out, and I never should have left our home." She turned emotional as he poured his heart out to her. She thought this was the moment to also come clean but her better judgement impressed upon her that her truth was a marriage breaking truth. His heart was still brittle and would break again, perchance never to mend again. She pulled him into an embrace so he would not discern the guilt that was constantly growing on her face. "I'm sorry too baby. I know you were going through a lot and I should have found a better way to reach you. But you are home now. I am too, because you are my home" she replied. They uttered several 'I love yous' and all was right with the world again. Or so she thought.