Life

"If it's life you seek, child, you will drink," Death instructed me, finality in his tone. 

I felt like I was a broken, dying mess as I lay there, mulling it over. Life was promised in the contents of that bowl. 

Ascelin was gone now, it seemed; a great whooshing air leaving the chamber, and me. The lanterns began to dull, their light slowly dying in the absence of Ascelin.

Not much time given, I heeded his command. He wasn't here to force my body against me. No, this choice was mine to make. 

My senses had been robbed with the lantern's death, but still I crawled across the stone floor, forearms dragging me forward. My child's life was in that bowl, given by Death. 

The bowl nearly tipped and spilled with my eagerness, finding it in the darkness. It scraped against the ground as I held it between both hands, bringing it to my chest as I sat up. 

It was cool to the touch as I placed it against my lips, shaking as I tilted my head back to drink. The liquid was slow to enter, thick and clotted with age. 

It took forceful swallows to get it down my throat, burning as it did, yet it left a frozen-like aftertaste in my mouth. 

More, a voice that wasn't mine urged within my thoughts.

I wasn't sure how much more I could handle drinking; I already felt the urge to gag. I managed to swallow several more gulps, regretting it each time. More it urged again. 

I was already pulling the bowl away from my lips before it was firmly pressed back to my mouth by an invisible force. My head was leaning back now, bowl following my movement and tilting as well. 

It collected in my throat before I was able to gulp it down. Nearly choking on the last mouthful of it, I pushed the bowl away once more and wasn't met with resistance this time. 

It hit me as soon as the last of it had been consumed. A tidal wave of pure pain crashed over me. It felt as though I was burning from the inside out. 

I feared to open my mouth and scream from the agony, afraid that fire would come from my lips. 

I heard the bowl clatter, rolling on the floor. The sound hurt my ears, echoing and monstrous. Boiling hot blood pumped furiously in my ears, spreading through me like flame would. 

I'd been lied to, of course. 

Why would Death give me anything besides. . . death?

I'd been a fool to think I could still argue for my child's life. Their life was as much forfeit as mine, since the moment I climbed out of my window. 

The pain heightened until I wasn't able to think anymore. My torment grew, consuming me wholly. 

I thought nothing, felt nothing, heard nothing other than my own anguish. 

My torture came to its peak, my muscles spasming against my own accord. My body wasn't my own as it thrashed around on the stone, sending bits of bone flying, only to pierce my ears like knives when they landed. 

I couldn't resist anymore; I opened my mouth to cry my pleas and beg for Ascelin to reconsider, but my voice never came. In its place was a raw feeling in my throat, as if I'd already screamed my voice away. Had I been screaming? 

To my surprise, everything began to lessen. The pain, still unbearable, ebbed away enough for me to understand what it meant. My end was here, and it wasn't a comforting, lulling death as one could hope for. 

My death came for me like a reprieve, a shortcut to end the pain. And I took it gratefully, holding tightly onto the knowledge that this would be over. Finally.

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I wasn't sure how long I'd been dead, but I knew I had passed. Somehow, I was still present to comprehend that. 

But things felt different. I wasn't in pain anymore; a heavy burden lifted from my soul. 

Time had no meaning to me as I laid there, motionless. Was this death? An eternal void of nothingness? The other possibility was that it was Ascelin's punishment. 

He may have poisoned me with whatever that substance was. But life was promised in that bowl. 

I needed to feel the agony again, only to know that I existed. I wanted to endure the pain, something, anything to tell me I was alive. But there was nothing for me to hold onto anymore. 

White light. It enveloped my consciousness, vacant of any other color. 

This wasn't life; I didn't have a body, no breath to be drawn into living lungs. 

But then. . . I did. 

As I thought of it, I could feel the cold air being sucked in, my notion making it so. I could breathe. 

My eyes shot open, lids going wide. I wasn't where I'd died, that was for sure. Light pierced through dull clouds, blindingly bright, and actually hurting my eyes. 

I squinted on instinct, flinching away from the sunlight. How had I gotten outside? Someone must've moved me, but it still begged the question of why.

Life had been in that bowl, after all. 

I was cold, now that my mind could process it. Chill settled against me like morning dew on grass, yet it didn't actually seep within me. 

The cold lurked, as if prevented by a barrier. My skin, I realized, looking at myself now. 

I was completely naked. 

My muscles moved faster than I wanted them to. One moment I was lying there, the next I was sitting upright, mind wheeling from the movement. 

The embarrassment came a minute later, after urging it into existence. I'd been abandoned, naked, still in Ascelin's forest. 

Something far away cracked, its sound echoing and bouncing from trees. My head snapped to its direction, searching. 

I'd never noticed how vibrant the woods were. It was overwhelming, taking it all in. 

My leg. 

Suddenly remembering, and forgetting about the noise, I looked down to my injured leg. It was completely unharmed, not even a scar to remember what had happened. 

Birds panicked above, distressed by something. Wings fluttered before taking flight, others following shortly after. 

Had any of it happened?

A surreal, unnerving feeling nestled within me. None of this felt right. I didn't feel right. 

It was effortless; getting back on my feet. I wobbled for a second, still stunned by how fast I moved. My brain hadn't fully caught up to what happened, but my body was ready to go. 

I wasn't completely under the belief that this was real. Was I conjuring this, still dead? 

Dead leaves rustled, and I knew it wasn't from the wind. 

The noise took me out of my trance, eyes focusing once more to my surroundings. A quick glance behind me told me that I absolutely did not know where I was, only that I was in Ascelin's forest. 

Nothing could mistake it. 

It wasn't visually that I knew this was Ascelin's forest. No, I knew by the feeling alone. 

I was being watched, surely. I'd been spat back out from Ascelin's cave- a thin-blood at that. I wondered then if Reddon knew of my fate. 

I surprised myself with my agility, moving just as silently as Fiona had. The thought of her jerked me. Don't think about her. 

Tucking myself in line with an ancient pine, I listened. No further noise came, not even the wind whistled. Ascelin's forest had grown quiet, in time with my awakening. 

I didn't know why I hid, but an instinct urged me to do so. I was vulnerable, naked and weaponless. It was a miracle I was able to stand, but then again, it was a miracle I opened my eyes. 

When nothing came for me, I relaxed, sagging against the bark. 

I was being paranoid once more, it seemed. Braving a few steps away from the tree, I stood within sight of whatever was out there, and waited. 

Still, nothing came for me. Odd. 

I thought of breathing, and once more it happened, as if it hadn't been this whole time. It didn't sting my nose like it used to, and the air I did draw in felt stale, useless. 

"Claudia," a man's voice said, distant, but it wasn't aggressive. 

For reasons unknown to me, it was uncomfortable to hear my name. It brought a sense of dread, as if my instincts knew I didn't want what came for me. 

"Claudia," that man's voice came again, nearer than before. No, my soul responded. 

I didn't have to think about it before I was off, my feet barely feeling the rocks and twigs as I sped away. I wasn't being caught again- I was going to escape this time.

Unsure of which way to go, I took multiple directions, heading deeper into the wild, where the trees grew like walls. I couldn't feel the wind as it whipped past me, but it took hold of my hair, sending it flying back over my shoulders in dark streams. 

I knew the wild watched me, and I knew I must be a sight to them. A wild woman, one arm clutched to her chest, running for her life. 

Darkness chased me, inaudible in their pursuit. I hadn't a clue where they were, but I was certain they followed me. 

My other arm pumped in the air freely, hand bunched into a fist as I raced through the trees. Ascelin, I thought. Don't give me life only to take it away instantly. 

I could hear something new, far off and barely heard. It sounded like laughter, sweet and familiar. 

The sound made me come to an abrupt stop, my attention fully caught. The woman laughed again, snagging my curiosity. 

It was more than curiosity, I realized. I was being drawn in by an urge I didn't recognize. Hunger, almost. 

The oddity of it was provoking, urging me to discover what it meant. 

Without thought, I was already moving closer to the noise. The danger hunting me was a distant memory now, replaced by the allure of this feeling. 

This felt right, somehow. I wasn't sure what, exactly, this was, but I suddenly felt alive again. 

It was as if everything in me suddenly focused, honing in on that sound. A woman laughing, a voice I knew but couldn't name. 

A rush went through me, nerves sparking to life. 

I could see her now- glimpses between trees. She wore white, common for where I came from. Black hair fell just past her shoulders, unbound and lifting with a breeze. 

It dawned on me now that I'd run opposite of where I needed to. I'd gone straight back to Reddon, empty farm lands waiting beyond the treeline. 

My vision tunneled on her, drinking in any details I could. She wasn't alone, a man's voice joined hers. Faint thumps filled my ears. A heartbeat, outside of my chest. 

Her skin was fair, reflecting the sunlight that escaped the clouds. Neither of them noticed they weren't alone now, despite how I stood in plain sight, only dozens of feet away. 

"Don't," a man's voice whispered, hidden in the brush. "You don't want this to be your first." 

I knew his voice too, but still, no names came to me. Something in me needed to be satisfied, something beyond my comprehension. 

"Claudia," his voice hissed, before a gloved hand reached for me, gripping my bicep. "Listen to me." 

I couldn't stop looking at her. She almost looked like me, and that seemed to make the connection for me. Lucille. 

Before I could take another step forward, I was being yanked back. I was hidden once more within the trees, but Lucille's voice still taunted me. 

"Don't touch me." The words came from my lips, but it didn't sound like me. 

It was Galan, I knew now. He didn't let go of me, though. Instead, I heard a brief mutter before he pulled me farther away from Lucille. 

"Fledglings." Galan was saying under his breath, a string of curses I couldn't put together besides the one word. I was too focused on Lucille and the man I was certain I knew. 

He finally released me, quick to pull his hand far away from me. A moment later, the man was shuffling, tugging off the sinister cloak. Seeing beneath that hood was enough to make me look away from Lucille. 

Galan didn't meet my eyes, his head turning instantly. He looked like a man underneath the striking black garb I knew him for. 

Half of his face was hidden with yet another layer of black, a simple garter covering his mouth, draping down to his chest. Dark, wavy hair pooled over his forehead, an impression left from the heavy cloak he now handed to me. 

I eyed his outstretched hand warily, lost in a tidepool of emotions. What was this? Why was Galan here, once more? 

"Take the damn cloak before you attract something else out here." Galan's arm waved up and down, as if saying here, grab it. 

The fabric felt thick in my hands, like animal hide, yet abundantly thicker. Galan faced his back to me, providing a mockery of privacy. He'd already seen, and I wasn't exactly ashamed. 

The hood fell loosely, heavy against my back. It was the type of hood meant to constantly be in use, the fabric stiff where it now folded over itself. 

It was more than ample in covering my body, fully enclosing my front and back, reaching down to my knees. "Why are you here?" I asked him plainly after situating myself. 

"I was ordered to be." 

"What's happened to me?" I knew something wasn't right with me.

Galan actually turned to look at me now, dark eyes piercing through mine. "I don't know what happened in there, but you weren't supposed to come out. I've been ordered to strictly keep you from Reddon." 

An urge to laugh came over me, but what spilled out was a guffaw. Brows narrowed on me, deadly serious. Was I truly a threat, to the good people of Reddon? 

Hardly. 

I'd been the first to be spat back out from his cave alive, the first who didn't deserve to be, at least. Vivianne Sinclair, my husband's mother, had done the same on her own accord, yet she paid a heavy price for her petition to the God. 

But what had I done to be heard? 

I ran. 

Do not lie to your God, Ascelin had said, using the body of my husband. I still didn't understand what that meant. I'd pleaded for my child's life, and he believed it a lie? 

I'd been lost in thought, but it seemed that no time had actually passed. Galan still glared, motionless, shoulders bunched as if he were prepared to take something down. Me? 

"You're hungry," Galan murmured, his voice soft as the wind, but I heard him clearly. "I understand that," he coaxed. "But not here. I will take you somewhere much better." 

He had my full attention. Galan had distracted me long enough for Lucille to slip out of reasonable distance. Disappointment gnawed at me, but the tantalizing promise of a better place kept it at bay. 

"Where?" My voice felt scratchy, raw against the inside of my throat. 

"Silbath." He'd said it so easily, rolling from his tongue like a practiced word. Galan watched me, waiting to see if I recognized the name. He seemed satisfied when I didn't. 

I wasn't certain if I should trust him. I'd been lured before, promised a better land. Fiona had turned against me, and Galan had carried me to certain death after hunting me down. 

It wasn't him who'd shot me, but he had dropped me off at Ascelin's front door. 

"No." I said the word as I took a step away from him. I wasn't going to be tricked again, certainly not so obviously. "I'll stay away from Reddon gladly, but I'm not going anywhere with you." 

"I have nothing to gain from harming you." Galan nearly rolled his eyes at me. "I gave you my cloak." 

"And?" I ventured. "I think that's a fair trade for delivering me to Death." 

Galan was silent for a moment, deep in his own thoughts. Had my words struck something in him? Then, he said, "Expect nothing else from a servant of Death, than to do his bidding." 

"The message was already clear, Galan. You're an obedient dog." He seemed stunned that I'd remember his name, or that I had even caught it at all. "It's not you I question."

"As you say," he replied coldly. "Either way, I'm taking you to Silbath." 

"Why?" I asked him, taking another step away. "Where is Silbath?" 

"You're being set free. Or should I take you back to the cave?" His patience was wearing thin with me, but I no longer felt myself feeling afraid. 

I'd been changed in that cave. To what was still unclear to me, but Galan knew.

"You don't even know your way out of this forest from what I've seen," he continued. 

"All I need is to find the road." I gave him another glance over, checking to see if he had anything I needed or wanted. Besides the clothes he wore, he carried nothing of value or importance. 

"The road doesn't lead anywhere you want to go," came his voice, just as I'd given him my back, already midstep. 

"I'd rather discover that myself." I didn't linger any longer, confident in my stride away from him. 

"They will kill you. And I mean a death you cannot come back from, Claudia." 

"Obviously, I didn't die in that cave. I was poisoned by whatever was in that bowl." I waved a hand over my shoulder, uncaring. Soft footsteps told me Galan followed a short distance behind. It was odd that I could hear him now, when I hadn't before. 

"Ascelin's bowl? You drank from his bowl?" His pace quickened, attempting to fall into line with me. I glared at him from the corner of my eye, lingering just within sight. 

Why did he care about the damn bowl? 

"What of it? Is that not what he does for others, to grant them such long lives?" Maybe I was jumping to conclusions, but it was all I could manage to piece together in the time since I'd woken up. 

Galan's silence was answer enough. It was not what the favored received. What was the difference? 

The favored lived, just as I, despite their age and despite the deadly wound I'd suffered. The only fact that mattered was that I lived and moved, when I shouldn't. 

But Galan's interest then sudden silence spiked my curiosity. "What of it, Galan? If you're going to stalk me, you should answer."

"You don't know anything, do you?" He asked, eerily repeating some of Fiona's final words. 

"Enlighten me, servant." I had no other words to name him with, for I truly did not know anything, it seemed. 

Galan fell into a quiet once more, brooding. He kept stride with me, content to follow as long as I was going in the right direction. There was no way to really tell; each tree appeared the same, a forest void of life to make paths on the forest floor. 

As if I could feel his emotions, Galan felt somber, thoughtful. He was searching for words to tell me, I hoped. Words to finally explain what had happened to me. 

"It's not your child's life you bargained for, Claudia."