What Are You Thinking!? Control Your Hormones!

What are you thinking?!? Control your Hormones!!

"My lips only touched hers yet I am having these effects. What would happen if I made love to her….."

"What are you thinking!! Control your hormones!!"

Felix took deep breaths as his photogenic memory had somehow managed to create an imaginary world where he was on top of Esther, his fingers entwined with hers.

She laid below him with her hairs spread out unevenly on the pillow. She was gasping and withering while he was trying to lessen down her pain.

"Sh*t! I need a cold shower now. Hope it's enough for now." He doubted when he noticed himself down below.

He wanted to bang his head against the wall, "Ugh! Why did it have to react this exceedingly…. And the culprit for my pain….is busy in sleeping." He chided at himself.

"I need to inform her friends about her but how could I, in this situation?"

He released a frustrated groan then he remembered that his other two missing friends were giving company to Esther's two girlfriends. While his eyes solely concentrated on Esther he abandoned his friends. It's not like they would want his company over the girls. They always argued with him for being distant and cold to his only friends also.

"I better stop thinking about them. It would increase my trouble ten times more." He massaged his aching forehead. He felt a severe headache attacking him.

He had not taken a wink of sleep since last week and all the stress compiled up together took a toll on him as he fainted inside the interconnected room of Esther.

_________________

The next day, early morning.

Esther woke up with a splitting headache. She groaned in pain. She had difficulty in opening her eyes as she felt zero body stamina.

"Ugh…"

With great efforts and after a few failed attempts, she managed to unfold her eyes. She saw a black ceiling hovering overhead.

In the beginning, she couldn't decipher her surroundings yet with some patience and time, she could see the ceiling as earlier what greeted her was a blurry black image.

"Where am I at?" Esther strived to find any clue regarding her situation and the place.

She leaned against the headrest and took another overall glance at the room. She faced trouble with adjusting her eyesight immediately after waking up from a deep slumber.

"I slept throughout the whole night…..without any bad dreams or nightmares…", she could not digest this fact since it had been as long as ages that she had dozed off peacefully.

She strived to remember the previous night's remnants.

She held her tilted forehead tightly in her grasp. She believed as if someone hammered her head. "I can't stay here for long. I need to take my meds before I pass out."

She looked at her right hand which endowed a diamond-studded glass watch. The watch had been equipped with the latest and updated technology. Apart from this, it acted as a movable personal doctor for her.

Her friend gifted her this watch last year during her birthday celebrations. Her two most close friends couldn't forget the unbelievable look on their ice-cold friend. Esther's gaping mouth and her widened eyes was a sight to behold and her friends didn't miss the chance to take a picture of her to always keep that memory alive.

Esther clicked on the black button in the centre of the watch glass. The watch yielded a clicking sound before the glass lifted and slowly rotated. The repeating rotations ended when a small circular box appeared. The minute box had another push-up button on it. Esther pressed it and the box opened up to the right. It formed a semi-circle. Inside the box, two tiny round white medicines were stacked up.

Using her shaking and trembling hands, Esther took one out of those two and swallowed it with the water. She gulped down the entire water from the glass. She placed it back on the nightstand. She pushed the blanket off her body. And made an effort to stand up; however, she felt no response from her legs. Her legs had turned numbed due to a side effect of the medicine which she had taken a few seconds ago.

She counted till seven inwardly and again tried to use her legs and this time she succeeded. She padded over to the inbuilt bathroom. She had to take the support from the walls to reach there. Even though her legs could help her to walk yet with no energy inside her body, fatigue and weakness took over it.

Esther gritted her teeth, "I need to go to the bathroom." She utilized every bit of the willpower left in her and arrived at her destination. She twisted the doorknob and unlocked the door.

A beautiful and aesthetic looking bathroom welcomed her nonetheless Esther wasn't obliged to waste her time in gawking and appreciating it when she had other things to focus on like; clutching her mouth so that the compounds which rushed to come out from her mouth would do so before she threw up on the floor instead of the toilet. She walked over to the toilet with practised steps. She bent down on her knees and puked out.

Her hair behaved as another barrier for her although Esther endured it since she used one hand to hold her hair together in a firm grip.

"Gaa...Gaaa...Bwaa…."

Esther vomited out all the food that she had once eaten with delight. When she didn't feel the need to vomit. She gurgled her mouth. She got disgusted and distressed when the taste of vomited lasted on her taste buds.

Esther brushed up her teeth. She walked into the bathing area of the bathroom. She noticed the jumbo size jacuzzi bathing tub yet she chose the showerheads.

She turned on the shower and then the water surging from the tiny holes of the showerhead drenched Esther, from up to down.

She let the water ride on her. The water seeped into her hair scalp, it passed by it and entered her fully clothed body.

Esther's dress soaked. She kept her hands resting on the black marble wall. The rushing water helped to blow away the fogs clouding her brain. She closed her eyes and memories of the last night ambushed her. Certainly, she couldn't acknowledge herself from last night's activities. She clenched her hands into a fist and punched at the wall. The anger and resentment she felt for her stupid alcoholic self couldn't be explained by words. She radiated a deadly monster like an aura. One could see the steam vapours spread over the large glass wall enclosing the showerhead. The steam cooled down and water droplets got visible on it.

Esther had an unusually chilly body for which she had to use piping hot water to bathe for summers also. Therefore when her brain displayed her memories of yesterday night's memories, the steam vapours condensed and formed water droplets.

"F**k! I broke my promise. The vow I took is now broken because of my absurdity. How will I face myself in the mirror ever again? I did what I hated."

Esther let the tears roll below her cheeks and drained with the water.

"I am ashamed of myself. How could I let my desiring emotions rule me? Didn't I go from the training to control it? Yet I failed for the first time after those three years."

She punched the wall again and again until her hands bled, "I did the forbidden." Her hands swell but she didn't glance at it.

She kept punching and cursing herself. Later she fell on her knees. She cried and wailed in despair. The exhaustion made her stop.

"How can I look into my eyes after what happened?" She questioned herself.

The water mixed with her encircled Esther. Esther sobbed and whimpered. The ice-cold CEO feared by others wailed out like a newborn. Her cries portrayed her pain and hardships.

"I made an unforgivable mistake."

She stared at her bleeding hand with dull eyes. They also swell from excessive crying. Esther's voice broke because of her wailing.

Esther kept staring at the blood flowing out from her hand. She appeared to be in deep thoughts. She wanted to end her grief and be at peace forever. In the past, whenever she aspired to kill herself and commit suicide. She got saved each time and then one day her grandma took a vow from Esther. She made her granddaughter promise to never think of suicide again.

"I broke your promise too."

She apologised to her grandma. Esther knew she can't murder herself. She had to stay here for her family and her friends but how could she look into her eyes and ignore everything as if nothing happened.

She pondered over this thought.

"Should I act and behave like everything is fine…"

Currently, Esther was fighting with herself. The part of her which had been damaged and scarred, the one which is afraid to rebel.

She gave her thought more time and decided instead of regretting what had happened already, she can try to move on and continue with her life as she had done for the past three years.

"If I could survive through that incident then this one is nothing against it." Her transparent black eyes glimmered like stars shining brightly in the night sky.

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A small note from your author 😇

I know these chaps are not that exciting but you can already foresee that the upcoming would be full of laughter and adventure. I m also aware that many might dun like the story. It's ohkiee for me since I can't make everyone happy. On another note, this book is based on an ice-cold fl and there are always reasons for someone being called like that. Don't expect her to be jolly and warm-hearted. She is hard on herself too but she cares for her people

That's all I wanted Io to say.