Chapter One: Mals Childhood
Mals POV:
From the time I was a pup I have lived within these walls. The beige plain walls of the mansion to which I reside. I know I should feel lucky, even blessed that the moon goddess gave me such a sweet upbringing with power and money. I could have anyone bowing on their knees for me doing as I wished.
Yet, such a sight wasn't something I craved nor did I need that for my happiness. Instead what I wanted no needed was to be free and by free I mean free from these plain walls free from the peering eyes ensuring I was always proper and perfect. If I was hurt I wasn't allowed to cry, if I was angry I wasn't allowed to even let a snarl leave my lips. All I was able to do was smile and nod, dress in true royalty "fashion" if that's what you wanted to call it and of course I always had to watch my mouth from translating my mind into words.
Straight from my mothers womb I was taken and shown how to be a lady how to preserve the family image and how to address my fellow pack members. I had to study everything from multiple languages, to exotic dances, world history and pack history. There was never time to be a kid! I never got to enjoy the fields or even to ever so slightly be coddled by my parents that gave me undying love. No instead I was prepped to be sent off once I found my "mate" which even I knew meant whatever poor bastard my parents saw fit. They only cared about themselves and the pack, I for some reason was nothing more then a bargaining tool. It was obvious since they had no intentions of allowing me to have my goddess chosen mate which was something that would wound my heart for the rest of my life.
The thought shatters my heart if my fated mate wasn't one they approved of then I would have to reject them and mate instead with whatever alpha they chose to keep our family line strong. As much as the feeling was wrong inside me.... I always wished they had more pups not just me. It's not that I wished these fears on others but maybe if I wasn't so alone in this it wouldn't tear at my heart strings like so. I really only wished they would leave me from the equation and allow me to roll in the mud or let my red hair lay free against my back; instead of in a hairdo required such suffocating restraints to ensure perfection.
Thinking back now, I can only remember one time I had slipped past the maids and the guards and ran outback in my silly pink frilly dress. I slipped off my tiny white shoes to ensure I could feel the ground between my toes. Then I ran wild just as the rain had started to fall gently beading against my 10 year old skin causing welcomed goosebumps due to the cold. I played in the puddles made at my feet from the building wate and made sure to ruin the dress to ensure they all knew how I wanted more than this fancy lifestyle. Seeing everyone's faces when they found me a mess like so made my heart smile and my mouth audibly giggle. I could only imagine what I must have looked like, muddied clothes, my hair fallen in a wet tangled mess,and no shoes.I wasn't ready for the moment to end I wanted everyday to be like so. But the moment only had a few minutes to it then I was yanked inside by Mildred.
Mildred was normally nice she acted more like a mother to me then my own with her dark brown hair and somewhat hazel eyes. Yet today and especially after my little show when i looked at her I could both smell fear and sadness in her eyes. Almost like she knew i longed for the outdoors and reckless behavior but knew if i did so she would receive my fathers punishments that would have to be passed down to me. Once inside she pulled me still by my upper arm and up the stairs quickly to my room. "Miss Mildred I- I just wanted to play." I squeaked out in a mouse voice. I was sad to have made her feel they way she was although until now I didn't understand why fear and saddens leach from her pores. Before I could explain more or even beg she popped my bottom as a reprimand and pointed a finger at my like a scolded hound. "Young miss you know such atrocities are not allowed! What if i had been you father and not I who caught you?" I whimpered to the feeling of pain against my rump.
When she had stopped my eyes pricked with the taunting feeling of tears forcing their way out. I stifled them back and looked up with pain stricken eyes not from the whooping she was rather gentle when punishing me but more for the pain of being scolded by someone who also holds me when I have nightmares. Someone who felt more like family then my own parents did. "I'm sorry sorry miss Mildred, I wasnt thinking like a lady." Before i could finish my full apology she grabbed me in her arm and gave me a hug not minding my dirty clothes. "Not to worry child I wont report this to your parents but you must be carful if another says something I have no control. I hugged her back and nodded before she pulled away and looked to my clothes."Now young miss discard those clothes and shower immediately, speak nothing of this to your parents who will be arriving soon.Remember what is asked of you always be a lady." A quick Nod and a turn to go to the bathroom told her all she needed to hear. I did what was asked, but when i returned she was no where to be found. I never saw miss Mildred again the one person who showed me love and compassion gone. I never understood the reasoning behind keeping a pup so locked up, or why miss Mildred was gone . I was a wolf for goddess sake I should receive the love of my pack and be able to run free.
"Young miss your dress." I turned shaking myself from the memory and my current caretaker was helping me get ready for my 18th birthday ceremony her name was miss Jill not as friendly but not terribly mean. Besides It was the day I shall get my wolf and the day a mate bond can be made. "Bring it here ill put it on then" I said with a soft gentle tone. Most wolfs had an 18th birthday banquet to celebrate their wolf form and the possibility of a mate. I on the other hand didn't want it. Not because I didn't want a mate or my wolf but I knew this night wasn't about me. It was never about me, tonight I would be on display for all alphas around my parents hoping one is my mate me hoping it's a butler instead. I slipped on the Silk green dress and ran my hands over my curves to smooth any bunches that might be formed. I adjusted the small spaghetti straps and aligned the slit that came to my mid thigh ~perfection always perfection~ I told to myself as I bent over and slipped into the shinny gold heels that made me look taller now more like 5'6" rather then my normal 5'4" height. As I stood to look into the make up mirror to apply my last till bit of makeup I almost felt confused by the women looking back at me. I applied my dark crimson red matte lipstick and fixed my mascara. I liked to stay minimal with my makeup especially around the eyes less meant my bright green eyes could shine further. Once done I then messed with my hair enjoying the freedom to leave it down in perfect cascading curls my French tip nails barely stood out compared to my bright red hair. I then clipped on my earrings and a quick release necklace knowing that tonight I needed less things on me that might complicate my transition.
Once i wan completely dolled up I strutted to the full length mirror that was laid against my white wall in my room. As gorgeous as the women was staring back at me it almost felt foreign and I wished it wasn't me. I wanted to run and break free from these elegant chains instead I forced a smile as miss Jill called for my attention. "Young miss its time for you to show face." She said so matter of factly I simply nodded and turned on my heels walking out of my room and to the banquet hall. I know the dress was made to help with an easy transition from human to my wolf and instead I wanted it to be torn off while I fled such a life a life that could not truly be meant for a creature such as myself.