Chapter 4: Becoming the Demon Within

{Julien}

There's a high pitched moan as the headboard of the bed hits the wall. My body stiffens and the girl in my arms goes limp. As she relaxes and we both regain our breath, I remove myself from her and fall back on bed.

"Julien what on earth--?" The unlocked door of my room opens. "Julien Edward Gray, what the hell are you doing?" I grunt, letting my eyes flutter close. "Julien, have some decency, please. And with the maid? Again?"

"Get out," I say to the girl. She's my other personal maid, Hollis, who is much younger than Kali.

"Yes, sir."

"What do you want, Clara?"

My sister walks over to help Hollis get her clothes together. "I want you to leave the maids alone." She places a hand on Hollis' shoulder. "I'm truly sorry, dear. If he ever tries to do something against your will, scream. I'll come running."

Hollis only nods as she pulls her dress on quickly before hurrying out the door, her cheeks red.

Clara sighs, obviously disappointed. "You are to be married in under a month. And yet you're sleeping with your made. Seriously, Julien, what are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that with barely a month left of being single and able to do whatever I want with whoever I want, I might as well savor it and use it to my advantage."

"Good, grief. I cannot believe you're actually older than me."

I snicker under my breath. "You aren't even engaged yet."

"Father said he's waiting for the right man to come along."

This makes me snort. "I don't understand how you can call him that."

Clara sighs. "Julien, you know I like him about as much as you do--"

"Right. That's why you defend him."

"Julien! He is our dad rather whether we like it or not. And he cares about us, he does. He regrets what he did to his mother, that doesn't make it okay, but at least he's remorseful."

I sit straight up in my bed, glaring daggers at her. "If he feels so bad about what he did to her, why doesn't he change it!? If he cares about us why would he take in the first place!?"

Clara looks at me like I'm crazy. "She was sick."

"She was going to leave him. And he didn't like it. Now get out of my room."

"Julien--"

"Get out, Clara!"

She sighs and leaves, the door clicking closed behind her. I fall back on my pillows before flipping onto my stomach.

That man makes my blood boil. Oh, what I would give to kill him...

Less than a month left until I'm a married man… Isn't that a thought. Juilen Gray? Married? I can think of a few people who will find that hard to believe when they get the invitation. Everyone who knows about my relationship with my father knows that he's tried to get me engaged before and hasn't succeeded. But this time is different. And no one will know that my father has planned this.

The way this relationship looks to the public and even my friends and family is very important. I want to take what my father wants most: power. In order to do this, I need everyone to believe that Rosalina and I are in love. I need everyone to think that I'm a changed man. Getting her family to like me is the most important. I don't want anyone to suspect a thing when I take what I want. And poor, poor Rosalina… She'll be caught up in the middle of this.

I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't enjoy this.

Speaking of Rosalina, her ball is tomorrow. Her mother did kind of force me into going without even remotely asking me, typical Victoria. That's one thing I do understand about Rosalina's life. Her mother seems to control her in every way possible. Makes me wonder how Charles even handles her. Then again, he's a doormat; Victoria walks all over him.

Anyhow, I suppose that the ball will be a good time to start this charade.

"Young master? What on earth are you still doing in bed for?"

I groan loudly. "Can't a man just sleep?"

"I'm afraid not, young master. You have a meeting with Lord Howard today at noon."

"What time is it now, Kali?"

"It's about a quarter till twelve, sir."

I huff, sitting up. "Then perhaps it is time for me to get up."

Kali lets out a sound of agreement as she walks to my wardrobe to grab what I'm wearing today. I grab my underwear and dress in them before Kali returns to me.

"Will this do, young master?"

I nod as she helps me dress. I only stop her when she kneels to lace my boots. "I've got the rest, Kali."

"Of course, sir." She bows her head. "I'll get Hollis to bring you your tea shortly."

It is a bit late for morning tea, but I nod nonetheless and she leaves.

I fix the cuffs of my shirt after tying my boots. I stand as two other maids walk in and they make my bed. I walk over to a chair next to a small table that's across from my bed. I pick up the book that's laying on it and decide to read while I wait.

Hollis walks in with a trolley of tea not long after the two maids left. She keeps her head down as she walks up to me and starts to make me a cup of tea.

I close my book, watching her closely. Her expression seems calm and indifferent, but the blush rising to her cheeks betrays her.

"What do we have today?" I ask her. Her fingers suddenly tremble at the sound of my voice as she lifts the teapot and pours me a steaming pot of tea.

"O-oolong," She replies, her voice slightly unsteady. She sets the cup and saucer on the table next to me, mixing the correct amount of sugar mindlessly.

I hum in response as she leans over the teacup, making it to my liking. As she pulls the teaspoon out, I grip her wrist. She freezes and stares at my hand wrapped around her wrist. She blinks rapidly before she finally looks up at me. I cock my head to the side.

"How are you feeling?" I ask her. I don't care about how she feels, I just want her fluster her.

"I'm feeling fine, sir. How--"

I shake my head slightly. "No, that's now what I mean."

Her entire face begins to turn red. "I-I… I'm fine…" she looks down. "Thank you for asking… It was… very enjoyable."

I smirk at this. I release her wrist, standing to caress her cheek. "You seemed satisfied, if I might add."

She lets out a shaky breath, avoiding my eyes, so I grasp her chin, forcing her to do just that. "Whenever you want to, just ask. I won't deny you."

I sit back down, letting go of her. I sit down, a small mischievous smile on my face. She tried so hard to act like it didn't bother her. But she should've known I would break her. She stares at the ground, red from the neck up.

"You may leave," I tell her.

She barely bows before she's rushing out of this room for the second time this morning.

I can't help but chuckle to myself as I pick up my tea cup and raise it to my lips.

{}{}{}{}{}

"Lord Gray." A man reaches his hand out towards me.

Ignoring his hand, I say, "Lord Howard," and take a seat across from him in my study.

He sits down as well and clears his throat nervously.

"So," I state, "my father said you called."

Giovanni Howard nods. "Yes. My wife visited your betrothed a few days ago."

I stare at him, hands laced together on top of my desk. When he doesn't continue, I nod my head encouraging him to do so.

He clears his throat again. "Ah. Well, you see, Lord Gray, my wife seems to think something is wrong with the two of you. She admitted that Lady Rosalina was acting a bit strange."

I raise my eyebrow in mock. "Oh? I can't imagine why."

"All Graclynn said was that she didn't seem as excited as she expected. She babbled on about how normally she's just bursting with joy, but for some reason she didn't act as so."

My dear, Rosalina. It seems you're already failing at the one task I gave you. Truly, I had much hope for you and thought you could do better than this…

I nod. "I see. And I assume you cleared that up?"

"Of course, my lord."

I bob my head slowly, my mind wandering for a split second before I return to reality. "And as for the information I asked you far?"

"Oh, yes. Uh, it would appear that the Hastings' name is over five-hundred-trillion dollars in debt."

My eyes widen slightly. "To who and why?" Howard's eyes avert and he grows quiet. I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"It would seem to be something to do with underground business, nothing for--"

I cut him off "You fool. You figure out the debt but not to who and why?" I look up at him with distaste. "Figure out where that money has gone or your family will be the next to go bankrupt."

"Y-yes, Lord Gray."

"Now get out," I seeth.

Giovanni Howard stands and bows, taking his leave quickly.

I sigh, leaning back in my chair and spinning around lazily. Five-hundred-trillion? How does a family go that deep in the hole? If I remember correctly, this time a few months ago the Hastings' were doing just fine. What did Charles invest in that cost him this much? What is he planning?

There's a knock on my door and I turn my chair towards it as Clara pops her head in.

I roll my eyes. "What do you want now?"

She steps in, closing the door behind her. "I just wanted to apologize for earlier. I know how close you were with Mother. I know much you miss her. And I do too. I just… I'm trying to move on. I don't want it to control my life."

I snort. "Right. Because that's exactly what I'm doing."

Clara gives me a look that I remember my mother giving me when I lied and said I didn't eat the last tart. That look with pursed lips and disappointment in the eyes. The look that says, "why are you doing this?"

"Julien, that wasn't what I was saying."

"But you were thinking it," I retort. "I'm not stupid, Clara!"

She sighs exasperatedly. "You're impossible! Julien, not everyone is against you! I'm on your side, I want to help you."

I cross my arms. "Says the one who kisses up the man I despise. The man who took away our mother."

"Julien! I've moved on! Father is an awful man. I will never forgive him for what he did."

I cock an eyebrow. "It sure seems like it.

"I've moved on," she says again stiffly.

"You probably don't even care about Mom," I shrug. "You're just glad that he is paying attention to you. That he's giving you everything you ask for. You're perfectly fine with how things are. So you don't have to lie to yourself. And you sure as hell can't lie to me."

Clara stares at me, tears pooling in her eyes. "I can't believe you," she says. "How could you even say something like that to your own sister?"

I stare at her, leaning forward to rest my elbows on my desk. "Cry me a river."

Clara clenches her teeth."I feel bad for your future wife. If you continue like this, you'll be no better than Father."

I stand up, slamming my hands down on the desk. "I AM NOTHING LIKE THAT BASTARD."

Clara now trembling with tears streaming, says, "Yes. You. Are." And she turns her back on me, walking out and slamming the door behind her hard.