STAGE FIFTEEN: Regret

Two days passed since they arrived at a city in the southern parts of Shimarar. Freyja hasn't awakened since then. Like nothing happened, not a trace of white aura leaked from her body, until now. While Kirin and Alaric are having their breakfast beside Freyja's bed, something started glowing under her shirt, on the chest area. He looked under her shirt and saw a medallion which he never noticed she had. He tried pulling it out, but was burned by the scorching hot metal. It didn't seem to affect Freyja though.

The rays of light that escaped from the medallion slowly formed into Astrid's human body. He looked at the two of them, with his usual, unchanging, emotionless face. "Kirin and Alaric." He confirmed their identities.

"How is she?" Kirin asked first thing.

"Lenfiare is fine. She is just resting to recover her strength. In fact, she called me out to let you know that she's alright."

"We could use an explanation here." Kirin's eyes narrowed. "Unless of course, you do not want us to know."

"I don't want humans to know. But Lenfiare herself ordered me to explain everything to you two. Her orders are absolute."

Alaric and Kirin were all ears.

"She is the legitimate successor of Kinju Alfiore Leafen of Celestia. She Freyja Lenfiare Leafen." And with this, his long tale began.

~ o 0 o ~

Late at night, Freyja woke up. She knows that by this time, Kirin and Alaric already knows who she really is. But like her memories, Astrid's memories too, are incomplete. Apparently, his seal won't be completely lifted until she frees the other four guardians. That's the only way to get her full celestial body, and memories back. That's the only way to answer her questions.

Freyja's heart is a storm of complicated emotions. She couldn't even grieve for her father's death because her memories were sealed the moment she was reborn in a faraway world. "To forget something so important... I am the worst." Freyja couldn't even cry. It would be better if she could, but shedding tears just made her feel guiltier.

A short sword on the bedside caught her eye. It is the sword that Kirin bought her before going to mount Tristiss, so she could defend herself. She crawled out of bed, walked out of the room with the sword in her hand. As quiet as possible, Freyja went outside the inn.

Under the moonlight, in front of a big fig tree, Freyja started slashing the air. Her attacks are growing more and more passionate by the second, as if fighting an invisible enemy.

Past midnight and Kirin couldn't sleep. He's been sitting high up, on one of the tree's branches, watching the girl train her swordsmanship clumsily. Freyja kept on hitting the air, wooden poles, and concrete walls, whatever she can find.

She's like a mindless barbarian rather than a fighter, watching made Kirin cringe.

"Goddammit!" Freyja dropped the sword. Her eyes teary, but she wouldn't cry.

Why wouldn't she? Kirin was dying to know, but he couldn't bring himself to go down. He couldn't understand, he wanted to understand but he knows he can never do so. Recalling Astrid's story, she is a Celestial and a monarch too.

Freyja picked up her sword and began hitting carelessly again. Like a mindless brute. Kirin had enough. He jumped down, empty-handedly disarmed her in the blink of an eye. Freyja fell on her back, her sword now on Kirin's hand.

"You suck. If you're going to fight, don't get emotional!" Kirin scolded the wide-eyed girl. "My father said, that your emotion is your greatest weakness in battle. He's right."

Freyja looked away. But was surprised when Kirin threw the sword beside her. "He's right, but not always. It is also through your emotions, that you get stronger." Kirin summoned his aura-blade and pointed it at the girl. "Pick your sword up and fight me." All of a sudden, Kirin attacked the girl, who had no choice but grab the sword and defend herself. Kirin isn't even being serious, but she's already being pushed back.

It's impossible to keep up with his speed. In a matter of seconds, she's disarmed again. When she tried to pick her sword up, Kirin grabbed her hands. They're full of blisters and bleeding. "To win, you must know when to stop."

Kirin and Freyja sat on a boulder on the inn's yard. Freyja hasn't said a single word to him. "The stars, do they look the same in the world you came from?" Kirin asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"They look the same, but the constellations are different."

"No, I mean, in Celestia."

Freyja didn't answer.

"What kind of man was your father?" Kirin asked. "It's unfair that I told you about mine and you didn't. Kinju Alfiore Leafen, what kind of man is he?" Kirin knows his question is a bit too sensitive and doesn't expect for her to answer. Surprisingly, Freyja smiled.

"My Father... was always smiling. No matter how much of a troublemaker I was, he never scolded me. He's carefree and looks like a slacker but he's actually hardworking." She chuckled.

"What a weirdo." Kirin's comments made Freyja laugh.

"Yes he is. It could have been easier if he just disowned me. It would have been better for everyone if he didn't protect me. If only he abandoned me, then there would be no rebellion. The people wouldn't have blamed him. Celestia wouldn't have..."

"..."

Freyja started trembling. She's suppressing her tears even harder. "He was killed, they were all killed and I ran away... because I was scared." She bit her lip.

"Yes, your father is an idiot and a selfish man." Kirin bluntly stated, much to her surprise. "He chose to protect the one he loves the most. He is selfish. But what's wrong with that? We are all selfish creatures anyway. He only followed his belief, and did so knowing its consequences. Just like everyone else does."

All of a sudden, Kirin pulled Freyja into his arms, embracing her tightly, as if wanting to share her pain. "And you are just as stupid as he is. Don't get so vain and think it's all because of you because it's not." He sounded so tough and insensitive, but Freyja can feel Kirin's kindness, behind his seemingly insensitive scolding.

"I'm on your side." Kirin smiled. His emerald eyes lit by the moon.

Freyja couldn't hold her tears anymore. They gushed out of her brown eyes. She buried her face into Kirin's warm chest, crying and screaming like she did when she escaped Celestia. She tightly held onto Kirin, squeezing him with trembling hands. She cried and cried, she roared, she let all of the doubt and fear and regrets out. On that night, the little girl from a thousand years ago cried again.

Freyja fell asleep and Kirin ended up carrying her back to her room. She opened her eyes minutes after, and found the sleeping Kirin beside her, his hand tightly holding hers. She closed her eyes and went back to sleep.

~o0o~