12: Some Years Ago

Celeste's POV

I take my moms hand, squeezing it nervously. She looks down at me, gently running a hand over my cheek. "Go on Celestial, go play," she encourages, gesturing towards the other children. Mom tries hard to show me love even though she's in pain. The loss of a mate is the worst pain imaginable, or so I've been told. Many of the pack women that remain now carry a sadness on their shoulders, a burden struck down by the universe to be without their other halves. In the first two weeks, three women died from heartbreak. It was terrifying to see their lifeless bodies as we buried them deep beneath the ground. We did our best to hold a passing over ceremony, both then and after the initial attack. To give guidance to all the souls who joined the Moon Goddess from our pack-family. 

Another nudge on my shoulder encourages me to take a step forward. 

A few of the kids look at me, some offering small smiles while some kept blank faces. A lot of these kids also lost their fathers, some lost everything. I look over at the twins, Addison and Madeline, who haven't smiled or talked since the attack. They were at a friend's house the night of the attack and escaped with them. Neither of their Dads returned. I give them a small smile. They don't return it. 

"Celeste!" I breathe a sigh of relief at the voice of my savior. Christopher is a few years older than me and we grew up practically side by side. Our Dads were friends which made us friends by default. I've been grateful for his friendship over the years. "You wanna play!?" I look up at him where he's lodged himself between two fallen trees, giving him some height in his leisurely position. I nod several times in response. He hops down from his spot between the logs. "Great! We were just about to start a game of tag. Randy is it! Cause he lost last time!" Randy sticks his tongue out at Christopher who laughs. "Is everyone ready?" Several kids turn to run. "Count to ten Randy!" Randy begins counting and Christopher grabs my hand. He pulls me as fast as I can to dodge between trees, encouraging me to climb one of the sturdy branches. 

"Its tag, Christopher! Not hide and seek!" I whine, knowing my tree climbing skills aren't great. 

"Yea but it's easier if you hide first!" He gives me an encouraging push towards the tree. I grumble and take a step up, slowly but surely climbing. I can hear Randy counting '7' as Christopher comes up behind me. He motions to be quiet and settles down against the branch as the number '10' is called out before Randy breaks into a sprint. 

Christopher and I merely watch as several kids run out from behind trees not terribly far from where Randy started. Randy tags the arm of Jessica, a tall redhead who's very athletic. She was on most of our packs junior sports teams! Jessica looks around before tagging someone else. This goes on for awhile, Christopher laughing at our clever spot in the opposite direction, before Clara turns to look in our direction! Oh no! She must have heard us! Christopher notices and jumps down from the tree, Clara is only several feet away. Christopher looks up at me, "jump!" I shake my head, the view looking far too scary. He looks at Clara , back at me, and back at Clara before deciding to book it in a different direction. He laughs as he takes off, "Sorry Celeste!!" 

"Christopher!!!" I whine, "No fair!" Clara comes up to where I'm at in the tree, jumping up to tag my arm. The little push plus the bad angle I was at while looking to Christopher's retreating form leads me to fall from the tree. I left out a loud "oomf!" and my sight goes blurry. I groan, pushing myself up from the ground. I look around, blinking for clarity. Christopher is paused not twenty feet away, watching while Clara laughs at my hurt self. 

~

"Christopher!" I look around for the brooding teen. It's his turn to go scouting and mom asked me to fetch him. I've struggled to make friends over the years but Christopher is the closest friend I have. Even if we have drifted a bit these last few of years. . .

Christopher was talking to Clara, she was giggling at something he said. I'm going to have to interrupt him. . . He's not going to be happy about that. . . 

I like him but he has a temper sometimes. He gets upset with me easily but he also gets upset with others. The other kids aren't very nice to me but there's a certain amount of negativity they're allowed to send my way before he snaps at them too. 

I wait for a few minutes, leisurely walking their way. Christopher catches sight of me and smiles a little too widely. "What did I tell you about following me?" 

"Not to," I say lowly. "But I didn't follow!" I found. 

Clara snorts, "Get lost pipsqueak." I frown. The other kids often poke at my small form. I'm not much shorter than the kids my age but it's what they choose to focus on. They say I'm probably a runt. I'm hoping when I shift I'll be big and strong. Like Mom always says Dad was. 

"What do you want?" There's almost a snarl in his voice. Everyone says he's going to shift soon. 

"You're needed for scouting patrol." With that I turn around and leave. Before I can make it back to the group, my shoulder gets whacked. I groan as I fall to the side, my hand reaching out in an attempt to catch myself. This only works against me as my palm viciously hits the ground, the force of it going up to my elbow. 

"Watch where you're going, runt."

~

I gasped as I saw Christopher and his friends heading towards me. They were supposed to be gone for another hour!

I didn't shift on my birthday. Or the week after. I know my wolf is there, she said her name is Ancillary. She's kind to me. When I asked her about not shifting she told me to be patient. I didn't like that one bit. After that, Christopher and the other kids became more aggressive. Pushing me around, tripping me. 

"Damn, I was hoping she'd have run away by the time we came back," came a sharp voice. I stood from my spot, anxious to leave.

"Where do you think you're going?" I froze at his voice, chills creeping up and down my spine. I looked around, desperate for an exit but I knew if I ran, they'd chase. There was no escaping. "Answer me, Runt." He always spits the word. 

"Back to camp," I say, trying to remind them that camp is only so far away and that the others can probably, hopefully, hear us. 

"You go where we say, when we say," he insists, stepping closer to me. I look down, not having the courage to catch his eye anymore. Two rough fingers grab my chin, forcing my head upwards. His eyes stare deep into mine as I try to grasp the emotions in them. Anger? Hurt? I can't tell. My breath stalls in my throat as he squeezes, potentially leaving a bruise. "So if we tell you to get lost, then you probably shouldn't be found," he pushes me from his grasp and I stumble back before finding my footing. They had told me to get lost when they left, I didn't think they meant it literally. And if I could, I would have years ago. I can't leave Mom. . And I can't break her heart any further by telling her the truth. Besides it's not as if they ever -

Just then my head snaps to the side as a loud ringing begins to reverberate in my head. It takes a second for the pain to process, my hand raising up to my cheek as I gain sense of a metallic taste on the corner of my lips. Did he just. . 

I lose it. I charge at him, fist aiming for his nose. He quickly catches my fist and twists my arm around, bending it behind my back. "Shhh, wouldn't want the others to hear us now would we?" The other kids laugh while I desperately look towards the camp site, hoping someone will come this way. 

"Let go of me," I hiss out, trying to get out of his hold. He pushes me to the ground. More laughter echoes. I groan as I taste the dirt that gets shoved between my teeth. I push myself up, spitting out a twig. 

"Oops," he says with a look of innocence. He begins to walk past me, as do the other kids. A few of them kick more dirt at me as I nurse my aching wrist. 

-

The pond we stopped by was beautiful but I know if I follow the stream it'll lead to more or bigger fish. We were starting to run low on the luck of the ones we were catching in the pond itself. One foot followed the other on the uneven terrain, rocks digging into my feet. Over the years I'd gotten used to it, barely even blinking when I step on a sharp twig or squishy moss. 

My thoughts were proven correct as I saw the number of fish increase. Happily, I brought out the net I'd fashioned out of an old dress that no longer fit. We don't carry many clothes with us as we never know when we'll need to run. Also they're not easy to come by so freely. The outfit I'm wearing now, a pair of cargo pants and a shirt that's too big for me, came off of a clothes line at the edge of a human town. I throw the make-shift fishnet into the stream, holding it as wide as I can. Once I feel a hearty little tug, I pull it out of the water. It's a bit heavy, although I've perfected this technique over the years and have learned to let it only fill to a moderate amount that I feel comfortable carrying. 

An uncomfortable chill goes through my body as I let the net drip dry over the stream for a minute, the fishes wiggling making it a bit difficult to carry. I look around, trying to process a potential danger. I squint at the trees. Nothing. I lug the fish over my back and follow the stream back towards camp. 

I'm halfway there when I spot him. Christopher. His blond hair was getting long again although I know he'll cut it again soon back to its jagged short mop. There's nowhere for me to hide, he has a clear view of me. And his eyes narrow. I go to walk past him when he catches my arm, I wince. I wonder if I can shift and outrun him.

'Unlikely,' Ancillary chimes. 'Be smart Celeste.'

"Let me take that for you," he yanks the fish out of my hand and throws them to the ground. My eyes widen. 

"Why would you do that?" Those fish were for all of camp!" Sure there were fewer of us these days but there are still mouths to feed. My response is my back being pushed to a tree. "Ow! Christopher!" I catch his eyes and notice they're starting to go darker. No. No, no, no. If his wolf takes over then I'll never be able to run back to camp. His nose goes to my neck and he takes a deep inhale. "Christopher?" He's never done this before and it's scaring me. His nose nudges my neck, "C-Christopher, stop it."

"But you smell so good right now,"

'Ancillary,' I plead. 'What do I do?'

"You're going into heat," he nudges again. My skin heats and prickles at his breath on my neck and I try to wiggle free. His hands on my arms tighten. "Did you know that?" I shake my head, momentarily getting his head away from my skin. I try to wiggle free again. 

'You're going to have to run,' she says fast. She's as nervous as I am. 'On the count of three, I want you to kick him as hard as you can and go towards the camp and don't stop.' She's right, if I can even get closer I can yell for help. Mom will save me, I know she will. Then why does my heart clench in pain at the thought? 'One.' Christopher goes back to my neck and nips at it. A tear leaks out of my eye as I desperately try to loosen his grasp. 'Two.' My hands flail useless at my sides, unable to rise to any action. Before she can get to three, a blur of fur pushes him off of me. I take a deep inhale of air and a sob leaves my lips. I look forward, a dirty blond wolf is holding Christopher down, his eyes now entirely black. The white wolf looks at me, sea green eyes glaring harshly as if to say 'What are you doing? Get out of here!' I nod frantically, shift into my small form and take off running.

-

"I should go now," I admitted softly. Lycer nods, a small frown on his face. I try not to stay for too long, knowing Mom will worry. 

"I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" His sea green eyes shine brightly, mop of dirty blond hair dancing in front every here and there. I nod, giving him a hug.

With a wave, I turn back in the direction of camp. There is only a handful of us now, Christopher tries to take charge a lot. I guess it kind of makes sense since he was meant to be Alpha but I personally feel like the remaining pack elders could handle it better than he does. 

Ever since meeting Lycer, he's been watching out for me. Christopher rarely has a chance to hurt me. I want to introduce Lycer to the group but we're both worried about the response.

I sigh in frustration, kicking a little rock. "Where were you?" I freeze in my spot, slowly looking up to catch his cold blue eyes. 

"None of your business," I spit out. We're halfway between camp and where I've been meeting Lycer recently. A proper yell in either direction should do the trick. If there's one thing I've realized about Christopher, it's that he values his image. There was a day and age when he and the other kids picked on me but those days had come to an end when Lycer entered the picture. He'd made that clear.

"With your little boy toy? Fucking slut," he spits out.

"He's not-"

"Shut the fuck up and get back to camp before I throw you to the next feral rogue I find." I shiver at the thought. We'd crossed several in our years and they were disgusting creatures. The mere thought of them had the scent invading my mind, making me want to gag. Christopher followed behind me, eyes burning into my back. The grass beneath my feet felt soft. Makes me want to lay in a field of it, sun shining brightly on my skin. 

A harsh shove pushes me to the ground, the soft grass not soft enough to cushion my fall. I land with a 'thud' and an 'oomph.' Before I can even process what's happening, a kick meets my side. I curl up with a groan. "He-" A kick to my head and the world turns briefly blurry. 

"Shut the fuck up, you ungrateful whore," another kick to my side. I catch a brief glimpse of his completely dark eyes. His wolf took over. Why? What did I ever do to him? "You useless runt," a harsh stomp to my lower abdomen. I need to get out of here. 

"Hey!" The kicking stops. I wheeze, my breath having been knocked out of me. I roll myself onto my side just as I hear clothes tearing. Two large blond wolves now stand in front of me, paws interlocked in combat. They harshly tear themselves down, Lycer managing to cut Christopher and leave splotching red tearing through his lighter fur. They almost form a blur for another second before Lycer shoves Christopher off of him and into a tree. Christopher hits it with a harsh cracking sound. At first I think it's him and then the tree starts to fall. Lycer runs towards me, I wrap my arms around his neck the second he's close and allow him to drag me away some twenty feet as the tree's fall echo's around the woods. Surely we've been heard and the others are on their way. If they see a rogue attacking Christopher. . . 

Lycer doesn't waste time once it's clear that Christopher made it past the tree falling. I drop my arms as he lunges at Christopher once again. Lycer's wolf is larger than Christopher, something I've always marveled at. This works to his advantage as he pins Christopher down and goes for the death bite. 

"No!" Lycer's head snaps up and I'm confused to find that it's me who yelled. "Lycer, they'll hunt you down if you hurt him," I refer to my remaining pack mates. He nods, shifting back. 

"Then leave," he says. What? Christopher shifts back in an attempt to escape. It doesn't work, Lycer pins him harshly to the ground by his throat. "Leave and don't ever come back." I push myself into a sitting position, my sides aching and my head swimming. Still, I listen to Lycer's threats. "If I see you anywhere near her or her people ever again," Christopher chokes as Lycer's hand tightens, "I'll end your miserable existence." Chris desperately tries to get Lycer's hands away from his throat but the smaller male doesn't budge. "Do you understand?" Christopher nods as best he can. "Speak, bitch." A large gasp of air is heard. 

"Y-y-yes," he rasps out. I myself just feel my breath catching up. 

"Good, then go." Lycer lets go and walks back towards me. He wraps his arms around me and I take comfort in his hug. 

"You're safe now," he whispers. 

I scrunch my eyes together, trying to shake off the tail end of the memories that decided to flood my sleep. Lycer. . . I never saw Christopher after that. Until now that is. I shiver, remembering how his eyes still look just as cold as before. 

Blinking, I take in the room around me. I'm still in Xavier's office. Looking down, I confirm that his arms are around me now. He moved us so we're both laying on the couch together, his arms around me while I practically lay on top of him. I feel my cheeks heat up. 

I haven't seen Lycer since. . 

He's not here anymore. But I have Xavier now. It'll all be okay.