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Catastrophic Cultivation!

Clint, a man who chose a heroic sacrifice, came to a Cultivation world only to find out... He wasn't alone! Not only that but he has a massive golden thigh to hug right there! Not a FF... But they get powers from anime and comics so I wasn't too sure about that. Anyway, nothing too serious, just enjoy it.

AgentMonke · Book&Literature
Not enough ratings
71 Chs

An aggressive Bartender and an overzealous Mechanic

Clint and Sarah were lazing around, laying in the grass, looking at the clouds, chatting happily. Clint found out yesterday that Sarah was from the Mu clan, a hidden clan full of powerful people.

But in reality…

Sarah looked at the clouds, smiling happily, "I was a Bartender…" she giggled, "Very average looking, not this fairy you're looking at now… You know how it is, if you aren't a 10/10 you don't get looked at. At least, not from normal people." Clint turned his head and asked in confusion, "Normal people?"

Sarah turned to him and pursed her lips, "You know, not weirdos and fatties who are terminally online." Clint's lips twitched and he looked at her, "You're talking about me, right? You're insinuating I'm a fat weirdo?" Sarah burst out laughing and retorted, "You said it, not me."

Clint turned back and snorted, Sarah giggled happily and turned to the clouds, "Anyway! Before I was so rudely interrupted… I was just a normal bartender, trying to make ends meet. The place I worked at was in a bad neighborhood so I got robbed like almost everyday! You gotta be a little tough to work there, but I figured it out… Who would've thought, the moment I find a better job, I got my face taken off by a brick…"

Clint burst out laughing and she glared at him as he pursed his lips, "I was a mechanic. Nothing special really, worked on all sorts of things… I went to school for all sorts of mechanical areas like you know… TVs, Cellphones, Signal Towers, Cars…"

He scratched his chin and sighed depressingly, "Wasted 28 years of my life trying to learn everything just so I would have a lot of options… When I finally clinched a good deal, I got smashed by a rock from Mars!" Sarah was speechless, "A rock?! From Mars?!"

Clint looked depressed, "It was red and fell from the sky… I didn't live near any skyscrapers or mountains. Where else did it come from? Turned me into Meat Sauce." Sarah covered her mouth and burst out laughing, Clint sighed again, pouting.

He didn't ask for this!

Who would want to be smashed by a rock from Mars?!

Sarah laughed, mimicking a voice, "You can't blow a hole into the surface of Mars!" Clint looked at her in shock, asking excitedly, "You play Doom?!" Sarah looked at him and pursed her lips gently, "Mhm… You watch One Piece?" Clint retorted "You mean One Peak?!" Sarah's eyes lit up, "Yeah! Hahaha!"

They clasped hands like good friends that hadn't seen each other in years, laughing "Where have you been all my life?!"

As they were chatting, the Old man came over slowly, saying angrily "You two should be cultivating! Not talking nonsense, staring at the clouds all day!" Sarah pouted "Aw… Come on, Peak Master…" Clint rolled over and said, "Oh… My weak heart, if I cultivate, I'll die! Bleh."

Sarah coughed violently, covering her mouth as the Old man trembled in anger, blowing his beard up in rage, "Damn brats! Your senior brother is back. Go ask him for advice!" as he waved his sleeve, looking very depressed.

Two good seedlings… No, one good seedling, getting dragged down by a lazy bum!

The old man was Yun Feng, the Hidden Sword Peak, Peak Master.

Sarah and Clint sat up, looking at each other strangely, "Senior Brother?" Clint pursed his lips, "Interesting…" he got up and pulled Sarah up as she said with narrowed eyes, "This guy should be him?"

Clint laughed, teasing "Well, it's not you, right?" Sarah puffed her cheeks and glared at him, "It could be me!" Clint shook his head, walking away as he said "You're not that guy, pal. Trust me, you're not that guy."

Sarah laughed and followed after him, kicking him forward, retorting "Could it be you?! Hahaha! Idiot!" Clint slid on the dirt face first, rubbing his ass, groaning in a muffled voice "It should be me!" Sarah stepped on him and twisted her delicate feet, laughing happily "Yeah?"

Clint muttered, "Oh god… Are you stepping on me?" Sarah froze and jumped, "Ahh! You're one of THOSE people!?" Clint jumped up, pointing at her nose, shouting angrily "I am not! Don't slander me, damn!" Sarah posed seductively, "Could it be… you feel for my charms?"

Clint's lips twitched, looking her up and down, "You're pretty good. Perfect in all areas… But how can you compare to me?" he pointed at his eyebrows, "Don't you see these sword-like eyebrows?! Star-like eyes? I am HIM!"

Sarah smashed her forehead on Clint's, pointing at her own features, retorting angrily "These Willow leaf eyebrows, cherry red lips, jade features! You don't see them!? Are you blind?! Please, tell me! I have many things that will cure you!" Clint grinded his teeth and glared at her before snorting, turning away, "I'll be the bigger person."

Sarah pursed her lips and pulled on his cheek, giggling "Oh? Yeah?" Clint waved her hand away, saying embarrassingly "Okay! I got it! Leave me alone! Damn!" Sarah laughed happily as they walked to find this so-called 'Senior Brother'

A young man with black hair, wearing a black robe with jade pendants was standing on the mountain, looking out in the distance. His brows were furrowed in thought, seemingly pondering something.

He turned his head suddenly, seeing a young man in a gray robe with messy blue hair, twisting a finger in his ear as a beautiful girl with fiery red hair shouted at him. The young man looked at the duo without waves in his eyes, smiling slightly.

Very calm.