This Time She’s Not Here

Before long, it was time for the third performance (San Gong). To save time, the performance was scheduled for a weekday, so many fans had to take time off to attend. As a student, Qin Ran couldn't go. Yu Shuman wouldn't let her skip class or play truant, telling her that a good student should focus on their studies.

Qin Ran had no choice but to stay in the classroom and listen to the lecture. Yu Shuman wasn't wrong; a student's priority should be academics. Yu Shuman had taken a leave of absence to participate in the competition because she had a different path to follow. After much consideration, her school counselor had eventually granted her leave. The counselor understood Yu Shuman's situation and why she was participating in the show, so she didn't make things difficult, only advising her not to let the opportunity for a degree slip away for the sake of temporary gains.

Yu Shuman had earnestly promised that her academics wouldn't be neglected.

While Qin Ran trusted Yu Shuman to keep that promise, she couldn't help but feel envious of the upperclassmen who had no classes that day and went together to watch Yu Shuman's third performance. Sitting in class, Qin Ran's mind wandered to the performance.

Yu Shuman must be backstage, waiting for her turn. She could imagine her gripping the hem of her skirt nervously. For the first time, Yu Shuman, who had always seemed calm, was feeling nervous. She knew it was because Qin Ran wasn't there. She had come to think of Qin Ran as her lucky charm. As long as Qin Ran was present, her confidence soared, and she felt fearless.

But this time, Qin Ran wouldn't be in the audience.

She knew that Qin Ran had to attend class and couldn't come to watch her perform.

When the episode airs later, Qin Ran will see it! Yu Shuman clenched her fists as the staff urged her and her teammates to take their places on stage. She stood in her designated spot, with the stage completely dark, only able to see the colorful support lights and banners in the audience.

Honestly, waiting in the dark on stage was quite frightening. Her heart was pounding loudly, an annoying sound in her ears. Despite knowing that Qin Ran wasn't in the audience, she instinctively searched for her among the crowd. She didn't find Qin Ran but did spot her support team, with her roommates holding up a banner with her name on it. Beyond that, she saw nothing.

How many people are out there? How many pairs of eyes are watching her? If she made a mistake, they would surely notice and mock her. What expressions did the audience have while watching her? Did her dance and song make them happy? Or were they here for another contestant, just waiting for her to get off the stage so their favorite could perform…

Such thoughts swirled in Yu Shuman's mind. On stage, with nothing but the lights to see, the pressure felt overwhelming, like a tide crushing her. The scariest part was that Qin Ran wasn't in the audience—the one person who would unwaveringly support her, no matter what, was not there.

The next moment, the director's voice came through her earpiece, announcing that they were ready and counting down from three. When the countdown ended, the music began, and Yu Shuman had to follow her team, starting her third performance. This time, they were performing a unique song with a distinctive dance routine. Each contestant had to move like a wind-up doll before breaking free and transforming into a liberated individual.

Yu Shuman was fortunate in a way because her current stiffness fit the dance's initial mechanical movements. She could feel her arms struggling to rise, and the sound in her earpiece seemed distorted due to her nerves. She hadn't realized how much Qin Ran's absence would affect her.

—I can't let this happen. Even though Qin Ran isn't in the audience, she will see this performance later on TV. What would she think if she saw her senior performing so poorly…?

These thoughts filled Yu Shuman's mind, and she gradually relaxed, becoming more agile and confident. As Qin Ran's senior, she had to be someone her junior could rely on. How could she lose her composure just because Qin Ran wasn't there? What right would she have to call herself a senior then?

The stage might be daunting, with its blinding lights and overwhelming noise, making it hard to hear her own voice through the earpiece. But Yu Shuman knew that as long as Qin Ran was out there somewhere, she would be cheering her on. Even if she wasn't physically present, Yu Shuman knew Qin Ran was sincerely hoping for her success.

With this thought, Yu Shuman's heart filled with courage. She no longer held back, dancing and singing with her entire being.

From stiffness to complete freedom, her mindset matched the dance perfectly, and her performance this time surpassed her previous ones. When the song ended, she heard the audience's cheers but couldn't help feeling a bit disappointed—if only Qin Ran had been there to see it. The host came on stage to interview them and naturally handed the microphone to Yu Shuman.

The host asked if she had earned any money after participating in the show for so long. Yu Shuman hesitated, knowing that 99 Entertainment was paying her a decent salary, but the question still embarrassed her. Her puzzled expression was displayed on the big screen, and then she sheepishly answered, "I've earned a little bit."

Her answer drew laughter from the audience.

"And during this time, what do you think you've gained the most?" the host asked.

Yu Shuman pondered for a while, only snapping out of it when her teammate nudged her. She hurriedly answered, "The support from others. Because there are people supporting me, I can stand on this stage and show a different side of myself."

Though her words were brief, the audience found them heartfelt. But Yu Shuman knew that when she said "support," she was mainly referring to Qin Ran.

There wasn't anyone else who supported her like Qin Ran did. Qin Ran even quit her other part-time jobs to come to the filming base and work. Though Yu Shuman wasn't at school, she knew that Qin Ran had quit all her jobs. The boss who supplied their lunch boxes had a stall in the school cafeteria and occasionally visited her. He had mentioned that Qin Ran had even quit working for him.

It was at that moment that Yu Shuman realized just how much Qin Ran had sacrificed for her.

The filming base was far from the school, yet Qin Ran came almost every day. That kind of dedication wasn't something just anyone could muster, especially for someone like Qin Ran, who was socially anxious and hated trouble. If she had nothing to do, she would stay in her dorm, not moving an inch.

The more Yu Shuman understood the type of person Qin Ran was, the more touched she felt by her support.

She was genuinely grateful for the encouragement she received from Qin Ran. It was because of Qin Ran that she could shine.

After answering, the host asked them to leave the stage. Yu Shuman and her team bowed to the audience before exiting. Backstage, the assistant that Sister Li had arranged for her came over with a bottle of water. "Manny, have some water." Yu Shuman thanked her and took small sips, calming her racing heart from the stage.

Though Qin Ran hadn't come, Yu Shuman realized something: not only was she striving to be someone Qin Ran could rely on, but she also depended on Qin Ran. Without Qin Ran around, she might have been more passive, not as vibrant and driven as she was now.

As Yu Shuman reflected on her feelings, one of her teammates suddenly started crying. Her assistant whispered comforting words to her, but even so, her muffled sobs could still be heard. Yu Shuman glanced over and saw that it was the contestant who had made a significant mistake on stage.

They had already learned their scores, including their team's votes and the judges' evaluations. Based on these, they could estimate their rankings. Their team had performed well, with two members showing exceptional skills—both were former underground idols with strong singing and dancing abilities. Yu Shuman had only been slightly stiff at the start, which matched the choreography.

But one teammate had made a major mistake, putting her at risk of elimination and lowering their team's overall score.

Even though she was crying like a rain-soaked flower, no one blamed her. Instead, they reassured her that she still had a chance, and her overall score might be enough to advance. But the crying contestant knew better; she could already tell she was likely to be eliminated.

Under these circumstances, those who tried to comfort her soon gave up and sat down to watch.

Yu Shuman remained seated, silent. She watched the contestant for a while until she stopped crying out of exhaustion. Yu Shuman knew that while setbacks were common, the entertainment industry didn't often offer second chances. Once you fell, you could end up in obscurity.

At that moment, Yu Shuman realized she didn't enjoy this type of talent show. She didn't want to be a girl group idol, singing and dancing on stage, especially since their careers were so short-lived. She was already in her twenties—how many more years could she spend on stage?

As Yu Shuman contemplated her future, she came to a realization: she was only using this show as a platform to debut and gain popularity, not to box herself into the girl group category.

If she wanted to avoid ending up like her teammate, crying and seeking comfort, she would have to make sure not to make a single mistake.