Can't Turn Back The Hand Of Time

^-^

"So, what you were saying was after I sent you home, you ran to my father to tell him the truth?"

Andrei stood up from the bed and started pacing the room, raking his naturally wavy hair with his fingers, while his free hand was on his waist.

"Be careful with your choice of words, Andrei. Yes, you had a private plane ready, but you didn't send me home. "I didn't get on the plane," she scoffed. "I went home on my own!"

Her mood suddenly became sullen. She doesn't like the tone of Andrei's voice. Like he was blaming her for what she did in the past.

"You don't understand!" He threw his hands in the air.

"Of course, I don't understand. You fucking had a plane ready but you didn't give me an explanation that day." She rolled her eyes. She wanted to smack his head. 'Stupid jerk!'

"I'm done. You can use the bathroom now —" Bella's words were caught in the back of her throat when she noticed the stifling atmosphere in the room.

She and Andrei both remained quiet, which made Bella feeling truly awkward. Her questioning eyes landed on her because Andrei was already walking to the bathroom with his towel draped on his shoulder.

Laurie, feeling vindicated, screamed behind Andrei's back, "Forget about my offer to sit with you when you feel like apologizing to your mother and telling her the truth! I did what must have been done years ago. I no longer have any guilt towards your mother!"

Come to think of it, she felt pity towards Andrei because he can't show himself and his love freely, but then it was before. Now, the situation was different and whatever was happening was his own doing.

Although he followed his heart with his love, he wasn't responsible enough for the consequences of his choices.

She was part of the lies, but she had already come clean. Now it was Andrei's decision. Despite having many opportunities to apologize to his mother and admit the lies over the years, he kept running away.

She can't totally blame him since she was also running away from her mother, but her case is different from his. She was running away from her mother because she wanted to be free to love. To choose.

She did many things that disappointed her own mother, but she knew deep inside she tried to be a good daughter, it just happened that whatever she did, her mother thought it was never enough.

When she does things that are not what her mother wants, it isn't good enough. Where's the justice in that? She was also tired of fighting and arguing that despite the long years, never saw any way of a truce or peace.

Perhaps North and South Korea will reunite first before her mother understands and respects her choices.

She looked at Bella who was still at loss with what happened with her and Andrei. She gave her an apologetic smile before she went under the comforter. She does not want to see Andrei when he gets out of the bathroom.

She had enough for tonight.

She felt Bella climbing the other side of the bed. She slowly gets under the cover too.

"Don't worry about me. I'm still awake. I'm too pissed off to sleep actually." she mumbled under the blanket.

"Uh," was all Bella said and turned her back on her. She turned off the bedside lamp on her side.

She copied what she did. She turned off her bedside lamp too. She doesn't really care if the lights were on or off. She could sleep properly either way.

The choice of lights off or on for her only becomes a question in a different situation. She grinned to herself, with how her brain could still think of those stupid things when she has enough on her plate.

She was humoring Andrei with his indecisiveness due to the fact that she needed a distraction. But now the distraction that comes with Andrei was giving her enough migraines.

She never expected that coming to Japan she would have to deal with Hideaki when she thought what happened to them in the past was all forgotten.

They separated amicably. They talk about things that have to be settled. They walked away with a clear understanding of why she must make the choices she has to take.

But now, with Hideaki's reaction to her being in Tokyo, it seemed like she was the only one who thought that they separated cleanly.

Hideaki clearly has some issues with her, for why in the world would he act like she is an enemy.

Remembering that she had to be at Nakamura's house this weekend, and the fact that she would sit down and have a meal with Hideaki with his father on the table, her temple throbbed in pain.

And as if that wasn't enough. The past with Rina Yamaguchi was also opened.

She does not need Andrei as a distraction now. She had enough distraction now that she won't even remember what she did last night.

She turned to her back, pulled down the blanket to her chest. Andrei was still in the bathroom and he won't get out of there anytime soon.

She went back to staring at the ceiling. Trying to remember the life decisions she had taken. If not with Andrei or Hideaki or her own mother that kept on reminding her of her apparently poor choices.

She is okay with all the choices she made back then. She wasn't proud of it. But she is okay with it. Except for one. And it doesn't involve her mother for once. That single event in her life was her biggest regret in her life.

If she would be given a choice to go back in the past, she would. And she knew exactly where she wanted to go. And what she would do.

Andrei never realized how lucky he was that he can still apologize and be forgiven. Unlike her. In this life, there is no redemption to be found for her...perhaps in the afterlife. If life after death exists.