Chapter 37.

"Little brother, really though, who is this beauty? You can't expect me to believe my virgin little brother landed such a hottie, can you?"

"It's really true big sister! Why can't you just believe in your little brother for once?"

My sister glanced at my wife with an inquisitorial look.

My lovely little wife finally came to my rescue and silently nodded her head in affirming my claims.

"Really? Are you serious?"

My big sister made her way over to my wife, extended her hand and placed her palm on my wife's forehead.

"Are you feeling well? Do you know what you're dying from yet or how long you have left to live?"

Why are you showing a look of such deep concern towards a woman you have never met before?! What is with this difference in treatment and what do you mean how long does she have left to live?! Do you think your brother can only land a terminally ill patient in a hospital?

Those novels I've read are all just scams! Sexy big sister seducing her little brother? Hah! Don't make me laugh, keep dreaming you foolish little tools! This is the cold harsh reality of siblings related by blood!

My sister was one reason why I never really wanted to introduce my wife to my family. In the end she always treated me like the plague.

"Little brother, now that I think about it, why were you knocking to get in? Where are your keys?"

Was it finally time for the brilliant excuse I thought of earlier? I confidently proclaimed with absolute conviction, and a smug, proud, complacent, self serving smile on my face, like there could be no other answer, "I lost them."

"Oh I see."

Ha! I am a genius! If this was an anime I would have definitely said, "I died, tehe." But I'm not so naive to go and say something completely moronic like that. The simplistic answer was sometimes the best answer.

"Couldn't you have at least come up with a more interesting reason? Like you got mugged or shot and died but came back to life with a new body and just realized you no longer have your keys because you died?"

"..."

Big sister, are you a wizard? A prophet? An omnipotent god? What the hell? Why? No, really! Just, why? Does it look like I really died? Do I smell like a dead man or something?

"Why'd your face suddenly cramp up when I said that? You're taking it too seriously, it was a joke. Did you really die after all and lose your sense of humor?"

"Yeah… maybe I did. Haha. Big sister, have you been reading too many stories lately?"

"I have, those stories under your bed and in that folder on your computer were pretty interesting. What were they called again? Oh right, mmph."

No no no no no. Don't you dare, not in front of my wife! I stepped in between my sister and wife and immediately covered my sister's mouth with my hands. When I looked over to my wife I told her, "little wife, I have some things I must discuss with my big sister. Please excuse me for a moment."

I suddenly felt a strange chill run down my back when I felt a moist sensation on my palm. I even nearly pulled my hand back reflexively from how weird it was. Slightly panicked I looked back to my big sister. Did you just lick my palm? Big sister please don't mess around in front of my wife. Do you even know how scary she can be? She's a flipping goddess of calamity, do you even understand the weight of those words? Do you want your little brother to die from a single sneeze again?

Ah, I get it now. She intentionally wanted to make things difficult for me. A single, jealous woman was a scary thing! I know you're frustrated that your little brother came back with a wife and married ahead of you, but please don't give my wife the wrong idea!

Really though, what's with your eyes that look like you're declaring war against the entire world? Why do I feel a strange sense of overwhelming conviction radiating from your body? Why do those eyes feel like they scream that you will fight to the death until you breathe your very last breath?

Shouldn't it be my male friends who sabotage my relationship instead? Why is my big sister acting like a jealous dude with nothing better to do with her time? Did you suddenly decide to undergo surgery?

"Beautiful big sister, my wife has always mentioned to me that if she ever met you, she would like to introduce you to her attractive male friends."

Yes, those eyes brightening gave me all the confidence I needed. That was of course until my wife corrected me.

"Husband, did I say that? I don't even have any male friends. However, if it's a girlfriend I do have one in particular that I could introduce."

My sister really always tried her best to act nonchalant, indifferent, and uncaring; but there were certain things that she could never hide. Her eyes truly gave away everything she truly thought; others may not be able to read her expressions, but I definitely could.

Those eyes glaring at me definitely said, "little boy, you are dead to me. Dead!"

I should feel scared when being looked at by such eyes, strangely enough, rather than scared I felt more excited than anything. Just to reiterate this, I am not a pervert. I am a suave gentleman who gets excited trying to think of ways to quell a girl's anger. Yes, that must be it.

After I reaffirmed the self denial within my heart, I thought of a way to redeem myself. When I thought back to the time before we returned to my world I remembered someone. Wasn't there an arrogant prince charming that came to this world with us? What if I tied the knot between these two who like to look down on others? Wouldn't they be a match made in heaven?

Ah, being such a benevolent master in the way of love really was difficult. So many things to do. So many things to do.

In case the heavens above are listening into my thoughts, repeating myself was for emphasis in case you didn't realize the brilliance of how my inner mind works.

Alas, there was never a day of rest for this suave master of love affairs that all men, women, gods, goddesses, and even the heavens up above looked up to.

Crash.

When I looked up at the sky for a moment to check, the sky was completely clear. Not a cloud in sight.

Hmmp! It looked like my little buddy heavens up above had truly listened in on my world shakingly deep and profound thoughts. If you truly are there Little Heaven, crash once for yes and twice for no.

Are you listening in on my thoughts little buddy up above the world so high?

Crash.

Holy mother Jocasta! I didn't think it was for real! I thought I was just hearing things just now. I wonder if I could use this to my advantage though. An evil smile floated to my face. That smile contained multiple different meanings of which only I understood. What the smile on my face at this moment meant would only be revealed in the future.

"Little wife, don't you remember that prince, Ten Jo? He would definitely be a match made in heaven for my beautiful big sister. Don't you think so?"

"Ah, now that you mention it, he is here too."

When my big sister heard the word prince, her ears perked up slightly to listen in carefully. She was definitely after the money to live an easy life. I know you all too well, big sister. We are one in the same after all; supreme slackers who want to be carried through life.

"Well big sister? Are you interested now?"

"Ehem. Whatever are you talking about my wonderful little brother, come in, come in. We should go meet mother. Father is still working but he should be done soon."

You could really put more emotion on your face and into that tone of yours. That flat tone and uncaring face; if I wasn't your brother I would never see through it or notice the sparkles hidden deep within your eyes.

My sister grabbed both our hands then eagerly dragged us into the house. When I found my mother in the kitchen she was listening to music on her phone while cooking. I was directly behind her right when she turned her head to the side. Startled, she immediately dropped the ladle in her hand when she noticed me at the corner of her eye. She gasped in fright like she had seen a ghost.

She often got scared easily from the dumbest things. I always found it strange how she always got a near heart attack every time someone popped out unexpectedly behind her without her hearing them.

Who am I kidding? I did it purposely every time. Halloween with a scream mask was always the best. I was such an evil kid back then.

"You idiot son! Scaring the living daylights out of me every damn time!"

When my mother composed herself after she'd been scared senseless, she picked up the ladle and tried to give me a good whack on the head.

Seeing as this wasn't some sort of gag manga, I naturally dodged like a speed god with my now far superior reflexes. That's what I'd like to say, but I actually just tripped on the edge of the carpet on the ground when I stepped back to avoid the ladle of head smacking. I fell backwards and hit my head on the edge of the table behind me like an idiot. My shallow attempt to look cool by dodging in a cultivator like manner in front of my wife was a total bust.

Damn, how lame. Having thick skin naturally had its benefits though. I stood back up like nothing happened and flicked my sleeves to the sides like it was all a part of the plan while my mother had a good laugh after my failure.

"Ehem, mother, I have brought your daughter in law to pay a visit."

"Who's?"

"Yours of course."

What's with that look of incomprehension and lack of understanding on your face like you can't fathom how those words could possibly be put into the same sentence when coming from your son's mouth?

My confidence took another great blow on this day as an imaginary trail of blood dripped down from the corner of my mouth while my eyes turned dead. I really took way too many heavy blows today. I couldn't help but wonder if I stepped on some cursed, supreme grade dragon shit when I came back to my realm.